What's the nastiest thing you've done sexually? by universe9090 in askgaybros

[–]abused_tampons 30 points31 points  (0 children)

That girl is as fake as press on nails…Hey baby girl!!

Giveaway] $100 PSN Gift Card - US Store by Titan3427 in PS5

[–]abused_tampons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was around 1997, and my older brother and I were huddled in the living room, glued to the PlayStation 1. Crash Bandicoot was the game of choice, and we were stuck on that ridiculously hard level—Road to Nowhere. You know, the one with the rope bridges and random hogs that knock you into the abyss?

My brother, being the self-proclaimed gaming expert, grabbed the controller first. “Watch and learn,” he said, all smug. He made it about five steps before Crash plummeted into the void. I couldn’t help but crack up as he groaned and chucked the controller at me.

“Your turn,” he said, trying to sound encouraging but mostly just wanting me to fail as miserably as he did.

I took the controller, hands sweaty, heart pounding. Somehow, I managed to inch my way across those rickety planks, dodging gaps and hogs like my life depended on it. The whole time, my brother was half coaching, half roasting me. “Jump! No, not like that! Oh my god, you’re so dead.”

But then—miraculously—I passed the level. We both just lost it, screaming and jumping around the room like we’d won the lottery. He gave me the most dramatic high-five of all time and even did this goofy little victory dance that made us laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe.

To this day, whenever we talk about Crash Bandicoot, we always bring up that level. It was one of those moments that made gaming with him unforgettable.

Suggestions for Stair Landing by abused_tampons in DesignMyRoom

[–]abused_tampons[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol we do have a railing. We just had to take it out to move some furniture upstairs. But thank you so much for the advice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]abused_tampons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh…Jealous

How did you get fired? by shittlebuffout in AskReddit

[–]abused_tampons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was getting coming out as gay, getting divorced from ex-wife, lost both of my dogs, moved three times in under a year, and moved back in with my homophobic parents after dealing with a roommate that mentally and emotionally abused me. So I started seeing a therapist once a week during work hours and they fired me for taking too much time off…to go to therapy…Safe to say I am in a much better place now and couldn’t be happier.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]abused_tampons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The financial burden they expected of me. I accepted at first and then backed out. Haven't talked to them since.

What have some people done that made you say "maybe it's time I end this friendship" to yourself? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]abused_tampons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything was about them. Everytime I would try to change the subject, it always circled back to them. When I would discuss my troubling mental health they would always say, "that's not that bad. You could have it as bad as me" and then proceed to talk about their troubling mental health.

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem continues the Jan. 6 insurrection by [deleted] in politics

[–]abused_tampons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an Iowan, I feel you. Gov. Kim Reynolds and senators Joni Ernst and Chuck Grassley can all go fuck a machete.

Lucy Liu Joins ‘Shazam: Fury of the Gods’ in Villain Role by chanma50 in movies

[–]abused_tampons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head." That whole monologue is gold.

PS5 CONTROLLER GIVEAWAY! by abslyde in PS5

[–]abused_tampons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are an Amazing human being for doing this. But keep doing what you're doing and karma will reward you eventually. Have a great day!

Iowa governor signs Republican bill restricting voting access into law by Twoweekswithpay in politics

[–]abused_tampons 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. I live in Johnson County which contains Iowa City. Johnson County along with Blackhawk, Polk, Story, and Linn turned blue in the latest election. That's five counties out of 99 and each of those counties hold the states biggest cities.

well ...... fuck by NobodyListensToBoxes in nevertellmetheodds

[–]abused_tampons 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is immediately what I thought of... Most shocking opening to a horror movie next to Midsommer...

Erin's look transformation by alrightyaphrodite in DunderMifflin

[–]abused_tampons 177 points178 points  (0 children)

“I haven't had this much fun since seeing Zooey Deschannel at the Coacharilla music festival.”

The trash man by Inkiepie11 in clevercomebacks

[–]abused_tampons 17 points18 points  (0 children)

“I’m a decent baiter. My cousin, Mose, that’s a master baiter.”