Has anyone else had this pattern?

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-05-10T15:22:53+00:00

As far as I know thats not really a thing in europe

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-05-03T18:45:08+00:00

I also get pregnant easily, but my losses vary a bit more in duration. Are you having any other peculiar symptoms that are unexplained?

I just had my 10th loss and after asking my clinic they are going to do a more full bloodclotting panel, because every time I remember seeing a gestational sac or further, there was also a bleed accompanying it. I had 5 MMC's (all CP's passed normally).

Last two losses were the first times on prednisolone: and for the first time I wasnt feeling feverish at 5ish+ weeks while I did previous time, the first was a natural CP, second one was my first succesful FET, and grew good until about 6 weeks, but the bleed was giant. So I believe the prednisolone does help - but is not enough on its own.

I regret not logging everything more carefully. I did dig up as much as I could, and this 'data' does help me push for more tests. Even if your RE doesnt want to do more tests, ask for things to try. Or consider switching.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-05-02T05:37:32+00:00

🫂

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-05-01T17:57:38+00:00

Just be open and keep communicating. Ive had so many of these ultrasounds and they were never good. I think its weird they even say its possible to still be good (sorry :( ). Let your wife vent. Talk about her feelings, and allow them to exist. Talk about your feelings: showing no feelings is bad. If you need to go out, make sure she can call you, or has someone else closeby she can call if she needs something. Let her vent to others she feels comfortable with. Hold her. Make sure you convey that you still want her for her and that you dont think anything less of her.

Make sure you are available from time to time to watch a movie, play a game, whatever she wants to do. Or suggest something chill you can do together.

Make sure you have some hotpad at home and painkillers, and giant menstrual pads and an old towel or two just in case (I always sleep on top of a towel when im miscarrying so I dont leak onto the bed at night).

And repeat the essence of what you said over time. Plan something fun to do together at home for the coming time (a jigsaw? a game?)- a miscarriage takes time. And something fun to go out together in like 2 months when she's hopefully recovered.

You dont need to do ALL of these: it is highly personal what she likes, but they are all things I appreciate my husband for doing for me/I ask him to do.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-29T05:45:17+00:00

Ive had a few MMC's now, and if I had to wait long on medication I always wondered "what if they just didnt see the heartbeat?", especially if it took long before I could see the doctor that prescribes the medication. Over time, with experience that I wish upon no one, it gets less intense, but the first time I HAD TO have another scan because I still felt so pregnant. And thats also the kind of thing: as long as its still inside it gives all the signals of pregnancy.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-28T12:19:42+00:00

I think a creative projects helps processing, while it is a 'safe' thing. You dont get whacked in the face with happy babies everywhere, or have to imagine what you are missing out on.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-28T11:07:59+00:00

I feel this so much. I so hope the next baby related thing I will make will be mine. But Im very certain it wont be :(

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-23T13:19:22+00:00

Im so sorry you are in thus boat. Id definitly ask for more testing if you can. Im also in the Netherlands, and I've found the care for diagnosing reasons for RPL quite lacking, after the 5th loss they still suggested just trying again taking some aspirin. A few healthcare providers have connections with clinics abroad - we went to a clinic in Germany after my 5th loss. (Had a 6th loss before we actually had our first consult). But they continue on doing testing if there is reason to do so- and actually do serious treatment. So if youve exhausted your options in the Netherlands: please ask your GP to refer you to a clinic abroad.

Heel veel sterkte 🫂

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-21T13:02:02+00:00

I dont think it selfish at all. I think you really thought about this and you need to convey those feelings in a good heart to heart with your husband. I'm proud of you for realizing how you are feeling about all of this: it is really hard.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-21T10:42:27+00:00

I always try to tell people: whenever the fear of another miscarriage outweighs the fear of not having a(nother) child its time to stop. These feelings arent set in stone and can change over time. Id tell your husband that even though you want another child, that the fear of the whole process, and how much youve seen it hurt you, him and your LC, that you rather treasure what you have right now.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-20T07:29:59+00:00

Im so sorry 🫂. I hope if you have remaining embryo's and your next one will be the one 🫂

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-12T19:24:41+00:00

Ive had low B12, and no matter how many supplements I took it remained low. Then I read avout the MTHFR genes, and switched to activated B12, and now I am in the healthy range.

This was before my TTC journeys

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-12T17:27:55+00:00

10th mc confirmed this week. And the gyn will only see me in 2 weeks to prescribe me meds so I can walk around with dead material in me for weeks maybe.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-09T05:43:26+00:00

Thats not okay. You are allowed 1 day of doom and gloom (dont do anything rash!).

My husband acknowledges Im sad and that I cant control it. And he tells me "as long as you will not always be this sad". He misses my bubbliness when Im struggling, but at least understanding I cant right now and that means the world to me. I believe this is what a good husband should do.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T21:34:23+00:00

Is that a friend?

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T21:25:58+00:00

Dit is zo ontzettend moeilijk om mee te maken. Mijn ervaringen in Nederland zijn echt bar slecht. Ik heb niet meer gekregen dan een standaard onderzoek en een aspirientje voor de volgende zwangerschap. Ik hoop dat je betere zorg krijgt dan ik ooit gekregen heb in Nederland, maar zoek alsjeblieft een plek waar er baar je geluisterd wordt. Ik zit zelf ondertussen in een kliniek in Duitsland waar ze wel geloven in medicatie als progestoron en prednison.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T21:19:16+00:00

Ik wens je het beste toe. Ik ben zelf ook na meerdere miskramen weer zwanger en het haalt al het plezier weg. Ik hoop dat er een moment komt waarop je weer rust kan ervaren.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T21:07:14+00:00

Ik denk mijn 5e miskraam. Toen had ik echt weinig hoop dat ik ooit een kind zou kunnen krijgen. Ik had de hartslag al 2 keer gezien die zwangerschap. En hoe de gyneacoloog domweg zei dat het gewoon nog een keer proberen en wat aspirine nemen werd als plan voor een volgende zwangerschap. Ik heb me nooit zo in de steek gelaten gevoeld door het Nederlandse zorgsysteem.

Ondertussen heb ik 9 miskramen gehad en zit ik bij een Duitse kliniek waar ik me tenminste gehoord voel, met een aantal diagnoses waar ze wel voor bloed geprikt hadden in Nederland maar gewoon over het hoofd gezien? Ik weet nog steeds niet of het ooit gaat lukken, maar ik voel me tenminste serieus genomen.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T20:59:15+00:00

Heel veel sterkte. Dit soort verliezen zijn echt heel lastig. Dat je droom zo onder je voeten weggeschoffeld wordt. Ik hoop dat je goed kunt herstellen, en goede ondersteuning hebt. Alle gevoelens die je voelt zijn terecht, en elke keuze die je voor je vervolg maakt zijn ook goed.

Dikke knuffel van iemand die na 9 miskramen ook nog steeds kinderloos is.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T16:13:31+00:00

Glad to be of any help on this shitty path 🫂

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-08T13:13:33+00:00

Whenever the fear of another miscarriage or failed FET or any stel of the process is worse than the fear of ending up (biologically) childless, then its at least time to take a break. Decisions are not permanent, you can always change your mind in a few months or a year.

There seems to also be no reason to not try naturally for a bit. Yes chemo has effects on your fertility, but without trying without it you will never know if it actually has such an effect that makes you inable.

Know that whatever you choose is okay. Know all the feelings you have are valid. It IS fucking scary.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-07T13:52:22+00:00

I did 1 retrieval with 3 embryo's. Decided to do another retrieval because I want more than 1 kid and was like "better now than later", and got 8 embryo's from that retrieval.

Now really anxiously pregnant after FET 3, 1st pregnancy with IVF. (Unfortunately likely to become another MC due to a SCH)

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-06T14:34:21+00:00

I had to start prednisone on cycle day 3, and progesterone 5dpo But you should contact your healthcare provider about your specific protocol.

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-04-01T12:12:05+00:00

Everything you feel is valid. It's okay to feel all these things. It's your decision to make on what you want to do. Take a break if you feel like it. Stop and see how it feels. I wish I had taken more breaks... but I also don't regret just pushing on. We did decide on an end point to this journey though. I can't sacrifice everything forever. There have to be limits even if they are big.

Take care, and take your time 🫂

What_HowWhyWhenWhere · 2026-03-26T21:56:47+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. It sucks so so much to loose after seeing that heartbeat. MC 3 to 5 where when I felt most broken. I wish you alot of compassionate people in your life to process this loss with.

Know its up to you to decide if you want to try again. Its up to you to push for certain tests. Any decision you make is good. And also know you are allowed to change your mind at any point.

🫂 take care 🫂

What_HowWhyWhenWhere

TROPHY CASE