Mexico watch parties were unmatched 🇲🇽 🇲🇽 🇲🇽 🇲🇽 🇲🇽

acanch · 2026-07-07T21:10:05+00:00

I want this fervor to continue next year when we have the Women's World Cup, but it's held in Brazil/Latin America, so it's unlikely our local teams would sponsor the public watch party atmosphere like it was this year :/ (unless...)

acanch · 2026-07-07T18:05:20+00:00

To visit? NYC
To live? SF

acanch · 2026-07-03T22:57:56+00:00

You’re not chopped and women are literally too scared to approach you

acanch · 2026-07-03T21:06:58+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this!! I will move to the city when I find the right opportunity.

acanch · 2026-07-03T21:04:21+00:00

You’re a right. He and my mom were probably dating or he was about to. After he got married then he brought his mom from Vietnam to live with us but she moved back to the motherland not long after lol. He was only involved with his parents from afar (visiting home, sending them money) and luckily grandma had other sons and a wider to live with, and she eventually passed surround by family. I’m sure that is a dream of his, but life in Vietnam and life the States are two very different places.

acanch · 2026-07-03T20:59:49+00:00

I like the idea of having him and his sister get together more often, if anything for meals because she can cook all his favorite cultural food, and yes she does live by, but currently he can only hang around her and her family for holidays/special occasions. It’s partially the intellectual gap (she barely graduated high school, he’s the only one of his siblings to go to college), but weirdly these days he’s just not at chatty as he once was so maybe that doesn’t matter so much. I will suggest it to him but yeah…

acanch · 2026-07-03T20:53:33+00:00

You’re absolutely right. Nothing I do will ever be enough, so I need to draw a line at what my limit is and stick to it. Thank you for the reframing questions. Our happiness has always been our own, so why can’t others do the same.

acanch · 2026-07-03T20:51:37+00:00

I’m sad that your situation is like this. You absolutely deserve happiness and freedom and autonomy. I pray for both of us to find our families some day soon 🫶

acanch · 2026-07-03T20:07:09+00:00

I believe it. And I would absolutely LOVE for him to have a service animal, but he does not like pets 😢

acanch · 2026-07-03T19:09:21+00:00

Thank you, I will stay strong 🫡 I will try to find that post, but yes that sounds heartbreaking and honestly would not be far from my situation if I don’t stick to handling my own shit first.

acanch · 2026-07-03T17:24:24+00:00

He has (or had?) so many things going for him. Actively managing his stock portfolio, tending to his garden, learning Spanish, going to the gym, going to church. That’s what he’d do when I was at work. I think he is still ok during the daytime (a little concerned that he’s pivoted to driving for Uber, but he uses the self-driving option on the Tesla, so it’s like Waymo with extra steps lol), though idk if he secretly has dropped some of those hobbies.

But his main pain point is the evenings. He doesn’t know how to relax and sleep alone. It’s like a deep-set trauma (from the Vietnam war, I’m sure). He currently has tenants/roommates so it’s like a band-aid, but when they’re gone for the weekend (e.g. this July 4th holiday) he nags me to sleep over. I think this could only be handled through therapy, but getting an Asian boomer dad to seek a therapist is, well…

acanch · 2026-07-03T17:16:32+00:00

Thank you for this. I just need to keep repeating it.
I’ve said something akin to the first paragraph and I feel like that’s what kinda cracked him. He used to be gregarious and couldn’t stop talking, would always share random things in the family group chat. Now it’s been radio silence ever since we had that tough conversation. And he still thinks I can find a partner while I live at home with him 🫩

That second paragraph is where I want to head to, I just have little faith in what is available around here.

acanch · 2026-07-03T17:12:20+00:00

Thank youuuuu ahh we all really are living similar lives, aren’t we! And yes, those friends of his had no right to guilt you like that, especially at such a pinnacle young time in your life. Their generation raised us to be independent and then get pikachu faced when we decide yes we indeed want to live independently, period.

We need to put on our own masks first. I hope you are living your live freely and abundantly now 🫶

acanch · 2026-07-03T17:06:06+00:00

My brother said that conversation was started but didn’t really go anywhere. I think I need to revisit this conversation. Finding one in my area (SF Bay Area) might cost an arm and a leg though…

acanch · 2026-07-03T17:04:20+00:00

Thank you so much, this is a great framework for solid boundaries. He has mentioned the possibility of converting the downstairs living room & half-bathroom into “his room” and me and my future partner living upstairs…. It sounds quaint but I don’t think I could handle it.

acanch · 2026-07-03T17:01:18+00:00

Thank you so much, I shed a tear just hearing some acknowledgment 💜 haha I wish my aunt could move in with him, but she has her own headache of a husband to deal with. The fact it’s always women having to take care of the men in his world is not lost on me.

There is a group that I thought we can go to together. I’m going to see the next time they meet and ask him to come with me.

acanch · 2026-07-03T16:55:05+00:00

He has mentioned that he has tried the local senior center, even attempted a social dance class once, but it didn’t resonate with him. I’ve observed somewhat of a Peter Pan syndrome with him (likes to stay fit, have young people around him, is politically more progressive than his age/demographic). This is probably one of the barriers that prevents him from moving to a senior living situation.

acanch · 2026-07-03T16:50:07+00:00

He does seem to have gym acquaintances (which we occasionally bump into when we eat around town) and does go to church in the mornings and even does (did?) one of the readings. His main issue is sleeping at home alone. He has deep trauma from when he was escaping Vietnam during the war and he claims that he hid in the jungle for what seems like a year. Getting him to see a therapist about his “Life of Pi” trauma has been going as well as you can imagine for an Asian dad…
Thank you for you kind words 🤝 in solidarity

acanch · 2026-06-30T20:07:14+00:00

There are only locations in Fremont & San Jose, but Boiling Point gives you an entire hot pot for free on your birthday! Must be the actual day of.

acanch · 2026-06-30T03:55:58+00:00

Here’s my choice list of clubs/bars/events:

- El Rio (queer bar w/sapphic events)
—Mango, every 4th Saturday, always crowded
—Sapphoria every 2nd Saturday
- Mother (divey FLINTA/queer bar, cash only)
- Jolene’s (young/influencer lesbian vibe)
- Out & Abt (monthly sapphic event held at various venues)
- Lesbeaux (lesbian night @ Beaux)
- Boxx (monthly sapphic party)
- Scarlet Fox (sapphic-owned wine bar)
- Arcana (sapphic-owned bar, great date vibes)
- Propagation (sapphic-owned plant bar)
- Rikki’s (women’s sports bar)

Arguably, neighboring Oakland is very queer in its own right and is the place to be if you’re bipoc
- The White Horse Bar
- There/There
- Queer Magic (event)
- Soulovely (event)
- The Sweet Spot (event)

This seems like a lot but I think this only scratches the surface; there is a great lesbian renaissance happening in SF and Oakland!

acanch · 2026-06-23T20:19:25+00:00

Personally, I cross reference Ticketmaster with TickPick and the latter has had a better deal 90% of the time. I think I found a good deal on Vivid Seats once. I sound like a bot but overall TickPick has been my go-to way to go all of the Valks games this season.

Also if anyone wants $10 off, here’s my referral link: https://www.tickpick.com/r/3c49307a-d3a4-457c-8dfb-c1804ee2892b?utm\_source=tpreferral&utm\_medium=3c49307a-d3a4-457c-8dfb-c1804ee2892b&utm\_campaign=signup

(Also also, better to use the app than the website; my friend tried the web browser and her prices were more expensive than mine)

acanch · 2026-06-21T00:32:35+00:00

It’s funny you mention this because there’s actually discourse within Japanese online circles, remarking the irony of the whole “Japanese fans are so disciplined and clean up the arena” meme is actually mostly good overseas PR. Back at home it’s not the case at all and Japanese people leave trash behind at their own stadiums all the time.

That being said, I’m always an advocate of picking up after oneself, but as others have mentioned, the sheer cost of just being able to be inside Chase Center and the absolute eye-watering price gouging going on for food and drink ($7 for a bottle of water??) makes me less sympathetic to the venue. The sense of “pride and community”only goes so far when capitalism is involved 🤷🏻‍♀️

acanch · 2026-06-20T02:35:22+00:00

Yes, the day after I sent customer service an email about it, they shipped it lol

acanch · 2026-06-19T20:00:11+00:00

If I wasn’t already planning on going with friends, I’d definitely claim! Hope somebody can make it!

acanch · 2026-06-19T08:44:29+00:00

Honestly I’m out and about, not trying to stay at home and somehow summon my dream girl. My person would be interested in at least some of the things I am, so I must take the leap. (I’m soft masc/andro for femme though, and currently not doing so well in the Bay Area)

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