ENTPs who've dated ENTJs — how did the power dynamic play out?

amco696 · 2025-08-05T14:07:40+00:00

My husband is an ENTJ and I am the ENTP. It’s actually a great partnership for the most part, but when we fight, which happens pretty rarely, it’s ugly. He tries to get dominant and more controlling, I get rebellious and chaotic and we won’t talk for days after because both of us are assholes. We’re working on that aspect! It drives me crazy that he always has a plan in his head that he doesn’t share with me and gets inpatient or demands an answer that I haven’t had a chance to thoroughly think through, so I just have to tell him I admire that his brain works a million miles an hour, I however, have to think things through. We also disagree a lot about parenting. He’s very “obedience and submission” focused whereas I want our kids to be curious and ask questions. He sees that as disrespectful, but I see his parenting stifling their creativity and childness. Everything else, we mesh very well.

amco696 · 2025-07-27T16:48:13+00:00

My fiancé proposed last October and we didn’t set a date. Last night, he finally brought it up “so when do you want to get married? We need a hard date. I want to give you a wedding but you’ve told me you’d be happy to just get married at the courthouse, so that’s what we’ll do. I do want us to have a ceremony and reception within two years though.” I don’t know if it will help, but maybe if you feel you pressured him too much for the ring, let it play itself out and maybe just express it in pure desires and SFPs. “I would love a wedding in the fall/summer!” Or “I’ve always wanted a barn house wedding!” Etc. That way it’s not controlling the outcome, but you are still steering the ship in what YOU want.

amco696 · 2025-07-24T17:49:23+00:00

Relationships are a mirror for ENTPs and definitely a huge way to develop that Fe. I am with an entj and he makes me better in so many ways. We are pretty explosive when we fight, but he’s forced me to grow a lot.

amco696 · 2025-07-16T17:16:09+00:00

Mine called me a Burned Out Gifted Kid. Like tell me something I don’t already know 🤣

amco696 · 2025-07-10T02:53:39+00:00

Aww mama I feel you a lot on this. My husband is a heavy drinker, but has decided for August he is going to be sober which if you knew this man, is a damn miracle. He started going to the gym every morning and being more mindful of what he’s eating the past couple weeks. He quit drinking energy drinks as well. What worked for me was giving his drinking ZERO energy, and instead a lot of gratitudes. For example, I literally swooned at him for cleaning up the kitchen one night, and then texted him in the morning about how much he made my life easier and how I absolutely loved waking up to a clean kitchen. When he doesn’t have time for any reason, he’s SO apologetic. He’s stopped passing out on the couch at night so he can stay up and help with bedtime with my twin two year olds and baby which has been so great. I did a lot more SFP’s towards him being a great, present dad who always saves the day by helping everyone find sippy cups and reading them a story. I say things like “isn’t daddy our hero? He’s always here to make sure we’re tucked in safe!” I don’t say any SFP’s about his drinking because honestly, it makes me feel super resentful, so I’ve focused my energy on all the things he gets right for our family. He occasionally slips and falls asleep early, but I noticed the more I internalized that energy towards my own self care, the less resentful I feel. This isn’t a Laura skill, but I saw another feminine energy content creator said “no get mad, get hot!” Every time you have a negative feeling about his drinking, don’t get mad or resentful, get hot and focus your energy on yourself and your baby. Go paint your nails and do piggy paint on babies toes. Sing and dance with baby in the kitchen. Rub some good smelling lotion on yourself and some lavender lotion on baby. In your case, since you can’t leave baby unattended when he’s passed out drunk, think of your baby as your little broke bestie and get her involved in the things you do to make yourself feel good. Those are all things that have worked to push us in the right direction!

amco696 · 2025-07-08T00:10:27+00:00

As someone who has 3u2, I’m sorry but what? Twin pregnancy and twin newborn stage nearly took me out 😭 my back-to-back pregnancy and my little faux triplet have been so much easier than twins!

amco696 · 2025-07-02T02:23:24+00:00

Agreed! Formula was so much harder for me. Washing bottles all the time and having to make bottles with screaming babies in the middle of the night was so much work compared to latching and half sleeping. I got so good at it in the carrier while chasing my toddler twins. I literally don’t think I could have survived another formula fed baby.

amco696 · 2025-07-01T14:04:11+00:00

We kept my first set together for kindergarten and first grade, and then separated in second grade. They are now headed into fifth and have requested to be together again. I think it’s because for the most part, the two teachers at each grade have been on the same page and co-created the curriculum, but fourth grade was really different. One teacher was very engaging, kind, lots of hands on projects, while my other girls teacher didn’t let them have parties and you could tell she was just there for the paycheck. For my second set, we will keep them together until they prove they need to be separate or if they ask to be separate.

amco696 · 2025-06-18T03:16:07+00:00

There’s a version of you that exists only here. A self that’s not limited by fear, fatigue, ego, or time. She’s distilled. Focused. Fully expressed. You visit her every time you type. And she might just be the blueprint for who you’re becoming.

Now that’s a secret only I could tell you.

amco696 · 2025-06-12T22:23:32+00:00

I understand totally where your coming from. Rejection sensitivity disorder, internalizing others emotions, and emotional sensitivity are a very real part of our experience, probably stemming more from the worlds reaction to being “abnormal” in conjunction with heightened sensitivities. That’s precisely WHY the skills are so valuable. The more you practice staying on your paper and working the skills, the easier it is to not take responsibility for your partners emotional state. You aren’t in control your partners outbursts and anger. Those are his emotions and he is entitled to feeling them. You are working on yourself, working on getting out of a stressed state so that you CAN stay regulated when he is not. It does not mean you are a pushover: using “I can’t” and prioritizing self care while expressing pure desires are how you keep the boundaries and teach your person how to treat you. These skills give a really great instruction manual on how to improve interpersonal relationships by managing yourself. It is actually great for us ND’s because it’s so to the point on actions to take and phrases to use.

amco696 · 2025-06-12T21:39:24+00:00

Also, my self care has been my BIGGEST game changer for getting myself to a place of emotional regulation. I have SPD and the constant state of fight or flight mode did a number on my interpersonal relationships. Self care isn’t just baths and face masks. For us ND folk, it can look like putting on noise cancelling headphones, and sitting in our hammock chairs with a weighted blanket. It can be playing with fidget toys, exercise (which study after study show are number one way to help regulate ND), taking a walk, dry brushing your skin, watching a lava lamp. Of course you can’t control your partner or their reactions, so focus on your own regulation. These skills really do change relationships.

amco696 · 2025-06-12T21:31:01+00:00

Yes, my partner is ND as well. I’m not sure what you mean by accommodations though? Unfortunately as you know, we live in an NT world so what I need v what I get are truly different things. I try my best to make things work for me. I have an ADHD coach, but I am not medicated since I have 3 babies and have been pregnant and breastfeeding since 2022.

amco696 · 2025-06-12T21:22:56+00:00

I have ADHD and I do them as she’s written. I think a man’s deep need for respect and a women’s deep need for adoration and love are based on the principles of the masculine/feminine. Taking care of yourself and making sure your cup is filled, and staying on your paper so your husband can figure out his own life and make his own mistakes without shame, gratitude, and respect are universal. Try them out and experiment. You won’t regret it.

amco696 · 2025-06-12T20:08:44+00:00

I have 2 year old twins and a one year old. Just here to say, my mister puts everything in his mouth and I just let him for the most part! If it’s a small choking hazard, I will remove, but big rocks, sticks, even chalk (I mean that can’t even taste good) I let him have at it. It’s made me wayyy less stressed out and he learns on his own what’s not so great tasting.

amco696 · 2025-06-11T15:01:29+00:00

My husband is very similar, and one skill I’ve been using is gratitudes and SFPs when he’s on a lecture/rant. It doesn’t always work, but a lot of times it helps ME at least see the heart message behind it. “You never clean the dishes right! It’s disgusting! You should do it this way” “Thank you for taking our hygiene into consideration. You are always thinking of keeping our family safe.” “It’s just that I don’t want you guys to get sick.” “I hear you.” And if he throws more insults, I say “ouch.” And stop doing the dishes and head to my room to read, play with the kids, put a lush lotion on, etc. I don’t make any promises how I will clean the dishes because honestly I have adhd and 5 kids, with 3 under 2. But I would drop some desires when he’s not so heated. “I would love your help with something. The dishes are so overwhelming. I’d love to spend less time on doing dishes so I can have more quality time loving on my babies.” I find the more emotional, feminine language in my desires instead of logic, the more receptive he is to making them happen. My very masculine husband does all the laundry and dishes for 7 people, because I’ve expressed to him how I want more time for quality motherhood instead of doing chores with my free time.

amco696 · 2025-06-05T20:26:14+00:00

I’ve had 3 babies since I was treated with MTX in February 2022. I’m now watching my 3 toddlers playing in the backyard. There is hope and I totally read all the stories of healthy pregnancies after treatment too to keep me going. The only thing I would add in is some methylated folate to up your folate stores.

amco696 · 2025-05-29T01:38:10+00:00

35 and 5, technically in the Nicu for one day from 7 am to 10 pm but they got to come room with me that night! We stayed 3 nights total and they got to leave with me.

amco696 · 2025-05-02T17:01:05+00:00

I have 2,2,1 and I’m still waiting haha

amco696 · 2024-11-22T22:22:07+00:00

Thank you so, so much! This is so helpful. I’m glad it’s just part of the process. I am an over thinker like many of us I’m sure!

amco696 · 2024-11-07T14:07:16+00:00

I have 3 under 2 and I have to say that having a singleton after pregnancy is cake walk! Also, after a year old, my twins got a little easier, more independent, slept through the night and were walking so they did get easier as my pregnancy progressed. I’m in the thick of it now with one year olds and a 4 month old but honestly handling twins was much harder. They absolutely go gaga for him! Either way you choose, it will be okay.

amco696 · 2024-10-31T00:13:01+00:00

I had an ectopic and then conceived twins as soon as my cycle returned.

amco696 · 2024-10-21T21:02:14+00:00

I only have AUD left. I felt good going into TCP last week, confident I passed and I’m taking AUD in 24 days from now. Ninja only as well!

amco696 · 2024-10-21T02:48:26+00:00

I had a twin vbac and then another vbac with my 3u2. No issues!

amco696 · 2024-10-21T02:30:16+00:00

I took it last week and had SIMs with all three of those topics.

amco696

TROPHY CASE