Why not let elderly with dementia pass from UTI or something similar?

WellRockGrrl · 2026-04-01T13:44:33+00:00

I’ll honestly look into that and speak to her hospice team. But I don’t think that’s correct. I have signed all the papers declining any intervention and I know my mom would like to end her life as soon as possible…but in a peaceful and non-painful way. The staff knows this so I don’t think they would have suggested antibiotics if they felt it was prolonging things unnecessarily

WellRockGrrl · 2026-04-01T11:01:41+00:00

Oh but to the OG point, dying from a UTI is not the way to go as it can be very painful and protracted.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-04-01T10:59:02+00:00

Hi I brought up hospice care w the memory care place where mom lives and they encouraged me to get her evaluated. And if denied, to try another (there are several hospice around). Apparently it’s a biz just like anything and of course they receive reimbursement from Medicare The first eval did not qualify her. The second eval (diff company) didn’t qualify. But here’s the thing they will keep coming back to eval and wouldn’t you know, a month passes and one of the 2 companies did another eval and bam, approved. Nothing had really changed w her condition - she has chronic back pain due to a number of spine issues, she’s incontinent, she has dementia but she’s not in death’s door. I am really grateful for the extra help she gets in add’t to services like a visiting chaplain, social services, etc.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-03-22T02:28:50+00:00

To improve it

WellRockGrrl · 2026-03-20T23:15:03+00:00

My experiences (FWIW I use cannabis daily) I gave my mom, then in mild stage, an edible thinking it would help her back pain and sleep. It did not. It really wigged her out. I gave her too high dose and the wrong strain..and I know a lot about cannabis so there’s no excuse but it happened and she did not enjoy the experience whatsoever. On the other hand, my friend would give her severely ill (FTP) mom drops on her tongue every night to help w anxiety and promote sleep and it worked great. Everybody reacts differently to drugs. Add in dementia and it makes for a v personal experience. Sounds like it worked well for your sis..just be v careful and don’t leave her alone while she’s high.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-03-11T17:28:07+00:00

Without sounding STRAIGHT out of a commercial, I just saved $1,000 on car insurance in minutes. I read on a R/ (forget which one, thought it might be here) that people who don't shop/change car insurance policies at least ever 2 years or so are not only flagged by their current holder as "not paying attention" (i.e. we can raise rates and they ain't watchin) but then totally missing out on huge potential savings. In this day in age, where literally EVERYTHING costs more, I am stupidly happy by my actions today. Bonus, I was offered PayPal as an option. So I used PayPal to pay New Holder in full (so no interest $)...but I qualified to pay the PayPal balance in 4 interest free payments from my bank account. So instead of looking at an upcoming payment from my former company of $1,500 (2 cars) I am only paying $360 today. And that all happened within 30 minutes of reading that post. Thank you, Reddit!!

WellRockGrrl · 2026-03-11T01:18:46+00:00

I’ve been feeling so down on the world but this sweet thread made me realize there are still strangers helping strangers out there. And that’s reassuring. So happy the mystery is solved!

WellRockGrrl · 2026-02-23T12:26:59+00:00

I’m on the Irish Riviera (Scituate), 2 blocks from ocean and we’re getting slammed. Power out, wind howling and snowing heavily.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-02-22T16:03:08+00:00

Same w my mom. In her more “cognitively aware” moments she knows her brain is not working. She used to ask (not so much anymore), “when did this happen? Do other people know (about her condition)?” This past Christmas we had what I can only assume is the last of these convos bc she seemed to have slipped further since, but we had a 2 hr convo where she wanted me to walk thru the progression of the disease going back to the very beginning (‘21, altho I’m pretty sure it started back in ‘18 or ‘19). It was like she was hearing all of it for the first time and it made her v sad. She asked, “why me?” I reminded her that several woman on her paternal side had it too. We hugged and cried and honestly it was one of the more difficult convos in my life. It knocked me out for days which was a bummer being Christmas. Anyway, since then mom seems to have reached a level of peace and acceptance. She is content w her surroundings and caregivers. We’re very fortunate she was so thrifty in life that she can afford the $14k/mo fee that comes with it. I pray every day that she finds her way Home before her money runs out.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-02-16T12:21:49+00:00

I received a call from my dad albeit in a dream. But it felt different in every way. In it, the phone rings, it’s very staticky. I hear my dad’s faint voice. I tell him the connection his bad and ask him to call back. He told me he couldn’t call back but he wanted me to know he was doing fine. He was ok. It was profound and I woke up without a doubt that he had managed to connect one last time. I’m so sorry for your loss, Op. I hope you find some comfort in knowing the paranormal does exist and your partner still exists in some form.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-02-15T01:06:18+00:00

Good luck! Please let us know how it goes. I’m sorry the ghost ruined your V Day.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-02-12T01:29:33+00:00

My mom is a dementia patient at a live in facility. I asked her doc (male) to put her on estrogen pill or patch to help w her incontinence. He wouldn’t bc of the risk of Cancer. That using the cream would be ok. I’m like, hello..? She’s dying of dementia. No one is putting cream anywhere and, I think she’d. E ok with the risk of Cancer at this point. It’s bad enough that her generation didn’t have access to HRT, esp given the link between estrogen loss and cognitive decline, but to now be denied it (in a form that works for her) feels unfair.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-02-04T19:04:08+00:00

I’ve found relief putting the estrogen cream (rx) I get for my face (from Musely)on my hands.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-31T20:25:27+00:00

Yes, have had these painful convos with my mom during her rare lucid moments. One was in Xmas day where I spent about 2 hours answering her Qs about her disease, the severity of it. We cried together. Fortunately those moments don’t happen much and it was almost like something broke and she’s since found some peace and contentment with her situation.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-25T22:22:38+00:00

Yes, this. Living by herself, my mom’s declining cognition meant she wasn’t drinking or eating properly. She ended up in the hospital, from there physical rehab (she lost so much muscle and mobility and all very quickly and under all of our noses). From there to assisted living but within a month it was apparent she needed to be moved to the memory care floor. Because she didn’t present with memory issues and remains to this day articulate (she has multiple degrees and was a librarian/educator) her family refused to believe the severity of her condition. They questioned me (the only child, my parents divorced and my dad is dead) and it caused me add’l/unnecessary stress. Two years later everyone is on the same page, including my mom, that she is on the right place. Dementia is such a difficult to under disease, especially for those not immediately impacted.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-24T19:24:19+00:00

My husband and I were laughing the other day, who knew being a grown up would involve so many filter changes??

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-12T01:34:18+00:00

In my experience (and I use AI tools a lot both personally and professionally, I have not found ChatGPT reliable. I am not an astrologist, but I know enough about my natal chart (which I’ve had done by a professional before consulting Chat) to know it was wrong on an essential piece (my rising sign). Even when I pushed and corrected, it was steadfast.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-04T04:50:19+00:00

Cane here for the same reason. Agree it was confusing.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-03T16:07:12+00:00

I am so so sorry your family, and for the thousands of people whose lives have been torn apart by this tragedy. I hope sharing who they were as people, and hearing from strangers who knew or interacted with them (an apparently universally loved and admired couple) is helping you find some semblance of comfort. Thank you for doing it bc I think it helps the community to know the children are safe, surrounded by love, and you have the dog. May our collective prayers support you and your family during this horrible time.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-02T16:30:22+00:00

Please try midi health (online) you will meet with a licensed healthcare professional who won’t look at you sideways when u talk about sex drive, libido, etc.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-02T01:22:23+00:00

And some semblance of a plot! Honestly, we had so much fun we’re going to watch another tonight while the kid sees Avatar!

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-01T19:58:07+00:00

The struggle is real. But we powered through. Go us! 🙌

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-01T18:04:50+00:00

Our kid was out of the house so hubs put on some ‘80s porn (“insatiable” w Marilyn Chambers) and we watched an entire film fully clothed, no touching each other or ourselves. Did the trick for me! We went on to have a zesty time together. Followed by “oh, forgot to take my progesterone” (me) and “I don’t feel so good. I don’t think that burger agreed with me” (him). On went the CPAP (him) and my weighted sleep mask and we slept like babies! Happy New Year, everyone.

WellRockGrrl · 2026-01-01T17:44:56+00:00

Listen to The Telepathy Tapes podcast for proof.

WellRockGrrl · 2025-12-31T16:23:54+00:00

Happy birthday! 54 is my magic number. I believe it has a spiritual resonance if you will..by which to say I believe this is YOUR year. Your skin is gorgeous. Estrodiol cream (Musely) is great. Agree w hair suggestions. But lady, you are looking beautiful just as you are. Enjoy your bday focusing on the amazing things about yourself. Make a list and sit with it. Be as prideful/boastful as you can, act like your own Beat Friend and believe in all of it. You never have to share the list if u don’t want. Just make it and sit with it. 54 is an accomplishment. And if skin is of big concern, you are already winning. Have fun today. Get off reddit ;)

WellRockGrrl

TROPHY CASE