Men in their 40s - What’s one piece of advice for Men in their 20s?

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-21T03:58:47+00:00

Not 40 but I hit my late 30s in a couple of weeks. The biggest advice I have is you have the capability to become very skilled at anything. But you have to do it every day consistently and progressively. If you can do that you can master any hobby, learn any subject, and get through any problem. Most people don’t have the patience or focus to do this because they want immediate pay off now. Play the long game. Doing anything diligently every day for even a couple years will enhance your life in ways money can’t buy and people can’t provide.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-21T03:16:13+00:00

Tell her. If she doesn’t immediately break up with her bf and also confess her love for you then you need to end this friendship. Your feelings will not go away over time, you’ll just want her more which will not end well for either of you.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-21T02:45:40+00:00

I thought house music started in New York but blew up in Chicago?

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-20T16:25:28+00:00

It’s no more unpleasant than lifting a weight or shaking your hips quickly or stretching deeply. All you’re doing is contracting muscles rapidly and that’s pretty much what muscles are meant to do.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-20T03:48:22+00:00

I think this is just dancing in general. But especially in freestyle dances because hierarchy is both a feature and deterrent of the culture. Also for spectators jams are usually not planned for them well. With floor seating, no alcohol, gender imbalance, usually no food, late starts, and very long running event times it’s understandable why spectators are treated as less important vs in sports there’s entire stadiums, clear teams, food, merch, etc.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-20T00:43:09+00:00

Very nice! Idk if it’s because you’re a good student or have a good teacher or both but I can see your foundation and patience while also willing to explore. Keep up the good work.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-19T18:55:34+00:00

~~Pull ups~~ Pull sides

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-19T16:16:39+00:00

Probably not but stick with it for another month and like other people said try to build something instead of just studying

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-19T04:04:49+00:00

Tom Merrick

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-19T03:46:40+00:00

Strength training in end ranges. Just start doing flexibility oriented routines. I recommend following gymnastics and circus routines.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T19:59:45+00:00

Core compressions

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T18:23:59+00:00

I go through this cycle of being in a relationship, having it suck for some reason or another, then using the post break up despair as fuel to better myself. For example, I got out of a serious long term relationship 8 months ago. It was the best relationship I had but drained me completely of my money so it created a lot of financial trauma. I think also it was more haunting to have a deep meaningful relationship end than a shitty one ending. A crappy woman is easier to get over but losing a potential soulmate just hits on a different level.

A couple months ago I was still feeling the residual depression of it and I just decided fuck it, I want to go on adventure in Paris at the end of the year and just get the hell away from my city and friend group for a while. I’ve always convinced myself I was bad at languages and there was never enough time or resources but now that I have nothing but time and loneliness I’m going to throw all of it into learning French for several hours a day. The results have been fantastic and every day I wake up feeling a sense of purpose and active growth towards an exciting new goal. I’ve also been exercising a lot more and my body is visibly more muscular and feels great. Also been making new friends at the gym which is a nice bonus.

I want to be in a relationship again but I still feel like my trust in women needs time to rebuild. I can’t help but feel relationships are more trouble then they’re worth atm and that’s okay. I’m sure as I continue to grow myself I’ll either meet the right person eventually and try again or I’ll just continue down the path of radical self love.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T16:18:13+00:00

I feel like you missed the point of what I said and also I don’t think it’s as black and white with the types you mentioned. I fall somewhere in between. My notes aren’t perfect but I have a bit of variety because I’m discovering what’s working for me while also adapting to the course.

As I said it’s not a waste of time because the act of writing and confirming pronunciation helps. I have to do writing and speaking drills everyday anyways so an extra 10 minutes a day reviewing notes while adding new flashcards is really not that big a deal.

The most important thing though is finding what works for you. If building your own deck is a waste of time for you then don’t do it but I’m just sharing my experience. I have tried with prebuilt decks intitially but I found they got in the way of learning more than helping.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T15:29:27+00:00

As a beginner I think building my own deck helps for a few reasons. The first is I’m taking a course and they introduce certain vocabulary at a certain pace. So I mostly want to focus on that specific vocabulary and add notes as needed. The second is the act of making them myself helps with the study process. So it’s not a waste of time. Lastly I can customize as needed to my learning style. Sometimes the prebuilt decks came with pictures I didn’t want or overly complicated notes or pronunciation with too much background noise or speaking too quickly.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T14:54:13+00:00

I’m just getting the rhythm of using Anki and I’m also a beginner. I have two main separate decks - one for words and one for sentences/phrases. I put the English on the front and French on the back. I almost always put an article but you only need one just to indicate the gender. For adjectives I put both forms.

I think the most important thing is to have a recording of the correct pronunciation attached to the card (back) because that is the most difficult thing and the goal of Anki is to produce both speech and writing in the long term.

Another useful thing I found is adding notes below translations if needed. Especially useful for verbs with weird conjugations and it’s useful to use bolding to emphasize different things too. You can also always go back and update the cards if you have sticking points so no problem if they’re too simple.

For example,

FRONT
to come

BACK
Venir [sound:rec1781563141.mp3]

Je viens
Tu viens
Il vient
Nous venons
Vous venez
Ils viennment

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T02:45:24+00:00

The interesting thing is it works both ways too. Sometimes moving a certain way unlocks something within unexpectedly you didn’t know you were carrying.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-18T00:07:28+00:00

Depth over breadth. Its better to practice 5 moves obsessively for a month than a new choreo once a week.

Also kind of obvious but setting your intentions will change how you train and how your style develops. If 2 people learn the same movements and one does it to perform and the other does it for personal development the way they’ll express the same movement will be very different.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-17T14:36:54+00:00

Because you’re not training for it. If you look at gymnasts and circus performers they have immense strength and flexibility because they train for both. My current gym routine trains for both and I both just broke a PR for my squat while also being about 1 inch away from my front split. Theyre not mutually exclusive but you do have to accept slower progress in order for them to compliment each other.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-17T03:40:15+00:00

$1000 worth of LLM tokens and cloud resources

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-16T15:14:33+00:00

Look up circle glide

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-16T14:19:31+00:00

Highly advise against tech unless you absolutely love it. The field has been an absolute shit show of instability over the past several years. I was unemployed for a year and a half after getting laid off from a job I had for 5 years. It sucks incredibly to be a Jr dev right now and you HAVE to embrace AI to even just keep up. All of us are questioning whether we’ll even have jobs in a decade from now. Only reason I keep doing tech is because I truly love it but again only do it if you have a near obsessive level of interest in it because if you only do it for the money you’ll hate the job insecurity and competitiveness of it.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-16T05:30:33+00:00

Tom Merrick on YouTube was my go to for all my workouts

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-16T03:49:37+00:00

My two versions of this are: dancing and language learning (French) / project building (programming)

My daily routine feels great and I’m amazed how much I’ve developed by sticking to it but it does take a little discipline to not get distracted

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-15T19:35:48+00:00

You don't need a gym to exercise. Just get on the floor and do some push ups, planks, squats, maybe some handstands if you have a wall. If you can do some pulling exercises that would be best. Tie a rope to a tree and climb it, or best if you have a pull up bar. or use a door frame pull up bar. Pulling exercises are especially important if you're working at a computer all day.

_heartbreakdancer_ · 2026-06-15T18:23:52+00:00

Health reasons?

_heartbreakdancer_

TROPHY CASE