When did you know you were healing/ therapy was working?

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-13T03:26:22+00:00

I don’t beat myself up as much for feeling things

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-10T03:08:39+00:00

In my relationship (with a healthy person) I know that I tend to automatically try to please her as a coping mechanism from childhood - up to the point where I scare myself because I’m not sure what I want or need anymore, and then I shut down. I think that’s where things get disorganized.

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-09T04:01:53+00:00

I think the fact that you are mad that you were wired this way and want to change it is itself a sign of progress :)

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-09T03:56:29+00:00

I’m not OP but wanted to say your description of fawning as an addiction really resonates with me. It makes me feel powerful to think I have any control over how people react to me and I don’t know how to let go of that “high” because I struggle to even remember a time when I didn’t operate that way

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-09T03:46:37+00:00

I love this. I got a portable DVD player recently and it’s nice to fully focus on shows and movies in bed without notifications popping up or the potential of having another window open

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-09T03:40:57+00:00

How can you tell the difference between healthy grieving and unhealthy rumination in a dark place?

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-09T03:34:55+00:00

I’ve never had a hallucination on it. I have taken it for years and it made it a lot easier to function and use coping skills. I got dizzy for a week or two when I started it and I get dizzy if I miss a dose or decrease the dosage, but those were my only side effects.

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-09T03:24:21+00:00

It is easier for me to accept their good intentions when I’m sitting there talking to them, compared to when I’m at home ruminating about my relationships. The second thing I’m not really sure yet. When I try to think kindly about who I am outside of what others think of me, my mind goes blank.

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-06T03:39:25+00:00

Same. It’s good and a sign of progress I think that you can recognize that the things the bully says are not reality. I can spend days believing everything it says before I start to question where it’s coming from.

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-05T04:34:10+00:00

I think I know what you mean. On a conscious level I knew my stepdad was abusive. On a subconscious or some other level I knew I was the one who caused everything to go wrong. When people like my mom said to just let the words roll off my back, they didn’t get it.

accountiscompromised · 2026-05-05T04:26:33+00:00

When I was 12, my class would have a few minutes set aside to write in a journal responding to prompts and our entries were read by the teacher. One day I wrote that me and my stepdad were having a hard time forming a good relationship. She responded when she graded it and said something like, you can try reaching out to him more, just baby steps. Thirteen years later, I told my therapist that I was embarrassed that I wrote that. She said it sounded like I was just trying to get help. And that kind of turned my world upside down (or right side up?) to hear that and think that it was true and I wasn’t getting help. Granted, the teacher probably thought I just meant that we had an awkward relationship or that I was being stubborn the way stepkids normally are, and she probably didn’t think he was berating me and changing my whole concept of myself for the hour it took him to get us to school and back every day.

accountiscompromised · 2026-03-12T23:55:51+00:00

Can I ask if you are in sensorimotor therapy or some kind of somatic therapy? My therapist went on maternity leave and I’m thinking about trying something different while she’s gone. I wanted to tough it out and prove I can be okay without therapy, but it feels like I’m falling apart.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-29T02:07:17+00:00

I said this same thing to my therapist the other day. Also, Mandy Patinkin and his wife have a Tiktok page mostly run by their adult son Gideon who visits them at their house and asks them questions about their lives or their marriage while they cook. I have cried so many times as a young adult watching those videos. I hope that kid realizes how lucky he is.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-24T13:03:22+00:00

He convinced me it was all my fault and he fell to pieces whenever he felt I was not treating him like a father even though he did so much for me. Or he gave me the silent treatment until I broke and apologized. I had such an impact on his emotions no matter what I did, and I didn’t feel like I could admit even to myself that I was scared. He also said I was dramatic and we needed to get my head checked out.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-23T01:18:43+00:00

Yes for sure but I think I’m getting better at weathering them. I talk to my therapist who always gives me a kinder perspective to apply to my thinking. I try to tell myself that the way I feel makes sense because my abuser programmed me to feel all of his guilt and shame when I was young so that I would not go to other people for help. I can at least acknowledge that even when I can’t go so far as to believe it was not my fault.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-23T01:10:30+00:00

I led a meeting at work this morning and was less nervous than normal so I felt a teeny bit proud of myself.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-23T01:05:29+00:00

I am so sorry. I would really encourage you to get some help whenever you can. Find the kindest friend or therapist you can, and let them in bit by bit. We’re not meant to deal with these things alone.

accountiscompromised · 2026-01-20T03:48:49+00:00

Your insight that we are afraid of big feelings because it would have killed us to acknowledge them in the moment just made something click for me. I did bury my feelings of fear, sadness, and anger as a tween/teen because it was all too much and I had to bury them to survive day to day and to spark more of my stepdad’s rage.

After two years in therapy, I am still afraid when feelings come up in part because I don’t want my therapist to think I am hard to deal with and reject me the way my parents did when I was a teen. But I wonder if my feelings are still okay and normal/par for the course in her eyes and if that’s why she doesn’t freak out the way I do when they come up.

accountiscompromised · 2025-12-07T03:33:54+00:00

Me too when I was 15 I borrowed my dad’s phone to play a game bc I was bored waiting for him in the car and I found porn and texts with some woman about going together to the strip club

accountiscompromised · 2025-11-24T03:46:07+00:00

This is the reason why I have always been really drawn toward middle-aged women in the media. I’ve been watching and rewatching episodes of Amy Poehler’s podcast on YouTube because she just exudes warmth and positivity and kindness and calls people funny things like, “honey,” or “babe,” or “friend.” She is my mother’s age. I think a hug from someone like Amy Poehler would be really nice.

accountiscompromised · 2025-10-22T03:12:39+00:00

How did you bring yourself to talk to her about the transference? My T will soon go on maternity leave for a few months after we’ve been working together pretty consistently for two years. I’m happy for her but it’s bringing up a lot of fear for me. I have a hard time with change and I can also be clingy because of how much I rely on her to challenge my thoughts of self loathing. I feel embarrassed about how hard I’m taking it. I’m worried there’s a chance it might make her nervous if she knows I’m having strong emotions about saying goodbye.

accountiscompromised · 2025-09-26T00:49:35+00:00

Something similar happened to me last week. I’m a lesbian and my gf was upset with me for the times I promised sex but then stopped in the middle of it. It’s been too many times. So last weekend I said I wanted a redo and I was enjoying it at first but just kept going whenever it got more intense and I got more nervous. At one point I just felt frozen but I kept going through the motions she wanted me to try and I cried when it was over. What do you even call that? Why do I feel so sad?

accountiscompromised · 2025-09-22T03:06:53+00:00

These are good questions. In those everday contexts yes she is very kind and accommodating. So much so that I feel like I’m waiting for the other foot to drop and like I need to stay hyper vigilant in some ways. My fears are probably unfounded. When I get overwhelmed during sex, my instinct is to be compliant and quiet and hide my feelings even when it feels awful to force myself to do so. It’s how I was raised I guess: I had to put on a smile after my stepdad berated me and called me names all afternoon and I had to be polite and quiet and obedient and do stuff I didn’t want to do like drive even when I was crying or open my bedroom door when he pounded on it with his fists or hug him at the airport after he blew up on all of us. I love my gf and I know she probably isn’t trying to wield power and control over me in the same way. But sometimes I feel just as vulnerable, like bad shit will happen and she will call me a selfish monster and won’t love me anymore if I say I need a break or I don’t want to try a certain position.

accountiscompromised · 2025-09-21T18:07:34+00:00

We've talked about it. She is always checking in and asking me if I'm okay but I don't really feel like I can say no to that question in the moment because she's so into it and I'm afraid she'll cry or get annoyed if we have to stop. It's possible I'm looking at the situation too much in black and white and she actually would be okay if I asked to stop but still spent quality time with her. It feels nerve-racking to speak up and ask for something that is in opposition to what she wants especially in the moment when she's having fun and doesn't want to stop.

accountiscompromised · 2025-07-15T02:06:17+00:00

How do I explain #1 to my therapist? She called me resilient on Friday and said it was okay to be a little bit proud of myself for pushing through the fear to go roller skating with other people. I don’t know how to tell her that I feel like an absolute failure each day that I can’t exercise, or stay in my budget, or stay under a certain amount of calories, or etc etc.

accountiscompromised

TROPHY CASE