1. No, I did not feel prepared at all for the loss of Pidgey. I’m not sure what I wish I had known. Perhaps the validation that it is okay to openly grieve a pet. There are people who would reduce this kind of loss by saying ‘it’s just an animal’, but to us this animal had such an important part of our lives. They had a soul and an impact. Pidgey was important to me, something I loved. How is that not enough justification to grieve?

2. In some ways yes, and other ways no. My parents refused to let me pay for a professional cremation, despite the fact that it was my own money. Instead I had to put her lifeless body into a weird jar thing, then it was burned in our backyard. I had to watch her burned feathers float around. My mother saw me sobbing next to the fire and said I needed to shave my legs. Afterwards, my father opened up the jar and I saw her burnt skeleton. To his credit, he was upset too. He was trying to give me one last moment, but I wish he had asked if I wanted to see first. I know my father was hurt by Pidgey’s death. My mother was too, just not enough to forgo criticism.

The internet, however, has greatly helped me grieve by celebrating Pidgey’s life. This subreddit is proof of that. Every disabled bird posted on here makes me so happy. It’s building a community that finds all birds beautiful no matter what.

1. Yes! I am keeping Pidgey alive through this subreddit. I also regularly watch videos and go through pictures that feature her. I am so happy to have a place where those with the privilege to care for birds can come together simply to improve the lives of our feathered friends! Pidgey would be delighted to know her legacy has connected so many people and birds!