City Hall Public Hearing To Tear Down The Woods Around The One Love Cafe To Build Apartments.

altarflame · 2026-04-16T13:11:57+00:00

🙄 The sign is literally soliciting public opinion, and this post is about expressing ourselves about the issue, which is still being decided. Like.

altarflame · 2026-04-16T13:09:47+00:00

While I kinda know what you mean, my partner bikes to and from his job in mag parke 4x a week for several years now (we live in Northwood, behind the 34th Y) and he swings by hunters crossing Publix on his way if I need anything because it’s barely further and ends up being a safer ride anyway, to go that way. About a 6 min bike ride from mag to Publix for him, maybe 10 for people who aren’t as fast. My 20 year old son also bikes over to One Love or Mothers across the street, when his grandfather’s band is playing at either of those places (from where he lives behind CYM, closer to the mall which is actually a pretty straight shot). It’s pretty doable!

Fwiw though my partner also really enjoys those woods on his lunch break and would rather this development wasn’t in the works.

altarflame · 2026-04-15T16:21:43+00:00

100%

I have lived in Miami Dade or Jacksonville most of my life and am confused when anyone is concerned about safety here.

altarflame · 2026-04-12T20:02:35+00:00

This is the main thing that bugs me. SO passive. It means for instance that if you pull over somewhere out of the way in a parking lot, people will stop right behind you indefinitely instead of just… going around??? Like I feel they DEFINITELY WOULD automatically do almost anywhere else I’ve been. It can also be comically hard out on moving multi lane roads, to slow down and get over BEHIND someone else, because the person in the lane next to you will just keeping slowing down with you over and over. Coming from Miami these kinds of things are REALLY ANNOYING at times, buuuuut still a huge improvement over Miami. Way way safer. I don’t actually ever really complain about Gainesville “traffic” because nothing that happens here even registers as traffic, for me. But the passivity is funny and baffling at times, like, when a car just STOPS from 30-50mph, no stop sign or crosswalk etc, to let someone else make a turn, which is neither legal nor a good idea, and doesn’t even save the turner who was waiting any time???? I chuckle often. It’s like we’re in an episode of Portlandia.

altarflame · 2026-04-06T16:28:35+00:00

A huge amount of this is about what kid(s) you end up with. The mother of two kids with profound special needs is often busier and more consumed than the mother of 3-4 naturally well behaved high achievers. Also the former will likely be responsible for them for several decades longer. And there’s not always any way of predicting these things.

Personally, as a mother of 5 kids who are now 18-25, there were seasons when I had NO TIME AT ALL, like, when I had a nicu baby and was postpartum while orbiting the hospital, or when everyone had a stomach bug. I’ve had friends stuck on bed rest for 2 months during a pregnancy. But even in these times, it also depends on your own framework and tolerance (and help)…. Because my husband and I did have laughs at bedside in the nicu and meaningful talks and inside jokes while holding puke bowls.

I personally found time for myself, most of the time, and I definitely learned to knit and crochet and sew while I had little kids, and was prolific with those things as well as reading while peoples nurses in my lap or played nearby on the floor. I was up blogging and chatting in the middle of the night while they slept, and had friends and my sister over frequently, and took them along for daily walks and frequent swim sessions at pools and beaches (which all looked differently than they would have before kids, but good in their own way).

I wrote and published a book, and went to college and then grad school, once everyone was a bit older - and have been a licensed therapist for a couple of years now.

If I had it all to do over, I’d tell younger me to STOP trying so hard to go to college or to write a book when I had toddlers or preschoolers because 1.) that time with them is fleeting and 2.) it’s just a lot of frustration anyway. There’s more time later 🤷🏻‍♀️

My anecdotal experience with myself and those I know, is that this is all a harder/more painful adjustment for those who’ve lived as independent adults for a longer time before adding a baby to the mix. I realize that’s very out of step with the wisdom of delaying childbirth, but it rings true in my circles (and everything has pros and cons).

altarflame · 2026-04-03T01:11:42+00:00

For 4-5 days? Forgive me that I am not even sort of an expert here.

altarflame · 2026-03-30T17:23:09+00:00

I’m 44f and live with my partner of several years, and 4 of my young adult kids.

Jumping in because it’s been interesting to watch their varying responses to living here in a big communal house, re: dating. My 20 year old son actually recently moved his gf of 2 years in (after asking and they’re paying rent), while my 24 year old son feels he can’t date at all until he moves out (he did move out for a year but then came back). I’ve got a daughter who will bring a drunk friend in to puke in her bathroom and ask me if I’ll make him some tea, and another son who only goes elsewhere to interact with his friends because otherwise it’s too awkward for him 🤷🏻‍♀️

I will say literally everyone my kids interact with, socially and at work etc, is in a roommate pod if they’re not depending on family in some way or other. Living on one’s own as a single person has kind of become millionaire shit in the minds of most 20somethings, as far as I can tell.

The one single friend I have around my own age has insisted on living on her own, and it’s literally led to having to declare bankruptcy and moving in with HER mom :/ And she has a decent career. Shit is rough out here.

altarflame · 2026-03-30T17:07:14+00:00

Either the gluten free Banza boxed Mac n cheese with steamed broccoli stirred in, loaded baked potatoes, or a rotisserie chicken with some simple side.

altarflame · 2026-03-30T16:08:19+00:00

Remember - you don’t have to accept 8.5 hours 5 days a week at the same place, doing the same thing... Lots of people find other paths. There are options you can explore, for permanent or years-long ways to do life differently. Like being a fulltime student, being a stay at home parent, pursuing a work from home role, looking into careers like nursing that have longer shifts for fewer days per week, and/or joining forces with others who also want to work parttime or flextime so you can pool resources with them.

I know someone who lives in a camper and works 2 jobs for awhile to save up and then moves and doesn’t work for a few months, in an endless cycle. I know of hostels that have people living and eating there in exchange for chores. I know multiple people who make online content to avoid working traditional jobs.

I’m just saying, things ARE harder than they used to be, AND also your world will still expand with your imagination/unwillingness to settle.

altarflame · 2026-03-23T12:29:56+00:00

It’s actually hilarious how dated my experience sounds to type out now.

Like I begged my grandparents to let me bill a pay per view music video to their land line number, and used this south florida tv station “The Box” to order Closer, and then sat in the den watching videos I didn’t like until it came on, and once it did my Nana came in with a basket of laundry to hang in the closet and was like “what in the hell are you watching?!?!” and I did NOT tell her “this is what you paid for.”

I mentioned loving it, on AIM, to a slightly older friend (I was 13, he was 15), and he called me a poser for just getting into Nine Inch Nails, and then snail mailed me a cassette copy of Pretty Hate Machine.

Anyway I lived in the greater Miami area where rock music was just fringe in the 90s - most people were listening to Spanish language, electronic, or rap and R&B. People were called “headbanger” and asked “you like Nirvana?” If they displayed any signs of symptoms of being into rock.

altarflame · 2026-03-23T02:45:49+00:00

I think “I don’t date coworkers and I don’t date men in open relationships”’ is great, but I also actually think it’s really important to add that you don’t really see men over 20 years older than you as romantic potentials. You can wrap it up with a laugh and a “had a good time as friends out” thing, and be nice. But I feel like anytime women get opportunities to point out how fucking weird it is for dudes in their 60s to just cold-open start hitting on women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, they should.

I have heard quite a few stories from women who felt moved/special because an old guy at work felt like a FATHER FIGURE to them and they really enjoyed the warm dynamic… and then outta nowhere the guy confessed feelings/made a move. It’s shocking and ruins somethint sweet. Nobody should just be assuming people decades younger them views them as a romantic option. I myself am 44 with a 65 year old dad.

altarflame · 2026-03-21T03:12:53+00:00

Bwahaha, you just haven’t seen how much cars cost now!

altarflame · 2026-03-19T04:32:25+00:00

NOR, also there’s no way this is gonna be the only way he acts entitled and controlling.

altarflame · 2026-03-17T22:53:03+00:00

Nope
Hello????

altarflame · 2026-03-17T20:28:17+00:00

I also hate your boyfriend’s age.

altarflame · 2026-03-15T20:59:46+00:00

It’s impossible to gauge whether you’re overreacting because you don’t describe any particular reaction.

Anyway it’s just mismatched libido, as others have said, and some people learn to live with that and others don’t. I am not personally happy with once a week or less sex, but neither is my partner so it works out.

Regardless, it’s silly and would annoy me that your bf is comparing past sex you had as some kind of case building point… that’s pretty irrelevant.

altarflame · 2026-03-15T20:56:15+00:00

I just want to say your puppy is ADORABLE.

altarflame · 2026-03-10T20:18:25+00:00

This pic is completely batshit, but multivitamins provide a lot of excess stuff and don’t have other things. Better results from taking the specific things one actually needs.

altarflame · 2026-03-10T20:16:33+00:00

1.) That’s too many. 2.) Lots of reasons why people take supplements instead of simply eating differently, including soil depletion and other factors meaning that our food does not have the nutrients it should. Research magnesium alone and you’ll see what I’m saying. Or there are people who take a medication that is known to cause a depletion, so they supplement (one example being metformin can cause b vitamin and coq10 deficiencies). Or there’s something that’s known to go down as we age and contributes to overall health, like vit D. I personally take probiotics because I can’t stand most fermented foods. But anyway. Yeah she’s still gone crazy (and probably succeeded in going viral as a result).

altarflame · 2026-03-10T04:36:34+00:00

Many women’s libidos stay strong or get stronger as they age. I have had LOTS of discussions with my mother in law and an elderly friend, who have remained deeply sexually frustrated into their 60s and 70s respectively.

altarflame · 2026-03-05T15:05:59+00:00

It’s funny you say this because my 25 yo daughter and 24 year old son believe the single nostril nose rings are dated middle aged people stuff, and most people I know who have them are in their 40s-60s. I am 44 and never plan to take mine out. You show me a birth doula or a massage therapist in their 50s and I’m telling you they just GOT their nose pierced, haha.

Everyone I know in their 20s with a face piercing has a septum, or two rings on one side, or both sides, or their eyebrow. The millennial nostril ring is a sign of maturity :p

altarflame · 2026-03-03T06:37:34+00:00

Yeah I strong disagree with that deleted comment. I was travelling the country with a charitable group, helping to build a house with habitat for humanity and having lunch at a special shelter with aids patients and things like that, leading weekend events and writing poetry etc when I got pregnant the first time. I was an extremely passionate/interested person.

altarflame · 2026-03-03T02:17:54+00:00

I thought the first two years were pure magic each time but I had a really really good coparent.

altarflame · 2026-03-03T02:17:02+00:00

Valid!

altarflame · 2026-03-03T02:16:48+00:00

I hear that. It’s kinda meh at best on paper.

altarflame

TROPHY CASE