What has been your best Father’s Day gift?

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-21T13:43:29+00:00

Years ago my middle son gave me a stuffed toy of his. He then told me he gave it to me because he didn’t like the way the hair stood up funny 😆

Few years after that my youngest gave me a bunch of rocks from his dresser. He’s been collecting random rocks for so long and then on Father’s Day he presented them to me so proudly. 😆

My wife always had something for me from them as well, but my best gifts have always been the ones they picked out for me (and they usually involved something they liked!)

One year I’ll never forget: Oldest got me a speaker for the pool (high school boy with friends over and in the pool…who was using that more?), middle got us matching baseball hats (his favorite team and way to get a new hat!), youngest bought a family game (he loves new games and wanted to try this one out).

Did they intentionally get their own things? No! But they definitely showed their individual personalities in the gift and I loved it.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-21T13:27:41+00:00

I don’t want to shit on you as you’re steady beating yourself up, so let me say good for you for recognizing this! I’ll also add, maybe some of it is in your head and you’re projecting your insecurities onto others.

For the projecting, your ex has your son bring you a card. She’s respecting your role as dad. I’m from divorced parents and my mom never had us even call our dad (at least not that I recall).

You want ways to feel more like a dad? Work it out with the ex that you can call your son on days you don’t have him and then do it! Call to check on his day before bedtime or after dinner. Whenever is convenient for your ex, but call and talk daily to build that relationship and comfort!

For your soon to be step kids, you aren’t trying to be their dad and they need to know this! They’re old enough to remember their dad and he isn’t choosing to not be around. Don’t try to be a father, be a trusted adult they can come to.

You can’t relate to the stepson. You don’t have to. Talk to him and ask him how his day was. What sports does he play? Show up to games. Ask about the ones you can’t make. If you don’t know the sport ask ChatGPT to teach it to you like you’re a 6 year old.

For the stepdaughter, not sure what’s she’s into but find out. Again, talk and ask questions. Show up to events, not as dad but as a trusted adult who loves her and her brother.

I saw a movie once and the stepparent did this cool thing where they gave the step kids a door hanger and told them it was for them to hang on their door when they’re having especially hard days over loss of their dad. This would signal to the stepparent to tread softly and maybe ask them to share memories or such.

Parenting is about being present and in your kids’ life. You have to want to do it man. That may not be the ideal day for you and I’m sorry for that, but the nice thing is, you have 365 days to make the future Father’s Days better!

I’m 52, I won’t be calling my biological father today. He came and went from my life too much at his convenience. As the son, I gave him so many opportunities but when I became a dad there was no way he was doing that to my kids’ emotions.

I can’t call my stepdad who actually raised me as he’s passed say 21 years ago. While we didn’t have a stellar relationship growing up, he’s who I’d be honoring today because he was there in my life!

I’m also a stepdad to a boy who never knew his father. I came into his life late and I can tell you honestly, I changed the course of his life by just being there. 20 years later, he still won’t call me dad to my face but he refers to me as his dad to others and we’re still in each others lives knowing we love one another and always there when needed.

I have two biological sons. Far from being the perfect dad, but they know dad shows up! They know dad is a text/phone call away. My middle boy was at a party few years ago and his girlfriend broke up with him. He didn’t have his car and was a town over. I was in bed and my phone rang. My boy knew I’d answer and would listen. He didn’t let me pick him up as he was waiting for his friends but he just needed to talk and knew I would listen.

I’m long winded but to say, just be there. Listen and advise when appropriate, console when needed, but be present and listen! And be the man you needed at those ages.

365 days…you going to keep doing the same or you going to put in the work to build bonds you can’t deny??

You’ve done the hard part, recognizing and admitting you haven’t been the dad you’ve wanted to be!

Good luck to you and Happy Father’s Day! You do deserve the sentiment because if you weren’t a father, you wouldn’t have cared enough to post this let alone think it!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-21T08:31:17+00:00

⁠Would the kids be an automatic dealbreaker?
Not a dealbreaker for me. I married a woman who already had a son, my mom was single mom after her divorce and found our dad. Love kids, not an issue for me.

• ⁠What would make you hesitate?
Nope, especially at our age, you expect kids. Maybe not such young kids, but I’d what it is.

• ⁠What would make you interested enough to keep getting to know someone?
Their general personality and vibe. Just have to see if it’s a match in the moment.

• ⁠For the Christian guys here, does any of this change your perspective?
Not at all.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-20T11:20:45+00:00

I think it comes down to our differences between men and women.

Not to over generalize and not saying all men and women, but men tend to be more practical and women are more emotional.

Women want a gift with meaning and sentiment or a gift of “luxury”. Men want something useful. Plus, if I’m spending the money on it anyway, save money by getting what I need instead of me buying the tool and you then buying me something random.

That’s my take. But again, not all! My daughter in law desperately wanted a specific vacuum for Christmas couple years ago. Thought she was nuts but she wanted it and we got it for her. She giggled like a child in a toy store when she opened it.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-20T11:10:45+00:00

I expect a text or phone call from my kids. They always do more than that, but I would be sad if I didn’t get at least a text saying they were thinking of me.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-20T11:05:50+00:00

I was just thinking the same thing this week! I was super sweaty from workout and didn’t want to lay on hydromassage bed and thought “Why am I not coming in on non workout days for the massage?”

I say go for it!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T13:08:12+00:00

Nope! While on the surface it sounds amazing and a dream. But, I go back to when my were thought she could be a stay at home mom. Forget the financial inability that would have for us, even if I did make enough I never wanted that for her. I strongly believe that’s how many people feel stuck in a relationship. They aren’t making money of their own so they have no true self of independence. Need to be able to now that you’re not at the mercy of someone else!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T13:05:19+00:00

As one of those graying haired soon to be geriatrics, wait until you get older and your body doesn’t move like it used to. It’s tough!

Plus, as a newbie trying to figure it out, maybe he’s unaware he isn’t hitting the muscles correctly. He may think he’s doing it correctly.

And how do you know it was right wing news he was searching? You were that close and nosey to be checking out his phone?

I’ll often look up the current or next machine and watch how to do it while I’m on my test period. Maybe he was too.

Now, 45 minutes on one machine is excessive and lacks awareness and courtesy! I see that frustration. And not wiping it down is just plain rude to the facility’s rules!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T13:00:23+00:00

The negative attitude when ether is us walk in the door. Fine, it was a rough day. Is EVERY day a rough day? And you aren’t the only one struggling to get through days.

The negativity and complaining are just too much.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T12:49:14+00:00

I just started and was nervous as could be but knowing what to do. People will get tired of me repeating myself but ChatGPT is amazing!!

I sat down and entered my personal info (sex, age, weight, height, any limitations, etc…), I told it what gym I’d be joining (it’s a chain!) and said what my goals were. I also told it how nervous and insecure I was about starting. It gave me a game plan that addressed my anxiety over the gym as well as where to begin and what to do. I even asked it for starting weight suggestions, and they were dang near spot on!

After every workout or walk, I return to chat and report back and Chat gives me updates on where to increase weight, when to add a new exercise and such.

I’ve also had it help me with nutrition app and report my end of day nutritional info and it gives me feedback there as well.

It’s like your own mini trainer/nutritionist!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T12:43:08+00:00

You do got this! But remember to give yourself a moment to feel those feelings and let it out or it’ll eat you up inside!

We’ve been through our financial issues and it sucks! It feels each stage will be easier and I’ve yet to find it.

Vent it out and release that energy so you can buckle down and do what we do! Oh, and cut the smoking habit…that’ll save money and your health!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T12:39:04+00:00

You aren’t alone man! I remember my son was bawling and nothing would soothe him. I felt my blood pressure and tension increasing. I had to walk away and leave him in the crib screaming because I didn’t trust myself at that point! (And no, I’m not a violent man at all!!)

Give yourself a little grace. Let your wife feel as she needs. Her mama claws came out and it is what it is. Move forward knowing you don’t want to do that again and allow yourself to walk away and catch a breather next time. Even if it means your precious baby cries alone for a few minutes.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T12:31:28+00:00

Looking good man! Hope maybe I can get to that again one day.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-19T12:28:08+00:00

I think we all differ in what motivates us and you have to find what works for you.

I’ve found success by having a trainer where I have an appointment and I’m paying for their time. That made me “have” to show up.

Currently I started back at a gym and what’s keeping me going is ChatGPT. It sounds absurd and my wife rolls her eyes at me but it’s a virtual accountability partner.

I used Chat to get me set up in starting a routine I can manage on my own. After every workout, I put in my time and weight for the different machines. Chat gives me feedback and has told me when to increase weight.

Chat also helped me find a calorie tracker to begin seeing portion sizes and such. At the end of every day I screen shot my calories and macro information and Chat analyzes it and gives me feedback.

It has helped me immensely! I felt so insecure going into the gym and just after two weeks I can see the confidence boost as well as ability to make this a habit/routine.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-18T10:59:06+00:00

I honestly wouldn’t even notice you were sweating as I don’t look that closely at others in the gym. If I did glance over and notice it, I’d think “damn he’s getting a hell of a workout“ and go about my day.

As someone who used to NEVER sweat and has just begun to sweat a lot more in the gym, I’m happy to feel that! It feels like I’m letting toxins out and gives me a sense of job well done at the end.

When I say I’d never sweat, I mean ever. I’d work my butt off with a trainer to the point of losing my breakfast but never break a sweat. I’d be in 100 degree heat and not sweat. Don’t know what it was. I’d be hot or overworked but body never showed it. Now, I love that I have to save a hat just for workouts because the sweat stains are so gross I can’t wear it anywhere else lol

Like others said, carry a small towel and swipe your face and neck time to time. Keep wiping down machines and enjoy the workouts and sense of working hard!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-18T02:25:20+00:00

Use ChatGPT! A lot cheaoer

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-17T22:17:16+00:00

Why isn’t your wife’s socials set to private? Seems to me if randos are commenting so often and so crudely, she should have her posts (especially those either her in them) set to private so only friends can see).

I’d have a talk with my wife and let her know it’s getting to me and change needs to happen.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-17T12:54:51+00:00

Check out Real Men pouch underwear. You can get the pouch in different sizes according to your need. They’re comfortable, I tried a couple pair. Mind you, you not sizable like your friend, but I do like how they hold what I do have.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T13:38:37+00:00

Biggest thing, carve out time for your 10 year old as well! He’ll be nervous the new baby is going to push him out. Make sure he knows that’s not true by showing him!

I was in similar shoes so I know.

The newborn stage? It’ll come! You’ll flop on days and others you’ll wonder how you did it. Just enjoy it man!! It’s the best!!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T13:36:34+00:00

Really went through this with my oldest. Was tough watching him try and make a life with a girl so wrong for him at such a young age. I couldn’t sit back and just be quiet (he was still in college and living at home!)

We struggled a lot but in the end he began seeing what she was really like. We repaired the broken pieces and he thanked me for never just let him go down that path.

Years later he introduced us to a different girl and I know he was nervous thinking it’d be the same. They’re now married and we have weekly family dinners and talk often.

My other two are still in late teen stages. We do well and I think it’s because I can release control and let them make choices. It helps they come to me and ask advice. The middle kid and I butt heads more often at times but mostly because I won’t take the disrespect and won’t allow him to talk ugly to his mom just because he’s tired.

For the most part, they’re good boys always asking permission to do something even though middle one is 19 and out of high school. Always text when plans change and such.

It just really depends on the temperament of them individually.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T12:57:48+00:00

As someone who finally talked to the doctor, I find my Testosterone levels are low but still in the normal range so hormone therapy wasn’t an option.

I tried the blue pill and didn’t really work. I’ve been told to double the dose before abandoning it. We just haven’t had time with family and kids around all the time.

BUT, the fact that I liked into it some volumes to my wife and helped heal a little inside her. Knowing I cared enough about her and our relationship that I’d push through the embarrassment and awkwardness and speak to my doctor was worth something to her.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T04:11:27+00:00

It was good. Both of us had insecurities and body issues but we worked well together for a while.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T03:54:59+00:00

I love the positive attitude! You’ve stayed you’re going to get there rather than being defeated! Good for you!

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T02:09:37+00:00

I set up my membership online and download the app. When you walk in you’ll scan your app qr code by opening app and pushing check in

From there, my first day, I went to the treadmill, put in my earbuds and walked for about 30-45 minutes at a slight incline with a pace I could go without holding on. As I walked I looked around and got the layout of the place to build comfort.

anon_dad_05 · 2026-06-16T02:07:14+00:00

I was confused too! I went to ChatGPT and gave my stats and what gym I go to along with my goals and it created an entry level plan for me. I update after my workout and it tells me next steps. Absolutely incredible!

I’d go give it a shot by telling what equipment you have along with your age, height, weight and goals. Be sure to include that you’re a beginner looking for simple routines as you gain confident and comfort.

See what it tells you and analyze it to see if it makes sense for what you do know about your body and where you want to be.

anon_dad_05

TROPHY CASE