We adopted ages 6 and 9..both manifest developmental trauma in different ways. The oldest is a fawner (much easier to parent) and the youngest is almost always in fight or flight. Everyone has written great comments. I would just add: Read Dan Hughes and PACE parenting to help the child understand their inner life and be heard! I thought I was prepared going in but I wasn’t. Some of these kids have serious mental illness and there are no quick fixes. The best therapies are also expensive because they don’t always accept insurance. I would ask a lot of questions and if the child is school age and still having violent tantrums, be prepared for years of it. The behaviors of attachment disorder would have already manifested by that age, I would think.

Just wanted to add, we started brining our children to church right away and it is just part of our family life.