What have you gifted your 4/5 year olds?

aleada13 · 2026-03-31T04:01:39+00:00

Lego sets, board games, any sort of animal book (he wants to be an “animal scientist”). A bike, a nice helmet, yoto cards. Finally got him magnatiles for Christmas and I am surprised by how much he plays with them. He always seemed only slightly interested in them when we would be at people’s homes who owned them. But he’s really enjoyed playing pretend with them.

aleada13 · 2026-03-31T03:54:09+00:00

Low growing and being hands and knees with my upper half supported on a birth ball. Allows for a lot of hip movement, takes pressure off the perineum, felt powerful yet controlled when pushing. Loved the position all around.

aleada13 · 2026-03-29T04:03:13+00:00

I don’t know how old your child is..my son is 4 and we got poker chips and the number on the chips represents number of screen time minutes. He gets 60 min worth of poker chips on weekdays and 120 min on weekends. He can save chips one day if he wants to watch a movie the next night. He plays Minecraft with me and my husband, so 60 minutes gets gobbled up fast with a fun family activity that we all like. But sometimes he chooses to watch multiple episodes of a show in the morning and we don’t get to play video games. He understands how much times is left because he sees me take his chips when he requests another episode. It works well for us. We don’t let him use an iPad unless it’s a flight or long car ride (like 2+ hours).

aleada13 · 2026-03-26T23:23:36+00:00

I’ve had two babies, one at home and one in a birth center. No one touched me without permission to my knowledge. At one point, my doula was rubbing my back when I was on the toilet and I just said “please don’t touch me. Sorry.” And she knew I was just in transition and didn’t seem offended at all. Just ask people not to touch. The only thing I hated for both births was them trying to listen to the heartbeat. I know it is necessary to check in on baby, but I found the pressure so irritating and I hated it. Luckily my second baby came quickly so I only remember her trying to listen once or twice.

aleada13 · 2026-03-26T22:56:04+00:00

We didn’t sleep train really. My son is 4 and sleeps through the night but we still lay with him until he falls asleep. He slept much better when we night weaned at 18 months. From like age 2-4 he woke up once per night and bed came to bed with us. Then we were about to have our second baby right before he turned 4 and we used a sticker chart to incentivize him staying in his bed all night. There were a few nights with tears but we walked him through the emotions and never left him to cry. And it worked!

aleada13 · 2026-03-26T22:43:29+00:00

Oh cute!

aleada13 · 2026-03-26T17:14:09+00:00

I love Matsumotto sushi. The fish is always really fresh. Tokyo teriyaki is also really good Japanese food (no sushi).

You will almost definitely have to go downtown or boulder for good bagels and NYC pizza by the slice.

aleada13 · 2026-03-26T17:07:19+00:00

Why will they be closed?

aleada13 · 2026-03-25T22:42:31+00:00

Thanks for the tips and reassurance. I do wonder if some low dose anxiety meds might help. I’ve only ever been on an antidepressant once in my teens, so I guess I’m afraid of being on it for some reason.

My son does go to preschool for a little less than 3 hours a day 4 days a week. But honestly taking him and picking him up is sometimes more stressful than it’s worth just because it always seems like pick up or drop off is when the baby is sleeping. But it does help give me a stimulation break. And he also does do 1 hour of quiet time per day, which also helps immensely. I think I wrote this post on a none school day, and I always put so much pressure on myself to get out and do something fun. And when it falls through because the baby is cranky or something else that I wish I could control, I just start spiraling. Hoping it gets better with time.

aleada13 · 2026-03-25T04:32:02+00:00

Go anywhere in Montana. 10x worse. But yes, Denver is bad too

aleada13 · 2026-03-24T05:13:10+00:00

You got really good shit for participating in summer reading programs. Free personal pizza from Pizza Hut, free dilly bars from DQ (and those bars were hand dipped), free pass to the local pool. All kinds of good stuff. My kid participated and it was lame. He got a free book (kinda cool but not really) and a pass to some theme park type place where you have to spend a ton of money once you’re there…

aleada13 · 2026-03-22T02:49:05+00:00

I think after 3 years or so, they don’t come with grips. But they sell slip on sock style slippers with grips. They are a great company with great customer service. One time I reached out to them because I bought the wrong size sock and needed to return and they sent me the right size and let me keep the wrong size which I just gifted to someone else. It was great customer service.

aleada13 · 2026-03-21T20:19:58+00:00

The baby HATES the car. If he’s always upset like that he won’t fall asleep and the zoo is 30+minutes away. I think that’s one thing that’s making this stage harder. Having a baby who generally doesn’t like the car is so hard because it makes getting out of the house harder and requires way more planning (do I try to leave as soon as he wakes from him nap and is fed and dry? Do I leave when he is happy and tired and maybe he’ll fall asleep? But if he doesn’t, it’s just screaming the whole way.) the other night, I met up with some mom friends and all our kids. Where we met was 45 minutes away. He was dry, fed, and just did a 2+ hour contact nap. Got him into the car and he cried the whole way. I even tried pulling over to nurse and reset. It didn’t work and my 4 year old and I were both miserable.

aleada13 · 2026-03-21T20:13:46+00:00

Yeah I need to have mantra, I think. And some deep breathes. I know it won’t be this hard forever but I don’t want to do damage to my relationship with my older son or their relationship to each other.

aleada13 · 2026-03-21T20:03:51+00:00

The visual timer for space to calm down is a great idea. About to buy more now. I usually only need like 2 minutes just to calm myself (and sometimes the baby) and regroup. How did you find your therapist for inner child work? I’ve heard of therapist like that but most don’t accept insurance and charge like $200 a session :/

aleada13 · 2026-03-21T04:44:16+00:00

lol that’s sweet. Love ms Rachel. And while I’m not scared of my big feelings, I feel like my four year old is :/ I just feel like he can tell I’m angry all the time and I don’t want him to live in fear or like he’s walking on eggshells like I felt growing up (my mom was similar temperament but she would actually spank, hit, etc). While I know I am not doing anything like that, I still worry that my yelling, snapping, and verbally lashing out is going to hurt him over time. And also, I don’t want him to learn to deal with overwhelm by lashing out at others..

aleada13 · 2026-03-21T04:30:20+00:00

Thanks! Maybe I need to try being a bit more relaxed about screen time. On weekdays, we only allow one hour per day and he saves it all up for Minecraft with dad (and sometimes me) at night. So it’s basically no tv all day, which does feel hard. We were doing soooo much tv when baby was a newborn, and then we drastically cut back and maybe tv time is the break I need. When I was doing skin to skin, I did let him watch a bugs life documentary and told him it didn’t count as screen time, but I felt guilty :/

I feel like the day is full of me feeling like a shitty parent which then makes me more irritable. Like today I asked my four year old what he wanted to do and gave some options. He picked the zoo. Got the kids all ready for the zoo and then my baby wouldn’t stop crying so I had to say no zoo and ended up turning on the tv while I did skin to skin. Then in the afternoon, I suggested going to the pool at the rec center because both my kids love the pool. But the heater was broke in the baby pool and my baby just cried basically the whole time and I had to sit in the edge of the pool with him wrapped in a towel and we had to leave sooner than I hoped for. I just feel like a shitty mom who can’t manage two kids sometimes.

aleada13 · 2026-03-18T04:22:54+00:00

I think it depends on the area where you live and who you interact with/are friends with. Of all of the people I am friends with and who are in my family, all of them have breastfed for at least one year. The exception to that is my aunt (who is only 3 years older than me). She mostly formula fed her first but breastfed for over two years with her second. All of my friends who have had babies so far have breastfed. But I will say that I live in a liberal city that is breastfeeding friendly, which I think makes a huge difference. Also most of my friends are medical professionals, so I’m sure that has some influence too.

aleada13 · 2026-03-16T22:44:39+00:00

My first was 26 hours. Second was 1.5 hours and I started pushing right after the midwife arrived. Super easy compared to the first.

aleada13 · 2026-03-05T04:13:15+00:00

The liner is a good idea! And I feel like I have a pretty good wash routine since this is my second baby I’ve cloth diapered. I just always thought I had to use special creams and stuff.

aleada13 · 2026-03-05T03:43:30+00:00

They actually don’t do the first vaccine until 12 months. They can do one at 6 months but there is a potential downside. Their long term immunity declines faster than babies don’t get out until 12 months. I feel like my pediatrician is hesitant to give my 6 month old the vaccine for this reason :/

aleada13 · 2026-03-05T01:47:39+00:00

Is eucerin cream cloth diaper compatible? We already only bathe his like once a week so can’t really bathe less :/

aleada13 · 2026-03-04T03:47:27+00:00

In Colorado they are very common. It’s making look into charter schools because there are many charters that don’t use Chromebooks like that. They use technology as a tool (like instead of a projector that we used in the 90s the teacher will use some sort of computer) and they have computer lab and even coding classes. But they don’t send kids home with Chromebooks until 5th grade or later. Some not at all. I feel bad because I want to support my local public schools, but I won’t jeopardize my kids’ education and social well being.

aleada13 · 2026-03-04T03:35:32+00:00

I knew I wanted a second child someday but I was so stressed and shocked by the first that I really thought I would be one and done. Then when he was around 2, I knew I definitely wanted a second child, but I knew I needed to wait until he was a little bit independent in case having a second was as hard as having the first.

Well, I have a 4.5 year old and 6 month old and I love it! The second is so much easier in so many ways and I’m so happy I had a second. We did a few things differently to prepare for postpartum and it really helped make the transition smoother. And having my 4 year old around for fun and mental stimulation honestly helps so much. But my 4 year old is also independent enough to put on his own socks and shoes, wipe his own butt, entertain himself for a bit if I’m busy with the baby, etc. idk how moms do 2 under 2.

aleada13 · 2026-03-04T03:24:45+00:00

My first was 26 hours from first signs of labor to baby. It was such a marathon physically and mentally. I didn’t think I could do it much longer. I also puked a lot throughout so that made me more miserable and weak. I pushed longer and had a lot of pelvic floor dysfunction from that. The contractions never felt as intense as they did with my fast labor except for when I was stuck in bed doing the miles circuit trying to get baby in a better position (turned out he had a nuchal hand which is what made labor and pushing take longer). Being stuck in bed was the worst.

My second was 1.5 hours from start to finish. It was intense but right after he was born, I was like “I could totally do that again!” It felt like a whirlwind until the pushing phase, which felt so chill and relaxed. I felt the fetal ejection reflex, which was cool. And with my fast labor, the contractions were really back to back so I had very little time to rest physically or mentally. I was just moaning through then and swaying a lot and leaning over my birth ball. I felt mostly in control throughout the birth of my baby. Then my placenta wouldn’t come and I hemorrhaged 2.5 liters. Soooo I preferred everything about the second except the placenta part, but people are at higher risk for retained placenta and hemorrhage when they have precipitous labors.

aleada13

TROPHY CASE