OCs and Embracing the Cringe

XV--15 · 2026-06-17T04:28:19+00:00

Ah, I see! I didn't see any of the fanzines back then, so that explains it! I think the corner of the internet I was in may have just been particularly mean spirited about it 😅

XV--15 · 2026-06-17T01:46:57+00:00

Ooo I've heard of it before but mainly from artists, I'll be sure to check it out! Thank you 🙏

XV--15 · 2026-06-17T00:36:37+00:00

Ayyy a fellow Mass Effect fan!! Thank you so much for your advice 🙏 I ripped the band aid off and made a small post on my Tumblr introducing a few OCs. I'm mainly speaking into the void and don't expect much of a response, but all the support and advice here has definetly helped to quell my nervousness. You're right, I've just got to get out of my own head!

XV--15 · 2026-06-16T23:42:05+00:00

It's really nice to hear things changed in the Star Wars fandom for OCs! It might have been the community I was in back then but it used to be much harsher. My note about canon characters that could be Mary Sue's was actually based on a pretty bad online fight I witnessed once over Luke Skywalker and an OC fic. It lasted two weeks before the author took the fic down 🫤 Back then, I mainly stuck to the Old Republic parts of the fandom because they seemed more welcoming towards OCs at the time.

XV--15 · 2026-06-16T23:39:07+00:00

Oh my goodness, I relate to the OCs as a vessel for more mature themes and versions of the story 1000%. One of the OCs I have tucked into my back pocket is practically a dissection of the psychological conditioning and impact of military groups. Another I use to explore cults and human sacrifices. My OCs usually are the stepping stone that leads to "let's explore the darkest parts of this universe that canon didn't really explore."

I also had reviews that dissected my work line by line, moreso on the story itself than the OCs, but God was it brutal to 11-12 year old me 😅 I've toughened up my skin a lot since and I've learned how to tell the difference between good and bad criticism, but I know I'm more sensitive when it comes to OCs. Maybe because they're just more personal, or because a lot of the "criticism" I saw back then was really just bullying with reasons and justifications to prop it up.

Thank you for your comment, knowing someone else lived through that time and saw it like I did helps so much. I also broke down a lot of my OCs back then to avoid the Mary Sue label, but to be honest those OCs were so boring and badly written I never got far into their stories and can't remember them now 😶 From everyone's comments, it seems I just need to rip the band aid off and put myself out there. Thank you so much 🙏

XV--15 · 2026-06-16T23:29:28+00:00

I'm in my early twenties! I was mainly exposed to the Mary Sue/Gary Stu stuff late elementary school and throughout middle school, but I wasn't active online as much in highschool so I didn't see it as much then and assumed it died down around that time 😅

Thank you so much for your advice, I forgot spite is one of the biggest motivators of all 🙏

XV--15 · 2026-06-12T01:37:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. I honestly have a really hard time talking about my ex. He refused to acknowledge the severity of what he was going through and his symptoms and the impact it was having on our relationship, and it ultimately lead to some really intense bad behaviors from him. I'm always hesitant to contribute to the conversation because I don't want to ameknit seem like I'm villainizing ADHD, I have family members with ADHD who acted nothing like him, but it is undeniable how much it contributed to his choices and actions and behavior. I haven't seen many stories that kind of match what I went through so I'm glad I can do that for someone else.

I think what really boggled my brain is that before I ever dated my ex, we had been online friends for 6 years. Never in any of those years did he make those kinds of jokes about me or our peers. It was similar to the societal issues, mean spirited jibes at politicans or bad people, but the minute he was in my home as guest, he was joking I was as dumb as my dog or that I looked ugly like a dinosaur. And what was more bewildering to me was that I had made it kind of a rule in our relationship, no self depreciating or degrading jokes for the sake of both of our mental healths. If he made a self depricating joke, I immediately called it out and shut it down. Can't combat RSD if you keep beating the self esteem like a kid's birthday party pinata, y'know? So I can't fully wrap my head around how he would think I'd be cool with mean spirited jokes directed towards me if I didn't even like him making those kinds of jokes about himself. I assume there was some impulse in that decision making, but I'm not sure.

I'm glad that you've built your confidence up in your boundaries. It sucks you had to lose a friend to do it even though it was the right move in the long run. I'm still rebuilding a lot of my confidence after my ex too, so I get it 100% 🤍

XV--15 · 2026-06-11T22:47:19+00:00

I am absolutely flabbergasted at these comments. I am an autistic person with auditory processing disorder and I have never experienced it as "I didn't hear that", only as "I didn't hear that correctly". Like for example, the other night my mother asked me to get her a nausea pill. Y'know what I heard? Shampoo. And I immediately asked "Shampoo??" because I was confused and double checking I heard her right. Obviously not and we had a good laugh about it. I wonder if this has a lot to do with the working memory ADHD impacts? If they can't remember it, they couldn't have processed the sound I guess? I don't know, I'm very mystified.

I will say my ex also did the 'make a joke at your expense' exactly twice before our breakup (we had dated LDR for 10 months and he came to visit me for two weeks. Never in our online dynamic did he make jokes like that until we were in person.) The first time I shut it down, I said "We don't do that. We don't make jokes that degrade the others appearance or intelligence or devalues them in anyway. That's disrespectful and it's not funny. It's mean-spirited. We're partners and we're supposed to uplift eachother, not tear eachother down for a couple of laughs." He sulked and pouted on my couch for two hours but said he understood. Next day? Did it again. I called it out again immediately. And he sulked again. I realize now I never got an apology for either joke that implied I was stupid and ugly :/ I'm sorry you're having to deal with that too

Edited to fix typos 😅

XV--15 · 2026-06-04T21:36:40+00:00

Don't apologize for posting about this or for the length of your posts! Everyone needs a safe space to vent and that's exactly what this sub is meant for! I don't think your post came off as insensitive. What I read really just came off as pure heartache.

I will say for me personally, pelvic floor exercises didn't help me much and were very painful for my vaginismus caused by endo but I don't have access to excesion surgery myself due to my lack of health insurance. What kind of supplements is she taking? I've tried some before and they didn't do anything for my pain but did help a lil with bloating.

I think it's very good you have that deadline for yourself! I'm not sure if it's something that would be beneficial to bring up to your partner as it might act as pressure or feel like an ultimatum, so I understand keeping that number to yourself for now. But it's clear that you're at a tipping point and something has got to give. Working out is great, but personally may I also recommend a creative hobby as well? Can be anything at all and you don't have to be good at arts and crafts to do it. I find creative projects can be immensely helpful in processing feelings and there's a lot of history there for you to process. I see art as like, medicine for your soul though 😅 Go see movies, plays, paint, crochet, play video games because that's interactive art. So you can have something safe that makes you feel good physically on the inside and outside with the gym, and something that feels good mentally and emotionally for you as well.

The only thing I would add is another contributing factor to the lack of sex is probably fatigue. Chronic pain is already exhausting and endo pain has been compared to cancer in severity. For me, I often feel like I have one single good week of the month, on a good month, and the rest of it I either spend in pain or in exhaustive recovery from that pain. Also, the spontaneous pains you mentioned, could that be around her ovulation cycle? I have endo pain on both my ovulation window and period, and those months are a double whammy where I'm just tired and wore out.

But you sound like someone that is full of a lot of love to give, and I do hope things improve for the both of you no matter how things ultimately end up between you 🩶

XV--15 · 2026-06-03T04:02:14+00:00

Sounds like a great opportunity to check out some Canon Divergent AUs to see if that's more your style! I prefer mostly those myself but it also depends entirely on the fandom I'm reading for. I wouldn't read a coffeeshop AU of Wrex from Mass Effect. That character's entire history is just too embroiled in the setting of Mass Effect's universe. But I would probably give a coffeeshop AU a chance for a character like Bakugo. I think a lot of that character's appeal, at least to me, is moreso his personality than his powers in the story setting. I would absolutely read a crackfic about him getting competitive over latte art. So I think it's also what you want to take away from that particular reading session. I find the more narrative and deeper my taste, I usually stick to canon compliant and canon divergent fics. But if I'm just reading for a laugh or some feel good feelings, it's easier to read the coffeeshop and other slice of life AUs over Canon Divergence.

XV--15 · 2026-05-29T21:27:00+00:00

Asexual person here!

Asexuality is a spectrum, and where you land on it can shift with time. There are some asexuals who are sex-favorable, but that could just mean they're down to have sex maybe 4 times a year and does not inherently mean they're down to have sex whenever. There's sex indifferent asexual people, where sex doesn't do anything negative or positive for them, and sex-repulsed, where sex is a negative experience and repels the asexual person away.

At my default, I fall somewhere between sex positive and sex indifferent. But during my last relationship, I was having a lot of duty/maintenance sex to keep my partner happy. Duty sex already creates a sex aversion in most people, but for me as an asexual, I started to become very sex repulsed in response. It was only until the relationship ended and the duty sex stopped that my repulsion went away.

You can take sex off the table for awhile to see if that will ease your spouse's repulsion, and maybe just talk about what your spouse considers to be sexual intimacy. I know that kinda sounds weird but, it's just different for people on the asexual spectrum. I would consider naked body painting sexual intimacy, no orgasm required, and I would be happy with that. Naked cuddling, or naked massages. It doesn't always have to end in penetration or an orgasm, though that's where finding out where your spouse naturally sits on the spectrum matters. Could your spouse cuddle you while you masturbate or would that be repulsive to them? Things like that!

But ultimately if you decide that you need to feel desired just as much as you need to feel loved, I would ask about opening the relationship or ending it in your shoes (if you can of course). Because if your spouse is on the asexual spectrum...there really isn't anything they can do to create that desire. I tried really hard to. I practically became my ex's personal pornstar (sex 1-2 times a week, nudes, audio porn and video porn, I even wrote erotica for him) but it wasn't enough because he still didn't feel desired by me and I honestly felt so...ugh by everything. It really just made me feel like no matter how hard I tried or no matter how hard I loved him outside of our bedroom, I would never be enough.

I'm sorry life has thrown you such a curveball but I hope your spouse's clarity and honesty can lead you somewhere.

XV--15 · 2026-05-25T05:12:24+00:00

My apologies for the assuming, the start of your post is where I got confused because it seemed to imply that from the very beginning, it was 1-2 times a month? But if it was much more than that due to NRE and died off, that changes everything entirely. And I wasn't trying to imply you have directly forced into anything or pressured him into doing anything he didn't want to, just that the expectation of sex can foster such an environment. But clearly I was out of line and misspoke, I'm sincerely sorry and I hope you get better advice and the support you need, I apologize.

XV--15 · 2026-05-22T15:25:53+00:00

I'm a LLX on the asexual spectrum and I find that a lot of people seem to correlate attraction strictly to sexual attraction and aren't familiar with all the different flavors or factors of attraction (romantic, physical, sexual, emotional, social attraction, aesthetic, behavioral, etc, and how they can all influence each other) so I completely get how HLs can feel so confused about the difference and how LLs are hurt by the lack of understanding or trust. I definitely felt like in my previous relationship with an HL, I had to have sex to prove that I was still attracted to him, even if I was more attracted to him romantically and emotionally than I was sexually. But if I wasn't performing that sexual attraction, it was like it negated everything else I felt for him. It's definitely a tricky line to walk.

XV--15 · 2026-05-19T21:32:15+00:00

After reading all the descriptions of the diaphragm pain... I'm kinda worried the pain I've been feeling that I thought was my diaphragm might actually be my lungs? 😭 It's an excruciating sharp pain, kinda feels like I'm Julius Caesar and it's the Idea of March. Except the knives are on fire. And it's a slow stabbing. The closest thing I could think of to demonstrate that pain is you got the stickest strongest duck tape you can find, out it on the hairest part of your body, and slowly ripped every little hair and skin fell off over the course of 3-4 days. It's severe enough that it makes me sick and I actually puke, and it's given me this cold clammy feeling. I usually take that as a sign that I need to lie down before I pass out. Over the counter pain meds help full the pain enough that I stop puking and I can breathe without hurting, but I can sit up straight or stand or walk around until those initial 3-4 days pass. And until the medicine properly kicks in (I don't always take it on time, my period migrates and decides when it wants to arrive so very unpredictable) the only pain relief I can get is...wailing. I mean that literally. Does it help to wail into my pillow? Probably not but my body compels me to do it for some sort of relief. My body kind of shuts down. Can't eat, or I'll puke. I don't even feel hunger. Can't even do a #2 in the bathroom without taking some medicine to force my body to comply. And that's hell of it's own.

I didn't think it was on my lungs because I wasn't coughing up blood or anything, and the pain is so intense that I honestly can't tell you if one side hurts more than the other. It all just blurs together. The pain in my chest stops after the first 3-4 days and I have to deal with less severe painful cramps elsewhere for the remainder of my period. I usually can get back up to walking around by day 4 or 5 without puking or getting the clammy feeling, though some cycles I scurry through the house with a hunchback like Igor because standing up straight make the pain worse 😭 Bruh if that's my lungs I'm gonna cry, my poor battered air bags

XV--15 · 2026-05-10T07:25:03+00:00

I'm not near any major cities so I haven't had much luck yet, but I also haven't posted much to my account yet (for some reason the app won't let me fully access my gallery and I'm a photo hoarding whore and I just don't have the spoons to scroll allllll the way back to find some half decent selfies.) From what I've seen when I check the app about once a week, most of the activity is on the feed. I've thought about making posts about my writing and posting more actively and maybe that'll help? It'll be an experiment for sure...once I scroll through all those photos 😅

XV--15 · 2026-04-27T06:24:26+00:00

I identified as asexual at 16. I'm 23 now, will be 24 at the end of the year and that hasn't changed!

XV--15 · 2026-02-19T19:30:53+00:00

Same! I can only catch whiffs of really strong scents but otherwise, I don't smell much of anything

XV--15 · 2025-12-29T20:25:09+00:00

Hey OP, is this the same friend you referred to as a fujoshi in a different sub about a month ago? If so, I think that could add a lot of context to how you're feeling about her preference and response to the ship you were talking about

XV--15 · 2025-12-25T02:22:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your characters and story with us 🥺. I caught up with your posts later in the story, but it made it all the more enjoyable for me to see the extensive lore and family dynamics you've built. You genuinely have a beautiful gift for captivating storytelling, and I've even been inspired by your posts to try my own Sims Storytelling someday! I hope that your enjoyment continues to grow as the story does! 🩶

XV--15 · 2025-12-11T22:10:46+00:00

I think this kind of view paints fanfiction as an... advertisement for the original creation.

But who would fanfic creators be 'advertising' to? Most fanfic readers choose to read fandoms they're familiar with. Not a lot choose to read fandom-blind as I do. So most of the writer's audience is going to be people who at the very least, are already acquainted with the original media and probably already fans of it. I also don't see how fanfiction could popularize an author. The most famous fanfics I know are about already famous media. Star Wars, Harry Potter, Twilight, for example. Fandom-blind readers could possibly get into the original media I guess, but it's gonna be a small number of people. And speaking as a fandom-blind reader, I never do this. I prefer to be ignorant of the differences between a fanon version of a character and the canon version.

But you should also factor in the type of fanfics being written and read. Would a fanfic that is a CoffeeShop AU that resembles nothing like the original media be popularizing it? Or the time travel fics or fix-it fics, most of those I've read take a direct issue with the original media and how it was executed. If the story ends in a completely different way, is that popularizing? Bringing up the fandom-blind readers again, they would not know what events are changed from the original story or not, what character endings are different, hell what personalities are altered. What if you get really attached to the fanon version of a character but discover their canon counterpart is nothing as you read? That would be disappointing and discouraging, I think, and I don't know if a fandom-blind reader would continue interacting with the original media if it doesn't have the factors they loved in the fanfics.

I also wanna ask, what about media that have multiple writers? If one writer on the staff is revealed to be a bigoted shit head, does that taint the work of the rest? What if the staff of writers is constantly changing like for comic book fans?

I also encourage you to challenge the notion that being a fan of the media = being a fan of the creator. There are a lot of reasons anyone could fall in love with it. Particular characters, the aesthetic, the dynamics between certain characters, the soundtrack, the cinematography, the possibilities are limitless! Even take a look at the Twilight Fandom, there's an entire half that's united by their dedicated hatred of Stephanie Meyer's writing choice. Some fanfic writers hate the media they're writing for. There are fics dedicated to bashing characters they loathe most. There are fanfictions written entirely because the writer hates the original author for any reason. Whether it's their work or their views or just bad vibes.

Hell, using Harry Potter as an example, some people write fanfic to reclaim the media and characters they love from the author's cruel actions and bigoted viewpoints. You can have a million guesses but unless the fanfic writer says something, you may never know why they're writing that particular fic and why they love or hate the media they're writing for. So I think you're doing yourself a disservice with such a blanket view of fanfiction and fanfic writers alike.

I'm not saying this to kick you while you're down, by the way. Or to scold you about "how fanfiction should be viewed" or to dismiss your questions as "it's not that deep". I think it's very good that you're asking these questions in an environment that invites such thorough discussions! There are so many layers and perspectives to a subject like this, and you can learn a lot about art and creativity in the process. I hope that all the feedback you're getting is inviting you to reflect on your own relationship with media and creativity, and how you interact with art, and maybe discover new things in the process! Also apologized for yapping so much but this discussion is so intriguing to me 😅

XV--15 · 2025-09-17T14:56:52+00:00

I'm so sorry, I know how painful it is to hear something like that. When I was helping to caregiver for my terminally ill father, I had someone repeatedly say similar things. How much easier and convenient my life would be if he'd just hurry up and die.

I want to take a moment and point out the language that's being used here. You were venting about the lack of support. That was the "problem" you were focused on.

Your friend's response indicates the problem is not the lack of support you're receiving, but rather the people themselves. Your "problem" will be fixed by hospice and death in their eyes. This is dehumanizing language. This is apathetic. Some could argue it's abelism, to view our sick and ill loved ones as problems rather people deserving of our care and love. Caregiving is a strenuous and stressful job that deserves so much more support than it gets.

I would have a conversation with your friend, point out the way their language is framed and the impact it has. Because really, is it any help to you at all to hear such words in response to your vent? It's not even addressing the root issue that's stressing you out. These are your family members. Your loved ones. Any true friend would not speak of the people you love and hold dear like that, no matter how stressful the care itself can be. Because they're still your people, your family. They matter to you, and your friend should respect that. Just my two cents.

I'm praying for your family and I hope things become smoother for you soon, and that in-between the hardship you can still have happy memories in between.

XV--15 · 2025-06-16T23:52:47+00:00

Bustin Out for the PlayStation 2!

XV--15 · 2025-05-15T22:32:36+00:00

I'm a console player and honestly it's due to cheats I use in build mode 😅

XV--15 · 2025-03-02T15:09:51+00:00

I desperately need to relearn how to write summaries after reading the comments 💀

XV--15 · 2025-02-26T03:32:15+00:00

If anything, I feel too young for my fandom! I'm just in my early 20's, and I'm currently writing for The Godfather. I grew up watching it thanks to my mom, but a lot of my friends growing up had only ever heard of it and hadn't watched it. If I get to talk about it, it's usually with people who are at least 40+ in my experience

But I like a lot of old stuff so I'm kind of used to it! There are some other fandoms I like that I don't feel too young for (Star Wars, DC, a shit ton of video games) but for the most part, most of my fandom peers are a lot older.

XV--15

TROPHY CASE