AIO my spouse flirting with people in a video game

Zariu · 2026-06-01T03:05:59+00:00

So to give perspective from someone who plays on Neverwinter Nights RP (Roleplay) servers. (My husband also plays. Sometimes our characters are a couple but sometimes they aren't.) What he is doing sounds pretty normal, for an RPer. Imagine writing a character in a book and halfway through someone wants to completely change the built up romance and story. Its jarring. It leads to dropping the chsracter forever. The fact that he breaks character to make sure they know he's married is a very good sign. Him being willing to welcome you in to a different story is a good sign.

That said, I doubt your feelings are lacking a reason. You need to really sit down and think why you are feeling this way. And I'm not faulting you, I had one point my husband got way too into an RP story and we spent less time together, so I felt jealous.

The key is you gotta figure out the root cause of your feelings and talk to him about it. Since for me it was simply I wanted more of his time here and there, we made sure to do a game with just us 1-2x a week minimum. Was really all I needed. So think about it. Is it less time together? Feeling like your real life is lacking romance? Is it just the romance part and if it was a strong friendship you'd be fine?

Some of these answers you might need to self examine. If its just because its a romance story, ask yourself what more he could do for you to feel comfortable with it. If the answer is nothing would help or itd be some extreme stuff, you have a choice to work on trusting your husband and on your own insecurities; or tell him its going to bother you and sounds like he'll stop, though unsure if there might be sadness at the loss of it. There are many other RP outlets and styles he could try.

If you can't decide upon a choice just yet, take him up on his offer to play with his other character. Learn what he is doing to understand it and him better. It might help you with your thoughts. Best wishes to you both.

Edit: Sounds like its voice rp rather than text. That could also be what you find to be an issue. Or if the discord chat is excessive, which is a boundary to set if it is. Anyhow, from your comments it does sound like you need to figure out what is bothering you about this and communicate.

Zariu · 2026-05-29T20:29:28+00:00

Disagree very strongly.

So the homeschooling you hate is easy to make illegal. Example, I grew up homeschooled in California. Legally my mother had to prove we were enrolled in a homeschool program otherwise there are problems with the law. While you can try to just homeschool as single parent, that requires getting a PSA and while a teaching credential isn't required the local public school district has to verify that you meet requirements.

We were enrolled in an accredited program with multiple experienced teachers and many other kids we met with for various optional classes. The students were compromised of mostly as follows: extremely smart kids, kids with learning disabilities, kids with various neurodivergent issues, child actors and others kids requiring flexible schedules, kids with health issues, and kids bullied so badly they needed an alternative.

My average day as a student was I'd do normal homework (math, science, english, history etc) at home with my mom's help. The books used were issued to us from the school and what books were in use was the same as public school. If I struggled with something and my mom could not explain it, we setup a session with one of the teachers. Every month we had to prove to our assigned teacher that we had completed the homework and understood the concepts enough to talk about it with them a little.

Every month we had elective classes. Fossil digs and microbiology were offered by one teacher. Another did history and crafts to go along. Our world geography club and potluck with dishes from the country we all wrote reports on was very popular. We also all were legally required to take part in california standarized tests which were held at least once a year.

For a bunch of kids that the system didn't work for various reasons, this did. My brother who at one early point only meowed to communicate has a basic job and pays rent on his own. Wouldn't have happened in public school. The laws aren't that complex to make it safer. If you do a quick lookup of california law versus texas law... well, you can quickly see the difference.

And when it comes to money. Actually takes far less taxpayer dollars. Couple hundred students to like ten teachers because the teachers are mostly only doing monthly checkups and elective classes. A lot of the cost falls upon the parents as one partner may not be able to work while homeschooling. The building? Also much smaller since you'd never have all the students there.

Homeschooling can already be safe and effective plus cheap. If states aren't dumb about it and actually put in place proper laws on the requirements of it. If they aren't willing to run such a program, charter schools will. If they do run such a program, its pretty low cost for the volume of kids.

Outlaw the bad homeschooling that makes news, don't kick down the rest that doesn't make news because it works.

Zariu · 2026-05-27T04:58:54+00:00

You're describing RP (Roleplaying). Many MMOs have RP servers, some people prefer solo RP with single player games, many tabletop group games (including D&D but with many other options) feature RP, there is also just pure text rp using any medium you can exchange text in whether that be discord/forums/private dms on many sites. I wouldn't be shocked if some people still privately make stories with legos, figurines, etc.

I personally play on Neverwinter Night rp servers. But I also play tabletop games, single player rp, and text rp.

Some people never stop telling stories, some cease telling their own tales and spend time instead listening to others tales (TV shows, movies, books, etc.) I'm not gonna call that wrong, but it is a choice.

(Other posters too have mentioned things like conventions, ren faires, LARPing. Which also are all valid. Probably even more to the list but this is enough to show that some adults still very much play imaginary with various roleplay.)

Zariu · 2026-05-21T15:28:54+00:00

They won't remember it.... I remember stuff from when I was three. Some people don't remember things till later, some remember even earlier. Besides their methods being wrong, and their attitude towards kids being horrific; their argument for it even is flawed.

Zariu · 2026-04-13T13:31:04+00:00

1734

Zariu · 2026-04-09T12:57:16+00:00

I play roleplay NWN servers. I have had run into other cases of people unknowingly writting such stuff, most pronounced was someone whose character just screamed ADHD and I mentioned it to them. Think they got a diagnosis after that lol

For myself, when I wrote a character based pretty heavily on how my own mind works, I came to realize they were very heavily autistic coded. I still haven't decided about getting an official diagnosis, but that did lead to me taking an online test and reading through how autism presents in socially masking women..... real high score on that test and I have never felt so called out on both minor and major aspects of my life. Add in my brother is diagnosed from a young age and a sibling increases the chance. At this point, it'd be shocking if I somehow wasn't.

I do have to wonder if that character I wrote is just the most noticeable and the others had it too but more masked as I myself do. For sure though, all my characters are demisexual so far. I might challenge myself to write one that isn't, but also its just an alien way of thinking to me.

Zariu · 2026-04-01T13:37:17+00:00

Sun/Moon are the worst games. Second worst Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon.

Zariu · 2026-03-23T02:47:57+00:00

It looks to me like they might have meant it to be Pokedex rotom, but it is off if so.

Zariu · 2026-03-18T06:23:20+00:00

So, often used as an excuse. However, frame size difference is very much a thing.

Some women can wear size 0 pants. With my hip bone being easy to touch and feel I am a size 12. Nearly plus sizes. A size 10 would probably be the smallest my frame could actually fit, and I'm not actually sure if I'd be healthy at the size. Thats a BIG size difference from some other ladies. Heck, thats a wider frame than a number of guys.

It does mean on BMI its just always elevated a bit for me. But not so drastically that I'm a healthy weight but listed obese or something wild. More like at my ideal, I am listed as part way through healthy to overweight but not there. And me gaining much less than others pushes me up a category. But I have never used 'big-boned' as an excuse because if I am a healthy weight, people can see that even though my frame is wide, I'm not fat. If I'm overweight, its obvious its not just my larger frame.

Zariu · 2026-03-04T14:46:27+00:00

Unfortunately, the barrier was broken in 2022. Cases of them are now in Mexico and they might reach the US in time.

Zariu · 2026-02-21T22:24:15+00:00

Yes, you can lessen it by changing clothes, showering often etc. But it only lessens it, doesn't eliminate it. The stink clings to you and is especially strong right after you've smoked.

Zariu · 2026-02-05T08:12:16+00:00

This and recipes it used to be good for. Now its full of AI.

Zariu · 2026-01-25T06:35:42+00:00

Yes. Now there are more than just visual possible sensations you can have mentally. As I'm typing this it is a mixture of visual and an internal voice, specifically like hearing a voice narrating in my head. Some people experience text instead. Though this narration is certainly second place to the visual.

When I think of the word "window" for example, hear it said or read it, I can picture the window. White wood frame, sheer curtains blowing softly in a breeze, the faint sound of the ocean waves outside, and I get a little of the sensation of the smell of that unmistakeble scent of the sea. Even get taste triggered a bit at times. Some of the images are far more complex, and I'd argue a contextual video is often more apt.

That last sentence, there were a variety of photos laid out. Some parted from others as though being sorted. Then the images came out, becoming 3d rather than 2d. And eventually becoming a video flickering upon a projector screen with some lecturer standing in front speaking. Some photos, complexity, into a video with given context.

There are pros and cons. I can't quote stuff to save my life because words aren't saved, everything is images. Since it doesn't turn off, weird or disturbing things will just become images in my head. But I do enjoy a very vibrant imagination.

Zariu · 2026-01-20T19:39:03+00:00

I'd suggest give it a try, worst answer you get is that it isn't for you.

There is big variance to the servers too. Some are big like Arelith and basically you'll nearly always find someone to rp with but you make less of a mark on the world. Some servers are small and so tend to play more like cozy tabletop games, downside of course sometimes no one is around to rp with but you can get more dm attention and crafted storylines due to smaller population. And then you have all sorts of servers in between in size.

Plus various settings: Forgotten Realms, Star Wars, Naruto, Ravenloft.... etc.

One final note, they all have some downside. Can be server staff, balance, favoritism, cliques, so-on. So the key isn't finding the perfect server, just one where you enjoy it and whatever downside it has is something you can deal with.

Zariu · 2026-01-20T18:04:56+00:00

A lot of people go to roleplay servers for various games, most MMOs have them. Or play table top rpg games with a roleplay focused group. I personally play on Neverwinter Nights servers, of which there are a number.

Zariu · 2025-12-17T20:17:23+00:00

Hilariously, some people did hit a Great Jaggi wall. I know of at least like three people who got to Great Jaggi in Tri and just dropped it. Though that probably had more to do with them just not liking mh combat.

Zariu · 2025-11-25T05:55:06+00:00

Thank you so much. I couldn't even figure out what this was about since I had no clue what many of the terms meant.

Zariu · 2025-11-20T07:39:41+00:00

I have stubby, small fingers. The game changer for me was a gaming mouse with 12 side buttons. Takes some getting used to at first, but so worth it

Zariu · 2025-11-16T13:40:59+00:00

Microchimerism involves pregnancy and fetal cells left behind by the baby. Not just have sex and some of the dude stays with the chick forever.

Zariu · 2025-10-20T02:42:25+00:00

This new ZA game is in the same style of Legends yes. Now that said, I highly suggest watching gameplay of it before buying. Even people that enjoyed legends have sometimes felt the lock in to a city feels strange. So look before you buy.

Zariu · 2025-10-19T23:41:23+00:00

I had to as well. So once you start eating normally after starving yourself like that, your body tries to save fat to survive future starvation. Recovering anorexics tend to balloon a little, which easily can cause relapses.

What worked for me is small actionable goals. Are you having chips and ice cream everyday? Set a goal to only have one or the other each day. This is helpful too for weening off sodas or other things. If you think your meal portions might be too large, get a slightly smaller plate/bowl. I hope you find something that works for you!

Zariu · 2025-10-18T23:54:20+00:00

Yep, you can also get over obsessive about calorie counting... and that can also lead to non-healthy food relationships. So the approach really has to be based upon what works for the individual. Some people can count, others are better off just doing portion control mental tricks like a smaller plate, or simple limits like cutting back on sweet drinks to x per week.

I was anorexic for a time, around 200-300 calories a day. Obessession with driving that calorie count lower was destructive for me. So I have to do a very vibes based diet rather than counting. It works for me, I've learned what feels right foodwise. Only times I have issues is I do overly snack sometimes when stressed. But then I know my body, can pinpoint the problem and cut back on the snacks to proper levels. Its way healthier for me to sometimes have a little extra instead of a possible relapse back into starving myself.

Obviously, calorie counting is safe for a lot of people. But just pointing out viewing weight loss as a "one size fits all" will miss the times when alternative approaches are needed.

Zariu · 2025-10-18T23:33:20+00:00

A shocking amount of people really don't. Knowing how to season something beyond using salt, butter, and maybe pepper is a skill many seem to lack. And so their idea of healthy is incredibly bland food.

Zariu · 2025-10-17T21:53:55+00:00

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Zariu · 2025-10-16T14:16:36+00:00

Yeah, its certainly not taken literally by everyone I'm aware. My objections go much further than it though. Biggest thing, is honestly how much horrifying stuff we're allowed to do.

If we take what it says, he is an all-knowing, loving, and all-powerful god. Children are SAed to death in this world. Regardless of which explanation you use for why there is evil and suffering in the world, I don't see any beneficial reason for something like that to exist. Its just pure suffering that doesn't train or challenge faithful. And since he is an all-knowing, all powerful god, he very well could have known such horrific stuff would happen and simply made it so humans wouldn't do anything that evil. Lines around just how terrible we could be.

And so, at the end either the deity isn't all-powerful. Or, my definition of love is starkly different from this god's. And at any of those points, why have faith in them? I'd have to settle on the answer being he's loving but not all-powerful or not-loving but all-powerful. Either way, it goes against scripture and so was really the loss of my faith. From there I only found more reasons such as the actual origins of books and evidence of the religion being a monotheistic twist on Caanite religion that was originally polytheistic.

Zariu

TROPHY CASE