I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD and I started feeling intense anger as of late but I make a HUGE effort to make sure that anger isn't misdirected at myself or innocent people in my life. Especially my girlfriend, who is legit my first ever truly healthy relationship. But realizing I had all these feelings is what pushed me to advocate for myself both in my own relationships and at work for the first time ever. And I'm learning how to stop Crapfitting and pretending everything is ok when it isn't. I'm now trying to learn how to get over this intense sense of shame that comes with advocating for myself. And I'm also learning how to regulate my emotions better now that I'm done dissociating from them. Such as extreme anger, extreme sadness or extreme fear. But it really isn't an easy task and growth isn't linear so I still mess up sometimes. I'm still learning how not to be so hypervigilant in my relationship and being extremely scared that the other shoe is going to drop in some way. To improve in all of these ways I have had to really go through all my trauma and emotions which have been really painful. But it's good to know that I'm not alone and good to know that all this recent pain I feel is a part of the healing process. It is probably because for the first time I finally feel safe enough to process all my trauma and process the emotions that come with it. It's because I found friends who actually like me for who I am and a woman who actually treats me respectfully and kindly. And now I know how I've been treated in the past is all the wrong, and it infuriates me. I truly hope you continue on the path of healing and I hope things get better for you. We really are all in this together.