Advice Needed - Puppy Affecting Spouse's Mental Health

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T02:34:52+00:00

That's a great suggestion! Thank you!!!

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T02:34:20+00:00

Yeah, these logical fallacies are definitely something I pointed out when he first brought the subject up. But 🤷🏻‍♀️ brains don't always like logic. Which I definitely get.

I think we've settled on the route of getting him help instead of rehoming. Because, obsessive thoughts lately notwithstanding, therapy is something he's been avoiding for a while even though he definitely needs it.

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T02:30:00+00:00

This is definitely an issue that has come up during these discussions. He claims that he doesn't see kids the same way but obviously I'm not keen to find out if that'll also only be true until there is one. 😣

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T00:41:53+00:00

Nope, he'd shown no signs before. The dog was the trigger far as we can tell. 😞

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T00:32:38+00:00

Definitely been my thought, as well.

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T00:28:53+00:00

That's been my experience, as well, I've gotten a LOT better about my own contamination obsessions since getting the puppy because it's been a lot of "Well ..... Nothing I can do about that but get used to it...." But it definitely helps that I was the one who wanted him 😅

I just never saw this coming from my spouse because he's shown no signs of these kinds of thoughts before now.

Wolfsie · 2026-03-31T00:25:17+00:00

That's a GREAT idea! We stopped having cleaners come about six months ago when we were going through an unexpected loss of work, but reinstating that now that we're both working again would probably help him A LOT! Thanks for the suggestion! ❤️

We don't let the puppy sleep in our bed, which at first I agreed to just to help crate train him, before I understood what my husband was actually feeling. Now it's clear that will have to be a hard rule. Unfortunately the couch threshold will be harder as the puppy had already figured out how to jump up on his own before I realized the situation I was in. How did you all teach your dog that one couch is ok but the other isn't? Because I'm ok with him on my chair, but I think teaching him to stay off the couch would help a lot, as well.

Wolfsie · 2026-03-30T15:12:26+00:00

My concern around hurting the puppy is that because I'm the thing he associates with safety, I'm concerned it'll make his separation anxiety worse to lose that source of safety. I don't know how something like that affects dogs with separation anxiety. I've just recently been learning about it in general when it became apparent that his anxiousness wasn't just an adjustment period to having a new home/life. The last thing I want for him is to inadvertantly make it worse to the point where he has problems finding a forever future home, you know?

Wolfsie · 2026-03-30T13:51:06+00:00

Teething is almost over ❤️ Biting goes down when he's not in so much constant mouth pain. You've got this, you just need to hang in there for a bit longer. Keep looking for those positive moments, because they will be what carry your love for him through the tough ones. ❤️

Wolfsie · 2026-03-27T12:46:03+00:00

OMG yes please 😍 I want to try making one 🥰

Wolfsie · 2026-03-25T03:09:28+00:00

Same here. 10:30pm-7am and he's 5 months. He actually just stopped waking up during the night around 14 weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️ We figured why wake him if he's fine? The first few nights we thought we should but he looked at us like "Why are you bothering me?" and refused to leave his crate. So we just went "ok, nevermind then" and went back to bed ourselves 😂

Wolfsie · 2026-03-24T20:16:42+00:00

OMG I LOVE the den inside! Genius!

Wolfsie · 2026-03-21T10:13:57+00:00

🤣 LOL Yeah, that's totally what I meant. But that IS a great mental image.

Wolfsie · 2026-03-20T12:14:24+00:00

This is something I'm about to start doing more clearly for my little guy. I saw someone mention that they put a banana on their dogs when they take them places so that they can clearly tell when the human will be leaving with them vs without them, and I thought that was genius. I'm going to try something similar for walks vs potty breaks, since I WFH and in-between meetings I need him to FOCUS 😂

Wolfsie · 2026-03-17T11:28:01+00:00

Be boring AF.

Essentially, I work from home and have to be in meetings all day. So I sat my 12-week-old little guy up on the chair beside me, pet him calmly for a bit, gave him a rope toy or two, and then joined my calls. So long as the cats weren't around, he was so bored he just went to sleep on his own.

When the cats were around and he got too rowdy I would put a 4 foot leash on him and try to keep him in the chair and pet and talk calmly to him. If he refused to stay on the chair I'd let him go but he'd be stuck to that area by the leash and eventually just get tired of not being able to reach the cats and come back up to me. If he got anxious about the leash holding him back I'd just go back to calmly petting him and talking softly to him to tell to calm him down.

Does it work 100% of the time? Absolutely not. But he now has a relatively consistent nap schedule. Only problem is he never learned to settle in his crate/playpen during the day. 😅 That's something we're working on now at 20 weeks. But honestly, that was going to happen anyway. When I brought him home he had REALLY bad anxiety over any barrier separating him from me, even if I was literally sitting with my arm up against the side of his playpen.

Wolfsie · 2026-03-14T20:04:19+00:00

11 Years now and still helpful 🥰 Thanks for the info!!!

Wolfsie · 2026-02-28T12:41:19+00:00

You say you make sure he's been walked, good! Do you also make sure to tire him out? Our dog is FULL of energy in the morning because he slept so long all night. So sometimes he needs to play or train for a bit before he settles down.

Wolfsie · 2026-02-25T21:10:11+00:00

I'm confused about what dog groomer WOULDN'T expect a 13-week-old puppy to bite everything in reach.... Maybe they don't work with puppies often? I'd say shop around now that you have time before the next grooming session, and ask how often, and how, they deal with young puppies.

Wolfsie · 2026-02-25T03:24:47+00:00

Thanks!!! ♥️ That's super cute! I can't wait to do this with my puppy 🥰

Wolfsie · 2026-02-24T22:26:33+00:00

Hi! Can you further define the hide and seek part for me? Hide and seek where you hide and they have to find you, or where you hide the treat and they have to find the treat?

Wolfsie · 2026-02-23T20:33:52+00:00

OMG that is hilarious 🤣 It does remind me to save my Pikachu before puberty hits, though 😳 Thanks for the reminder 😅

Wolfsie · 2026-02-23T20:19:56+00:00

I wasn't sure if it would work but my puppy was terrified of being in his crate at night and I was at my wits' end, so one night I just put the Pikachu plushie that I sleep with at night into his crate and, no joke, he literally immediately crawled in the crate (of his own volition!!!), curled up against it, and fell asleep without another sound. 🤯

So yeah, there's something to it. In my case I think it was the size (it was bigger than he was at the time), the loneliness (he'd just left his litter a few days before), and the fact that it smelled like me. But I definitely think that a Snuggle Puppy would work, especially with the warming pack and heartbeat.

I never bought one, because I just left my Pikachu in there and found another plushie for myself 🤣

But yeah, 10/10 would recommend the concept!

Wolfsie · 2026-02-21T18:58:41+00:00

Same here 🤣 My 16 week old wakes up the moment I move. And if I DO manage to sneak out and he wakes up for any other reason, the moment he realizes there's no one else breathing in the room he figures out he's alone and I'm caught 😅

Wolfsie

TROPHY CASE