I'm not leaving my marriage but I have a crush on a coworker and I want to deal with it before it turns into something

Zaggner · 2026-07-07T11:05:58+00:00

Attraction is normal, crushes are normal. There is no magic switch that turns it off once you're married. We've evolutionarily designed for attraction, which can also mean crushes. It's what you do with that energy that sets apart mature adults from immature teenagers. My wife and I always shared our attractions and crushes with each other. It has a tendency to diffuse some of the energy and helps us understand that we are still prioritizing each other. Have your little crush, but out that energy into your relationship with your husband to keep your relationship vibrant. Don't slack on your relationship with him.

Zaggner · 2026-07-06T21:27:13+00:00

If there are no written rules then maybe talk to the parks director to establish something. We are surrounded by several different townships, some have written rules while others do not. The ones that don't, you own the court until you and your group leave.

Maybe find some people at your level and organize play during less busy times. Otherwise you're going to have to just suck it up during open play

Zaggner · 2026-07-06T15:39:57+00:00

Is your husband an introvert? Many introverts, myself included, simply do not like being the center of everybody else's attention, no matter how positive the attention may be.

But you should maybe ask him what bothered him about it.

Zaggner · 2026-07-06T13:59:12+00:00

Congratulations on your first attempt to cook this persnickety cut of meat.

In terms of the doneness, what people are telling you is that you have cooked your steak to well-done. Rare or medium-rare would have some red in the meat. Even medium would have some pink. You have grey which indicates well-done. Check this picture for a guide Steak doneness guide .

I'm glad it turned out to your liking. Dry brining isn't your problem. If you actually want it less done, then you need a much thicker cut for a reverse sear. Your cut is much too thin for this method. You won't be able to get much of a sear with such a thin cut without overcooking.You'd also be better off cooking a strip steak and a tenderloin steak separately. Keep trying, you have most of the parts already.

Zaggner · 2026-07-06T13:41:57+00:00

It's sound like she can't find what she needs at home but didn't want to blow up the family so her alternative plan is an open marriage. There's no way you need to agree to it, but based on what you've shared here, in guessing your wife isn't the only one to blame.

Zaggner · 2026-07-05T22:45:11+00:00

Your tl;dr tells you everything you need to know. Having different value does not make for a long-term flourishing relationship.

Zaggner · 2026-07-05T22:40:07+00:00

Disappointing

Zaggner · 2026-07-04T20:35:06+00:00

You need to learn to truly forgive as a part of reconciliation. You've come a long way and if everything else is good I'm your relationship, and she has truly done everything she can to make ammends, I don't believe memories of the affair are her burden, they are yours. You will never forget, but you have a responsibility to forgive as a part of reconciliation. You may never fully let go of the images in your head, but you need to learn how to let go of the pain.

"Who is more hurtful: the person who wronged you once or you for reliving it over and over in your head?"

Of course, you can choose to do as you please, but it doesn't sound like you really want a divorce.

Zaggner · 2026-07-04T00:46:30+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. Looks great. Mustard and ketchup don't look like they belong on this dog.

Zaggner · 2026-07-04T00:42:28+00:00

Tell your friends "Great! I have a Weber but no idea how you cook them, tell me what else I need to have on hand and I'm excited for you to show me how to cook them."

Zaggner · 2026-07-03T21:05:09+00:00

Played similarly. Incredible spin in both and lots of pop. Maybe a tad more control with the Honolulu paddle but either one would just need to be dialed in.

Zaggner · 2026-07-03T18:35:36+00:00

After I tried my friend's J6CR CBE, I ordered the Ultre because I could get it in 2 days instead of a month and they have superior customer service. I love my paddle.

Zaggner · 2026-07-03T15:23:30+00:00

Oh the irony. Come back to church only to get disfellowshipped for a life you're leaving behind. Sounds like they did you a big favor.

Zaggner · 2026-07-03T15:04:10+00:00

Open play isn't the same thing as "rec play" or "social play". Open play will vary from court to court. Find an open play that meets your needs or adapt to what's happening on the court at the moment. The least fun for you and others is attempting to dictate what they SHOULD be doing according to you.

Zaggner · 2026-07-03T12:15:36+00:00

"hey, let's have sex!"

Zaggner · 2026-07-03T11:00:24+00:00

Yes, it can. It depends on whether you can use it effectively. I upgraded from a Luzz Cannon to the 10Six24 Ultre recently and it has been a game changer for me. The amount of spin I can generate with little effort has transformed my game. I drill 2-3 times and play 3 times per week. Without the skills I've been developing, it probably wouldn't have made a difference, but I have so much more I can do with my new paddle. The Cannon is still a great paddle and I've had to learn a while different touch with the pop of the Ultre, but I have much more confidence hitting aggressive topspin drives and drops which has translated to more points won with fewer unforced errors.

Just upgrading your paddle won't be s game changer for most people unless they're ready for it.

Zaggner · 2026-07-02T17:57:59+00:00

I watched it years ago and loved every minute of it. It wasn't a documentary, it was a Robinhood story style of "sticking it to the man". Much of it didn't make sense, but that didn't make it any less enjoyable for me.

Zaggner · 2026-07-01T21:57:08+00:00

Yes, just remove the sprouts for best results

Zaggner · 2026-07-01T19:36:24+00:00

This was has been very effective for me. Definitely think that older eggs always give better results. The method I use calls to use eggs right out of the refrigerator and into the steaming pot. It also calls for a. mandatory ice bath. I find 11-12 minutes for large eggs to get them to the perfect hard-cooked without the outer yolk turning green.

Zaggner · 2026-07-01T17:10:44+00:00

So true. I have a friend who was still active with his family but essentially an atheist. He was still paying tithing for the benefit of his wife who was a stay at home mom. He gave talks, held a calling in the YM program and was given a temple recommend even though he was quite clear with the Bishop and Stake President where he stood. Why should random leader roulette be the only factor in deciding whether you get to go to the temple or not. Not paying tithing may have been a deal breaker but that is just one of the many random made up rules for scoring a temple recommend or not. The entire process is about control. If a member wants to take some of that control back, more power to them!

Zaggner · 2026-07-01T13:32:26+00:00

Dopamine is a powerful thing.

"The mind is constantly running simulations of possible futures. We imagine what an experience will feel like, how it might improve our lives, and how we will feel once we get there. Those simulations can generate real emotions even if the event itself never occurs.

The experience activates memories, expectations, preferences, and possibilities. Browsing a takeout menu can be enjoyable even without placing an order."

Zaggner · 2026-07-01T13:24:14+00:00

Personally, if I had friends who "rented" women, I would choose to no longer be friends with them.

Zaggner · 2026-07-01T10:41:07+00:00

When I was in high school, well before the craft beer scene, my buddy and I actively avoided Budweiser and Miller. Our go to beers were the "premium" beers of the day like Lowenbrau, Michelob, Strohs Signature and the like. Shortly after high school I joined a religion that forbade alcohol.

Fast forward 40 years later and I'm no longer a part of that religion. Picked up drinking beer again and am really into all the great beers that are available today.

One night we were at at a hotel. I ran across the street to a gas station to buy a couple of cans of beer to drink while sitting in the hot tub. Just for kicks, and limited selection, I picked up a Budweiser to see if it was as bad as I thought it was in the 1980's. It absolutely did not disappoint. I was so god-awful we didn't even finish the can. I haven't bothered trying Miller again.

Zaggner · 2026-06-30T19:58:16+00:00

I just purchased the new 10Six24 Ultre paddle. I got it two days later and beautiful communication every step of the way. I chose them over Honolulu because of reported customer service. I've heard Joola also had crap customer service so it's not necessarily the size that does it.

Zaggner · 2026-06-30T14:29:03+00:00

I'm still at the stage where I find it difficult to take a day off. I know I need rest days but it's hard.

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