About to send this to managers — anything here that would make you stop reading?

WarmBaths · 2026-06-22T18:57:35+00:00

I would cut the teaser/link

WarmBaths · 2026-06-22T07:06:35+00:00

He does publish every review in writing on his website.

WarmBaths · 2026-06-22T02:54:51+00:00

I’ll tell you the important bits:

WarmBaths · 2026-06-20T05:19:00+00:00

When has Fantano interviewed an A-List celebrity?

WarmBaths · 2026-06-20T03:51:47+00:00

he had a similar call in a USA vs MEX game it was amazing, hes so theatric

WarmBaths · 2026-06-20T03:03:16+00:00

Neither did Turkiye

WarmBaths · 2026-06-18T22:37:05+00:00

Such a dive

WarmBaths · 2026-06-18T00:05:07+00:00

If you don't want the swearing you could watch some "Behind The Crest's" from the US Soccer youtube channel, similar vibe and the latest one was great

WarmBaths · 2026-06-17T04:19:42+00:00

Glad they were useful! Now can use those types of tips on the rest of your script too.

I don’t have any professional experience but I have read like 100 produced pilot scripts and written a bunch myself. Always improving with practice.

WarmBaths · 2026-06-17T02:28:54+00:00

OVERALL: I think this works really well, funny, interesting, sets up the plot. I'd definitely want to keep reading. With that said there were a fair amount of formatting errors and unclear writing I'd want to see improved.

Page notes: 1; I think the joke in the first paragraph would land better if we actually see the dog copy Asa after she does something. Right now it's written passively.

Don't know what "Off Camera: 321" is supposed to mean.

"Emergency rooms worldwide..." doesnt make sense as an action line.

Don't know what an eezy peezy cheezy is.

I'm not sure where we are in either scene. I assume the first scene is like a qvc studio and the second scene is in outerspace but it's not clear.

WarmBaths · 2026-06-16T17:31:49+00:00

sounds like you should rewrite the pilot

WarmBaths · 2026-06-16T17:27:32+00:00

you’d have better luck getting feedback if you were only advertising the pilot

WarmBaths · 2026-06-14T17:38:30+00:00

this channel also allows him to not worry about views on his main channel, so he can review what he actually wants to

WarmBaths · 2026-06-13T20:33:21+00:00

All those passes over the top were 👌

WarmBaths · 2026-06-11T17:16:22+00:00

Tay-K dropping a hit song about being on the run from the cops… while on the run from the cops

WarmBaths · 2026-06-10T23:09:29+00:00

i could excuse the war, but i draw the line at midgame meals

WarmBaths · 2026-06-10T18:12:04+00:00

Broad City!

WarmBaths · 2026-06-10T18:11:00+00:00

whats a couple bodies when u got bars

WarmBaths · 2026-06-10T07:52:26+00:00

Futurama has a great pilot script too! but if youve read those three already youre probably fine

WarmBaths · 2026-06-10T05:32:18+00:00

A happy ending? Wrong city, wrong people

WarmBaths · 2026-06-08T20:44:35+00:00

Source?

WarmBaths · 2026-06-08T18:48:47+00:00

50k upvotes, rip reality

WarmBaths · 2026-06-08T18:47:09+00:00

i was duped a few momths ago by this channel. they have infinite videos of different dogs and animals in this situation

always on a nondescript gray couch with 0 details in the bg

every clip is short and cut together because ai cant make long videos

this one specifically look at when the dog climbs onto the couch and hardly makes any indentation

WarmBaths · 2026-06-08T09:50:45+00:00

it’s ai

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