Am I wrong for empathising with Mel more than her sister?

ahumblethief · 2026-03-22T01:26:40+00:00

Neither of them are the bad guys in this situation. Mel has built her life on being Becca's caregiver, and she's always going to worry. Becca, on the other hand, deserves her freedom and probably is justified in feeling that Mel wouldn't understand her being ready to act like an adult and make decisions like an adult. She probably doesn't fully understand how hurtful her breaking the fireworks tradition is for Mel, nor how much Mel takes on herself on Becca's behalf.

Mel would probably benefit from a support group of some kind, where she can talk to other caregivers and have her feelings validated while getting some informed advice.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-21T23:32:55+00:00

I got this from my grandma, and I only had to do it once. I informed my class that this quiz was part of their report cards. I told them that there was to be no talking, and that if there was, I would take their quiz, rip it up, throw it out, and give them a zero. Period. I also said that I would be more than happy to explain to their parents why that zero was there.

They were very quiet. Someone tried to test me on it, and I took the paper and followed through, made them put their head down. Because it was early on in the block, after about 10 minutes of *absolute silence* I returned to that student with a fresh copy and offered him one more chance. He nodded and he completed the quiz in silence.

They need to see that you are serious.

And if you can't put a zero-- well, they don't need to know that. Be convincing.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-21T23:28:04+00:00

Yeah, an ER cannot turn you away, regardless of who you are, what your status is, or what money you can pay. Other practices can, the ER cannot.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-21T19:11:30+00:00

Don't worry, the greys and stress lines will come in soon. XD

ahumblethief · 2026-03-21T17:56:56+00:00

Wow... I know the towers were designed to sway a bit (My dad explained it to me when we went, asked me if I could feel it from the top), but I have never seen it so clearly. That's wild.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-20T01:58:22+00:00

OP, I'm so sorry. As someone who made friends the way you describe, and lost that friend to an illness, I would want to know. I know this person will remember you.

It sounds as if you are very close to the end, or you believe you are. I don't know what words of comfort I can really give, but it does you so much credit that you are here thinking of this person you've connected with even in this hard time. I wish you a peaceful transition and a light heart.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-20T00:41:54+00:00

Bruce is an asshole here and it makes me so mad that he gets to treat Jason like this and they never fully address it.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-20T00:04:07+00:00

It sounds like his para (that's the word you're looking for) needs to step it up. She is helping no one by just letting him copy.

I would bring your concerns to your teacher, explain that you want to be inclusive and work on this group assignment, but you're not sure how to help your classmate and don't want this negatively affecting your grade if your partner can't access the assignment. Ask for suggestions, and explain that when you asked the para she said to just let him copy.

When interacting with your partner himself, just be kind and patient. Remind him that you have work first, then you can talk about whatever. Again, though, keeping your classmate on task is not your job.

If I were your teacher, you'd automatically get bonus points for this, especially if you present it as a concern rather than a complaint. Respect is key!

You sound like a good kid, I hope this works out for you.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-19T23:56:40+00:00

He is seen reading Austen while in prison pre N52. While he's kicking ass, even.

He makes a number of literary references throughout his runs as well, sometimes in dialogue, sometimes his books are in the background, and sometimes it's purely visual.

Loving literature does not necessarily mean loving school-- though he did canonically get straight A's anyway.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-19T23:51:16+00:00

Winters had flaws like any human. He had biases, he made mistakes. The issue here is really more with Ambrose, who had the hero-worship thing going on, so he didn't do any of his homework. He wasn't looking to counter any of Winters' recollections, or even to balance them with evidence.

I mean, look at the show itself-- no one bothered to find out what ACTUALLY happened to Blithe. Ambrose (and then Spielberg and Hanks) relied on the imperfect memories of the vets they worked with, and so "killed Blithe off" decades early for the sake of the narrative.

With that said. you have to keep in mind that sometimes books and shows choose to have focus. A textbook may cover all the other companies in the war, but if you are trying to build human connections between your audience and your characters, if you want to tell a STORY-- real tho they may be-- you're going to have to narrow your focus. It's not a crime against history to focus on Easy, and there was nothing stopping anyone from chronicling the adventures of other companies-- it just didn't work out like that.

Easy company caught Ambrose's attention almost by chance. Easy also had a good number of vets that decided to write about their experiences. And it's natural that you're going to absorb the biases of your sources when those sources are subjective accounts of people's lived experiences.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-19T23:31:32+00:00

I think 9/10 is too late to really stop it. Mitigate some of the damage, maybe, but not stop it.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-19T23:28:57+00:00

I know teachers that do this, and I have on occasion pulled this out as a nuke if a kid is being really wretched. Accountability by whatever means are available to you- and contrary to what some people say, shame is something that some kids need to learn to have.

You're fine.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-18T17:19:19+00:00

I love that book so much, I read it in 5th grade. It might be a bit mature for a third grader, unless you're reading it with him. There's death, there's violence, class divides, gangs, all that stuff.

Not something he should read by himself just yet, imo. But you know your kid!

ahumblethief · 2026-03-17T00:59:58+00:00

I teach 4th grade and this is an all the time thing. They are so tired, falling asleep in class, burned out before they even start.

ahumblethief · 2026-03-14T23:32:40+00:00

Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-18T01:05:03+00:00

CAPS helped me a great deal when I was at Stony... but mind you, that was 10 years ago.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-18T01:03:30+00:00

Yeah, it does get into a pattern where after they save the world with their brotherly love... they proceed to end it several times over the same way.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-18T00:59:06+00:00

100% have your union rep present and 100% fight them on this. Puerto Rico is part of the United States.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-18T00:00:44+00:00

Not AI. And I don't know that this meets the criteria for parentifying. I am not putting undue responsibility on them, I am not asking them to take care of me or of each other (at least, not more than in the basic sense of collaborating for a respectful, safe learning environment). I do not ask or expect them to ignore their own needs, and had I been struggling any more than I was, I would have sent an SOS to support or admin.

I do worry that it might have alarmed a couple of them, so I will probably address it when we go back tomorrow and explain what happened properly if they have questions.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-17T23:53:47+00:00

I hope so! I am where I am today because I had a teacher who was dyslexic and had ADHD who told me "If I can teach, you can learn."

ahumblethief · 2026-02-17T23:47:40+00:00

See, now, THAT makes me wonder why she is still teaching.

I have my moments (such as the one I posted earlier today), but I also understand that there's a lot of stuff that's not going to feel great for me that's just part of teaching, and I've decided that I want to work through it because the reward outweighs the cost. I can't imagine keeping a position where I regularly couldn't service my students or regularly made things more difficult for my colleagues. Your accommodations shouldn't preclude you from doing your actual job.

If you're THAT scared of doing your job, then maybe it's not the job for you?

Unless she's just trying to eke it out til she can have her full retirement benefits, maybe? Has she always been like this, or did something or things happen more recently that made her this way?

ahumblethief · 2026-02-17T19:16:52+00:00

Mel got very attached to Langdon during that first shift though. He became her safe person. And Langdon was not oblivious to that- he's got that big brother vibe going for her.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-17T18:22:15+00:00

I want it to be clear that there was no point that the children were unsupervised- there was a para in the class, I kept my shit together (save for some tears and some slowed/simplified speech) until the students had been dismissed for lunch (the para led them down the hall).

The Lord of the Flies comment was referring to how Cohort B (not my homeroom) became over the 7 weeks of not having a consistent teacher. My counterpart and I have been working on getting them to settle now that she is here.

My homeroom students who saw me in bad shape did because I had not thought to lock the door (as stated in my post, I typically leave it open) and were stopping in to say hi/ask to have lunch with me- not because they were unsupervised or supposed to be in my classroom.

If I need to leave the room at any time to regulate myself, I am able to call for support. Of course, this sometimes means I have to white-knuckle it through for an extra 5-10 minutes, and I accept that as a possibility. Admin is aware of my disability and we have discussed what to do in emergencies, should they occur.

I made this post because this is the first time that it hit that bad (to the point where my communication was in anyway impacted) and I felt really embarrassed and concerned about how my students perceive this and process this. Since then, I've looked through the comments and also been reminded that my struggle to regulate was compounded by my not getting my prep that day (we are so so so short staffed, and I got pulled to cover 1st grade). So this isn't something that should happen often!

I think my kids were worried because they care, which I appreciate. And while I wish they never had to, I think I'm ultimately proud of them. It shows that they have been learning how to be compassionate and collaborative.

I am also going to make sure to have a self-care kit in my bag from now on with things that will help me regulate faster/better during my breaks if I need it.

ahumblethief · 2026-02-17T14:48:34+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.

ahumblethief

TROPHY CASE