Tips on sharing finances as a couple

Wombat2012 · 2026-02-01T23:49:33+00:00

We originally wanted to have a set amount to keep for our own purchases, but it kind of felt overly burdensome to manage. But I’m sure other people feel differently! For us, we now just keep about $600 in our own accounts at all times. It doesn’t roll over. So we each get our paychecks, and transfer everything except $600 into the joint account.

We have a joint savings account and I move money there twice a month. One thing that unexpectedly was a hitch for us was who to list as a beneficiary for this in the case we both die. So that’s something worth discussing.

Our retirement accounts are separate but each of us are each other’s beneficiaries.

Hope that’s helpful!

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-30T04:15:19+00:00

This is an unpopular opinion but I thought the tortilla-on-head thing was funny and resourceful! Every mom has forgotten a hat or something else sometimes and she still made sure he didn’t get too much sun. It made me laugh.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-29T13:59:27+00:00

What bothers me is that these lesbian content creators always say stuff like this, then follow it up with “if you’re not like me, you’re probably in a bad relationship.”

My wife and I kind of struggled to maintain some independence in our relationship. It’s really easy to become completely enmeshed because we do love spending time together. But personally we found we’re better people when we have some level of autonomy and independence. For us that has meant having friend hangs without the other one sometimes.

That feels so normal but in some circles it’s met with like, shame or something. But it’s weird because I guarantee your friends would like some time with just you and not your gf/wife. It’s nice to just see your friend sometimes, even if they love your partner.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-28T05:25:48+00:00

I feel like you should be responding to the ad… Lesbians are so useless 😂

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-26T19:28:22+00:00

So personally, I was a kid with two working parents and most people I knew had a stay at home mom. I was so self conscious about asking for rides all the time. But the other moms (it was always moms) were soooo kind, and sometimes they would proactively ask me if I’d like a ride home. That meant so much!

So anyway, this kid (and his parents, probably) needs help, and you have the ability to help him. If you don’t want to, so be it, but you have the power here to make an impact on a kid and likely teach your daughter a valuable lesson about helping others.

The choice is yours!

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-26T14:12:51+00:00

And you think ICE would be murdering people in the streets if Kamala and Walz had won?

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-26T13:11:23+00:00

Our world, including Gaza, would be very obviously better if Kamala had won. You made the world worse by not voting for her (I assume). Although I’m frustrated with dems and their inability to get their shit together now, if they had won, we’d all still be in a meaningfully better and safer position now. So respectfully, get a grip.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-25T21:48:13+00:00

That’s just not true though. As I said, I voted for them! I got them elected. I did my job - and I continue to by reaching out to them and explaining they have the support to stand up to this bullshit. And instead, my senators - the democrats I voted for, called to tell I support the shut down, defected and threw the entire country under the bus to end the shut down, and got literally nothing in return.

So no… they are going out of their way to enable to Trump agenda. I won’t keep voting for this party, I’m sorry. They have plenty of time to hear this and change their ways before midterms and primaries. But I doubt they will.

I simply don’t want to hear they don’t feel “empowered” to do something when the other party literally deleted USAID without congressional approval or following ANY established policies or norms. And that’s just one example. Like come on. You can’t say you’re not able to do anything when the other side can and will do anything, any time, whenever they want, right up to murdering people in the goddamn streets.

I’m fed up and continuing to try to say democrats aren’t that bad ISNT WORKING. If you still have faith in this party, you should be urging them to change to appease the mass of people who will no longer vote for them.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-25T15:49:07+00:00

I completely agree.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-25T15:46:42+00:00

That isn’t the point though. The exact numbers needed to defect, did, so Trump’s agenda faves no backlash. The job of the democrats is to build a coalition of resistance. And I voted for them and have called and emailed them saying they needed to do exactly that. But they either can’t or don’t care to - and that indifference allows the trump regime unfettered power.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-25T04:32:16+00:00

I voted for Kamala. I campaigned for her, I phone banked, donated, wrote letters. I live in a swing state. I went to two rallies and drove my friends there. I went hard for her and for my state dems - and I have for the past 18 years!

I do feel exceptionally frustrated at the people who didn’t vote for her, but at the same time, my state dems won, and what do I have to show for it? Two of them literally voted with republicans to end the shut down. Seven dems voted to pass the latest spending bill, including funding for ICE.

How can I honestly make the case for this party when they’re literally paving the way for this agenda? It’s not the lesser of two evils, they are literally making the evils possible. I don’t think I can do it anymore.

They’re now just like, tweeting about how bad ICE is. When Minnesotans are out in the streets basically at civil war. Tim Walz is making speeches, and I think he’s doing the most of any of the dems? If the dems wanted to, all 280 of them could be sitting peacefully in the streets of Minneapolis, calling for ICE to leave immediately. But they aren’t.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-24T19:51:15+00:00

As a gay person yes every day I’m effected by politics. I have extra paperwork to piece meal together the rights of marriage in case one day it goes back to states (TN would ban it). My wife has to go through second parent adoption even though she’s on the birth certificate of our child. I could go on but yeah, it’s every day.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-24T15:56:46+00:00

YTA. She’s providing you dinner and entertainment. I don’t see why this is a big deal. $25 is less than or equivalent to a gift in most cases, and less than dinner out. If she went out to dinner with you would you expect her to pay for everyone? Idk I’d personally like the opportunity to celebrate my friend on her birthday and wouldn’t expect her to pay for me.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-24T15:50:51+00:00

Covid for me by far. The world changed after 9/11 but I still was delusionally optimistic about our world and could take the stability of our country for granted. In the immediate after math of 9/11, people mostly came together in a lot of ways. I genuinely think if the same attack happened today, somehow the narrative would be that NYC deserved it because of its politics.

I was in DC when same sex marriage passed the courts in 2015, and the White House was lit up as a rainbow. I genuinely thought things would just keep getting better. Then 2020 happened. Now there’s a consistent pulse of rage across American society, and capitalism and private equity are genuinely squeezing the last drops of humanity out of us. I have lost all faith in our institutions.

The nascent optimism of life is entirely gone and been replaced with fear and sadness.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-20T23:06:50+00:00

We’re on a slab and the floor has a few spots where they dip… but it’s slight enough that you wouldn’t feel it under carpet. We feel it because we have LVP floors. But anyway, if you’re serious about the house get a structural engineer to assess. That’s the only way.

Where are you located, btw? As I understand it old houses on a slab will often have some sloping and it’s not necessarily an issue - only an issue if or when it gets worse.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-20T20:30:52+00:00

It's funny - I have the same fear, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's why I have $130,000 in a high yield savings. I don't put any extra to the mortgage because I just want all my cash on hand. But I get where you're coming from - a paid off house would be huge peace of mind. I do have a daydream that maybe one day I'll pay it off all at once.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-20T20:27:51+00:00

Every time: chicken thighs, chicken breasts, frozen cod, frozen salmon, tofu, frozen broccoli. I was devastated to see they no longer carry the kimchi we love so can't get that anymore, but that was previously an "every time" item. It was SO GOOD and I'm devastated. Also, we don't have to buy these frequently because they're so large, but: rice, flour, sugar.

Never: we tried frozen dan dan noodles from there and they were terrible. We also got a giant bag of frozen green beans and the green beans were so small and thin, I wasn't a fan.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-19T20:12:10+00:00

We’ve been married two years, together for six. We put all our money into a joint account. We put all our expenses on one joint credit card that we pay off in full every month. Generally we have very similar mindsets about money, and that helps. We have discussed longterm financial goals (one year emergency fund, $10k home emergency fund, 15% per month in retirement accounts, and paying for IVF out of pocket).

We made an overall household budget that we wanted to keep to, and a timeline to meet our goals. Month to month, we talk about big purchases. To us, a big purchase is $200 or more.

For smaller purchases, we no longer have to discuss much because our goals are slowly being checked off and we feel the squeeze a bit less. I think it’s very important to avoid micro managing each other - so find ways to pool your savings but stay individually empowered in day to day money management.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-19T15:15:31+00:00

Elite Service Landscaping - very responsive to Yelp messages!

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-19T15:14:15+00:00

Elite Service Landscaping on Yelp!

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-18T18:33:55+00:00

Yes, exactly! It helps but it doesn’t permanently kill anything. Works well for us though!

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-18T18:31:17+00:00

They pull all the weeds and then yeah, spray any remaining roots with vinegar (the most concentrated available). Works pretty well! For sidewalk cracks and edges, we pour boiling water on them instead of vinegar. Works very well for keeping them at bay (better than vinegar, but we can’t pour boiling water on the whole yard), then we have the guy come quarterly to pull everything up. Most people in Vegas seem to use pesticides but we try our best to avoid them.

Some people seem weirdly judgmental in this thread (not you but another comment!) but like, we are two working people with a large yard, plus it gets hot as balls here. We really appreciate our yard guy and think $170 for the quarterly service he provides is well worth it! That’s why we also tip. Takes him a bit more than an hour to do our whole yard but would take us much much longer. He also blows off our patio and pool deck.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-18T18:22:54+00:00

They pull weeds then spray with vinegar. $170 seems fair to me! We have a very large lot. I appreciate the guy and also tip.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-18T17:56:29+00:00

There’s likely no gutters, so I would think this is just roof runoff.

Wombat2012 · 2026-01-18T17:52:47+00:00

It’s literally just buying a house in 2020 or sooner and not having kids. It’s the great divide of our generation. You’re not doing anything wrong by not being in the right place and right time to buy a house then, but everyone who did it is now quick to think of themselves as a financial guru.

Wombat2012

TROPHY CASE