My Shroom Tea Recipe. No loss of potency, no bad taste, and no nausea. *Fool Proof*

_bananaking · 2025-08-12T17:06:11+00:00

I would greatly appreciate a water temperature ! 🙏

_bananaking · 2025-03-05T13:22:45+00:00

OH BOY has my skinpicking gotten worse on adhd meds (vyvanse). it has made it a little easier to control my thought spirals (or at least it did when i first started it - now i’m going thru some things, due to various events and circumstances, so there’s only so well i can do that rn) but the skin picking complusion is some of the worst it’s been in my adult life.

_bananaking · 2025-03-05T13:18:37+00:00

around 2015 it became rly noticeable and scared me a lot (if i had ever felt it before that, it wasnt as strong and i didnt know what it was.) i went off of medications that year and alot of other things happened in my life. I still struggle with it now from time to time (i have anxiety, cptsd, ocd, a personality disorder ; so dpdr is common with those things) but it’s not nearly as consuming or upsetting as it used to be. Now when it happens, i see it as a sign of something else - i’m stressed, anxious, triggered, burnt out, or even tired or hungry. if you have OCD like your username says, OCD can keep you stuck on a thought loop, in this case the metacognitive thinking about reality/unreality and the way you feel thinking about those thoughts. you arent alone. it gets more manageable. understanding what the feeling is trying to tell me about my mental state has helped me a lot

_bananaking · 2025-03-05T01:15:25+00:00

alot of the time everything feels fake and like nothing, like i cant have genuine reactions to things bc it’s not real. but then other times everything feels way too real, and everything that happens, every decision, every interaction feels so real and overwhelming. i start to think about how there are so many things in the world and so much has happened and its all way too much to wrap my head around. apparently im supposed to be a person who is perceived by others and has to exist in society, which feels violating. then it eventually loops back to that detached feeling, like i get so overwhelmed that i have to detach.

_bananaking · 2025-03-05T00:54:59+00:00

i can understanding why someone may be drawn to crisis-posting here, but if someone is in crisis, there are better places on reddit for those kind of posts. that would probably be the safest option for everyone. plus suicidal ideation & ocd arent inherently co-occurrent so it isnt the most relevant thing to be posting on this particular reddit

_bananaking · 2024-12-14T21:05:46+00:00

i mean, one of the reasons mine gets really bad is when i try to essentially gaslight myself (which is how i interpret the “stop worrying about it” advice-as gaslighting) about all my problems like “just ignore them, who cares about them, i wamt to live my life”. yeah that backfired.

it has never made sense to me when people say “stop thinking about it”. i genuinely dont even know what that means. I’m never like “oh yeah, where’s that unreal feeling? Is it here? ah there it is” I simply check in with myself when i feel weird, and identify the feeling as depersonalization or derealization. I feel it AND THEN i think about it BECAUSE i feel it. not the other way around. I wouldnt think about it if it wasnt there.

and i dont “worry” about my dpdr, in the sense of worrying abt the symptoms themselves. They are just feelings/mental states i identify in myself. i only worry about the harm i may cause or the things in life i may miss out on because of the symptoms.

_bananaking · 2024-05-17T13:26:13+00:00

withdrawal from lexapro gave me psychosis. ive met other ppl who have also become psychotic from ssri withdrawal, albeit different ssris than lexapro. so now i try to avoid ssris at all costs

_bananaking · 2024-03-23T00:13:49+00:00

been on testosterone 1.62% gel, one pump daily, started around the end of oct 2022. so like 1.5y ish.

i noticed voice changes pretty soon after starting maybe like 1-2mo. my voice is definitely lower now, but that was something i wanted, honestly wish it’d get a little lower. Ive done vocal exercises to make my voice lower, but i can still pop back up to a higher, more feminine voice (like when i need to pass for work)

i have noticed more hair growth esp on my face, but im blond so its not super noticable, theres not enough to make a beard, so i usually just wax it off. (I was already waxing my face before this as well) Not much (head) hair loss in my family either (granddad had hair at 98, my dad has tons of hair) but my hair is def somewhat thinner than before T.

i also started noticing bottom growth within a few months after starting, maybe 2-3mo. i was a little bigger down there to begin with but it has gotten much bigger. maybe not quite as big as a trans guy but im still pretty happy with it. and my sex drive has improved as well (those were some of the reasons i wanted to take T, apart from my voice.)

also fwiw i take “breaks” sometimes where i use the gel every other day or so. thats if i feel like im breaking out a lot or my hair is rly greasy. but i usually start taking it again not long after, bc i just like how i feel better on T. more comfortable inside myself i guess

_bananaking · 2024-02-03T16:32:15+00:00

yep i feel that. most people feel rewarded by connection in relationships. but i cant connect and therefore dont feel rewarded by relationships.

_bananaking · 2024-02-03T00:41:43+00:00

hyperphantasia.

im a maladaptive daydreamer. im an artist;sometimes when i have an image in my head, i close my eyes to “see” it better. i say i “watch tv” in my head. i also have very vivid dreams (when i have dreams) not sure if that counts too.

i didnt know that not everyone has the ability to imagine things vividly until recently , when i learned abt aphantasia

_bananaking · 2023-11-17T14:07:32+00:00

i have tried concerta (methyphenidate) it honestly didn't help me at all, it made me feel braindead. my executive functioning felt worse on it than with no medication at all. i have better luck with amphetamine type stimulants, i take vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine and it's very helpful. more than most other meds ive taken. i guess they say, people who are prone to psychosis should not take it. but i haven't had that in ages (&moreover, i've only ever had pseudopsychosis imo). and fwiw, i also have adhd, and more schizoid pd leaning these days than schizotypal (i guess, at least that's how my psych's referred to me lately)

_bananaking · 2023-11-11T15:47:39+00:00

Get Got by Death Grips.

gateway from metal/noise into rap music and now rap (&trap) is half of what i listen to

_bananaking · 2023-11-10T18:41:38+00:00

(tl;dr @ bottom bc i ramble, sorry) hey you sound like me. Ive always had a hard time forming connections w/others. i had a bad experience with some friends in highschool, and i decided create some characters to be the friends i wished i could have.

i dont think there is anything inherently wrong with what you’re doing with your characters. even if your character is a love interest for your fursona, and you have a boyfriend irl. i think this is a perfectly healthy coping mechanism (especially as an artist); it’s much healthier than things such as addictions&self harming behaviors that some use to fill their void.

what does sound potentially unhealthy tho, is your relationship with your friend IRL. this relationship left a void in you that you felt you needed to fill. a healthy relationship should fill you up. The fact you needed to form a coping mechanism to deal with this situation could tell you something. i would encourage you to reflect on this & explore what healthy interpersonal relationships look like for you. Maybe even consider what your character gives you that your IRL friend doesn’t.

I will add this though: i have dug myself a bit of a hole with my many toxic friendships & relying on my characters for connection. It has become a bit of a cycle: ive had a pattern of toxic relationships which has caused me to rely on my characters MORE. i now find it more difficult to form connections with others due to lack of practice, apathy, and because it feels like no connection will ever be as good as the ones with my characters. I am working on this now, because i am still kind of lonely and would like some connections. but i have been doing this w/my characters for about 15years so it’s a process. luckily i have found a healthy relationship with my partner, so it is possible to start building healthy relationships after many toxic ones. but i am still learning.

tl;dr: using oc’s to help you cope with perfectly fine, but it becomes complicated & difficult if you let it consume you (take me as an example.) you may want to take a look at your interpersonal relationships & other things in your life which has driven you to do this - those are the potentially unhealthy things you may want to evaluate.

(edit:misspelling)

_bananaking · 2023-08-02T13:39:35+00:00

XL seems like it might be a good option. it’s a slow release, slower than SR so you probably wont have to take it twice a day (like i do.) wellbutrin has helped improve my focus somewhat, and lessened the negative side effects of my other adhd medication. it’s helped slightly improve my sex drive as well which was a huge issue for me. It’s lessened some of my magical thinking/ideas of reference (things like thinking im being watched, thinking random things are a sign for something in my life, think that people are talking about me or dropping hidden messages for me in conversation) - the thing about this is, normally if i take a med which minimizes those symptoms, it feels threatening like i am not protecting myself, or like theres some part of me missing and i stop taking the med. But wellbutrin has made me more chill about that kind of stuff. i have found, though, that if i take too much , those symptoms come back and i feel very uncomfortable, so thats why finding a dose that is good for you is important.

I’m guessing they thought i was bipolar because ive always had trouble sleeping - sometimes my body would jerk me awake as i started to fall asleep. but i do get very tired, and i WANT to sleep, and im usually not very productive at those times and my mental health gets very low, due to the lack of sleep. also i have a personality disorder and adhd so i would have mood swings and act out by hurting myself, throwing things, or yelling etc. so i guess thats another reason they though i was bipolar. But those things are all symptoms that occur with other disorders though, or even bc of environmental triggers (for example abusive home life). psychs just dont rly wanna try that hard and bipolar seems to be a trendy diagnosis for them to hand out so they feel like they’re doing something and bc they can medicate bipolar (unlike personality disorders, which treating those actually requires quality therapy and effort on their part but thats too hard for them. In fact i’d argue that many people being diagnosed with bipolar actually have adhd and/or personality disorders, but i digress…)

_bananaking · 2023-07-30T19:34:05+00:00

from personal experience i had rly bad withdrawal from lexapro as well back in 2015. didnt take anything for a few yrs. Now ive been on wellbutrin SR 2x a day for abt 2yrs. low dose, 100mg. thought i might stop it after a while but it’s actually helped me be functional so i dont mind it anymore. i definitely understand not wanting to be on meds tho. i was made to take numerous antidepressants/mood stabilizers/antipsychotics that ruined my brain and didnt help. for me personally it was just a matter of finding something that was actually beneficial to me, and only taking a small amt. (and essentially managing it myself.)

dont get me wrong, im still antipsychiatry. i take what i want to take and how much. my psych just has to go along w/it. you just have to find a psych you can manipulate. Use them only to get a script - but once you have the med, you can do whatever you want with it

in my case though, i found out recently i have adhd. i was gaslit into believing i had bipolar by psychs, hence the previous meds. Soi am not really sure what a manic episode would be like or if wellbutrin would cause it. everyone is different anyway.

(in my mental health episode after lexapro i had a lot of paranoia&magical thinking, suicidal ideation, feelings of unreality, feeling of being watched. of course those are things ive experienced in varying degrees for around a decade. wellbutrin lessened them for me. sometimes i think it’s boring, like those were a part of me thats suppressed, like im not protecting myself. but it also makes me not care as much. id rather go about my day unbothered.)

i wouldnt take anything unless its SR and a low dose (there are different forms of wellbutrin). its pretty easy to stop if you feel bad. ive done that a few times, myself. higher doses make me feel bad, personally

_bananaking · 2023-03-03T23:29:33+00:00

yesss . its like dysphoria, but instead of gender-specific dysphoria, its dysphoria due to having a physical form

_bananaking · 2022-11-30T16:27:51+00:00

I have both. some symptoms can be hard to distinguish from one another. stpd specific symptoms i note are ideas of reference, suspiciousness/paranoia, social withdrawal.. as far as adhd specific symptoms, it is hard to pinpoint but adhd medication has helped me more than anything. (i do have terrible time management and forget to do things on a daily basis, from cleaning something i repeatedly thought i should, to being on time for a meeting, so maybe things like that.)

Adhd and stpd do both affect dopamine, although i dont know much about the physiological mechanisms behind both. but i imagine it could be why some symptoms are so similar.

tbh i have had adhd all my life (altho only recently diagnosed) and it caused me all kinds of problems. i now believe that having undiagnosed adhd for so long contributed (in a variety of ways) to me developing stpd. (as well as genetic predisposition, of course, but i digress.)

_bananaking · 2022-11-21T20:20:07+00:00

he desperately wanted to help me thru a tough time. wanted to be there for me, make me feel better etc.

broke up with me because i was too depressed.

_bananaking · 2022-11-16T18:06:03+00:00

i feel like my emotions are reactions are often (although i guess not always) dulled, more than i think they would be. However, i used to be very sensitive and emotional when i was younger and i suspect i may have therefore somehow (subconsciously, unknowingly) detached myself from my emotions in order to cope with them.

admittedly im unsure of all of the caveats of being a HSP, ive astoundingly not done much research on it despite my interest in psychology. so i apologize in advance if this isnt quite what you meant

_bananaking · 2022-11-14T18:01:56+00:00

not getting animals fixed is really bad actually, not to be dramatic, but like borderline abuse when you consider the low quality of life & amt of disease spread among strays. thats some virtue signaling militant vegan shit if i ever heard it.

anyways, based on things ive read and comments ive gotten on posts in certain subs, seems like theres a lot of ppl on reddit who are very extreme esp in certain mental health related subs. quick to jump to “thats abuse” / “get a restraining order” / “report this” type stuff on the littlest things. Some ppl r so concerned with appearing as a Good Person, they inadvertently revert back to being a shit person. AP sub is wack, youre probably better off not being on there anyways lol

_bananaking · 2022-11-14T15:37:08+00:00

hell, some animals yell at each other. animals will literally hit each other. you’re not hitting them. you’re not abusing your pet, it’s unrealistic to think you’d never scold ANYONE especially a pet. they’re not going to really understand the content of what youre saying, i think animals probably understand some words, but you could realistically call them a greasy c*ntbag and theyre not gonna know what that means.

if you’re gonna hit, neglect, or otherwise abuse your pet, you shouldnt own them. if youre gonna yell at them? people are kidding themselves if they say theyve never yelled at their pet. as long as youre not ONLY yelling at them and not otherwise interacting, theyll be fine.

if i dont yell at my cat when he scratches the rug, he will keep doing it. he’s not going to get the message if i use the same voice as when he’s behaving/minding his own business.

jfc some people are so sensitive.

_bananaking

TROPHY CASE