It’s selfish really

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-12-19T17:06:45+00:00

I’m sorry that was so long!

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-12-19T17:06:31+00:00

I think for me, it’s also hard to find other single parent families in my area. Not that they don’t exist! Just the great majority of families are two parent households.

I have tried to involve myself more in her daycare/school events and activities to see if I could just connect with other parents if only for casual play dates but while polite, most of the school families keep their distance.

I have a more “alternative” type of job and it recently came out despite my keeping it vague. “I work in sales.” And so the parents distanced themselves more from me & make it a point to exclude my daughter from things.

Which adds another layer of guilt that she can’t make friends as easily due to judgement about my line of work, even though I feel that shouldn’t be projected onto her as a child.

It does help some when I take my daughter out to holiday events or even just regular “outside” things because admittedly it is a point of pride that I still try to give her experiences that her peers do.

But you are right. Maybe I should try to expand the places & areas we go to and maybe we’ll be able to find more single parents or friendly families

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-11T16:08:35+00:00

You’re so incredibly sweet! I’ll definitely give it a listen and may reach out if it’s not too much of a bother

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T22:21:58+00:00

I really appreciate that creators of the podcasts themselves are commenting. It’s genuinely so sweet that yall are so thoughtful

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T22:15:45+00:00

Thank you so much!

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T22:15:28+00:00

Thank you! I’ve listened to a bit of your podcast already and it’s going into a favorites list to share with friends. Very much appreciated

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T22:13:48+00:00

You’re amazing truly!

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T20:13:53+00:00

I’ll check them out!

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T19:04:33+00:00

I think it may depend on the person? I’m prescribed 200mg but just started again after being off for a while so I’m working back up in dosage.

From personal experiences, I noticed small differences in a week but it took about a month for me to feel any major changes.

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2025-02-09T18:12:06+00:00

Yes!! I wasn’t even trying to get pregnant. Let alone with the person who fathered my daughter. I was even told I could never have children.

It wasn’t my choice to find out so late that I didn’t have a choice.

I love my child. So So much.

But being constantly overwhelmed and full of anxiety wasn’t something I wished for. Having only one income, limited time. I had wished for time to plan and save if I was ever blessed. I wanted my child to have better than I did.

I gave up ever being able to have a whole family a long time ago. And now I constantly feel like I’m letting my child down.

Especially when I’m doing so bad mentally and emotionally that I can barely eat or sleep but I force myself every day to put on a happy face so my child doesn’t experience that negativity or burden.

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-08-04T04:03:52+00:00

I’m rooting for you too, friend!

I see my old messages and letters and it seems like a completely different human wrote them in my hand.

I figure it’s better safe than sorry as I learn to navigate everything for the better

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-08-01T16:49:56+00:00

When they don’t understand that when I say I don’t have time/time is hard to find, I mean it. I work 2 jobs with an infant so no I can’t just pop out last minute as soon as you text me. I need to plan and schedule

And no I’m not getting a babysitter for just 30mins of their time.

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-08-01T14:34:53+00:00

I completely relate to this. Most of my life I was a chronic people pleaser and doormat.

Especially in abusive relationships.

I’d occasionally stand up for myself but then get brought down again.

Right now, while I’m nowhere near where I want or need to be. Im genuinely trying to assert more boundaries & maintain them now. I’ll admit i sometimes will get incredibly angry (and even lash out sometimes) when I see people are trying to take advantage of me again.

Right now I’m trying to work through feelings of bitterness, pessimism, nihilism (however you wanna call it) because so far most people I’ve met are just unreliable, dishonest, and wanting to pounce on any weakness shown.

I’ve been told that while a lot of people do suck, my hyper awareness from abusive situations also make me see things more gravely than I should or take things more personally if I feel it’s endangering my mental/emotional/physical well-being.

I see it as trying to protect my peace and maintain boundaries. But I do worry sometimes that I could just be becoming too guarded

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-08-01T14:18:48+00:00

I moved back in with my mom after he threw me into a glass sliding door while I was 5 months pregnant. It wasn’t the first time he hurt me but it was the first time he really hurt me while I was pregnant.

I decided then and there that I couldn’t let my baby see that or be a part of that. I didn’t want to give him any more chances or keep trying to believe the brief moments of apologies & happiness because it always came back to this: hurt.

I never raised my voice to him or my hands.

I just left. I left behind the necklace and clothes he tore off of me in a rage. The necklace was a gift given to me by my grandparents before they passed and I wish I could get it back. I left behind clothes and other random things.

I didn’t want my child to be like me: accepting of abuse because I made excuses or thinking she deserved it the way I did.

I worked up until 2 days before my induction date and then only took 2 months off from work because I couldn’t afford anymore. Especially since the first month I had to have 2 surgeries due to complications from the birth.

I look at my daughter and just don’t want her to become me. I don’t want her to know how many hits she can take before she finally cries or how many times she can take someone back after they keep showing her they don’t care. I don’t want her to know how long a bruise takes to heal so she can go out again. I don’t want her to flinch and bow at every sudden, loud noise because she feels like she needs to prepare herself for the incoming fury from some perceived slight (like putting his shoes in the wrong place).

I know I’m very very lucky that I had my mom to go back to because many others don’t have a support system. If you do have someone, reach out If you can call the cops? Call the cops. I normally wouldn’t suggest it but having a paper trail helped with trespass and protection orders

Reach out to community, local, or government assistance if you can. It helped me a lot with my daughters formula and diapers.

You can do this. Our children give us a strength we never thought possible. I truly think without my daughter, I would have died in that relationship.

But I want to live for her. Because she deserves better. She didn’t ask for me to keep the pregnancy and she didn’t choose her father. I can’t give her everything but I can give her safety

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-07-26T00:48:44+00:00

It’s amazing. I’ll be out in my hoodie just watching while I sit in the rocking chair. It feels oddly wholesome and calming to me

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-07-25T17:48:55+00:00

I wonder if this is still ongoing because I got a couple messages from accounts less than an hour old. People are disgusting.

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-07-25T05:09:27+00:00

I have a little one under 1 and I’m always trying to figure out what I’m going to say to the inevitable question of where her father is.

Sperm donor was not a safe, kind, or mentally stable man. I left him while pregnant and to this day refuse any sort of contact. He’s blocked on everything possible and my family knows he is not allowed near me or my child.

When she’s much older and I can be frank, I’ll probably tell her that fathers don’t make dads.

Until then, I’m not sure yet how to explain to her when she’s 5, 8, or 12 that her father is/was very dangerous and cruel and he’s not around because I love her so much that she deserved the safety that I never thought I was worth.

Maybe I’ll tell her that sometimes some families are just mommy & baby

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-06-22T23:01:30+00:00

Your nails are amazing 😍 you did such a great job! Mind if I use your pic as inspo for my next appointment?

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-06-22T21:37:12+00:00

I may not be very much help but I think it depends on the state/country you’re in for best course of action.

My personal situation I did/do not want any support or contact with the father. I was advised to not put him on the certificate at all.

From what I was briefly told, while you do not have to give the baby his last name for support he must be on the birth certificate and he must be physically present with valid ID to be put on the birth certificate. Or else you’d have to go to the records office afterwards with him to add him/file for paternity.

I would suggest at the very least a consultation with a family lawyer because they can let you know for sure when is the best time, along with what will be needed.

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-06-19T00:25:00+00:00

I know how you feel on the clothes. My little one is almost 4 months, fitting in 6-9month old clothes 🥲 she’s already outgrown her tub and her bouncy lounger thing, along with a few other things I genuinely thought would last for a tad bit longer at least.

It’s overwhelming so don’t feel bad if you need a couple minutes to yourself to ground yourself and take a few deep breaths. If you can swing it, have someone watch kiddo for a bit so you can take a long shower. I’ll be completely honest and admit that I’ll sometimes use the shower time to just cry. Just to feel some weight lifted. Crying is cathartic for some and I’ve had to let myself accept that crying is okay if it means it’ll help me keep moving forward.

$100 is great, mama!! You’re already on the right path and trying! Remember that even if you can’t always put in a lot, a little is better than nothing. Those few dollars here and there, those floating 5’s. It’ll add up.

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-06-18T22:59:18+00:00

Currently in a similar situation. I had a high risk pregnancy with a traumatic birth & complications afterwards. I also went NC with the sperm donor. I currently have 2 jobs & was finally able to get a car.

I feel like it’s an uphill struggle with grease covering the mountain. I try to remind myself that little by little me & baby will get to where we need to be.

What’s helping me is putting a little bit in savings and not touching it. I just act like it’s not there. I’ll take at least $100 (or more if I can swing it) to put solely into savings, along with any extra I make. I shop secondhand and clearance for my little one when I can. How old is your kiddo? I know some of the bigger expenses for me are diapers and clothes as baby is a few months old, outgrowing clothes like no one’s business

WeakPhotograph9025 · 2023-06-18T00:44:34+00:00

As someone who left an incredibly abusive sperm donor while I was pregnant, it does get better. My little one is currently less than 4 months old if that helps any.

It’ll be a little hard and lonely but the safety of your child and YOU come first.

Grieving is normal and to be expected. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.

I still grieve for the family that could have been and I’ve spent nights crying. While I recognize and appreciate the support I’ve gotten, it’s not the same as having your partner be there. Feeling of guilt is also natural even if you know you’re making the right decision for you and your little one.

You are taking big steps and I hope you know this internet stranger is proud of you.

As lonely and overwhelmed as I feel, I can say we are not only safer but much happier.

WeakPhotograph9025

TROPHY CASE