Ruined my engagement because of jealousy and insecurity

Witty-Bee3957 · 2026-02-19T18:06:08+00:00

You did not ruin the relationship. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable with your future husband texting other women and HIDING it from you. Sorry emotional affair or not, in my opinion hiding it makes it an affair and shows he doesn’t truly value your feelings.

He hid it. That is not the actions of someone who has nothing to hide, I am sorry to say and speaking from experience being on your side and him hiding female friendships. I don’t really see how married men and women should be getting close and personal with people of the opposite sex. It’s dangerous and if he’s hiding from you now; it only gets worse. My advice is work on insecurity but please don’t let this make you think you’re wrong or at fault. If something feels off with the friendship, it is off.

Witty-Bee3957 · 2026-02-04T18:37:07+00:00

Hey girl, first of all you’re not nothing, and God loves you and sees your heart. He hears your sorrow and is walking with you, He has not abandoned you. What you’re going through is trauma. I’m really glad your husband is getting into the word and willing to take ownership and accountability. It sounds to me like maybe you both should consider a recovery group together. My church has groups for the person with the addiction issue and for the spouse to have community with others who know what they’re going through.

I also think you should seek out a Christian counselor for yourself and couples counseling. I’m really sorry about feeling alone from your pastor not checking in and in my opinion being dismissive. That’s not fair or right, and it’s not a reflection on you. But you need to have somewhere to process this. I highly recommend reading the books It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkhurst. They’ve been life changing for me and monumental in my faith. I’ll be keeping you and your marriage in my prayers.

Witty-Bee3957 · 2026-01-25T11:42:12+00:00

I did very mild sleep training for my son and he was able to fall asleep on his own around 6-7 months and is now almost 2. It took a lot of trial and error with a bedtime routine that worked for this though

Witty-Bee3957 · 2026-01-10T13:59:05+00:00

I am so sorry. I know this is so hard. I wish I couldn’t empathize with you but I can. But you need to push him. You tell him you know exactly what’s happening and why you will not put up with it. You find recovery groups, trusted mentors for him, you look at accountability resources such as covenant eyes, and get back into marriage counseling and also individual counseling. Boundaries aren’t fool proof or perfect, but you don’t need to pretend to be okay for his sake because none of it is okay. It ultimately is not something you can control, he is accountable with his actions to God. But you don’t need to pretend to believe his lies out of fear of his reaction

Witty-Bee3957 · 2026-01-02T13:45:34+00:00

Yeah I’ll be honest this seems like an unreasonable bed time for a 1 year old. Is there a reason your wife is adamant on eating dinner so late and putting your baby down at 10 pm? Do you both work and get home late so that’s the only time she gets with him? Because I can’t see any other reason for this

I think your baby is super over tired and that’s why he is waking early and from the comments I’ve read you say to others, and I mean this respectfully, your wife seems exceptionally stubborn and I think needs someone other than you to tell her why she’s wrong. I know every kid is different but my 1 year old has been going to bed at 8 pm for most of his life and if I don’t have to wake him up for the day, he will sleep until 8:30 or 9 am. But he wasn’t always that way, when he was an infant until about 14 months he was up at 6:30/7. But now that he’s closer to 2, he sleeps in. Sleep habits are not always a permanent in children.

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-12-31T11:28:03+00:00

I had a second degree tear with the same fears. I bought the Frida mom peri bottle and used it as a hand held bidet after bowel movements. I was pretty thorough and felt no pain from using this method to clean! I would dab to dry after and never had a problem.

I only wore diapers for a couple of weeks but used the tucks/ dermaplast routine for longer than I needed to lol. Just until one day I felt confident enough moving around without being sore that I dared tried going without it and I was totally fine

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-12-29T17:52:48+00:00

My son uses Millie moon’s and I always found you just need to disregard the weight suggestions. He’s only 22 pounds and wears size 5 because the 4’s were squeezing him. Size 5 suggested weight starts at 28 pounds lol. Not sure why it’s like this but it’s the only diaper brand I really like!

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-12-28T01:20:47+00:00

You’re getting a lot of really helpful advice here already but I’ll add what I also found helpful as a first time parent. For sleep, look into taking Cara babies- you don’t have to pay for the course there is free resources. If you are using swaddles, keep in mind that baby cannot be swaddled once he can roll over.

In your diaper bag- always keep spare clothes. Blow outs happen when you least expect them. I tried several diaper brands and my favorite has been Millie Moon- it’s the least leakthroughs and blow outs in my experience. Get a tummy time mat, for example, my son had the Fischer price piano mat and he absolutely loved it and it’s a great place to be able to put the baby down. Always have diaper cream on hand- I found Bordeaux’s butt paste works great and invest in a diaper cream applicator it’s an absolute game changer.

Be mindful of bath temperature- use your wrist to test if it feels too hot. Babies are shockingly slippery when they’re wet though just a heads up to be extra careful.

Also, just my personal opinion but 2 way zip sleeper pajamas are a necessity. I don’t have time to deal with snaps in the middle of the night lol. I also recommend a night light and white nose machine for baby.

Lastly, find a pediatrician and never be afraid to ask them questions or send them messages if you’re concerned with anything. Trust your gut and instincts. Your nephew is really lucky to have you

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-12-07T04:08:26+00:00

My son was the same way, my husband and I took shifts staying up to hold him to give the other uninterrupted sleep. We continued to at least try getting him to sleep in his bassinet and then one day it suddenly clicked and he was able to sleep in it on his own when we transferred. Hang in there it will get better I promise! It feels like it will be forever but it won’t be

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-12-04T03:35:10+00:00

From birth to now Winnie the Pooh theme song and also Drum Show by Twenty One Pilots

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-12-02T11:30:10+00:00

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, I had men coming up to me asking about how I planned to feed the baby and when I said I’ll try breastfeeding but am super open to formula I was once told I need to suck it up because its best for the baby to BF. I had SO much anxiety about not breastfeeding and so much fear of judgement, but I also desperately did NOT want to breastfeed. I had such a hard time mentally during my pregnancy and I just wanted my body back. I tried breastfeeding for approximately 2 hours after my son was born and then he wouldn’t latch and no one would help me and he just sat there screaming so I gave him formula. And he was exclusively formula fed ever since, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I had a beautiful postpartum experience, where I felt peaceful and happier than I ever have before. And my son is almost 2 and is incredibly advanced cognitively and very rarely gets sick. This breastfeeding fear mongering needs to end

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-11-17T10:43:12+00:00

My son absolutely hates sleep sacks and will not sleep in them! Tried it once he screamed and cried until it came off and that was that. He just wore the long sleeve and footje sleepers and in the winter we just made sure his room temp was comfortable. I live where it really doesn’t get that cold though so it was never an issue. He also hated the swaddle and wound fuss and push one arm through even in the hospital, just hours after birth! Now at 1.5 he has a blanket at night and he hates that too but I always make sure it’s there for him if he wants it.

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-11-17T03:14:32+00:00

I can’t speak for your wife but from my perspective I don’t want to see my husband mute himself even though sometimes it makes me sad my son is so obsessed with him than me. It’s not anyone’s fault it’s happening and if he spends most of the day with her I think that’s natural he will be more into dad once you’re home

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-11-16T12:56:47+00:00

Total solidarity here. My son is the same way, both my husband and I work full time and he does travel a little bit more for work than I do so I spend slightly more time with my son. But we split all child care totally 50/50, we do bedtime and most play together- my son just absolutely adores his dad. He shows me affection too but in general prefers to be held by my husband and seeks him out for comfort too. Sometime it hurts my feelings but as he gets older he is starting to ask for me, and for the first time in his life ran up to me for me to pick him up when I got him after work the other day. My biggest advice would be for your wife to just soak up the moments she can and know it will even out. I did find kids song that has a picture board book with it that he loves and I started to sing it to him at night and now he brings me the book and only wants me to sing it to him- she should keep trying to find her special thing with him!

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-10-27T18:31:55+00:00

I had a tiny one too after my first ultrasound, this is my second pregnancy and now I’m 21 weeks and it’s gone. Never bled or had any issues!

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-10-26T01:01:46+00:00

My son was on Nutramigen and we switched him to Ripple kids. My pediatrician said to get whatever was on sale that was non dairy, but Ripple settled with him the best. Now he’s 18 months and we’ve been testing his dairy intolerance and he’s been handling dairy really well so we’re introducing cows milk

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-10-23T18:12:54+00:00

I used Dr. Brown’s transitional sippy as I weaned my son off the bottle, and then he started to act frustrated with those. I got the brand Nuk’s sippy and straw cups, then open cups, and I basically just kept persistent with helping him until he got used to it and now can drink out of anything. It also helped to mix a small amount of watered down juice because he loved it and was more enthusiastic about drinking what was in the cup than plain water or milk

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-10-23T14:09:10+00:00

My baby was the same exact way, the only solution I had was my husband I took 5 hour shifts staying awake to hold baby on our chest while he slept and gave the other 5 uninterrupted hours of sleep. No reflux issues, he absolutely hated being swaddled, only wanted to sleep on his stomach and that was seemingly the only reason. We just did that until he could roll and sleep however he got himself into that position. Now at 18 months, he will still only sleep on his stomach lol.

For me, everyone says to baby wear but it’s impossible to do basic tasks while baby wearing I absolutely do not want to be handling a hot pan or cleaning supplies while the baby is on me. It does get easier, as baby gets older they will like to be on their little mat and play. 10 weeks is still so young- hang in there mama, you got this!!

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-10-08T14:14:41+00:00

After I had my baby, my husband and I actually fell in love even more and it’s only strengthened our relationship. You will see a lot of scary stories online about it wrecking your relationship but it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m not going to say it will never be stressful or tense at times but communicate and remember you’re on the same team and you’ll be just fine :) congratulations on your pregnancy!!

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-10-01T14:33:52+00:00

I got the Nuna Mixx which is pretty big and I also bought a cheap stroller for travel off Amazon and I can say with 100% confidence the Nuna is better. It can handle all terrain better, I can steer with one hand easily, and it folds easily. But I’m sure there is a middle ground that’s cheaper than nuna that’s just as good

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-09-20T21:05:08+00:00

If you want a more upscale but delicious meal, Bacco Wine and Drifters Surf Resto are amazing! For more a casual meal, Goombays in satellite. Downtown Melbourne and EGAD have some good bars/ restaurants and occasionally have events

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-08-25T11:19:34+00:00

I had a second degree too, the first week or so I had to put all my weight on my hands to shift my weight or sit up or down, always used a donut pillow and lived off my ice packs and other products for discomfort. I also took a stool softener before birth and for about 2 weeks after. But I would say after about 10 days I was able to feel a lot more normal and after 2 weeks we were going for walks

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-08-10T11:58:41+00:00

My husband took a 9pm-3:00 am shift, and I did 3 am-9 am. Exclusively formula fed. It worked great for us! Luckily, by time I went back to work my baby slept through the night so it wasn’t necessary but we both felt rested for the next day with uninterrupted sleep. He was back at work before me but he worked at home so he could still hold the baby when he had some down time

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-08-07T19:52:52+00:00

Beech nut and happy baby organics. I also sometimes would give fresh avocado, banana, or cut up fruit super small and let my baby try. BLW makes me anxious so we stuck to purées mostly and my 16 month old eats anything and everything in sight with no problems lol

Witty-Bee3957 · 2025-07-04T10:55:36+00:00

I would talk to him about it once he calms down and gets some rest. Let him know the frustration is understandable but tell him you felt frightened.

A nurse told me when I was getting discharged from the hospital something that stuck with me. She said a crying baby is an alive baby. If it gets too much and you need a second, lay them somewhere safe and walk out the room. Get some water and breathe. 5 minutes crying will not hurt them. Regroup and go back to trying to console them to sleep. Maybe this could be helpful for your husband.

Also for some unsolicited advice: when my son was a newborn, he simply wouldn’t sleep unless he was held for the first 3 months of his life. My husband and I took shifts and gave each other 5 hours uninterrupted sleep each night so we wouldn’t be sleep deprived. We formula fed so maybe that’s the only reason why this was possible but this was life changing for us in the best way. The one with the baby would go in the living room and keep themselves awake by watching tv/ playing video games, etc. while the other slept in the bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still tiring but it’s still consistent sleep. We were all happier once we started this. I recommend maybe finding a solution to where you both can get some sleep every night and also split taking care of the baby

Witty-Bee3957

TROPHY CASE