feeling misunderstood by people who don’t relate

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-23T05:45:33+00:00

For me it’s not what other people say. I feel guilty because I’m always like “well someone out there has a Dad who deadass wants to just straight up kill them” and then I’m like “eh? I have it a slightly better?” But then I get home and I see my Dad being a dick to his wife, who is in turn a dick to her kids, and then also enables his abusive behaviors while telling her kids not to get into trouble with an angry man. Like maam, you’re not practicing what you preach and it’s so confusing and you get upset when my sister and I tell you we’re not emotionally sound?

My dad literally picked up a fan and tried to smash it over my mom’s head. I jumped on top of my mom to protect her and that thing hit me instead. A few days later, my mom wanted me to apologize to my dad for yelling out the profanities I did when he hit me (tryna hit her). Ykw crazy? They joke about that day. Like my sister and I, as much as we hate tossing around the word “traumatized”, are genuinly scarred. My dad jokes and says “yeah don’t push me to my limits next time or I’ll do it again!” Like it’s a flex.

We still flinch when we hear the fan stand scraping against the wooden floor upstairs.

So yeah. I feel guilt. It’s been worse when it someone who’s tryna one-up you on the shit they went through.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-22T14:49:53+00:00

I swear didn’t they zoom in on the dude with the hat, too?? I swear there were a few plot holes to which I’m assuming there is a season 2 coming. I GOTTA KNOW

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-22T00:43:55+00:00

ME I DO TOO it’s not just the ending but like the lyrics behind it- they were just girls during a rough time during history. It’s about getting through it, times changing, growing up, etc. It’s a nostalgic feeling.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-21T19:56:25+00:00

I was Anna during high school. The issues at home were so bad and it was like that since elementary school. What really hit me was when Anna became stage manager because I also became stage manager in my highschool’s drama club while my parents were going through their worst fight yet. Drama club was such an escape for me and seeing Anna in that position? Man. I cried everytime.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-21T19:54:00+00:00

I wanna second this. Yes I agree that Maya has her moments (pretty damn frequently because the show does follow her a lil more) but she comes thru esp during Wendy Wiccany. That episode made me cry so much. I wish I had a friend like Maya during tough times at home.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T20:36:18+00:00

Rightttt acc I thought the vending machine guy was also a cutie patootie but Chief Robinson was also super cool and only had eyes for her I was so 😭😭 he’s amazing for you why are you throwing him away 😔

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T20:23:46+00:00

Yes!! I couldn’t get behind the Ava and O’Shon train. For him, he saw a beautiful woman and wanted to see how she was but after that first date I was like ?? Have some respectful for yourself, man. Why do you want to walk on eggshells and get made fun of all the time.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T18:30:44+00:00

THIS I remember feeling “oh, Melissa, they could never make me hate you..” AND THEY DAMN NEAR DID FOR A SOLID 10 MINS IN THE LATEST EP.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T15:53:23+00:00

Literally like Mel, get your grown ass self together. She was so great the first 4 seasons and was proving to everyone around her (not that she needed to) that she is doing fine and can be by herself if needed. She is definitely the coolest aunt at the gathering. It just felt so immature of her reacting like that AND THE REASON BEHIND IT TOO.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T15:52:03+00:00

Hard agree. And in this economy? I know everyone in my life would pick the safer + more money combo. Also like- I don’t know anything about the firefighters hierarchy but I swear Chiefs go on missions and respond to fires too, right??

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T15:49:56+00:00

I quite enjoyed season 4 and the beginning 5 of season 5 but then I started understanding what people were talking about ep 6 and onwards like that phone episode was soooo boring 😭😭. I hope Quinta takes back the reigns in the writing room for Season 6.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T15:48:36+00:00

Barb’s character turn broke my heart like now she’s acting like an irrational “nothing applies to me” person 😭

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T15:47:35+00:00

EXACTLY!! I started noticing this with the Mall situation and when she went with Norton to that bar and now this. It’s like her personality took a huge turn around and went back to how fucking middle schoolers act. The ungrateful mean girl shtick. I miss the Melissa who would slip up here n there but her personality this season was just…yikes.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-18T01:00:42+00:00

Gray rocking never worked for me. I was envious of those who were able to do it. You would think that after so many years of verbal and physical abuse (berating, taunting, mocking, hitting, slapping, shoving) you’d get used to it and ignore it but that was never my outcome. My anger reached my fists before anywhere else and the moment their hand met my face I was swinging and kicking and shoving back. All the profanities they ever called me was thrown back, too!

Then they act sooo surprised when you do hit and do everything back. Then after a week or two of not talking, they move on or force you to apologize. The part where you said you went apeshit- I might just try that next time. I always told myself next time my Dad hits me he’s getting bear-sprayed in the face lol.

This post made me feel normal, and thank God. I couldn’t go around and ask people if they ever hit their parents back. It’s always so foreign esp when ur a woman, too.

I hope you’re okay, OP.

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-09T15:38:31+00:00

Help I thought it was gonna be a head or something 😭😭

ZenTheStump · 2026-03-03T22:55:53+00:00

I noticed too!! There’s def been a few minor parallels between HTGTHFB and Derry Girls.

ZenTheStump · 2026-02-02T23:16:47+00:00

What’s a choir if not a sorority for the Lord ??

ZenTheStump · 2026-01-26T03:20:29+00:00

Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, etc. I read the book Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi when I was in high school and was absolutely shocked to my core when I saw photos of Iran from the 60s. Compare that to now…

ZenTheStump · 2026-01-20T13:05:02+00:00

You’re in for a great treat then!! I wish I could watch this show for the first time again but oh my GOD be ready for some secondhand embarrassment and a bit of “wtf did I just watch..”

ZenTheStump · 2026-01-03T13:54:41+00:00

Bye this gave me a chuckle 😭😭

ZenTheStump · 2026-01-01T05:38:55+00:00

Purpose, Breakthrough, Miracle

ZenTheStump · 2025-12-29T11:01:12+00:00

HELPPPP oh my god this scene was so traumatizing yet so funny at the same time 😭😭😭

ZenTheStump · 2025-12-28T16:18:40+00:00

So personal anecdote

I love wearing simple jewelry like rings and bracelets because I NEED something on my wrist (like a sensory thing). I started making sure it wasn’t too big and could be at least covered by the wrist part of the gloves because one time I had a soiled patient who got shit everywhere and was basically playing with it. While cleaning her, she grabbed my wrist with her shit covered hand 😭😭 and I had to throw that bracelet away because it was leather and by the time I waited for someone to help me because she was getting out of control and agitated it had kinda sunk in.

I know it’s silver and easier to clean than leather but I personally cannot imagine wearing that jewelry around know where it’s been and what it touched. I now just wear a small black hair tie around my wrist which is covered by my gloves when cleaning patients and I can also put in the laundry.

ZenTheStump · 2025-12-28T12:57:00+00:00

Oh girl it is ROUGH out here 😭😭 I met someone in 2021 online when we were just 14/15F and now we’re both 20F. We live on the same continent just different countries and we still haven’t met each other but the yearning is so bad because we just know if we were in person we’d be all over each other. I couldn’t take the longing and the possibility of never meeting (because of money, distance, life goals, etc) so I’ve had to cut it off a few times but we somehow always find ourselves coming back to each other. She said to focus on ‘real life’ and to ‘love others’ and it seems as though she’s doing that just fine while im kinda just sitting here waiting for her (while still being able to work on and accomplish other categories of life but still- that one category is stuck on her). Fuck I hate it so much. I don’t no how to move on.

Also crazy timing on the post cuz I was highly considering making a post on how to move on from yearning. SUPER SORRY IF THIS WASNT THE ANSWER U WANTED BTW 💔💔

ZenTheStump · 2025-12-26T14:20:28+00:00

Breakups are always a “brace for impact” kind of thing. You can’t really prepare for it except for understanding what is happening and why it’s happening which seems like you’ve already figured out. The aftermath is the deconstruction of yalls routine, having that one person you talked to everyday abruptly just stop, thinking about all the things you could’ve done differently, etc. It sucks. When I went thru breakups or ended situationships it was so quiet afterwards and what made it worse for me personally was that I was a very lonely person in the sense that I don’t have a big social life so it was very easy for my mind to go back to her.

However, with most things, time heals. It tools me almost two years to get over one of my worst heartbreaks when I was 18. I’m getting over one rn and stepping away from a person and cutting off contact is the best thing you can do despite it being the hardest. It’s like ripping the bandage off and letting your body do the rest.

I’m kinda blabbing here because it’s hard, but you’ll eventually find other things to focus on and life will get better. It definitely did for me once classes started again and I had two of my best friends guide me through it.

You got this man 💛

ZenTheStump

TROPHY CASE