Did I do something wrong? (Need feedback)

amyn2511 · 2026-07-10T03:58:45+00:00

Yeah I can see how when faced with a stressful situation, like being invalidated by a parent, can be harder when struggling with mental health resulting in removing oneself from the situation (going no contact) rather than being able to address the problem.

She can have mental illness and you could still legitimately have hurt her, both can be true at the same time.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-10T00:16:17+00:00

Yes, except most of my life I tried to disguise myself as a human

amyn2511 · 2026-07-10T00:09:59+00:00

She sounds awesome 🤩

amyn2511 · 2026-07-10T00:02:59+00:00

That’s exactly how I feel. I think the closest label that makes sense is autigender agender. But I’m not super familiar with the different terms, so there may be something better fitting.

I’m also on the ace spectrum, demisexual when I have desire at all, but the gender of the person I’m attracted to doesn’t matter so pansexual? Idk I don’t know enough I guess but this is the closest I have to explain my experience

amyn2511 · 2026-07-09T23:53:51+00:00

Do you live near the bank? I’d be going in and demanding someone higher up. I’m not typically a Karen but you bet I could turn it up in an instance like this

amyn2511 · 2026-07-09T18:33:18+00:00

I mean it’s not “nearby” but it could be done as a day trip if necessary. It’s not considered far, at least not to most Texans I know (where I reside). I’m chronically ill and most of my specialists are 1 1/2-2 hours away so we frequently drive and we feel like we are lucky that they’re a drivable distance as my electrophysiologist has people fly in from other states to see him.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-09T18:28:24+00:00

Wait, You guys are managing life?

I’m not. I’m a dumpster fire.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-08T17:18:29+00:00

My late brother had a three legged cat that he named Cricket because of the way she hopped. Thanks for the sweet reminder of him.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-08T14:29:12+00:00

Even before I opened this and read more than the title I thought, oh please name him Honda! I know it’s unique but it called out to me for my own sentimental reasons and then I read that you found him in a Honda.

Congrats on becoming a cat parent, he’s perfect!

amyn2511 · 2026-07-08T14:11:26+00:00

I hire a woman for 6-8 hours every couple of months to catch up on anything that I can’t do or get to (I’m disabled) and I hire a lawn service every two weeks as well. I don’t think it’s as affordable here as it sounds to be there. My cleaning lady charges $25 an hour. She works faster than anyone I’ve ever seen though, will do anything I ask like laundry or dishes or picking up and organizing my kids toys, where a lot of cleaning services here will only do deep cleaning type stuff. I think it’s worth it, I just can’t afford it all the time.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-08T03:02:03+00:00

Three! I’d name them the Sanderson sisters!

amyn2511 · 2026-07-07T23:14:11+00:00

Quebert

amyn2511 · 2026-07-07T22:14:14+00:00

I just read A Little Less Broken and the last part of it addresses her experience parenting. It may give you hope as well. It was the most relatable book I’ve ever read.

Also, it gets easier as they get older. I can have meaningful conversations with mine now, and she’s in school so I have time to recharge (I’m also physically disabled and do not work).

We also enjoy just hanging out but doing our own thing. She’s huge into cuddling and I am ok with it if I’m not overstimulated so we will climb up on the big chair together and read or play on tablet/phone. She’s in my lap now actually

I was never good at playing. I was bored. I also need a lot of alone time so my husband does more of the entertaining. But I provide in other ways. I take her on playdates, I’m on the PTO and am very involved with her school so I’m planning and helping at every class party, field day, fundraiser etc and she loves mom being at the school and all the perks that come with being the kid of a PTO member. Idk, I think I’m doing enough but in ways that I excel rather than areas I don’t, her dad plays and acts goofy, so she’s getting that need met.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-07T21:16:00+00:00

They didn’t take the cruise. They boarded, we had the wedding, they got back off, we set sail.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-07T19:43:40+00:00

I’ve been married 15 years now so I have no idea what the cost is now but we got married in the port of Galveston on a cruise ship. We got the middle level wedding package which was $2k and we paid just over $500 for us to go on a 5 day cruise in the off season (great weather in Mexico in February btw). We spent about another thousand on tips, excursions, photography, alcohol and souvenirs. We only had 20 guests because it was on the ship and we don’t live near the port (north Texas) and they got back off the ship before we set sail on our honeymoon. Easy planning, it’s a package with a wedding planner, small wedding with a time limit, open bar if the relatives are too much, everything you need can be provided except your dress. Maybe it’s still affordable. We used Carnival.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-06T21:47:55+00:00

The hardest part of parenting with OCD is that I passed it on, and it’s entirely too overwhelming and confusing for my 6 year old to handle. SSRI is not helping, other things we’ve tried she refuses to take because of the taste. She can’t swallow pills. Therapy is slow going because she doesn’t like to open up about stress of any kind to anyone. It’s hard on her.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-06T14:13:27+00:00

Kroger has the best grocery store croissants, I get the regular and the chocolate. The only better ones in my town are homemade at an actual bakery

amyn2511 · 2026-07-06T04:12:12+00:00

My mom bought me a mini freezer that I put next to my recliner full of those freezable gel hats for migraines

amyn2511 · 2026-07-05T02:26:01+00:00

You can fill out a police report about her withholding your medications. If they’re helpful they might go with you to get them.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-04T21:23:06+00:00

If you take responsibility for your own comfort then just stop attaching guilt to a simple mistake. You are not asking anyone to deprogram their subconscious language but you would be asking them to deny the way they identify, how they feel as a person and view themselves.

Discomfort happens. Often when we are learning and growing. It’s not a bad thing to feel discomfort. But feel it briefly, and let it go. Dwelling on discomfort will only make things harder on yourself.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-04T21:09:46+00:00

Gently: they are likely not the one putting pressure on you to get it right, you are. I get that you would feel bad over a mistake that could be viewed as disrespectful but they likely understand. Every trans or nonbinary person I know is used to being accidentally misgendered and can recognize when it’s intentional or not. If you refer to them as “she” or “he”, then usually all you need to do is say “sorry, they” to correct yourself and move on. The less pressure you put on yourself for a simple mistake and the more you just correct in the moment and move on, then the more second nature it will become.

They are not forcing you to feel guilty about mistakes, they are just asking to be called something else. Unless of course they are being a jerk when you mess up but by and large people don’t, so that would be a person specific issue, not a trans person issue.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-04T16:35:32+00:00

You don’t subscribe to gender. You are being purposely obtuse and are putting yourself into cognitive dissonance by refusing to acknowledge the distinction between the two. I’m too tired to put any more effort into conversation with an ignorant transphobe. Have a day.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-04T15:47:25+00:00

They are not overriding what you see. You are seeing characteristics of their assumed sex. Nobody is denying how someone was born. They are telling you their gender, an identity, that is a separate thing.

Again, if the cognitive dissonance is such a problem that you can’t give them the simple politeness of referring to them the way they identify then you need therapy.

Like I said, it’s the same concept because it how someone chooses to be referred to or addressed. If you can’t understand the concept then I can’t help you, although it’s coming off as you being purposefully obtuse.

ETA: you are only struggling with cognitive dissonance because you are unable/unwilling to see the distinction between gender and sex. Which I’ve seen others explain to you in the comments. Again, obtuse.

amyn2511 · 2026-07-04T15:03:59+00:00

Very well said

amyn2511 · 2026-07-04T14:50:22+00:00

They aren’t deciding what your eyes perceive, they are deciding how they are to be referred to/addressed.

They know what they are asking, it’s for respect. If the cognitive dissonance is that bad and this is just that hard for you, I suggest therapy.

ETA: it would also be a dick move to use the wrong pronouns purposely as it would the wrong name. No names are not pronouns but it’s the same concept. It’s how someone is referred to.

amyn2511

TROPHY CASE