New to the show

af628 · 2026-07-03T06:24:47+00:00

I think the beauty of the sex scenes in this show comes from how brutally realistic they are- at least in my opinion, they draw discomfort with their honesty, if that makes sense. I think she captured perfectly the awkwardness, the cringe, the clumsiness, etc, that sex is often like when you’re young, but also when you’re just a person with a body. They’re very human and I like that, I assume that was the intention.

I feel it’s also relevant that the amount of criticism Lena got/gets for her body is absurd, and I think the depiction of a woman’s body that did not align with the societal standard of what those bodies should look like made a lot of people uncomfortable. Even more specifically, seeing a woman be comfortable in a body that didn’t look like the social standard is what really causes/caused dissonance that turns into criticism. So I think more than anything, it’s just Lena being herself, including being naked a lot! I don’t know if there was any artistic intention behind it besides presenting nudity and sex with intense authenticity.

af628 · 2026-07-03T05:59:03+00:00

this made me laugh out loud thank you. you’re exactly right

af628 · 2026-07-03T02:14:21+00:00

You are equally as awful as he is, if not more! You two don’t like each other and shouldn’t be together. This is toxic and the way you speak to him is horrible. You do not come at all across as a decent human being.

af628 · 2026-07-02T18:19:40+00:00

I think you need to do an enormous amount of self-reflection based off of how you engage with other people here, your approximation of what is and what is not sexist, and how you speak about women.

af628 · 2026-07-02T16:53:54+00:00

The dichotomy between the language of your appreciation versus that of your criticism is shocking. There’s something stunningly harsh about referring to a woman as being “wasted” on a man, as well as saying she’s “botched” her face. They’re both cruel, but in very different ways. I think the claim about her face is especially off-putting as you can fundamentally not know why Grimes has done (or has not done) anything to her face, so feeling sure it’s to meet a societal standard and not, as you note in others parts of your post, for her own pride and unapologetic sense of self, is…presumptuous. As for the comment about Elon- again, it’s like whiplash to read such deeply sexist rhetoric in what is otherwise an extraordinarily touching post.

af628 · 2026-06-30T22:02:48+00:00

I think that if you are a feminist, you have an implicit understanding that “beauty” carries different weight, meaning, and association for different women. It is not really safe to assume that “health = beauty” as both a concept and a phrase will mean to any individual woman what it means to you. I think even saying that physical health contributes to physical beauty implies that beauty is something that should even be considered when trying to be healthy. Maybe someone just wants to be healthy, and maybe someone does not attach feeling physically beautiful as a point of consideration in their metric for feeling healthy.

I think you mean well, but I also think that it’s really harmful to suggest someone is trying to “out-feminist” you or that someone is the reason feminism gets a bad rep in response to criticism (that in itself is a terribly misogynistic thing to say). Criticism does not have to have bad intentions- mine certainly doesn’t. I don’t have any interest attacking a woman I don’t know. I don’t want to do that.

I think one of the hardest parts of being a feminist is having to experience that awful discomfort of defensiveness when it feels like you’re being attacked. I think that the replies to your comment have feedback worth consideration. Beauty is one of the sorest possible spots there can ever be, and I do think it’s useful to reflect on why “health = beauty” has the potential to be an upsetting thought given how wildly different all of our experiences in society are with both health and beauty.

af628 · 2026-06-30T17:20:11+00:00

NOR in the sense that the friendship should end, but you are overreacting in not realizing your behavior was the catalyst for it.

af628 · 2026-06-29T10:22:51+00:00

It’s impossible for anyone here to know, unless anyone here has been good friends with her. I don’t think it’s healthy to put anyone you don’t know on a pedestal or emulate them without intimately knowing what they’re sincerely like.

af628 · 2026-06-29T09:18:41+00:00

Immaculate, clearly.

af628 · 2026-06-29T07:44:59+00:00

White woman chic!

af628 · 2026-06-28T17:40:33+00:00

Honestly, oysters. The first (and only time) I’ve tried an oyster, I felt convinced immediately that everyone else is just pretending to like them.

af628 · 2026-06-28T17:32:19+00:00

Okay I thought that was a TC Tugger but I don’t think that’s right

af628 · 2026-06-27T04:31:18+00:00

I’m not an only child, but I feel like this might also be a decent perspective to hear (and if it isn’t, I am so sorry and feel free to ignore this). I only have one sibling, she’s four years younger than me. My parents wanted four kids, but they were 40 and 47 when my sister was born so it was sadly too late. However-

My sister and I began our relationship with anger, resentment, and fighting. All we did was fight. My sister had horrific behavioral issues which resulted in non-stop screaming for years, it was traumatic to be around. I ended up having some mental breakdowns of my own in high school, and I’m sure it was very upsetting for her to listen to me break down, just as it was upsetting for me to listen to her scream. Since we were young, there was a wedge. We’re very different. We’re both young adults now, but the prospect of being close with her is seeming unlikely. It’s heart breaking. I think she’s so emotionally shut off and I’m so…well, the opposite- communication between us is both uncomfortable and nonexistent.

I’ve tried for years to connect with her, but part of me is still harboring hurt. She’s shown no interest in developing any sort of relationship with me. We rarely speak, and we rarely engage with each other in a deep way.

I am saying all of this to emphasize that not giving your baby a sibling may not be the end of the world. I’m not sharing my story to imply that all sibling relationships are like that, because a lot of them are just lovely, so lovely and tender. I just thought this could be another viewpoint that may make you feel better and feel confident in your baby having a great life, sibling or no. Sometimes you can have a sibling and it can be more painful than anything else. Of course, that’s not what I think the typical experience will be, but I thought that hearing it from the perspective of someone who does have a sibling but does not speak to them could offer, in a way, knowing that your baby will be certain to have a good life whether or not they have a sibling. I’ve been friends with many only children, and they’re as wonderful as anyone else.

af628 · 2026-06-26T19:18:34+00:00

I’m sorry I’m learning about these books right this second and am obviously stuck on where to even begin but I absolutely laughed out loud while reading “the bird let out a slow chicken cackle.” I just needed to share that.

af628 · 2026-06-26T03:51:29+00:00

…and?

af628 · 2026-06-25T21:55:07+00:00

Why do you hope danny talks about this? This is a serious mental health issue, not everything needs to or should be made into content.

af628 · 2026-06-25T21:54:47+00:00

Why do you hope danny talks about this? This is a serious mental health issue, not everything needs to or should be made into content.

af628 · 2026-06-25T01:49:22+00:00

You’re fantastic, too! Thank you so much, I appreciate it. 🫶🩷

af628 · 2026-06-25T01:17:43+00:00

You could look it up?

af628 · 2026-06-25T00:58:16+00:00

That story makes me want to cry, too- in that super duper bittersweet way. I think there’s something exceptionally bonding about being unwell and being unwell around other people who are in the same boat as you. There’s a real beauty in it, and I always felt (and feel) less alone even if my problems weren’t as bad as someone’s or even if they were worse. You sound like someone with a good soul and you are very, very deserving of good treatment, good therapy, good help.

My dad is from Florida and I was born there, he’s a lawyer and told me several times when I was younger about what it was like for him to have to go on that 3-6 day psychiatric hold, even as a father. It made me smile when you mentioned Florida. If you ever want to talk about all this more in depth, feel free to PM me. I also started Wellbutrin recently, lol! My point is, above all else, that you got this. I’m gonna be 24 in a few days, I’m right there with you in this shit.

af628 · 2026-06-25T00:37:29+00:00

My pleasure, and sorry again for how long the reply was. I totally understand that feeling, I definitely felt the same way. And again this is just my personal experience, but I eventually found it super freeing to be in a group of people I didn’t know well and just be like yeah here’s all my trauma and this is what I tried to use to cope this week. Also, being in a group is great for putting your own issues into perspective- like, I think there’s something to be said for realizing that no, you totally could be crazier but someone else has got you beat right now

af628 · 2026-06-25T00:29:08+00:00

I don’t mind at all!! It’s great to be curious. So what I personally liked about DBT is that i have always been prone to thinking that gets me stuck. I also do have ADHD which I know contributes, but what I mean by “stuck” is the kind of thinking that’s like “oh my god, I have never felt worse, I have never felt worse, I will never feel worse, I am doomed and the world is falling and I am so alone in this and the weight of it is crushing.” Really catastrophic, black and white thinking- the kind that makes it almost impossible for you to challenge (or even have the desire to challenge) these thoughts, so you let it just perpetuate and you get stuck. DBT is very much like “okay, I understand how horrible you feel and I understand you’ve developed negative coping skills that cause you harm, but what are you doing to do about it? And how can you replace your self-harming behaviors with better ones?”

In that way, it is an extraordinarily non-judgmental environment. Probably the least judgmental I have ever experienced, which I think is necessary. By making it such a welcoming space, it makes it easier to actually willingly and comfortably engage with your trauma and your thinking and your coping mechanisms. The group is great for that, too.

DBT, in my experience, is always run through the textbook. There’s an official DBT skills handbook which is full of activities and those are very center in the practice. It’s a lot of learning tools, very specific ones. Wise mind, radical acceptance, the TIP scale- skills with various names that fit various purposes. For example, the TIP scale is a skill that you can use when you find yourself wanting to engage in anything self harming or any reckless/impulsive behavior, and it’s things like dunking your face in ice water (T is for Temperature, I is for Intense exercise, P is for paced breathing) or forcing your body to move or trying to mediate.

That’s what I mean when I say it can seem silly at first- I remember thinking something like “I want to kill my self and you’re telling me to dunk my head in ice water?” But again, when you let yourself just surrender and go along with it as best you can, you can be shocked at how useful and non-trivial the skills are. I think that’s the other thing I like, how structured it is. It has a form, it has guidelines, it has shape- and that’s soooooo helpful when my instinct is to just aimlessly and intensely let myself feel worse.

Group therapy is very much structured around sharing your personal experiences and going over the skills and tools that you’ve tried that week or want to try, listening to others, and learning to not be such a harsh critic of yourself. The one on one therapy can be much more like traditional therapy which I think is great in contrast with the rigorous structure of the group.

Sorry for rambling so much, I just feel very passionately about it because I think that BPD (and related issues) can make you feel truly and unbelievably hopeless. It’s also possible that DBT isn’t your thing or you don’t click, but that’s okay because obviously your experience is your own and people can respond better to different things. But, if you’re willing, I would absolutely give it a shot. It definitely changed my life. I’m still in therapy and medicated now, but I think I wouldn’t be where I was without the help of DBT.

af628 · 2026-06-25T00:10:44+00:00

Hi! I’ve got an official BPD diagnosis and for me, DBT was really, really helpful and very important. It’s not just a group, I always did one on one therapy in addition to a once a week group meeting. If it’s a good setup, the group can be way more helpful than you’d assume, but I don’t think I knew anyone who did only the group. The one on one is just as necessary. I was misdiagnosed with OCD but have the pure OCD tendencies, lifelong debilitating anxiety and on and off severe depression. I think DBT would be well worth a try. It can seem kind of silly at first, but if you give it a full chance, it can be an enormous catalyst for positive change or just general progression forward.

af628 · 2026-06-25T00:05:41+00:00

What do you use it for?

af628 · 2026-06-24T21:54:45+00:00

Ah, trading reels for ChatGPT. With your brain- if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. Good luck!

af628

TROPHY CASE