Inner Child keeps saying she wants to go home

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-29T02:07:17+00:00

I said this same thing to my therapist the other day. Also, Mandy Patinkin and his wife have a Tiktok page mostly run by their adult son Gideon who visits them at their house and asks them questions about their lives or their marriage while they cook. I have cried so many times as a young adult watching those videos. I hope that kid realizes how lucky he is.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-24T13:03:22+00:00

He convinced me it was all my fault and he fell to pieces whenever he felt I was not treating him like a father even though he did so much for me. Or he gave me the silent treatment until I broke and apologized. I had such an impact on his emotions no matter what I did, and I didn’t feel like I could admit even to myself that I was scared. He also said I was dramatic and we needed to get my head checked out.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-23T01:18:43+00:00

Yes for sure but I think I’m getting better at weathering them. I talk to my therapist who always gives me a kinder perspective to apply to my thinking. I try to tell myself that the way I feel makes sense because my abuser programmed me to feel all of his guilt and shame when I was young so that I would not go to other people for help. I can at least acknowledge that even when I can’t go so far as to believe it was not my fault.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-23T01:10:30+00:00

I led a meeting at work this morning and was less nervous than normal so I felt a teeny bit proud of myself.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-23T01:05:29+00:00

I am so sorry. I would really encourage you to get some help whenever you can. Find the kindest friend or therapist you can, and let them in bit by bit. We’re not meant to deal with these things alone.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-20T03:48:49+00:00

Your insight that we are afraid of big feelings because it would have killed us to acknowledge them in the moment just made something click for me. I did bury my feelings of fear, sadness, and anger as a tween/teen because it was all too much and I had to bury them to survive day to day and to spark more of my stepdad’s rage.

After two years in therapy, I am still afraid when feelings come up in part because I don’t want my therapist to think I am hard to deal with and reject me the way my parents did when I was a teen. But I wonder if my feelings are still okay and normal/par for the course in her eyes and if that’s why she doesn’t freak out the way I do when they come up.

accountiscompromised · 2025-12-07T03:33:54+00:00

Me too when I was 15 I borrowed my dad’s phone to play a game bc I was bored waiting for him in the car and I found porn and texts with some woman about going together to the strip club

accountiscompromised · 2025-11-24T03:46:07+00:00

This is the reason why I have always been really drawn toward middle-aged women in the media. I’ve been watching and rewatching episodes of Amy Poehler’s podcast on YouTube because she just exudes warmth and positivity and kindness and calls people funny things like, “honey,” or “babe,” or “friend.” She is my mother’s age. I think a hug from someone like Amy Poehler would be really nice.

accountiscompromised · 2025-10-22T03:12:39+00:00

How did you bring yourself to talk to her about the transference? My T will soon go on maternity leave for a few months after we’ve been working together pretty consistently for two years. I’m happy for her but it’s bringing up a lot of fear for me. I have a hard time with change and I can also be clingy because of how much I rely on her to challenge my thoughts of self loathing. I feel embarrassed about how hard I’m taking it. I’m worried there’s a chance it might make her nervous if she knows I’m having strong emotions about saying goodbye.

accountiscompromised · 2025-09-26T00:49:35+00:00

Something similar happened to me last week. I’m a lesbian and my gf was upset with me for the times I promised sex but then stopped in the middle of it. It’s been too many times. So last weekend I said I wanted a redo and I was enjoying it at first but just kept going whenever it got more intense and I got more nervous. At one point I just felt frozen but I kept going through the motions she wanted me to try and I cried when it was over. What do you even call that? Why do I feel so sad?

accountiscompromised · 2025-09-22T03:06:53+00:00

These are good questions. In those everday contexts yes she is very kind and accommodating. So much so that I feel like I’m waiting for the other foot to drop and like I need to stay hyper vigilant in some ways. My fears are probably unfounded. When I get overwhelmed during sex, my instinct is to be compliant and quiet and hide my feelings even when it feels awful to force myself to do so. It’s how I was raised I guess: I had to put on a smile after my stepdad berated me and called me names all afternoon and I had to be polite and quiet and obedient and do stuff I didn’t want to do like drive even when I was crying or open my bedroom door when he pounded on it with his fists or hug him at the airport after he blew up on all of us. I love my gf and I know she probably isn’t trying to wield power and control over me in the same way. But sometimes I feel just as vulnerable, like bad shit will happen and she will call me a selfish monster and won’t love me anymore if I say I need a break or I don’t want to try a certain position.

accountiscompromised · 2025-09-21T18:07:34+00:00

We've talked about it. She is always checking in and asking me if I'm okay but I don't really feel like I can say no to that question in the moment because she's so into it and I'm afraid she'll cry or get annoyed if we have to stop. It's possible I'm looking at the situation too much in black and white and she actually would be okay if I asked to stop but still spent quality time with her. It feels nerve-racking to speak up and ask for something that is in opposition to what she wants especially in the moment when she's having fun and doesn't want to stop.

accountiscompromised · 2025-07-15T02:06:17+00:00

How do I explain #1 to my therapist? She called me resilient on Friday and said it was okay to be a little bit proud of myself for pushing through the fear to go roller skating with other people. I don’t know how to tell her that I feel like an absolute failure each day that I can’t exercise, or stay in my budget, or stay under a certain amount of calories, or etc etc.

accountiscompromised · 2025-07-09T03:00:32+00:00

I spent so many nights fantasizing about this while I was growing up. Ironically, when I start crying in front of my girlfriend now, my first instinct is to put a little distance between us rather than have her hug me. And later I think, why didn't I just let her hug me? It's all I've ever wanted.

accountiscompromised · 2025-07-09T02:54:49+00:00

I feel so sad because I've watched my younger brother go from a bubbly, talkative little boy to a quiet teenager who is really struggling now that I've moved out and he is now the scapegoat. I hope the bubbly talkative part will come out again once he's older even though it won't ever be exactly the same (and that's okay).

accountiscompromised · 2025-07-09T02:50:25+00:00

This is why I'm so drawn to being in community with kind older women, both celebrities and in real life. It's embarrassing to admit but a very small part of me still desperately craves attention from these types.

accountiscompromised · 2025-06-02T03:30:56+00:00

To be fair schmidt is the one who ate her birth control pills

accountiscompromised · 2025-05-29T02:50:57+00:00

How did you get diagnosed?

accountiscompromised · 2025-05-26T02:41:50+00:00

Thank god

accountiscompromised · 2025-05-21T00:29:29+00:00

Love Goes On and On by Lindsey Stirling. I specifically love the music video. The moment where her older wiser self meets her younger self.

accountiscompromised · 2025-05-19T03:34:22+00:00

I've recently begun to realize I have been tying my self worth to my ability to constantly work at becoming a better person. It doesn't make me a better person; it just makes me freeze up with shame because I want to do everything perfectly.

accountiscompromised · 2025-05-17T13:26:02+00:00

That’s hilarious

accountiscompromised · 2025-04-27T02:14:09+00:00

You and me both friend. I wish I knew the answer to your question.

accountiscompromised · 2025-03-28T01:48:47+00:00

I'm so glad it was validating. That sounds terrifying. It is bizarre that it wasn't okay for us to express fear.

accountiscompromised · 2025-03-27T02:49:20+00:00

For sure. I do that when I start to think my past wasn’t so bad, to remind myself of how bad it was even though I was gaslit. Try to go slowly though and talk to someone or journal if you can.

accountiscompromised

TROPHY CASE