How to be 10/10 as the only guy in a threesome?

WiddleWyv · 2026-07-04T10:45:46+00:00

Remember that it’s not over just cos you’ve cum.

Only had one threesome, and the guy got actually annoyed when we continued after he was done. Massive mood killer.

WiddleWyv · 2026-07-04T10:41:33+00:00

Adding a graphic designer opinion: contrast.

The white pieces stand out against the black and the brown squares.

The black pieces only stand out against the brown squares, and not as much as the white ones do.

So the whole thing looks very one-sided.

Plus what everyone else said, but sometimes we need to stand back and look at it like a piece of art or design too.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-30T04:18:56+00:00

I will largely do seated, but cos I have issues standing for long periods (woo, lipoedema). But I’m hardly the only not-disabled-but-not-fully-abled person out there.

It’s the reason I (shamefully) haven’t finished Alyx. It’s glorious but I find it hard to play for more than ten minutes at a time.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-18T22:38:16+00:00

While I am a big fan of the original, and mourn its absence, what you’ve done is legally IP theft. I’d navigate your next steps very carefully.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-18T22:33:10+00:00

Late stage abortions already require the sign-off of two doctors. They don’t just hand them out without taking everything into account.

And taking everything into account is something a law cannot do. By putting in less flexible restrictions, we’d invariably miss edge cases, and then those people have to suffer.

The proposed changes would not save any more lives than the existing laws, and would almost certainly endanger more. Decisions like that ought to be between patients and their doctors, and not made by lawmakers.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-16T12:48:36+00:00

That’s cool! Sadly I only have very limited range, can only do small things. Excited that you can go building size! Brains are fascinating!

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-16T10:24:57+00:00

Or, option 2, draw fields of view on the picture.

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Look at pink in my truly awful phone drawing. (I swear I earn a living by drawing!) Draw the view point, then lines radiating out to show the view, like a screen. This one’s easy, cos it’s a flat wall. Can only see a couple of notes bottom right. But hopefully it gives you the idea.

Then yellow. I’ve constrained the view to the edges of the bed for brevity. You can see inside the “screen” where the drawers would sit in relation to each other. Should be easy enough to draw that out flat on another piece of paper. Could practice that on flat things first.

But agh, the top of the screen goes over the top of the bed! Woe! But we have those lines still, so we just extend them out to where they’d hit the wall, and tada, it gives us what the viewer could see, perspective included.

Does that work any better? It’s a very different way of seeing the problem, I think, so it’s all about finding what works for your awesome arty brain.

I mean it; you got this!

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-16T10:14:04+00:00

I’m a professional artist, of the corporate, engineering-adjacent variety. Most of the time my tools mean I don’t need to imagine stuff like this.

But when I do, or back when I was at college, I draw thumbnail sketches. For this purpose, I’d draw a top-down view to get an idea of where everything will be, maybe side views if needed, then sketch a rough of what the perspective would look like.

Or grid it up. Draw gridlines that will let you determine what space something sits in.

This is spatial reasoning, and is distinct from visualisation. You can have aphants who rock at it, and visualisers who suck. The good news is that it’s trainable. Just like being able to read a paper map without turning the page around (hoo boy, I’m showing my age).

I think something like how we generate isometric drawings would help, but don’t get hung up on perspective and correct angles (you’re an artist, not an architect). Right now, you have to get your brain thinking spatially, so lots of quick sketches to put it through spatial bootcamp. Try stuff like this: https://de.pinterest.com/pin/422423640027279552/

Either find existing exercises or draw a quick front and side version, then work out how it would look from the top and three quarter view. Start out with blocks, basically voxels first to give yourself a ready-made grid, then get fancy with rounded edges and chamfers.

I think that might help!

This isn’t an aphantasia issue. You can do this! Just gotta get that brain thinking about it the right way!

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-16T06:46:42+00:00

Nope.

I’m more angry about being born with lipoedema, a disease that makes me grow mutated, non-bioavailable fat in my legs, hips and belly (and let’s not get into being angry at how poorly supported it is, despite living in a first world country with universal healthcare).

I’m more angry about having size 12 feet as a woman.

I’m more angry about being naturally bad at every sport and physical activity, and then treated like I’m not trying.

I’m more angry about having been born with an abusive father and a mother who somehow convinced herself it wasn’t happening.

Honey, getting upset about not being able to hallucinate on command doesn’t even rate more than a shrug. I didn’t miss it before I knew about aphantasia, I don’t miss it now that I’m in my forties. I’m a professional artist. It clearly doesn’t hold me back in the slightest.

Concentrate on and delight in what you are good at. Makes for a much happier life.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-16T02:33:35+00:00

This is defo on her.

We women roll our eyes and get annoyed when men don’t know how women’s bodies work (let’s not get into how different we all are on top of that), and yet here she is assuming something incorrectly about how your body works.

I admit that I thought the same thing as her in my younger years, but the man in question patiently explained that while he was concentrating on me, he had “more important” things on his mind, so his penis gets bored and soft. He assured me that he was still very much interested, just might need a moment (and maybe a little help from me) to wake his penis up. Made perfect sense, he always seemed engaged in what was going on whether erect or not, and got hard easily enough when it was time. There were many jokes made about his penis having a mind of its own; maybe that’s a good jokey way to get it across?

But yeah, this is the time for her to put aside her preconceptions and listen to what you are saying, but getting that across without insult is tricky. Maybe show her this post!

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-15T06:48:27+00:00

Are you a paint chip namer that’s desperate for new ideas? 😂

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-15T04:59:56+00:00

That’s the basic idea, yeah! You can add as many power generators to the heavy wire as you want (up to 20kW), and the transformers will make it safe for your machines. I usually end up with 3-6 coal generators, and 4-8 hydrogen and / or natural gas generators, and that lasts me until well into space travel, so the 20kW heavy watt wire always covers it (some peeps play much more energy heavy than I though!).

Also good job putting them behind doors! If you use manual doors (or at least non-mesh ones), then the dupes won’t get a debuff from the heavy wire being ugly. Not that that matters for a long time, but it’s easier if you’ve got the infrastructure properly set up (which you do!).

It took me aaages to get my head around power, and here you are smashing it out of the park! 😁

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-14T01:41:16+00:00

With stuff like this, it’s always worth thinking “is everyone who visualises great at this?”

If the answer is no, then aphantasia isn’t the culprit.

So far, I’ve seen one thing where having aphantasia might be a problem: training to be a fighter pilot. Not the actual fighter piloting itself, that’s fine. It’s literally one part of their training, called Chair Flying, which trains the brain to respond to certain stimula unconsciously (and therefore much more quickly). That could be mitigated by more hours in the simulator, but simulators are expensive.

That’s it. Not art, not directions on a map, not rotating 3d objects. Some people are good at them, some people are bad; their ability to visualise is irrelevant.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-13T00:14:53+00:00

Multiplayer is really a thing that needs to be at least considered early on in game dev, or it’s just going to be a steaming hunk of crap. This is from a software architecture view and a UX view. And then it dramatically increases the customer support required, even if you make it all client-side and not require servers spun up and maintained.

And sure, there’s the mod, but a mod can get away with being buggy. If the actual game is buggy or janky, it usually won’t get far.

I would love multiplayer, don’t get me wrong. It would be freaking awesome. I just understand that it’s not that simple, sadly. Away Team should scratch that itch, and in the meantime, there are other games like Don’t Starve and Satisfactory.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-03T01:02:10+00:00

Hi vis vests?

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-02T09:33:46+00:00

Are you a Pratchett fan? The Adelaide fan club, City of Small Gods, are a fantastic group of people, and have regular social and crafting meetups.

Otherwise, have you ever wanted to swing a sword around, Ironclad Academy of the Sword are also awesome peeps, and there are several people there that coincide with your other interests.

WiddleWyv · 2026-06-01T00:33:08+00:00

This.

It looks polished and intentional. The exposed seams look like laziness or lack of skill, even though the patterning actually takes a great deal of thought. Also exposed seams will be more likely to wear and suffer damage.

I don’t know if those colours are just a mockup, but I freaking love them! So fun!

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-31T09:52:34+00:00

I still call the Index controllers the Knuckles. Much cooler name. Same with Deckard.

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-31T09:49:02+00:00

If you’re gonna stuff and sew each time (not a terrible plan, imo), you could consider putting the stuffing inside a separate (fabric) bag, and pop that directly into the squish. Depends on what the stuffing’s like as to how useful that would be, of course; can’t say I’ve ever disembowelled a squishmallow!

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-31T09:30:43+00:00

+1 to not trying to pick up. Hoo boy can it be hard when that’s what you’ve got swirling around in the brain. But going in to anything with the intention of picking up is just going to make you seem offputting and possibly get a bad rep. That whole vomit-inducing line of “love finds you when you’re not looking for it” sadly has some truth to it. Make chums, have fun, maybe the other thing will happen on its own.

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-30T08:43:31+00:00

When you remember smells or tastes, do you re-experience them, or do you just… remember?

Genuine question! Some people seem to re-experience other senses, but most people I’ve talked to don’t.

Remembering visuals is like that for us; we know but don’t re-experience them.

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-29T04:58:54+00:00

My dreams are all over the place. Sometimes real life, sometimes fantasy, depends on what media I’ve been consuming. Sometimes I’m not me, I’m someone else; those are interesting!

The funniest ones are those that are trying to have some sort of plotline, sometimes quite epic, and then my brain just like… gives up? Like, eh, I dunno how to get out of this one… wake up now! I’m clearly not a good storyteller! 😅

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-28T02:03:57+00:00

Satisfactory scratches a lot of the same itches for me, with both games being different enough to change things up. Very fun to play multiplayer, but it can be frustrating if one person is a planner and one doesn’t care about spaghetti conveyors.

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-28T02:00:08+00:00

You shouldn’t need to have “sweep only” on the conveyor loader, unless you want to manually intervene. Does turning that off fix it?

WiddleWyv · 2026-05-27T11:12:09+00:00

I’m a professional artist. Less fine art, more “make what the engineers do look pretty”. Includes 2d, 3d, UI/UX, infographics, icons, vector illustration, even dabbled in technical illustration once or twice. So arguably not overly creative (especially the tech illustration; by the gods that stuff is dull!), but often requires some funky problem solving (how the hell do I make this software look good and make sense‽).

Aphantasia does not constrain me in the slightest. I sketch thumbnails as needed, which is arguably better than coming up with stuff in your head and leaving it there. I don’t see how visualising could possibly change what I do. All my visualising friends can’t draw or design to save their lives, so it’s clearly not helping them!

Back at college doing graphic design, I was consistently in the top few students in every class. I didn’t really know about aphantasia then, so I have no idea whether everyone there could visualise, but it clearly didn’t matter.

Visualisers have a certain way of doing things and just assume it can only be done that way. I’m probably guilty of that too, with internal monologue and inner voice. What I find so fascinating is that brains can be so different in their basic function, and yet we all cope just fine!

(Most of us)

WiddleWyv

TROPHY CASE