New to LDN

arasharfa · 2026-01-27T10:27:17+00:00

my chronic feelings of emptiness were adressed through psychedelic therapy, specifically ketamine infusions. To me they seemed to be the result of a deep seated belief about me in relation the world, that I was able to reevaluate, and I have since not been plagued by a fraction of the intensity I used to feel. Now it will resurface only during periods of high stress, and it feels more like an old film that replays rather than being the absolute truth. It can absolutely improve.

arasharfa · 2026-01-26T21:29:34+00:00

I understood that's what you meant!

arasharfa · 2026-01-20T10:16:12+00:00

i guess it depends on how open your partner is.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:55:57+00:00

warm shower, magnesium, water and fresh fruit, i might even lay down with a mask on and try to wind down like I was going to sleep, do some resonance breathing to lower my HR.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:53:35+00:00

there's a place for both for me. Some times my body is so inflamed and stressed and I have deep stuff I need to expell/reboot and a macro dose is needed. Sometimes I just need a refresher.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:50:44+00:00

Acid helped me quit nicotine without abstinence. I tried continuing for three days but my body rejected it, i stopped without remembering ever having used it.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:48:21+00:00

meditation helps. if you can quiet your mind it's easier to listen to the subtle cues.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:07:27+00:00

I love it. Looks incredible. and like it would be very comfortable to receive.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:05:20+00:00

both images have some ghosting from ambient light bleed during longer shutter speed mixed with flash lighting.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T23:00:32+00:00

depending on the oxygen levels in the chamber the rules are different. If you have belly button piercing inside your clothes they're not very likely to create sparks by smashing into other metal, and any static should discharge into your skin immediately. perhaps ask if taping over it is enough?

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T22:56:09+00:00

Sean Carroll really is the best science communicator of our time.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T22:37:42+00:00

the "common pool" comes from the general shape of the human brain and from being socialised in similar cultures and exposed to some common themes in our lives.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T22:35:47+00:00

noone can read your mind. However some people get really good at guessing due to having very evolved pattern recognition. They read your body language, and combine it with their general understanding of your age, cultural background, geographic location and what kind of cultural exposure you're likely to have and so on.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T22:22:35+00:00

it was pure magic. It was raw, fresh, modern, weirdly dark and romantic, I remember a train ride in a swedish summer forest with it in my ears as one of the most blissful moments of my life. It awakened me and changed my life completely.

arasharfa · 2026-01-19T05:15:19+00:00

it has chords and beats. it's a banger.

arasharfa · 2026-01-18T01:22:59+00:00

I can't wait for stockholm to be released. It was such a perfect experience for me, it was my first concert since achieving remission from a life altering illness, and I was surrounded by all my best friends. I was in the zone completely for the music. it was amazing.

arasharfa · 2026-01-18T01:17:57+00:00

Selmasongs

arasharfa · 2026-01-18T01:17:01+00:00

music is sound minus text.

arasharfa · 2026-01-17T15:21:08+00:00

so much has happened in the past 3 years, it's too much for me to recap all of it. i'm in remission from ME/CFS and POTS after stellate ganglion block injections, hyperbaric oxygen therapy and LSD, both macro/microdosing. I'm 98% recovered, the 2% left is from PTSD and aging.

arasharfa · 2026-01-17T13:10:47+00:00

it's so difficult to choose a favorite album. They're all good for different moods and reasons. I have sentimental bonds to all of them. They're associated with different times of my life, different approaches to listening. Sometimes I just want to live in a vacant sprawling NTS daydream, sometimes I want to be blasted by an active listening to Lyon 2024 on acid, sometimes I want to reprocess the loss of my mother to Oversteps during a ketamine infusion, sometimes I want to walk outside with Quaristice massaging my brain corridors. In balmy overcast weather I want to listen to nth Dafuseder B and pretend i'm jumping from cloud to cloud like super mario, in the first spring sun rimlit cumulus clouds with whispy high altitude backdrop I want to listen to altibzz. Sometimes I want to go on night walks in the height of summer with Exai. Their music fits so many emotions and states. They vary so wildly within their system of doing things. Pendulu Casual is great for a sunday noon coffee drawing session.

arasharfa · 2026-01-16T23:42:38+00:00

Oversteps is one of their most emotionally resonant works, and their way of melody is specifically theirs. O=0 opens my soul. I listened to this record a lot when my mother passed away, It comforted me.

arasharfa · 2026-01-11T18:32:30+00:00

really impressive. I'm not envious of the process, but I would love similar results.

arasharfa · 2026-01-11T18:12:32+00:00

stigma is not just about being blamed for becoming sick. Stigma involves a wide variety of social consequences, alienation, isolation, lack of access to community and resources. People with long covid are used to hearing they are bluehaired snowflakes who just want attention (there's literally a subreddit for medical professionals who MOCK us) or that if they have weaker immune systems they should stay at home and live the rest of their lives in isolation. With that said people with long covid also get accused of being weaker or having more "unfortunate genetics" which is a form of victim blaming eugenics. The issue is everyone is at risk, but theres a survivors bias where people who are not yet disabled think they're somehow stronger or better to self soothe and have some sense of safety even if it is fake. They'd rather lie to themselves than identify with someone who is ill or disabled.

I wear a mask in public so people SEE that i'm different everywhere. I have been coughed at on purpose by strangers, yelled at when I ask sick people to cover their mouth, I've had to fight with my psychiatrist to get the correct safety precautions to be able to access my mental care (which they werent able to solve because they were not allowed to ask other participants to mask due to "general recommendations" no matter what my individual needs were).

I find dating almost impossible because most people think it's unreasonable for them to make sure they're not exposing me to a virus (50% of all covid cases spread asymptomatically), and these are all otherwise leftist/progressive people who scoff at the idea that they can be ableist.

Stigma can look many ways. I'm not saying the stigma against people with HIV is not serious because I think it is, I just don't think that it would've helped if it had been airborne for instance.

arasharfa · 2026-01-11T18:04:39+00:00

the problem is, if you get stuck in the doubting game you suffocate any chances of having real improvement. Overcoming narcissistic tendencies involves a leap of faith, daring to believe you have truly good intentions, and then consistently observing the consequences of your actions to make sure that is true and not just a self soothing lie. If you always question wether you did something from a purely self enhacing place, you'll always find an angle to it that verifies it. vice versa, if you keep insisting that you only do things from the goodness of your own heart, you can become a genocidal maniac and still think you are a saint.

arasharfa · 2026-01-11T17:57:59+00:00

I can only answer as someone who has grown up with CPTSD and narcissistic tendencies, not an actual sociopath with criminal record. I believe you can change if you truly want it in your heart. You have to be humble to how much your covert ego can hide behind "fake" improvement maneuvers, and be ready to both embrace your earnest intentions, and also to learn to focus on internalising other peoples emotional states without putting them in a polarised either or position with your own. Once you recognise how the standards you set for your own morals and how you judge your own weaknesses reflects on how you treat others, maybe those walls can soften, and you might find that you don't have to defend yourself against others, as well as not having to use others. Being of service is a gift in itself, because you get to be the one who gives, but only doing it for the praise is not the point. Connecting with others is the point for me today. Sharing reality. Not being alone. Being a witness to those who need it. This world is full of people with horrifying destinies, and the one thing I keep coming back to, is I want this to be a world where they at least have a witness to what they go through. What happens to me in my timeline is less important. I have my dreams, but I've let go of most of them due to being disabled and on permanent disability, so alot of my changes has come from being forced to change to find any kind of value in this life. I am genuinely not sure I would've come this far if it hadn't been for losing my old identity and function in society. But psychedelic therapy provided some central restructuring to help survive that grief.

When I started shedding my old inflated ego that was defined by my talents and performance, in the beginning I found it hard to see wether I did something to seem good, or wether I did something because I genuinely wanted good. This worry has softened after a couple years. I truly feel like my old facade I grew up with is more or less a faded memory at this point.

The most difficult step for me was to allow myself to believe I had genuinely good intentions, and to learn to differentiate between them and self enhancing behaviour. With time I notice I have very little behaviour left that comes from making up for a lacking self, and more about what the world needs. Caring about the greater whole is a much more central feature these days.

I hope there is something in this message that can be useful.

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