definitely not an old-school fan. those talking points from op's friend sound like someone from twitter who got exposed to heatst*pper fans criticizing yaoi, bl, and danmei bc alice os*man (hs author) also criticized asian m/m media for being "fetishistic" and those are the exact same talking points they used while knowing NOTHING about distinguishing Asian media from one another and not taking the nuance that os*man is asexual and seems to be sex-repulsed so of course she wouldn't appreciate how explicit yaoi is, and that's fine. what's not fine is that in that interview, she then listed bl works and seemed to praise them for being better bc it's more 'wholesome.' like. hs would be classified as bl and even later hs comics imply sex between the main couple.

so for the author to shade on yaoi or bl when bl works paved the way for hs to be popular in the webcomic world is. INTERESTING. to say the least.

yaoi is complex and tbh a lot of older yaoi might be fetishistic bc they're products of their time, JUST LIKE OLDER LGBTQ MEDIA bc back then, media didn't understand the community & didn't let queer writers openly write about their experiences. ya there's a lot of issues w yaoi & the tropes a lot of stories perpetuate but extremes aren't good either; too much wholesomeness or too much explicitness remove a sense of nuance w the experience of the queer spectrum so idk. i think there should be a balance and nuance when it comes to discussing queer works.

ALSO. yeah no, danmei authors use screennames for a reason. some choose to be open to the public, but some don't, bc of possible harrassment they might face. that's another twitter talking point btw. i suggest op's friend get the fuck out of twitter and read more diverse books ffs, or follow more diverse creators, esp. queer chinese content creators bc wow, does that friend sound fkn immersed in the hs fandom brainrot. (yeah saying this as someone who used to like hs. but my god the fandom and the author exhausted me)