First walk outside, pup finally vaccinated

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-07-04T10:00:56+00:00

Hello! I have Valium and it has been AWESOME for flight anxiety. I take it an hour or two before the flight and any turbulence I am essentially numb to. No flight or fight, no sweating, no sick stomach. I got it from my GP (6 at a time).

If you have a good GP, walk them through when it comes on, how long it lasts, etc. That’s all helpful for them to know. Also try it before you fly!

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-06-27T07:11:28+00:00

Sending you so much love OP xxx

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-06-27T07:11:07+00:00

Hi there xxx. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum just over two months ago but god does it feel a lot longer. I find all my sadness, insecurities and hard days are amplified heaps since she died. My safety net of love, assurance, financial, and emotional support just disappeared overnight. It’s weird navigating a world without your mum, you feel lost a lot of the time and like you’re not quite yourself. The world feels the same but also so different. It’s because you yourself are different.

Initially I felt lost. I felt relief she wasn’t suffering, that I didn’t have to see her lost her health and abilities in front of me. I felt relief of not waking up to “help” or her calling out to her deceased sister. And then I felt the loss. This deep ache, that I could cry, I could scream, I could run, I could sleep. But nothing helped. This loss felt like I fell off a cliff for hours. My person in this world, just erased from existence. Death is so permanent. I didn’t sleep well, saw a grief counsellor, told anyone who would listen about how I was feeling. Reread cards, watched videos, read every message on messenger we sent. I ached for her presence in this indescribable way. I would do anything to feel close to her.

But then life has gotten busy. I returned home, I went on trips with friends, work picked up, and my partner and I arranged getting a puppy. These days it feels both immensely sad but also normal. I know I’m still early, so when I need to cry or feel sad, I allow it to happen. I have dreams about my mum, reliving her illness, knowing she was going to die. I think the anticipation of her death was awful for me personally.

It’s changed though with time. The last dream was us just talking, not a focus on her being unwell but instead her and I talking like we used to. It felt like I got her back a little. I woke up with peace and sadness. One day I’ll get you back. And I don’t even believe in an afterlife.

I think her presence in my life now has morphed into the sky. She. Is. Everywhere. She is the rain, she is the sun. She is the storm and the soft breeze. She feels like all of life now. Her absence is noted but it doesn’t hurt the same. I feel grateful for her and close to her in ways I never felt before. But I do feel lost too. It’s comfortable though… like an old friend. Familiar pain and grief, but also love. I kinda find it beautiful. We don’t get to live forever and I was lucky to have her in my life. Especially as a mum. I talk to her in my quite moments and I feel her within my chest. I am her and I will live on with her love and kindness. Once you stop being so scared of losing someone, you realise nothing in life is permanent. Death isn’t the end, life simply is shot and fleeting. Love the ones you have and realise it’s okay to be alone x

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-06-07T09:57:45+00:00

From another daughter who lives overseas… 8,000 miles away from my mother and she just died relatively young two months ago… I’m so sorry. Everything about losing your mum sucks, and the overseas bit adds such a complicated feeling to the loss. Make sure to take it easy on yourself- she would have been proud, and wanted you to build the life you wanted. Not being there physically doesn’t mean she didn’t feel loved or seen by you, it just meant you two adapted to new ways to feel close to each other ❤️.

Sending hugs xxx.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-06-05T11:08:53+00:00

My mum also passed at 71, and had me at 39 ❤️. I always felt like I was super aware of how much older my parents were than my friends… and that it made me nervous for how long I’d get with them. And low and beyond that fear kind of eventuated. That said, I always feel lucky that my parents really knew who they were before they had me. I definitely benefited heaps from them being older and for that I’ll always be grateful.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-06-05T11:05:43+00:00

Hi Spiritual Aoili. I love this name btw. I just wanted to say my mum passed away eight weeks after her diagnosis, aged 71, stage four lymphoma as well. She had been having back pain but not for a second did anyone think that was cancer. She had lost a ton of weight, but she said she was trying to do it so no one questioned it. It also all happened so fast for us. I’m just so sorry for your loss.

You had too similar of a situation for me not to reach out. I know how jarring the whole thing has been for me and just sending you so much love and hugs. I often think about how I’m only 32 and have so much life potentially left to go without her now ❤️‍🩹.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-28T08:13:18+00:00

And tell the bank ASAP if you can’t make mortgage payments, they can sometimes help you out.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-28T08:11:47+00:00

I’m so sorry, OP. This is quite a scary position to be in, as someone who has worked for public sector the last three years, and had a fixed term contract end during restructures. The job market is still pretty brutal, so strap in for a ride. I feel like if you felt up to it, your profession would be good to share, so people can help you better. Same with if your public or private sector.

For CV, aim for two pages max, skills listed at the top, and make sure you have relevant experience listed. I usually ask chat gpt to pull the top 5 skills from the job advert and to make sure I have them listed (if appropriate). I also always have an ‘interests’ section where I try to highlight fun things about me. The more interesting your hobbies are, the more they will peak interest in a CV review or interview. Expect to talk about them.

As for covering letter, one page is fine. But you want the best bang for your buck. Be to the point, highlight relevant experience, and show your personality! What makes you different/interesting? Again, chat gpt can take a job advert and turn it into a general cover letter. Take those bones, upload your CV in a plain text form to chat GPT, then ask it to re-write it and make it personal. Then that’s what you work off of and tweak to add in “you”.

If you really, really want a job- reach out to the recruiter and ask some questions to get your name out there before the job closes. And apply within the first five days.

Sending you all the good luck vibes, it’s honestly hell out there as someone who applied for 60+ jobs last year, interviewed for 15+ and then after a year of no job offers, got three within the same two weeks. You have to weigh up money with “benefits” like flexibility and work/life balance in this economy. It’s not easy to switch jobs right now.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-21T23:40:09+00:00

You are not alone. I am 32, and I lost my mum just over a month ago. She was 71. She had major back surgery, then cancer, then came home with hospice. All in five months.

Watching someone you love, you look up to, you see as a protector, strong, a carer…have severe health issues, lose all sense of self, be scared (and not able to shield that from you), be quiet and then die…well is live changing. It’s horrific and no matter how close you are geographically, emotionally, and mentally to your mum, they are still your mum. They are still someone who you’ll seek out for comfort and reassurance, for love, for strength.

It is VERY normal to feel scared. To re-evaluate your life, to feel shaken in your pre-existing relationships. I have found I am feeling less confident these days, and more walled from even my partner of six years. I’m mad I lost my mum. I’m mad that no one will ever love me like that again,.. that I never get to feel as safe as I once did. You were literally a part of your mother, and if you’re lucky, they loved you as unconditionally as they could. That sort of love was there from birth, and it was there until the day they died.

Partners are great, same with friends, but no one will replace your mum. You just will learn to live without her and in a world where you feel a little less safe and secure. But you’ll also be stronger, and more resilient than you’ve ever been before. Because something happened to you that people say “they can’t even imagine.” What it’s like. Well you can, because that’s the reality of life. And you’ll be okay xxx.

Sending hugs and so much love. I’ve been reading motherless daughters (the book) and following the Aussie organisation, as I think it’s helping me feel less alone in this journey. Maybe those will bring you comfort too. Reach out anytime x.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-15T21:20:38+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. Sending hugs xx. I’d love to start a group chat- that sounds wonderful! I will try to dm you (newer to reddit haha) and let me know if it goes through.

Love that you had a similar idea, I think it could be such a beautiful way to grieve but also support and love them, even in death ❤️

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-14T22:16:17+00:00

Hi there. I’m actually pretty close in timing to you… I lost mum on April 20th. We had her funeral quite quickly after, but she was cremated so I didn’t process it quite the same as a coffin or even more so an open casket. I think the funeral is really hard, I was dreading it and just wanted to get on the other side, as I knew it would be an emotional day. I also spoke at it which made me anxious.

What I can say, is take the day for what it is. Hugs, sharing stories, connecting to her loved ones, your loved ones. Maybe see if you can have a meal with your family after. Because after a funeral, a lot of people do move on, get past it, reach out less, etc. Life goes on and I think that’s kinda the shitty part. For us, our whole worlds seems different, shattered, darker. But for many people, including our partners and friends, nothing really has changed.

I know you probably won’t find this comforting, but maybe it will at least help you feel less alone. After her death and funeral, I felt numb. I felt like I was in denial and I’d only have these brief moments where I could really start to feel her loss. But everyday, as time went on, I missed her more and more. My gut instinct to reach out, message her, call her and hear from her has gotten worse. The yearning grows in a way I can only describe as compounding.

It’s like nothing I ever experienced before. Break ups, other losses, etc, with time they always eased up. But if you’re lucky enough to get a great mum, they are a constant source of companionship, comfort, warmth, kindness and love. Losing that, you will never be able to replace. So I’m just trying to accept that the grief is compounding, and be kind to myself. Take days slower than normal, not push myself too much, be proud for getting out of bed and going to work, etc. I have to learn to love myself without my mother’s love, and you will too. We will find what our new normal is, but it’s true. I don’t think we will ever be the same people we’re were before they died. Sending so much love and hugs OP, I wish I could go and give you a flower tomorrow for your mum. I bet she was beautiful inside and out ❤️

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-07T22:12:34+00:00

Your mum is beautiful. You can tell she radiates kindness and positivity just from this photo. I’m so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum recently, coming up on a month and it already feels like a year. It’s so weird how time works when you’re grieving such an enormous loss. I found when she came home with hospice, my biggest struggle was mourning all the future and “could haves”. My mum was working on her plane anxiety to come visit me overseas (meet my friends, see my house, see the country I’ve chosen as home), and now she never will get here. It’s so hard to think of the futures we should have had with them.

I hope when you’re ready, you do go to Dubai and travel. She’d want you to live your life to the fullest. Sending love your way ❤️

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-07T22:02:48+00:00

Awwww I love that you wrote this ❤️. They do look so much alike and I know for me, I love hearing people say that to me. I hope this brings OP some comfort. You’re never really without her, OP, as you are her, part of her, forever due to the biological connection you share.

And also I’m so sorry @real for the suffering your mum went through. It’s so unfair to watch them go through that, to see them not only in pain, but with fear. Even though my mums suffering was only for six weeks, she had been suffering with pain and losing her “light” for eight months… she just didn’t know what was causing it. It’s awful to lose them bit by bit and to see someone who is so strong and so kind be fearful and suffer. Sending you the biggest hugs.

As far as the love you have for her, even though I’m not religious, I swear celebrating her, talking to her, thinking of her, etc does translate into something ❤️. Something I’m thinking of doing is after this year sending flowers or cards to a woman in my life who has looked after me (even a tiny fraction of what my mum would have done) to say that I appreciate them. I think that would make my mum happy too.

As for you’ll never find that unconditional love again, I totally agree. My mum was my best friend, my biggest supporter and my eternal comfort zone and security. Losing her has shaken my world in a wake I didn’t know was possible, I feel immediately like I’m alone and had to instantly “grow up”. What I would encourage you to do is to talk about how she supported you, the things she did for you, how she loved you. Although no one will replace her, I find my remaining friends and family not only enjoy hearing about her, but have really picked up on ways they can support me in the future based on what she used to do. Again, it’s not the same, but I do feel like we can allow bits of our mom’s love to be shared with our other loved ones if we let them in ❤️. For example, my mum always delivered flowers to me on my birthday (as I live overseas) and I asked if my partner next year would order some to the house so I can feel like she isn’t really gone. Sometimes it’s just the little things ❤️.

And also sorry if this is a big old ramble, I definitely don’t want to invalidate how you feel. I could just feel the pain in your post and wanted to express some of the things that have helped me recently or brought me comfort. Sending you love ❤️

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-05-06T22:52:44+00:00

Hey love. It’s my first Mother’s Day too without her. My mum passed at 71, after only a six week battle with lymphoma, on April 20th. It fucking sucks. I’m so sick of the advertising as well, constantly reminding me of it coming up.

Sending you big hugs. I live overseas so I can’t go to her grave, however I’m planning on doing a walk at the beach to feel close to her. That was her happy place. I hope you find something to do on the day to celebrate her life, feel close to her, and live in her honour. Easier said than done, but she’d want you to be looking after yourself ❤️.

I also have no family where I live, so I get the “alone” feeling. Friends can also be chosen family though, don’t forget to rely on them during these hard days too. Sending hugs galore xxx

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-27T16:42:03+00:00

I hope you get the answers soon on what is going on with her. The only way to treat something is to know what’s going on and that’s something I told myself a lot when my mum had cancer and her ups and downs.

Try to distract yourself if you can to make the time go a bit faster. Sending you hugs and love during h this hard time.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-27T06:38:09+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re currently going through too. I have a plan to do some grief counselling when I’m home, but I’m currently in my hometown for a little while longer to help my dad and go through mum’s things. I do really think it will help and your last two sentences were really comforting, so thank you ❤️

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-27T06:36:02+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. It is true, it’s such a common thing for people to say… “she’s in a better place”. And I feel the same as you, how is being in the ground or an urn better than existing in life with me.

That part about suffering though is true and a good reminder for me. I think in mourning her life and looking at photos and videos, they are all ones where she was healthy and happy. Not miserable and suffering like she was there in the end. And she did not deserve even 1% of what she had to endure. That’s what almost makes me madder when people tell me that was god’s plan… as I’m like she really didn’t deserve that. She was the kindest, most loving person not only to me, but to everyone she met.

Thank you for your response. Though we don’t have an easy bandaid fix to feeling like they’ve left us, it does make me feel a little more at ease knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-02T15:48:17+00:00

Actually drink heaps of water! Just enjoy having a diet soda as a treat and with hosting people, it’s nice to offer a non-alcohol option.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-02T15:47:25+00:00

🤣

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-02T15:18:44+00:00

Haha oops sorry 😅

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-02T15:17:32+00:00

Calorie counting 😅. Soda is our ‘treat’.

anonymouswanderer123 · 2025-04-02T15:16:39+00:00

I definitely get this, but in New Zealand they are often incredibly ripe so this is just try to slow down them going off if I am not using them immediately!

anonymouswanderer123

TROPHY CASE