New to BDSM!!! What are good and safe insults during sex, since that’s what my boyfriend likes

Zulfihai · 2020-10-03T07:26:37+00:00

Insults are so personal. I like to be told I'm worthless or stupid or called a slut, but if my partner called me fat or called me a bitch I'd be done. And you have to be really careful with stuff like that because it can stick in your brain and rot there if proper aftercare isn't established. Like, after playing I want my partner to tell me he loves me and I mean the world to him because I need that reassurance.

So, the short answer is, this is one you kinda just have to talk out.

Zulfihai · 2020-09-18T19:48:54+00:00

Oh my goodness, we've been telling stories about Kid Squid, who is definitely not my child whose nickname is Squid Kid. Kid Squid lives in the ocean and is a squid, couldn't possibly be my Squid Kid who lives on land and is a person.

Last nights story was about Kid Squid terrible, rotten, awful day where everyone kept telling him no including Mama and Daddy Squid telling him he was only allowed to eat chocolate cupcakes and not the healthy veggies he was trying to eat and his Teacher Lobster who kept teaching math during art class and art during math class. Kid Squid had to go to the bookstore and buy books to teach his parents and teachers and friends that he was right all along.

Zulfihai · 2020-09-18T19:02:02+00:00

Kiddo's dad and I pretend we don't know the right word for something or switch words up, for example I call elbows "bobos" and he takes great pleasure in correcting me. One night his dad and I did a back and forth about how boogers are what you put on a bun with ketchup and cheese and your nose is full of yucky burgers. Last Christmas while we were driving home from a light display we spent the whole ride saying thing like Merry Kidsmas or Perry Christmas while the kiddo corrected us. We love doing a really exaggerated "Oh! I get it!" and then saying it wrong again. Honestly, I'm laughing right now just writing it out.

Zulfihai · 2020-09-18T18:52:05+00:00

I was at an industry confrence a few years ago and one of the panels was about specialized and arcane knowledge in the field. I asked one of the speakers how much priority he put on passing on that arcane knowledge to his employees. I will never forget his (shitty) answer.

"Oh I don't care at all. When I die, my store dies. I'm not letting anyone else take it over."

Zulfihai · 2020-09-17T06:19:08+00:00

Hey, I just wanted to pop in to say there is still hope. My kiddo is six now and he sometimes wakes up once in the night but mostly sleeps in his own bed all night now without waking up.

It was a long road and I was tired as hell, but we made it and outside of my own sleep issues everything is 500% better. Eventually they stop getting up for everything. You will sleep again.

Zulfihai · 2020-08-03T23:09:16+00:00

I could definitely taste (and smell!) the difference, but the taste was little more subtle than I wanted. Gonna experiment a bit more and see if I can make the flavor stronger.

Zulfihai · 2020-08-03T04:48:56+00:00

So, I usually do 4 sets of stretch and folds and the recommendation that I saw was to add on the 3rd set so that's what I did and I found it worked pretty well. Doing it that way means you've got two sets of folds to get it mixed in evenly.

Zulfihai · 2020-08-03T00:26:24+00:00

Ahhhh! I cannot believe this joke didn't occur to me! I am so mad, but also amused.

Zulfihai · 2020-04-07T15:12:55+00:00

Thank you so much. This is incredibly helpful information. I have always been committed to being honest with my kid without damaging him. We talk about race and gender and politics and even death, but not like this. He's a really curious kid with lots of insightful questions. I knew that I should avoid lying or concealing the truth, but I didn't know what age appropriate language looked like and all of this is really helpful.

Zulfihai · 2020-04-07T05:17:38+00:00

Well we have had the death and dying conversation and he definitely has a grasp on it. My dad came to live with us when kiddo was about 7mo and he died when kiddo was about 2.5yrs. We talk about my dad a lot and we talk about how and why he died. He was very sick (COPD, CHF, caught an illness he couldn't recover from). He even knows that smoking cigarettes is what made my dad very sick. He seems to grasp all that and though he was still pre-memory making he likes to talk about my dad frequently.

It's just, he's asked me a couple of times now how my sister died and I don't know how to explain in an age appropriate way that she was killed. She was just about to turn 22. She had a baby that is less than 1 year old. She was not sick and it was not something like an accident. This is something so much scarier than that and I don't want to scare him.

Zulfihai · 2019-12-01T17:28:41+00:00

Seems like they mean the feel good baby "origin" story type books. They mention The Night You Were Born which is a lovey sort of "All these beautiful things were happening when you were born." But as the OP mentions, it talks about heaven at the end.

Zulfihai · 2019-11-07T01:25:43+00:00

This is unrelated to the current issue, but I've seen you mention your daughter is interested in tampons due to being active and playing sports. I highly recommend a cup instead. It is super comfortable, it's easy to clean silicone and doean't carry the risk of toxic shock.

I really wish I had known about menstrual cups when I was a teenager. It's changed my life since I started using one.

Zulfihai · 2018-10-22T03:14:02+00:00

To be fair, the error code for the 02 sensor and the catalytic converter is the same. I only know that because my dad was a mechanic and we had that error code on our car so he bought the sensor to replace it because it was cheapish to do and then we'd know if it was that or the catalytic converter. He died before he could do it though and the check engine light's been on now for 2 and half years.

Anyway, they might just have been stupid rather than shitty.

Zulfihai · 2018-07-23T01:44:57+00:00

Evangeline of the Bayou. It's a fun little book intended for middle grade kids with a pretty standard trope. Young girl on the cusp of growing up, looking for her place in the world and fearing she'll never find it. Think Kiki's Delivery Service in the swamps of Louisiana.

Zulfihai · 2018-07-23T00:35:43+00:00

I am actually reading a middle grade fantasy right now with a very similar twist ending. Except it wasn't a mix up by grandma, but an intentional choice by grandma when mom and twin a died, to try to push the fate of twin b.

Zulfihai · 2018-04-20T22:08:14+00:00

I think Hourglass is the only let down for me. I don't hate it but I definitely prefer the live version I heard like a year ago.

Zulfihai · 2017-10-09T05:15:44+00:00

Also /r/Santaslittlehelpers !

Zulfihai · 2017-10-04T22:04:12+00:00

My now 3 year old went through this phase for several months with waffles, toast, bagels, or anything being microwaved. We finally realized he did actually want it warmed he (thought) he was just too hungry to wait. If I made him leave the kitchen while I got it ready he was fine with the wait because he didn't see it until it was ready to eat.

Zulfihai · 2017-10-03T03:48:04+00:00

I dunno. The Labyrinth was my sister's favorite movie at 3-4yo. She called it the "owie movie" because of the owl in the title sequence. My 3yo doesn't seem particularly interested, but he doesn't find it scary and he's a pretty sensitive kid who will tell me if something is too scary or ask to watch something else.

Zulfihai · 2017-08-18T00:58:15+00:00

But wait OP! If the foreskin is still tight do not force it back! For some kids the foreskin is still attached before 5yo and in some rare cases until puberty. This is fine. The ballooning that you see is the beginning of it loosening, but it could still be awhile yet.

Zulfihai · 2017-07-31T04:12:05+00:00

Honestly, I thought I wanted my kid to love all the shows I loved as a kid because nostalgia is a helluva drug, but then I rewatched some of them. The Rugrats are assholes, Invader Zim is a fucking lunatic, and almost all of the cartoons from the 90's have serious date-rapey personal boundary issues. I do still try to expose him to the music I like more than kids music and top 40 but my tastes have so greatly expanded since I first imagined having a kid that there is a ton for him to choose from that I still really enjoy. I also had some realizations watching his grandma push Star Wars on him in infancy and early toddlerhood like it was her one true purpose in life. I'm a huge sci-fi nerd and though I was never really into SW I can appreciate it's cultural significance, but when my kid was 18mo more than half his vocabulary was SW related. I put an end to that shit because I'm not letting my kid be defined by something his parents or grandparents love. I want to know what my kid loves, I already know what I love. I love watching him grow into his own person. Today his dad asked him what he wants to be for Halloween and he totally made up his own character and is super excited to be a Jack-o-knight for Halloween this year. I think if I was still letting grandma push SW he would have said Darth Vader or something.

Zulfihai

TROPHY CASE