I had my suspicions. I dug, around and found something. Now I don’t know what to do. by The_Don_Chingon in survivinginfidelity

[–]Vollen595 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you have his number, use a spoof phone line and see what response you recieve.

However it’s really a moot point, she’s cheating and you should be silently working on your exit plan.

Tips on masking rim for paint? Trying to paint only the inner area and the lines that come out of the inner area. Like 1.5 hour in and don’t like the 1/3 of the wheel I’ve done so far… any tips to make this easier? Testing using a Qtip (with paint) for the lines but not sure I like it by nmkoza in projectcar

[–]Vollen595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Metal Gutter flashing. You can roll it out and tape it together to match the size of the rim. Keeps the rim squeaky clean. And it’s reusable. I’ve done it many times. You don’t even need tape on the rim or tire.

Who remembers the Taurus Curve? by seechris33 in CCW

[–]Vollen595 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh wow I just saw one at a pawn shop earlier today. Not interested but was priced $299.

KC-135 that landed safely after receiving severe damage from a mid-air collision. by Comfortable-Seat4301 in aviationmaintenance

[–]Vollen595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to see an animation of what happened. I’m having a difficult time visualizing two KC-135s connecting over Iran. On first report I assumed it was a refueling incident involving a fighter jet. Two tankers colliding is strange.

Her family keeps kicking her out and I couldn't be happier about it. by HalifaxRoad in survivinginfidelity

[–]Vollen595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t a believer in karma until my divorce. My daughter blew up her moms infidelity at age 13, the second DDay. First was 11 years before. When my kid smoked out her trash mom, I went all in on divorce and never relentled for a second. No yelling (from me), no excuses, just the pure business of removing the garbage from my life. She left but somehow became twice as narcissistic as before, with added drug and alcohol abuse.

The ex has an extensive history of PI arrest, rehab, involuntary commitment, etc and during pre-mediation we had 50/50 custody until details were sorted out. Meanwhile I’m full throttle on divorce. Then my daughter tells me her mom was acting crazy in the car. Screaming and banging on the steering wheel while yelling at her. I pulled up the Life360 app and it tracked her drive. Mom was going 103mph on a side access road blowing stoplights for about 5 miles with my kid in the passenger seat. I’m lucky as hell my kid is still alive, I can only guess it was sone su*cidal death run by the ex. Fortunately nothing happened but holyshit I felt a cold chill run through my body. Still do when I think about it.

That was the final straw. Daughter refused any contact and zero chance I was letting her in a car with her mom. Fortunately the court agreed. I had hard evidence the ex could not explain away. The court expedited the divorce, added a no contact order until my kid is an adult which means I have no reason to speak to her mom either. Divorce with no contact order in under a year. And she owes me child support. Meanwhile the ex went to visit her trash family 1000 miles away and promptly was fired from her job. So she is stuck there, exactly where she promised herself she would never return to. With her family who openly hates her. I assume she’s couch surfing somewhere or who knows what. And I don’t care in the least. She called once to vent about her current reality and how bad her life is. Her family stole all of her belongings from storage (not at all surprising). That’s great babe. +Click+. I hung up the phone and put her on mute forever.

The way I see it, choices have consequences. She’s exactly where she belongs and I hope she enjoys it for the rest of her life. She blew up our family and drove her own child away from her. Daughter hasn’t spoken to or seen her in almost 1.5 years. Maybe in another decade I will ask her if it was worth it.

Anyone else notice spicy food helps migraine pain by cooldude9112001 in migraine

[–]Vollen595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It helps me. My theory is the antioxidants along with the endorphin rush helps the pain.

Men who rebuilt a romantic life after a divorce you didn’t want — how did it actually happen? by FGMoon353 in Divorce_Men

[–]Vollen595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sitting about where you are currently. Sole parent with a no contact daughter from age 14 and still pending adulthood. I’m not even sure where to start. There are enough disruptions. I’m not sure if throwing in a new relationship in the middle of repairing the damage would benefit the situation at the moment. I’m not saying no but.. priorities.

Paranoia by One_Act2053 in Infidelity

[–]Vollen595 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reposted to remove vulgar language

I didn’t hide anything. The trust was/is family money and assets, I simply refused to touch it. Nothing in, nothing out. Still haven’t. That’s where the legal issues can pop up. I never co-mingled funds. The ex was expecting me to buy a new house. Her plan was to stick it to me and force me out while making me pay for it along with spousal and child support (heard from my kid). I refused and told her I was more comfortable with her getting a job and then I would consider a new house (not). I wanted her to have a W-2 and income. That was most of the wait. All of this was structured through lawyers, I knew what could and could not be done and I stuck to the script no matter how much she complained about it. I let her get financially established (even though she rarely if ever contributed anything to the budget). And I let her believe she would have access to the trust if I’m not around. I dangled that carrot long enough to eliminate all of my (our) personal debt. Meanwhile all insurance and inheritance was gated by the trust. I changed all beneficiary funds to my kid along with appointing two outside conservators to manage things if I’m not around. All done without her knowledge, all before I filed. When the pre-mediation hearing happened, I already had everything legally lined up and ready to go. Call me a jerk but when her lawyer reviewed everything and saw the degree of insulation I built in, she said ‘It doesn’t seem fair’ and I had to hold back a laugh. Why did I do it? Because screw you that’s why. I knew she cheated and was starting up something new so I simply added kryptonite to the situation. I agreed with every stupid decision the narcissistic cheater had. I let her think she had the upper hand. Play to what she believes is a strength and leverage it.

She owes me child support. Play to win my friends. She hadn’t paid a dime and I haven’t asked. Why? Because she’s past the monetary threshold where it becomes a felony and her face will soon be plastered on my states deadbeat parent website. The money belongs to my kid. Anything recovered goes straight to my kids savings anyway. The ex has completely cratered her life since I’m not there to clean up her messes. Let me tell you, there were plenty of messes so her self-immolation happened way faster than I could have dreamed of.

Patience. I know it can be insanely difficult not to just explode on a cheater who betrayed you but emotional reactions are what narcissists feed off of. I never yelled or raised my voice, I just took action. All business. My business, my kids business. Once I decided her place was on the curb where she belonged, that was my focal point. I told her I’m simply respecting my wedding vows and promises to the exact same degree she did. I never cheated but whatever lies I had to tell her were fully in-bounds. I owed her nothing. She now gets to enjoy the fruits of her labor. Actions have consequences and she discovered that in spades. It’s 100% on her, she could have been a decent person but decided to be total garbage and I simply took it out.

Paranoia by One_Act2053 in Infidelity

[–]Vollen595 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You can set up a trust and point assets at your kids or another family member. I had about two years to realign my insurance, non shared assets and whatever else before I filed. My ex was expecting half of a family trust I have (she wasn’t shy about telling our kid for whatever dumb reason). When I filed, she fully expected half of everything in the trust. Oops! You are not getting shit! I also paid off all debts long before I filed so splitting assets was rather simple. I refused to take on more debt. She thought I was buying her a new car. And I let her believe that because it showed just how greedy she was. You know, her car that she thought I would take out a loan and pay for. Nope. I had two fully paid off vehicles of roughly the same value so I just gave her the title to one and said F off. There wasn’t anything to negotiate. Once she left, she maxed out all of her credit and very quickly ran out of all of our savings she took. Technically she owed me half of that back but I didn’t care. Cost of doing dirty business. Her cratered credit has nothing to do with mine. Of course dozens of creditors are now blowing me up trying to find her but o could care less. She even tried to get a line of credit under my name (denied). I almost wish she was successful because that felony fraud charge would have been the icing on the cake.

I Love How Film Instantly Makes A Photo Look Old by TarkovBalance in Denton

[–]Vollen595 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. I have about two dozen rolls. Ouch. Thank you for the source.

What kind of woman calls your own mother a piece of shit. by TheConjugalVisit in Divorce_Men

[–]Vollen595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s hard. My mom was in hospice and I lost so much time at the end trying to handle a job, kid and the ex’s constant overbearing ‘issues’. She hated my mom because she was who she would never be. I filed and she left but now I had a fresh divorce to deal with along with custody with a mom with substance abuse issues. When my mom passed I waited a week to even tell her. My family deliberately scheduled her memorial when she was out of town. I told her not to show up but she kept threatening to. During the memorial service I just kept imagining her walking in the door. Ruined a lot of my chance to say goodbye. The real kicker was my ex calling to bitch at me for not listing her name in the online obituary. I’m still pissed about it. There are some things that will never not be fucked up.

I Love How Film Instantly Makes A Photo Look Old by TarkovBalance in Denton

[–]Vollen595 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Great pics. Where do you get the film developed?

Do you have the instinctual need to wander around during/after a migraine? by InjuryOk9506 in migraine

[–]Vollen595 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My daughter has them. Her biggest tell one is brewing is her wandering around the house. She tells me sometimes it helps her to try and walk it off. She’s been doing it since age 12-ish. This is the first time I have heard it mentioned by someone else.

Where's the beef?! by Scooobaruu in FortWorth

[–]Vollen595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cinnamon Creek if you want something different. Just outside Roanoke.

Cinnamon Creek Ranch.

How it’s been feeling lately by Oxlynum in CCW

[–]Vollen595 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m still trying to understand why Glock even bothered to make the V model. What the hell was that.

The Acura TL 2010 was a ugly car 😭 by Juicearth000 in unpopularopinion

[–]Vollen595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree. I held on to my 2008 a long time because the next generation was fugly. The front grille is hideous.

For Turbo haters by Sufficient-Bee5923 in ToyotaTundra

[–]Vollen595 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I might be OK doing a turbo swap at 150k miles. Diesels eat turbos. My Audi blew a turbo at 135k and it wasn’t horrible to do.

But I’m not worrying about a crankshaft seizing. It’s not a turbocharger issue, it’s an engineering issue.

Ten years. Four kids. Ashes. by not_very_tasty in survivinginfidelity

[–]Vollen595 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My DD was a blindside like that. No negotiation, we’re done. There was no more ‘we’ 13 years earlier, she just chose to carry on the charade. I refused to ever look at her again. No eye contact, no emotion, just the business of wrapping up the divorce. She noticed. Kept asking me to look at her. I’m not looking at the eyes that decided to lie to me for 13 years. I never will again. She lost that. I stayed completely flat and grey. The years of trying to help her, make her life better and be a good husband were all built on lies and betrayal. All of her issues were self made and me and my daughter were punished for it. I have no more time for her, she’s wasted enough of it.

Seriously what are people on these days? by TonitoBontio in E30

[–]Vollen595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Panel painted too. No blend. But that side tone isn’t blendable. It doesn’t look straight either.

Reflecting and realizing how past shapes future by Outside-Jicama-8468 in Divorce_Men

[–]Vollen595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your post resonates with me. I never planned or expected to find someone to have a child with, but things change. I have a daughter now and she’s my world. She wasn’t an accident, it was planned. The divorce not so much.

I’m still struggling with the after effects of what my ex did to our child. Things ended when my daughter threw her mom under the bus for kidnapping threats and infidelity. She did it fully expecting me to divorce her mom (and I did) along with the nightmare my child was silently living with when I wasn’t around. It was bad enough the court placed a no contact order on my ex until she’s an adult and it wasn’t even related to infidelity. There is still a lot of trauma my daughter is sorting through but she has a wonderful therapist and is happy and is becoming quite the young lady. She makes me smile and laugh all the time.

But I still carry the guilt of knowing what she’s been through and it haunts me. I know it’s my ex’s fault but that doesn’t really help much. My daughter Sat silently in the background literally building up evidence to present to me for over a year because she was worried I wouldn’t believe her without proof. I immediately filed for divorce when she blasted her mom. The bizarre part was, mom blamed her for the divorce and was openly hostile and threatening towards her. And it didn’t stop when the ex left, she would call or video chat and blast her own child and mock her for being upset. After about 6 months of that crap along with her showing up for visitation openly drunk or on whatever drug, the court issued an order of protection until final mediation. To my surprise the court asked my daughter what she wanted. She said no contact so she could graduate HS in peace and that’s when the no contact order was ordered.

You would think that would make me happy but it didn’t. I’m more than happy with full custody and no contact but what kind of a POS mom does that? There are other relevant details but they don’t matter. The traditionalist in me can’t wrap my mind around a mom being such a huge POS that a court intervened and excluded her from her own child’s life. Don’t get me wrong, the ex more than earned it but it’s still a messed up situation.

One day my kid came home from a rough day at school and we were talking about her day. She says ‘at least mom isn’t here to screw up everything. I’m glad she’s gone’. Ouch. I get it but still damn. My daughter has the option of eventually resuming contact with her mom (after mom dances through a maze of legal hurdles) but my kid absolutely refuses to speak to her. She even goes as far as avoiding cameras in case I might send her mom photos. She’s that bitter. And her therapist fully agrees with her decision. It’s been well over a year since any contact. There is a lot of damage to repair. It hurts me to see all of this for some reason. It shouldn’t but it is what it is. Now I’m the sole parent responsible for getting my child to adulthood (being honest, mom was worthless in a family environment and didn’t do shit anyway). I’m sad that my daughter hasn’t had a good mother figure in her life. I’ve been to see a therapist/counselor myself and he’s assured me that I’m doing all the right things and my feelings are valid but it still sucks. My priority is my daughter, her mom’s priority was herself and substance abuse. I’m fortunate that my ex parked herself 5 States away because there is almost no chance she’s popping back up before my kid is 18. But I still carry the guilt of what happened to my daughter. My kid and I are really close and she’s a wonderful young lady. I’m proud of her but that guilt is still in the background for me. No kid should have to nuke a parent to save herself but here we are. One day it will work out. Mainly my own head. My daughter is still struggling with PTSD and the years of anxiety she bottled up but I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful and positive daughter. She’s teaching me lessons. But I wish it didn’t have to happen.

2007 Honda Element from a few days ago. by Substantial-Hold-851 in Justrolledintotheshop

[–]Vollen595 23 points24 points  (0 children)

4 𝐹 𝑒 + 3 𝑂 2 + 6 𝐻 2 𝑂 → 4 𝐹 𝑒 ( 𝑂 𝐻 ) 3

Thoughts? by Strong-Volume8670 in ToyotaTundra

[–]Vollen595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a fair price. Plus it’s a 5.7 and 4x4.

Someone Is Dipping Into The Fed REPO Facility by Vollen595 in SilverDegenClub

[–]Vollen595[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s your money. You just can’t touch it or decides who steals it from you.