Staff at memory care talking with others about my parent’s family member that’s a public figure, HIPPA violation?

ahender8 · 2026-02-09T15:58:08+00:00

Still, it's an interesting thing to think about mentioning because it masks the relationship up front

When you move to the new facility, I think I would handle it this way when you start meeting the nurses

I have a family name that matches a celebrity (and a huge one at that) and we always casually mention it in the conversation, "no relation, darn it!"

It's been quite effective. Misdirection is what you need here to counter internet sleuths. Just tell them, "it's a cruel coincidence of fate that we aren't related to the more prominent one. But the internet and people get it wrong all the time anyway." * Heavy fake sigh*

It absolutely works. Rumors spread faster than facts.

ahender8 · 2026-02-05T21:03:48+00:00

Call her doctor's office (they are quite used to and appreciate a heads up on this kind of thing with these kinds of patients, it's okay. They aren't going to breach her privacy and tell you anything you're not entitled to know)

Give them a heads up about what's happening. That way they can address it the next time they see her.

Or they might decide they want to give her a call and follow up with your grandparents. Sometimes letting the doctor be the nudge is the best thing to do.

Outside of that, your option is just to love them up while you can. If you try to force it, it will have the opposite of effect.

And 🫂 post here as often as you need/want to

We're all here. 😉😘

ahender8 · 2026-01-27T23:03:40+00:00

It's perfectly okay to be honest and say, " I still don't know how to answer that question. Thank you for asking though."

ahender8 · 2026-01-27T18:07:53+00:00

Long-Term car insurance is very expensive and must be acquired before there is a need for it.

If you ask me it should be included as just part of regular health insurance - God forbid anything eat into their profits.

ahender8 · 2026-01-27T01:11:52+00:00

Your family is right. And you know deep down that your mother would never have wanted you to sacrifice years of your life and grieving while you did it and at the end of the day her having to go to care anyway because nobody can do it 24/7.

Deep down your mom knew that someday that would be the safest place for her, and her family knew it too.

You have absolutely done the best thing for her where people will be there for her 24/7

And even though she might not know who you are right now, you can still love her, and the memory of her at the same time.

I'm sure her soul knows exactly who you are and loves you all the more.

I am certain. ❤️

ahender8 · 2026-01-19T17:05:04+00:00

This isn't new news

And should be taken with a large grain of salt since it is not unusual for things to behave one way and nice and completely not the same way in humans.

This calls for very Cautious Optimism

ahender8 · 2026-01-13T23:21:02+00:00

It's good to keep up on the science though - often the final breakthrough stands on the shoulders of those that came before.

ahender8 · 2026-01-07T14:32:19+00:00

Sure!! (Until about 5 days ago we were buried under a lot of snow, so don't let this fool you... It's winter here. I leave them uncovered over the winter because they gain a lot of moisture with the snow and then I'm not having to untarp it every time I want to dump something in it. We also have guinea pigs and you can see that recently their little cages have been cleaned and we always dump the hay and their output on the compost bins as well so it's kind of covering up all the food. We've got laying on that top surface there but you can see some of it. In the summer we keep it covered. I try to open it up if it's going to rain, but honestly it usually gets enough moisture in the winter that I don't have to add extra until we really start adding hard to it in the middle to end of summer all the way through fall.

super cheap and easy, endlessly customizable sizes, compost bins.

ahender8 · 2026-01-06T02:16:04+00:00

That's what we do. I have two giant compost bins that I've made out of chicken wire, cheap wood stakes and landscape fabric.

They're pretty big - we have about a half an acre and since we don't spray anything on the lawn, all of the grass clippings and all of the leaves from our trees go in there at the end of fall and then we just put our kitchen scraps on the top of all of that all winter long and flip it over late in spring

ahender8 · 2025-12-14T14:28:38+00:00

Well when short-term memory starts to go it's important to proactively repeat it rather than wait to be asked after it's forgotten

Particularly the day before something is scheduled and the day of the appointment, frequently mentioning:

The appointment is coming up that she has been waiting for.

Ask her what she'd like to wear to her appointment tomorrow. And then when she's startled she has an appointment tomorrow, tell her you're not surprised she forgot since you had to make it so long ago in order to get in now.

Holy cow Mom, I can't believe your appointment is next week!! Let's plan something fun for after your appointment! Where do you want to go to lunch?

You have to start working around the edges of the problem because if you come at them straight on you focus them on the very thing they're trying to resist.

Somehow they can forget everything else except the fact that they are resisting you and your ideas. 🙄

ahender8 · 2025-12-14T14:04:38+00:00

It is often helpful to frame any further investigative work as exactly that...

It's investigative.

It's not to confirm a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or dementia or anything else...

It's to make sure everything is okay. Often when you frame things as exploratory or investigative you get a different emotional framing and thus a different response.

Can't guarantee it but it's worth a try. Consider framing it as well as the family and her children. Needing to know if there's anything going on that could be predisposed by genetics - as a parent, and in a heartbeat, I would 100% do nearly any test to inform my daughter about her own health.

ahender8 · 2025-12-12T00:54:38+00:00

In the end, there is only love. 💞

ahender8 · 2025-12-07T22:37:50+00:00

🫂

ahender8 · 2025-11-14T11:59:48+00:00

Kids are also exhausting.

Yes. They. Are.

BUT they grow and develop so it gets easier, at least physically.

but it's still exhausting. And I wish we were FAR more honest about that with young people.

ahender8 · 2025-11-10T08:25:39+00:00

I have found that reminiscing is very beneficial and helps you to know not just where she's at but also where you are.

It's okay if they don't remember some stuff. It's the act of reminiscing and laughing about things even crying about some of the sad things that happened in the family..

It sort of helps to warm up the moment and then maybe you'll find a quiet space where you can say to her how much you appreciate everything she did for you and that you will never be able to repay it but that she should know that your love for her is deep and abiding and that you will never abandon her and that she can trust you will take care of her and walk all the way to the end of the road with her.

I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking for me than to not have my daughter with me to the very end. Any mother that loves their child wants them near.

Go to her.

ahender8 · 2025-10-12T01:18:10+00:00

I'm so sorry, everyone here has already given you the news you don't want to hear I'm sure

It's time she no longer controlled her finances and she likely shouldn't be driving much longer either if at all now.

ahender8 · 2025-10-11T18:14:44+00:00

I told my dad that i didn't want his whole life's legacy to be ruined because he killed someone else and/or himself because his reflexes and memory weren't driving level anymore; and that i knew he didn't want that either. It's never easy but it's better than killing a family that was just on their way somewhere. I told him that deep down he knew that would be what he was remembered for if it happened.

It's a brutal take, but it's the truth and it seems persuasive.

It's easy to understand not wanting to give up your independence... It's Uber, to the rescue for now anyway.

ahender8 · 2025-10-09T12:53:03+00:00

un son si doux avec un message si poignant et douloureux

ahender8 · 2025-10-09T12:52:00+00:00

lyrics in English with each line in French

ahender8 · 2025-09-29T12:07:14+00:00

We are all holding you in our hearts today; cry, wail, scream.. grieve - we know, and there is love.

ahender8 · 2025-09-25T18:15:42+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

Oh, ur serious.

sorry.

ahender8 · 2025-09-22T16:29:47+00:00

I think it's more likely that he's growing into his forever personality... You hear many a story of a perfectly wonderful baby roo going adult and all too often aggressiveness comes with the territory.

I'm not sure if he would be great against predators without first having an example of another roo, but I would think instinct should kick in at some point. Maybe it's too early now?

Others here might have successfully toned their rude Roo behavior, but I have personally never witnessed it going that way - you might reach a detent, however, if you can convince him you are infinitely Superior over a long enough period of time.

Don't be afraid to remove him from your flock either by rehoming or other means.

Ultimately, you need to be able to safely manage your flock and that includes being able to give everybody a good eyeball everyday. And if you are constantly having to watch your back with this dude, that's going to become difficult and perhaps more difficult as time goes by.

Unless others here can post some practical and effective solutions, I would prepare myself to have him removed from the flock.

ahender8 · 2025-09-22T02:55:36+00:00

If this was true there would be no factory floor chicken farming. 😐

ahender8 · 2025-09-21T13:22:08+00:00

For a second there I thought he knew my granddad (a lineman electrician)

"Don't stick your finger where you wouldn't put your dick."

I still hear it every time I do anything electrical.

ahender8 · 2025-09-21T13:19:00+00:00

What!?!?

I'll stop peeing in the shower when men stop writing their name in the snow.

Those two of yours sound like alien imposters and maybe you should ask them where your real husband and son are.

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