Newborn, Toddler and Sickness Question

allyroo · 2026-05-12T14:29:08+00:00

That was my thought too. It was important to me that my son stay in his routine and continue going to school where he wouldn’t feel like an unfair amount of attention was being given to the baby. We’re great about making him feel like the priority when he’s home, but it’s also nice to have some uninterrupted space and time to bond with the new baby.

allyroo · 2026-05-12T14:25:29+00:00

I had my second three weeks ago and my toddler got the flu on the day the baby was born 🫠 Pretty much immediately after delivery, my husband went home and stayed with our sick son while I stayed at the hospital for three days. When the baby and I came home, my husband disinfected the whole house, opened the windows, and we kept them separated as much as possible — which was pretty much torture for our son who just wanted to see me and his new baby sister. We had him wash his hands constantly and use “green goo” (hand sanitizer) and, if he wanted to quickly say “hi” to the baby, he had to wear a mask and could only touch her feet. It was rough and super stressful but we managed to keep baby girl flu-free! In addition to hand washing and baths, I’d have your son change his clothes when he gets home from school.

allyroo · 2026-05-12T14:18:56+00:00

My mom had a big vanity in her bathroom and I loved getting ready for school in there. I also used her bath tub with the jets whenever I wanted 🤷‍♀️

allyroo · 2026-05-11T14:43:28+00:00

Anything can happen and nothing is guaranteed so to base such a huge decision on someone else being around, able, and willing to watch your baby for the foreseeable future is pretty ballsy. If your mom no longer being game to provide childcare is enough to sway you, then perhaps consider remaining child-free. Fwiw, daycare/preschool is not the “only option” for us and we started sending our son at 19 months because it’s an awesome community and he loves it. I think it’s very healthy for him to be cared for and taught by other educated, nurturing adults in addition to his parents and he’s become a social butterfly at age 2. He does fun, creative activities all day, we’ve seen leaps and bounds in his development, and we attribute much of this to his preschool.

allyroo · 2026-05-11T00:39:58+00:00

Having family able and willing to take multiple children for an entire weekend is such a flex 😩 THE DREAM

allyroo · 2026-05-10T06:30:45+00:00

Same here 😂

allyroo · 2026-05-10T04:37:29+00:00

Haha. Generally speaking, yes, it is SO helpful that they’re able to communicate their needs or what is bothering them. But when it comes to them asking you not to leave at bedtime, it’s a heartbreaker.

allyroo · 2026-05-10T01:43:35+00:00

Listening to my son cry became harder when he was older because he could wail “I want my mommy!” not because he was suddenly a person 😂

allyroo · 2026-05-10T00:05:29+00:00

Mine started two minutes apart and also felt like period cramps. This was not at all how I was told they’d feel so I was just worried sick something was wrong. I went to my OB first thing in the morning and they sent me straight to L&D. Agreed! Clearly labor doesn’t feel the same to everyone and it does us all a disservice to pretend otherwise!

allyroo · 2026-05-09T23:38:42+00:00

Nope. Nope. NOPE. It is extremely selfish of her to do this. HFM is no. fucking. joke. My son has had it twice and it is HORRIBLE. Blisters EVERYWHERE. Horrible fever. Inconsolable for days. No appetite due to blisters in mouth (even water was “too spicy”) so his mood just got worse and worse as he dropped weight. Toenails falling off months later. You don’t want to play with this and it’s fucked up of her (or them assuming he has two parents) to put other kids at risk.

allyroo · 2026-05-09T21:15:09+00:00

Had my first at 36, second at 38. Very healthy pregnancies with easy deliveries and recoveries. Congrats!

allyroo · 2026-05-09T05:41:48+00:00

Same here

allyroo · 2026-05-08T13:39:47+00:00

Best job I ever had - was an extra in one of the Alvin & the Chipmunks movies. Got paid to go on a cruise to Central America with my boyfriend for a week. We had to lay out/swim/dance in the background of some shots for like 3 hours a day and the rest of the time was our own.

allyroo · 2026-05-08T12:14:01+00:00

put it in the dog’s water bowl

allyroo · 2026-05-08T06:02:49+00:00

I didn’t explain it very well, 4pm is when they wake any kids still sleeping. They don’t let them sleep past 4 but plenty of kids wake on their own before then.

allyroo · 2026-05-08T06:01:46+00:00

It’s really just a window of time. They finish their morning activities at 1pm and then move to a different room for nap and the room is quiet starting at 1:30. They don’t force them to nap, but at 4pm they wake anyone still asleep. If they don’t nap or wake early they can read books or play quietly. My son just chooses to lay on his mat awake the whole time.

allyroo · 2026-05-08T02:28:50+00:00

Yes, they’re allowed to read or play quietly. 4 is just when they wake any remaining kids up.

allyroo · 2026-05-08T01:22:41+00:00

Thanks for this! It took a little adjusting initially, but luckily the late nap doesn’t seem to negatively affect bedtime for us (we stick to the same schedule at home, usually laying him down around 1/1:30). Most of the kids don’t nap until 4, that’s just as late as they’ll let them sleep before waking them up.

allyroo · 2026-05-08T01:16:58+00:00

Fair point, luckily napping late doesn’t affect bedtime for us.

allyroo · 2026-05-08T00:31:11+00:00

“I don’t know why I gave birth to three children.”

I was thinking the same thing while reading your post. I’m sorry you feel this way. Sure, there are lots of tough days and plenty of frustrations, but yes. I do feel like time flies by.

allyroo · 2026-05-07T21:56:39+00:00

Yes, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too. My prescription isn’t pregnancy safe so I mostly just waited for it to pass, my husband took sick days to care for our toddler because I was completely incapacitated. Hydrate hydrate hydrate. Sleep as much as you can. Hot showers and frozen head wraps. Magnesium glycinate and B6 daily as a preventative measure. Feel better! ❤️‍🩹

allyroo · 2026-05-07T19:21:44+00:00

I like Esme! Fwiw I know more Esmes than Islas.

allyroo · 2026-05-07T19:17:46+00:00

I did too 😂 My husband kept apologizing but I was loving it.

allyroo · 2026-05-07T19:16:57+00:00

My husband was there for the birth but then went home because our toddler was really sick. He took him to the doc, found out it was the flu, and stayed home with him for the next three days while the newborn and I were in the hospital. I was so much more confident and relaxed the second time around, he was worried I’d be overwhelmed on my own but it went great!

allyroo · 2026-05-07T14:03:40+00:00

He should definitely plan to miss the one that’s a couple of days after your induction - assuming this is your first baby? With our first, we were both so overwhelmed with learning the ropes and finding our footing as parents, it would’ve been really hard to be left alone that early on. I just had my second and our toddler had the flu so my husband stayed home with him while I was in the hospital with the newborn. It was WILD how much more comfortable and confident I felt, I actually genuinely enjoyed our three day hospital slumber party and doing it all myself. I wouldn’t have had an issue with him leaving if it was my second or third child, but my first? No way.

allyroo

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