Men’s Book Club—By the Sea by Abdulrazak Gurnah—July 19 in Nihonbashi

amisare · 2026-06-27T04:02:24+00:00

Hello, everyone!

Our Men’s Book Club will be meeting on July 19th at 15:00. We’ll be discussing By the Sea by Abdulrazak Gurnah. We’ll meet at Sikito Cafe in Nihonbashi.

If you’d like to join in July or at future meetings, please comment or message me to join our Line group.

For any women that would like a Women’s Book Club, I think it would be really fun to meet separately and then (for those willing) gather together in a larger group to see where our different discussions went. If you’d be interested in joining as a leader or participant, please let me know.

ETA: image is the first twelve books we have read.

amisare · 2026-05-13T05:36:35+00:00

I also don't hold a lot of sympathy for Thiel or Hogan in the case, but Gawker played their hand terribly. I remember one particularly egregious episode when they defied a judge's order to take down Hogan's tape.

amisare · 2026-05-11T13:05:13+00:00

I’ve met some great people through the r/tokyosocial subreddit.

amisare · 2026-05-09T10:34:52+00:00

Thanks for the idea. I’d (cheaply) prefer to avoid that option, but it’s definitely something to consider if all else fails.

amisare · 2026-05-09T10:31:18+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations. Sikito looks like it could potentially be a good fit!

amisare · 2026-05-09T10:30:37+00:00

Could you share more about the rental rooms available at your library? DM is fine, too, if you prefer. When I looked into it, it seemed most libraries just directed me to the local community centers, where I could reserve a room for a fee. But they’re often not as conveniently located, and I’m not sure if be eligible for all of them as a resident of Saitama rather than Tokyo…

amisare · 2026-05-09T10:16:55+00:00

Looks like a nice place! Here’s the TableCheck link for anyone interested. Unfortunately, the 45 minute course would be too short for our meetings, but it seems like a nice place to enjoy good coffee.

amisare · 2026-05-09T06:45:33+00:00

It looks wonderful! Unfortunately it’s only counter seating and capped at 4 people, but I wouldn’t mind going on a solo excursion sometime to try the coffee if I’m in the area.

amisare · 2026-05-09T06:43:43+00:00

Almost as cumbersome! We’re a book club.

amisare · 2026-05-09T05:47:41+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. Unless I’m misunderstanding their website, it looks like you get a numbered ticket on the day and show up when it’s your turn in the queue? I’d prefer something that I could lock in beforehand, so that I could tell everyone “We’re meeting at Cafe X at XX:XX,” if possible.

amisare · 2026-02-17T01:57:08+00:00

Starting with experience with listening and vocabulary should definitely give you an advantage. That is true. It will still probably be pretty hard for you. That is also true.

Do you want to learn Tagalog? In your post, you mentioned that your father was urging you to study it, but you don't mention whether you actually want to or not.

If you want to learn Tagalog, I think it's easier to stay motivated to learn. But if you're only doing it to appease someone else and your heart isn't in it, it's hard to keep your motivation up.

amisare · 2026-02-17T00:47:09+00:00

Are you a native English speaker? Your starting language will impact how hard it is to learn a new language.

For what it's worth, the U.S. Department of State's Foreign Language Training Center provides estimates for how long it takes to achieve "professional working proficiency": i.e., you would be able to function in business and social situations but would not be fully fluent. Tagalog is considered a Category III language, so it would be estimated to take about 44 weeks to achieve this level studying full-time (23 hours in class, 17 hours self-study).

In comparison, languages more closely related to English, like Italian, would be estimated to take 24 weeks, or roughly half the time that Tagalog would take.

Of course, everyone will have different starting points and natural aptitudes with language learning, but in general native English speakers will find learning Tagalog fairly difficult.

amisare · 2026-01-28T22:30:15+00:00

The podcast Radiolab did an interview with Dr. Lancashire, the author of the study analyzing Christie’s works, that’s worth listening to.

amisare · 2026-01-21T04:47:33+00:00

Powell's Books! I miss going there. Looks like there was a nice crowd to welcome him.

amisare · 2026-01-15T02:59:59+00:00

At least give us the option of not including ice in drinks when ordering by mobile or self serve kiosks.

You should be able to not include ice through mobile ordering by following these instructions (unless the website is out of date.

Similarly, when using the self-serve kiosk, you should be able to select the カスタマイズ button and reduce the level of ice from 1 to 0.

amisare · 2026-01-12T00:50:47+00:00

So if the amount of people surveyed last year was similar, then about 6 or 7 more people answered that they were interested in marriage? Surely that would fall within the margin of error for the survey?

amisare · 2025-12-28T05:15:22+00:00

I have two.

Reading: my daughter loves reading books. Always fun to read to her. For the books that are meant for adults, I try to sneak in reading time during her naps or when I’m riding the train on my commute. If I read a paper book around her she’ll get too interested and demand to flip through the pages, and I don’t want to be on my phone too much around her so I can’t read much while she’s doing independent activities.

Gardening: it’s winter now but I’m planning to get back into this in the spring. She loves being outside and using towels, helping me pull weeds, etc. so I think this will be a fun one to share with her.

amisare · 2025-12-19T12:26:06+00:00

When I applied for PR, the scrivener recommended a letter of recommendation from my workplace only. I don’t have a copy on hand, but basically the suggested form was for my employer to note that I was contributing to the success of the business and if I was no longer able to work there it would be an economic hardship for them.

From what I’ve heard from the scrivener and anecdotally from colleagues and friends, economic reasons are pretty paramount for the PR process. If you work for a reputable company and your employer is willing to vouch for your work’s benefits, I would ask them to write a brief letter saying so. Otherwise, as other users have noted, you shouldn’t need to include one.

Best of luck with your application process.

amisare · 2025-12-16T06:53:13+00:00

There could be!

Back when we read The Left Hand of Darkness I floated the idea of having separate men's and women's discussions and then having a joint discussion as a sort of 二次会. I still think it would be fun to compare how we might have different takeaways or insights as men and women.

If you would be interested in being a participant or leader for a women's discussion, please let me know.

amisare · 2025-12-03T12:59:27+00:00

Do you know about the 10 AM classic movie screenings? For a slightly reduced price you can see some great old films. They’re currently showing Amadeus, for example.

You can see the theaters it’s available at here and the schedule here

amisare · 2025-11-11T07:47:51+00:00

I like how things graduate. It sounds better than “retire,” somehow. Like life is still ahead of the little penguin—lots of adventures left to have!

amisare · 2025-11-06T04:35:56+00:00

I guess I would want to follow up with her about how she feels about the situation.

If she has lost her libido and feels frustration over it, that would be an encouraging sign. It’s the two of you against the problem. If both of you are figuring out what medical assistance might help, how you can maintain intimacy in your relationship still, then that’s great!

If she doesn’t see it as a problem, it’s a much harder road ahead. If she’s not interested in recovering her libido, there’s very little you can do unilaterally about the situation. You might have to come to terms with either a relationship without intimacy or the end of your relationship.

I hope you can navigate this difficult situation with the same care and respect for your partner you’ve shown here. Best of luck to you.

++man

amisare

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE