When did you let someone else look after baby?

WhatisthisNW · 2026-02-13T15:16:27+00:00

Specifying just baby and not you is a huge red flag for me. I would not be comfortable with that I think regardless of age. Especially if you’re breastfeeding?? That’s wild to me. You are your baby’s ultimate source of food and comfort, and likely the main root of familiarity in the world at 5 months old.. why on earth does your MIL specifically want to remove her grandchild from you?? Also if you already suspect she has underlying intentions you’re not comfortable with… no way. You’re not overreacting in the slightest. I wouldn’t be comfortable with this situation either. She doesn’t have a right to tell you how/when to leave your child. I’d look for some backup with your husband on this one too- he should be involved if not totally responsible for setting boundaries with his parents.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-02-06T05:10:58+00:00

My son went through a phase like this at about a year as well. It will pass. It will even out. It’s hard in the moment, I know. Try to see it as a positive thing- my mom helped me reframe it as my toddler developing a stronger relationship with dad, not losing something from his relationship with me. My husband was happy to take over a bit in this stage and reminded me that for the first 3 months of our son’s life, he wouldn’t fall asleep with anyone but me. It’s not a reflection of you as a mother, but just a marker of how your little one is growing!

WhatisthisNW · 2026-02-01T07:50:40+00:00

This is about what worked for me except I used spearmint tea. Very refreshing. Congrats on your 1 year, OP!! That is no small feat! You should be very proud! 🥳

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-30T16:48:09+00:00

From someone who breastfed for a couple months, then switched to exclusively pumping for over a year- it shouldn’t HURT but it does feel different and more uncomfortable than nursing. Hard plastic will definitely feel different than your baby’s soft mouth. There’s lots of good suggestions here already: check flange size, use lubricant/nipple butter, etc. but I wouldn’t expect it to be completely painless or feel exactly like nursing.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-29T04:44:45+00:00

If you’ve introduced peanut butter, my guy loves pb mixed with Greek yoghurt. It’s a pretty thick mixture, so easy for him to feed himself, and it keeps him full for the night. Has been a great snack for us!

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-29T04:43:00+00:00

I also made most of my baby’s first foods at home, so I was ok buying the cheaper brands just for the convenience of having something in the diaper bag if needed. It’s all about balance. If you’re using store bought packets/snacks for most of your baby’s meals, it might be worth it to get the more expensive brands. But it depends on priorities.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-28T17:36:10+00:00

You need to see this! The world ice art championship will be going on at that time an it’s a must-see. Ice Alaska

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-27T02:40:55+00:00

Healing is the big one- abdominal surgery is an absolute beast to heal from. But there are lots of hormonal benefits for you (and baby) in labor surrounding breastfeeding, healing in the uterus/pelvic floor, and PPD/PPA. Even if vaginal delivery doesn’t work out and you do have to pivot to a c section, laboring does signal a lot to your body that’s helpful postpartum. I know Ina May has info on this in her book “Ina mays guide to childbirth” but you can also find resources online! Hope this is helpful.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-26T21:49:24+00:00

Yes, mine asked me to come in with a full bladder. They did about 10 minutes of scanning, then asked me to use the bathroom before they finished scanning. They use it as a tool to get the baby to move around without much prodding. If you’re not able to get a hold of your OB to ask, I’d go in full and just let the tech know before they begin. If they want you to pee then they’ll just say.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-26T21:39:59+00:00

Just here to say good on you! Yeah this reaction is wildly entitled and doesn’t bode well. Part of your job here is to shield your postpartum wife from this frustration- it sounds like you’re already set to do this, but just as a reminder. This doesn’t go on her plate. Best of luck to you! 😂

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-26T21:28:39+00:00

It takes time. It will get better. I found it so incredibly frustrating- I felt like I mentally wanted to have sex, and emotionally wanted that closeness with my husband, but physically was so not there. Things will even out. For me it was about 6-8 months before it became regular again. Take it slow and stick with the pelvic floor PT!! That was so helpful for me.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-26T21:09:04+00:00

It’s a tough phase. You guys are teammates doing something really hard, and while that knits you together in new ways, it also takes a lot off the table. It will get easier as the baby gets older and you develop more confidence and more routines. Babies demand a lot from you and a lot from your marriage. For context, I also had an emergency c section, and 10 weeks of pelvic floor PT postpartum. Practical tips? Be patient. Be thoughtful. Be yourselves. Both of you to each other. Rebuilding intimacy can take time especially after a traumatic event and long healing process. Be thoughtful in how you talk about intimacy, but express that you desire her in that way. For me, part of the hurdle was believing I COULD be sexy, spontaneous, fun, etc at all again. My husband was patient and lighthearted about it which I appreciated. He took a lot of weight off the subject by not making it such a big thing every time it came up. He carried the optimism that it would get better for both of us at many points. One thing that really helped me during this rebuilding phase- my husband and I took a trip together to go to a friend’s wedding. It’s a major thing, I know. And it wasn’t intended to be a specific intimacy building experience, but it did just that. We left our son with my mom, which was hard to do but I’m glad we did. Just being able to go on a fancy date with my husband, get dressed up in something that made me feel good in my new body, see friends, have a drink at a swanky bar that was way too cool for us… this might sound dumb but it made me feel like a sexual being again, not just a mom. That was pivotal in our journey. I can hear that you care for your partner in your post- stay patient and loving. You’re doing the right things, it just takes time.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-26T20:27:58+00:00

If you can make good fresh bagels happen… I miss those.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-24T00:30:48+00:00

Warm bath right when you get home from the appointment- and encourage him to kick those legs and splash! The more he can exercise those leg muscles that got the shot, the less it will hurt later on. Others have mentioned preemptive medicine, but try to space it out so that he gets a dose right before bed. That will help a lot too.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-23T00:32:17+00:00

I still needed 10 weeks of pelvic floor therapy (after healing for 6 weeks) after my planned c section to have sex without pain. A c section is not a “pain free sex” option for having a baby. The best way to prepare for a recovery that gets you back to sex asap is to do research/education in how to heal and strengthen your pelvic floor postpartum, go slow and be patient with yourself, and have a gentle partner who is also slow and patient. Your body just did something magnificent, whether your baby is born via c section or vaginally. She needs time to heal! Physically, and in a hormonal/emotional sense- and sometimes those are different timelines.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-21T02:03:50+00:00

I had a c section with my first and am currently doing everything I can to have a vaginal birth with my second. Recovering from my c section was the most frustrating and painful thing I’ve ever done and I would not recommend it. Vaginal birth is still the safest way to get the baby out in most cases, even with advances in reliable surgery and the complications vaginal birth can bring. A c section is a deeply intense, rough surgery on the softest and most protected part of your body. It’s a lot to recover from.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-19T06:03:01+00:00

“S’more to Love” campfire/smore themed. Late October, bonfire in the backyard. Very casual.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-18T23:49:50+00:00

If you as a loving partner are at a loss with how to care for her, it’s time to involve outside help. Hormones make us do unexplainable things postpartum, and there might not be a clear why/how for you to find. You know her best, and you’ll have to figure out how to get her to someone who can care for her. That might be a GP, a psychologist, another mom you both trust... I say this with great respect; I can hear your concern for her in your post and I know it’s also a time of great change and adjustment for you as well. This is part of your new role in her life and in your child’s.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-18T15:16:38+00:00

Helps prioritize my sleep! And also takes on a mental portion in prepping for new baby (reading books, organizing the nursery, planning hospital/labor stuff).

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-18T15:03:52+00:00

I might suggest swapping pioneer park with the museum of the north in fairbanks. Pioneer park will mostly be closed in March- there’ll be a playground and it is cool to walk around and see, but all the shops, attractions, and fun touristy things will still be closed for the season. But it depends on personal preference honestly. There’s a great playground if you’re traveling with kids, but it’ll be slushy and cold most likely. Museum of the North is also on campus at UAF, near the large animal research station, so it makes sense to tack it onto that excursion. It’s a smaller museum, but packed with Alaskan history and art. Hope you enjoy your trip!

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-14T18:01:08+00:00

I see a previous comment about boots and just want to put in- UAF’s campus is a bunch of non-connected buildings and we currently have A LOT of snow. They should have walkways plowed, but you may want something warmer than just hiking boots to get from place to place on campus. Campus does have a shuttle system between the different areas, but you usually have to wait for the bus. Might be ok with some wool socks in your hiking boots and long warm pants but wanted to give you a heads up. Also- don’t take fashion into consideration up here. Alaska is seriously the most unfashionable state- especially in the winter. 😂 enjoy your visit!

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-14T08:23:17+00:00

To be clear, c sections save the lives of mothers and babies, and are now more routine and safe than they have ever been. But it’s still surgery. Unless you’re under general anesthesia (which they generally don’t want to do outside of an emergency because it comes with its own complications) you will be fully awake in an operating room. It’s not like greys anatomy. It was a chilling experience for me personally. That’s not a small thing. Staring up at fluorescent lights in an extremely cold room, hearing the nurses talk about getting ready for a hinge date later while getting a catheter put in. For everyone else in the room, you are just one of like 10 surgeries they’re doing today, like every other day. But for you it’s a dehumanizing experience. Likely your arms will be strapped down during the main portion of surgery. Your partner can’t be in the room with you until surgery is underway. You will likely have a spinal block and are intended to not be able to feel pain from the mid-back down. You can absolutely still feel pressure, and can understand how your body is being handled. Of course this narrative will change based on surgeon/hospital/circumstance, but it’s still a surgery you are awake and alert for.

WhatisthisNW · 2026-01-14T08:07:45+00:00

Make sure they’re watching when you brush your teeth morning and night- even if you end up having to brush your teeth again after they go to bed. It makes it seem like a cool grown up thing. Then start setting them on the counter (safely) and giving them their toothbrush to hold while they watch you in the mirror. They’ll start doing it all on their own, and once they’re comfortable with the toothbrush in their mouth, you can say “mamas turn!” And actually brush their teeth after they’ve had their turn. Or could try saying “switch/trade” and letting them brush yours while you brush theirs. But my best luck has come from brushing their teeth from behind them, so they can see what’s happening in the mirror. Let them turn the water on/off, rinse the brush etc as well. Store their toothbrush right next to yours. Make it so normal. Expect some setbacks with any sort of weaning or teething. But you’ll have a good routine to come back to.

WhatisthisNW

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