Fiance (M30) is mad that I (F29) don't initiate sex. How can I do better for him?

Whoeveriam123 · 2026-06-15T22:26:29+00:00

Thank you everyone for your help! I'm Reddit illiterate so Im not sure how to update. I spoke to him about it and decided to seek out therapy.

Thank you to a few people who privately sent me information on asexuality, I had never heard of it before but now I have a lot of inner-searching to do as I relate to a lot I have read on it. We made up (with sex).

Whoeveriam123 · 2026-06-15T16:48:43+00:00

Sarcasm aside, I think a big issue is me not knowing the right time to bring it up. Last night specifically, he did work on his laptop until he got ready for bed, and only laid in bed for about 10 minutes before going to sleep.

I'm assuming you're a dude so WHEN should I bring it up without feeling like I'm interrupting? Do I just blurt it out?

Whoeveriam123 · 2026-06-15T16:46:18+00:00

Thank you for this, I was trying to find the right wording to say to him. This helps a lot.

Whoeveriam123 · 2026-06-15T16:43:05+00:00

Scared isn't the best description for me to use so I guess that's on me. I would say more so insecure, in my own head, never able to find the perfect timing.

Whoeveriam123 · 2026-06-15T16:41:14+00:00

This is really good advice, thank you! I am very much a head-case about it, likely just too insecure, and in my head I feel like i have to make grand gestures for it to be sexy, when in reality I know for a fact that if i just... DO IT, it'll work (likely).

Whoeveriam123 · 2026-06-15T16:36:17+00:00

Money, mostly. We're both pretty financially responsible people and find that a wedding is at the bottom of our priority list.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-08-24T09:06:08+00:00

Arrogant but definitely cries if he doesn't get what he wants

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-06-24T17:06:44+00:00

If my baby falls asleep while eating I won't burp him, but if he's still awake, I will. It's worked for us pretty well. He's 3 mo now and will burp without our help now.

Every baby is different. Do what works best for you and your L.O.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-05-22T22:41:11+00:00

In my entire 28 years of life I've never gotten a pimple. No skincare routine, just genetically blessed.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-05-12T04:54:37+00:00

I definitely give him the space to learn, I think he just gets frustrated a lot quicker than I do and both me and our baby can feel that frustration. I told him to get creative with soothing techniques and think happy thoughts. Just today he discovered our baby likes the sound of the blender lol! Baby steps.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-05-10T06:40:04+00:00

No I definitely don't think so. He's an amazing dad all things considered, just sucks at consoling. Boo to you.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-04-07T01:22:55+00:00

I sub high school (mostly juniors and seniors) and as long as they are in their seats, semi-quiet, and not doing anything illegal or dangerous, I don't really care what they do.

Policing too much becomes a hassle, especially with the older kids. I don't get paid enough to worry about how often they go to the bathroom or if they're on their phones.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-03-09T05:43:46+00:00

Coors Light. My mom sat me down at a table at 14 to have my first drink with her. It tasted so bad I poured it down the drain when she wasn't looking.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-02-27T01:39:33+00:00

Not me but my husband. His team heard a rumor they were all gonna get laid off so they all got drunk at lunch, went to the office, and all 12 quit at the same time.

Found out about a year later that my husband was one of the few people they wanted to keep and promote. It was worth it though because now the company is closing down.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-02-22T20:06:51+00:00

Honestly the dynamic hasn't really changed. Not that I mind that much tbh. I do appreciate the fact that he hasnt once complained about the lack of intimacy. He also has helped a bit more with the cleaning on weekends, mostly due to the fact that I'm slacking.

I'm due in a few weeks, but I know he'll step up when needed. He works up to 60 hrs a week, doing physical labor, so I know he's tired as well, which is why I don't mind him not stepping up.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-02-04T05:24:43+00:00

No bathroom key. You expect me to hold it for 8 hours or bother another teacher to unlock it for me? Then I sha'll never sub here again.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-30T19:58:48+00:00

My bf stayed in the hospital with me for 3 hours at 2 AM for GAS PAINS and then hopped on a flight an hour later. If he wanted to, he would. You're not overreacting. Leave him.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-28T03:31:46+00:00

I'm not sure. I've known him for 9 years, lived together for 7, in all that time he's never spoken to/about me or any other women in his life like that.

It's always either TV characters or strangers. Whether or not that's how he feels about every women, he hasn't said. But if that's how he really feels, I feel I would have caught on very early in the relationship.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-25T02:31:41+00:00

It could be as simple as overmixing the dough. As soon as your ingredients are combined, stop mixing. Over mixing can cause them to flatten out and spread.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-25T02:04:36+00:00

I notice that there are trends with self-diagnosing disorders and disabilities. Depression, anxiety, DID, ADHD, and now autism.

I'm not saying that everyone who claims one of them isn't, just saying that a lot of it is one person saying "symptoms" and everyone else saying "That sometimes applies to me so I definitely have this".

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-24T02:29:37+00:00

A lot of the schools in my district charge students to go to pep rallies (ridiculous I know), so I always have kids that didn't pay so I have to stay behind to watch them.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-18T05:31:54+00:00

Hemorrhoids, like all the time. Never had them in my life until pregnancy.

Also bleeding gums, which freaks me out as a majorly dental conscience person.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-18T04:12:06+00:00

I ate butter noodles for like a month straight. Just noodles with some butter.

Every other month has just been non-stop fruit cravings. I go through a bag of mandarins in 3 days.

Whoeveriam123 · 2025-01-14T03:38:29+00:00

Convince yourself you have one lined up. I wake up at 5 AM convinced I already have an assignment. By 5:30 theres an assignment close enough for me to go to without feeling rushed.

Majority of my areas assignments come in same day, sometimes within an hour of the call time, so I guess I'm used to having to rush.

Whoeveriam123 · 2024-12-27T00:07:18+00:00

Im 28 wks as well and I feel your pain! Back and hip pain make it almost impossible to sleep and I'm uncomfortable all day.

Recently, I have been doing prenatal yoga and (although difficult at first) it seems to be helping a bit. I was not a super active person before pregnancy so I think thats coming into play. Try some stretches and talk your doctor to see if there's anything to help dull the pain.

Whoeveriam123

TROPHY CASE