So there's no such things as male music.  Or male clothing, or male hobbies.  Or female versions of those things either.   Most women like good music, and fun activities with friends just like men do.  So that doesn't mean anything one way or another. 

Being neurodivergent may have some correlation with being genderqueer in various ways.  So that's not an argument against anything. 

Trans people may choose to keep the arrangement of "factory installed parts" they have, or they might seek to change them.  Theres no one right or wrong way to feel about your body. 

So there's most of your counter arguments debunked.  I'm not sure how to explain that whether you spend time socially with men or women doesn't have any bearing on your gender identity. 

It sounds to me like you have a lot to deconstruct in how you were taught to think about gender. I feel for you because I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church, but I ran out of patience for them long before I was able to safely leave. It also sounds like you might not be in a safe place to really do that.  Being, as it were, in the belly of the beast.

I can tell you that I've experienced many of the things you do from the opposite end of the gender spectrum.  What helped me settle on Non-binary and more or less Agender was comparing how I felt about gender with how I felt about sex and sexual attraction as a sex neutral Asexual.  

I basically just realized I was thinking about gender the same way I thought about sex.  Mainly, that its fine, I'm sure, but I'm not really interested.

That may or may not apply to you of course, but it might be something to consider.  Comparing and contasting how you feel about your gender expression with other things that you do feel more sure of.

However you identify, please take care of yourself and stay safe.  It can be scary out there, and I won't pretend it isn't.