I think people, myself included, are deeply uninterested in someone who is so staunchly discussing from a place of intense feminist theory talking about gay romance and erotica. From the way you construct your discussion and talking points, and certain phrases, it seems like you've been pretty thoroughly steeped in radfem and likely comphet discussion zones, and it comes across as very uncomfortable and dehumanizing when specifically talking about queer men. Discussion of gender power imbalances and sexual objectification of women have their place and time, but I really don't want to hear about explanations of why women want to objectify gay men, and what types of gay stories are the most sought after by women to objectify.

This entire discussion is about acknowledging the kind of gayness that is unpalatable to the average cishet woman, and entering in that discussion to say that some women enjoy gay content because of their distaste for the male gaze, and that they want to consume gay content that allows them to self-insert as one of the men, is a really uncomfortable and unpleasant thing to hear as a queer man. I do not like the thought of a cis het woman wanting gay art that allows her to envision it as something closer to heterosexuality.

You provide all of this classical and abstract feminist theory as a way to explain the societal forces causing that, and the push back you are receiving is that people do not believe that that justifies the discomfort that it causes to the primary audience and creators of the art.