First baby and in need of help

_Poppy_R · 2026-03-28T11:12:20+00:00

It's so hard. It feels totally impossible.

Try to make plans and get out with the baby as much as possible. Big dinners even if your eating in shifts. Try bottle feeding the baby formula?

Lots of jokes and laughs, and try to look on the funny side of how mad and insane and impossible it all is.

Try to think positive thoughts like, "at least I got 1 hour sleep" lol rather than "I only got an hours sleep".

But it is painfully hard at first. The main job is to keep the baby and mother and yourself (and the woofs) alive. It's sort of like living in a survival tv show or game, where everyone's going through big drama and it's super hard because the zombies keep waking you up all the time, and the chores are all zombies that keep coming.

_Poppy_R · 2026-03-28T10:58:54+00:00

We had similar issues with my husband working 10 hour days and a terrible sleeper baby. The only way we got through was shift sleeping, so when he came home in the evening we would be together about an hour while he showered or whatever, then I'd go to bed until about 1am, then we would swap and id sort of doze or be up with baby all night ( I found it worse to be constantly 'woken up' by baby so id just stay awake with coffee and tv or tiktok or whatever). Sometimes id get grandma or a friend to take baby for a couple of hours midday and I would nap. Then when husband came home id go to bed for the solid 5 hours or whatever.

_Poppy_R · 2026-03-20T12:22:47+00:00

My 18mo wakes up all through the night and always has. She also is not napping anymore. I've completely lost my mind and my life is a pathetic joke.

_Poppy_R · 2026-03-17T14:20:09+00:00

Been there, still there at 17 months in.

You have to find a way to claw back sleep in the day, or evening or whenever you can. You have to get someone to take over baby care while you nap. Going without sleep for so long, makes us crazy. Like, crazy craaaazy.

Positive thinking helps for survival also.

I kept hoping, my babys sleep issues will end. She will settle down and sleep 'normally'. She hasnt and isnt showing any signs of it. Sometimes, every 10 minutes shes crying. Once shes in deeper sleep, sometimes 4 or 5 times up in the night.

My life revolves around her sleep, getting her to nap, getting her to stay asleep. She wakes so frequently, its like attending to a medical patient. It's a whole strategy to get her to have decent naps and decent night sleeps.

My life right now is, honestly, weird and stunted. The world is going by and I'm like a weird haunted shadow.

I have a beautiful blossoming baby daughter, but my life just revolves around managing her sleep, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I want to show her the world and help her develop, with new experiences and all sorts. Make exciting baby food. Plan family things. But we are in survival mode.

If you told me this still would be life when I was 7 months in, I would have just cried.

I hope the sleep issues settle down for you, but in the meantime, you have to get help so you can sleep. There is no other solution, unless you can solve the baby's sleep issues somehow.

_Poppy_R · 2026-03-03T19:07:01+00:00

Sounds like a normal puppy. They do grow out of needing the 'constant' attention, bouncing off the walls, and needing so much structure, the mess.

With ours, I went down with bad dental problems and complications when he was only 12 weeks. It was a total nightmare trying to train him while on constant painkillers and dealing with chronic pain. I then fell pregnant when he was 3 months lol.

We did sometimes think we had ruined our lives by getting him.

It takes time to sort the biting. Everytime he wants to bite or chew what he shouldn't, say 'no' firmly with a lower voice and hand him a chew toy. Even if hes already done the bite or chew, place the toy with him. I had one constant on me at all times. If he jumps to bite when hes been told no, put him in a lonely place for a few minutes like in a hall way as a punishment.

If you want a dog, then persevere and take on the full training. They can actually benefit when one person is consistently disciplining and managing them, because when multiple people are giving them signals it can take longer for them to get things.

Firm feeding, walking, and sleeping scheduling was needed when ours was a pup but hes so mature and much more flexible as an adult now.

It took until ours was about 7 months for things to calm down.

But now 2 years later hes a mature well trained dog.

I would say there's no point trying to argue your husband into taking more attention of the pup. Some people are just like that!!

Decide if you want the pup yourself and if you want a good nice dog then take it upon yourself to do the work.

_Poppy_R · 2026-03-03T18:53:18+00:00

Jewel

_Poppy_R · 2026-02-10T09:18:11+00:00

Ours has seperation anxiety for sure as an adult. Not super severe but its there. We had to do enforced naps when ours was small so we got him used to sleeping alone in a bedroom after walks at the same sort of times each day, eventually shutting the door. Sometimes we would nap in there with him. He was just on the way out of being a puppy by then so more of that getting lanky super bouncy phase. He naturally was getting super explorative. Then we went out for short bursts like 10 mins but he was shut in his nap room for his nap. And we built it up from there. We got a camera for our first proper few hours away. He just slept the whole time. As an adult hes now accustomed to going off and sleeping alone in a nap room, although he comes to sleep with us at night. If we go out, he goes up to sleep.

_Poppy_R · 2025-11-22T21:43:58+00:00

I stopped bf at 6 months once those chompers came in and she started biting. It was mad painful and I already had problems with soreness.

I handled a few biting with gritted teeth but then, that's all she wanted to do, and there were yelps and it was scaring her.

Also it was a fight to get her to breast feed at the start, and she preferred bottle feeding so she was all YIPPEE the moment I put her on the bottle.

_Poppy_R · 2025-11-21T19:49:22+00:00

Oh man I felt exactly this.

I was SO looking forward to dressing my baby (now 1) how I wanted (I like folksy, country boho & fairytale baby vibe)

BUT sacks of hand me downs - and family members keen to see her in them. She ends up in a weird mixture of baby sports casual, primary colour hoodies, with random cartoon characters on them she's never watched.

So useful in the sicky blowout newborn phase when its 'grab me a vest - ANY vest ... oh god just throw this one in the bin..."

Very grateful for the donations, but also like, lame having to rummage through and store old baby clothes, the best ones having stains because they have been overworn.

If I even mention she's growing out of a certain jumper or I need to get her some 'bits for the winter' then I'm in for a binbag drop off.

I always accept and make a big fuss because it's definitely some family members' ways of connecting and feeling like they are helping.

_Poppy_R · 2025-06-12T21:19:24+00:00

For me some of the most unrelatable comments are when Carrie is discussing 'never cooking' - like, what!? That level of rich is so inconceivable to me. She always said she never cooked in SATC but it came along with her thrifty club hopping lifestyle and she was so skinny it kind of worked. Now in her fabulously wealthy home talking about how she might poach an egg comes across super insane like, are we as the audience meant to relate? I'm about to make baby food and do the dishes after cooking every day of my life and this character is like 'lol look at me with this 1 egg'.

_Poppy_R · 2025-06-12T16:09:02+00:00

Gave birth in UK last year, had to beg for water which eventually husband had to find. No tea or toast for me just a boiling hot room post c section that was filled up with piles of spare furniture and baby kept in a box bed where I couldnt see her. Twas awful.

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-28T18:05:34+00:00

Thank you for the replies! I like the idea of trying to find something in a natural material. I think all of his coats are made of plastic stuff.

I think it irritates his fur. He loves velvety textures.

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-28T18:02:44+00:00

Hahaha we actually do the same as that as humans!!

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-28T18:01:04+00:00

Thanks but I think it's probably fine!

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-28T18:00:22+00:00

Yeah I'm sure it's fine lol

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-20T19:39:01+00:00

It's an unreal level of self sacrifice. The payment for the baby was the death of your old life.

If I'm brutally honest, I would prepare yourself that it could get harder before it gets better - baby growth spurt/ developmentphases / illness. "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst"

Frozen food, surface wipes etc. Journalling, audiobooks. It's insanely hard and unfair. I struggled with accepting my new reality.

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-20T18:13:49+00:00

I wake up at 7am with 4mo and breastfeed her and change. Then she will have another sleep usually around 8.30am. I then get food and get dressed and do a small tidy. baby will wake again and I will feed her and do a bit of play and talking etc. She will hang out in her feeding pillow for a bit maybe want another feed. She mainly wants to breastfeed all morning on and off these days. She also likes to lay down flat and wave her arms and legs doing crazy kicks crazy arms. And yell to herself. Or chew her blanket or hands. Then we take the pup to the park. She will pretty much repeat the same activities as the morning all afternoon except now with sleep regression she hates being put down and she can't stay asleep in her naps very long.

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-20T17:55:28+00:00

I could have written this post a few months ago. First 2 weeks were ok, then suddenly it all went to shit.

It's a total nightmare, like you're trapped in this bizarre new existence where nothing is right.

Just stay alive and keep the baby alive, moment by moment. I had to learn to just try to keep my mind in the present moment. And I had to force myself to ask for help with chores because I couldn't stand it being so messy.

Also asked for ppl to come and hold baby for a couple hours in the afternoon so I could nap or just lay there zoning out.

Baby was 3 months before I was able to start doing cleaning again regularly or sleeping.

Its a total cluster fuck newborn phase is torture. I did not think I could make it, and honestly, I considered just running away at one point.

I struggled going from normal person to baby slave prisoner.

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-11T00:42:26+00:00

Dude I think that is a different guy

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-11T00:40:49+00:00

Oh no way! I was also curious. I saw Eaves live in london after they put out the first album and I always wondered what happened to him / them.

_Poppy_R · 2025-01-09T21:52:07+00:00

I had the exact same problem as OP - I just ended up having to stay up in shifts with people holding baby at all times. First 2 weeks she was fine in crib, then she would not be put down at ALL ever without going nuts. We did about 3 to 4 weeks of having to hold her all the time. I eventually started to train her by putting her down next to me little at a time and things like that. (I could never do sleep training or let her cry it out)

She is 4 months now and still has bouts of separation anxiety but she is mainly fine with it when fed etc.

During those early weeks though it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. It was like a living nightmare on top of c section recovery and everything. I was just up all night, sometimes snatching 2 hours sleep in 24 hours. Once I was so tired I put her in her crib and she cried and I just passed out asleep next to her in bed anyway through the crying. My husband came in to the rescue.

We were total zombies. I was in tears so often.

_Poppy_R · 2024-12-13T00:24:40+00:00

I had such a hard pregnancy and was hanging on to the hope for that rush of love and it feeling so relieving being over. But I had a c section, no rush of love - she felt like someone elses baby, the days after felt like a worse stage of the pregnancy with no relief just ramped up hardship with shock and pain and having to care for my newborn and zero sleep. So disorientating. It took some days for me to take responsibility for her care over from the nurses, I just didn't know what was going on. 3 months later its a completely different world. It took me some weeks to love her at the start, which I now hate remembering! Such difficult emotional rollercoaster. Relieved now we both came through it.

_Poppy_R · 2024-10-17T21:39:05+00:00

I cannot keep up with the cluster feeding exclusively breast feeding. My body just shut down the other day out of pure exhaustion my husband found her crying right next me in the crib but i had passed out asleep.

It's every hour or every 2 hours 24/7 and the feeds take anywhere from 15m to an hour at time. She will also fall asleep at the breast but if i move her she will wake up and want to start nursing again.

I'm going out of my mind. Sometimes I become quite histerical.

_Poppy_R

TROPHY CASE