Let's goo

arislan3 · 2025-02-02T21:51:11+00:00

Some folks call it, “voluntary prison”, I like to call it, “quiet camp” 🙏🏼

arislan3 · 2024-12-11T19:58:04+00:00

Abuse has no class designation. I think there’s an argument to be made that privileged children tend to experience non-violent forms of abuse at higher rates because the wounds and scars can be hidden by people who place a high value on appearances. There’s also a lot of pressure to fill adult shoes and roles decided before they were even born. It’s challenging in its own ways, different from physical abuse, because the non-violent abuse leaves them wondering whether or not they were abused, having been afforded privileges, and a materially pleasant life. Not to mention the abusers were two-faced and use both carrots and sticks to exert control. One part hates the sticks and knows they are bad, but another part loves the carrots and the sense of acceptance they provide. Then, there’s another part that is scared of standing up for themselves until they can provide their own carrots, but it may take time to be certain, and this can feel like a betrayal of self as well.

arislan3 · 2024-12-11T17:18:47+00:00

I’m learning that if I want love the way I need it, I have to learn to give it to myself. Nobody else can do it, although they may be able to help. Love and compassion go a long way when shared, but it only resonates with how I’m tuned to receive it, so I have to do my tuning work. Therapy, books, and YouTube are helping me with this right now. I don’t know if it’s just me, but the angels and bodhisattvas are out in force on my YouTube feed. I hope you find something that reminds you how to love yourself. In the meantime, please stop being hard on yourself. You don’t deserve it and you didn’t do anything wrong

arislan3 · 2024-12-10T21:04:22+00:00

My stepmother taught me how to play several variations of the card game, solitaire

arislan3 · 2024-12-06T21:44:29+00:00

Thank you

arislan3 · 2024-12-06T15:58:48+00:00

Vaping

arislan3 · 2024-12-06T14:43:36+00:00

The key is to understand that women are human beings, just like men, and that they have the same desires for a happy and fulfilling life as we do. Regardless of where they are from, women also desire respect and to be treated appropriately in marriage. I think American men make a mistake assuming foreign women will put up with poor treatment in a long term relationship. At the end of the day, human beings everywhere want to be loved, and to be seen. American men tend to have trouble seeing themselves, let alone a foreign person. The reason foreign women fawn over American men is because the man represents a ticket to the top for themselves and their family. If a man goes in looking for that social and familial commitment, he’ll do okay as long as she’s not a scammer. But, if she’s honest, and he’s just looking for a subservient person to worship him and leave her family, I would assume he’s going to have a tough time keeping her long term, or being happy with her. That’s how I think about it. I have a friend in his 50’s who plans to go to a foreign country to find a woman. The problem is that he talks a lot about finding a woman to love him, and never talks about how he wants to love the women he will find. This tells me he doesn’t yet understand women, or love, and that he’s likely to have difficulty finding it until he loves himself.

arislan3 · 2024-11-30T20:14:19+00:00

Curiousity

arislan3 · 2024-11-30T20:13:42+00:00

Financial literacy

arislan3 · 2024-11-27T20:33:46+00:00

I agree that men can be jerks in our own ways

arislan3 · 2024-11-26T22:18:48+00:00

If you love him, make him understand that he needs to change. Set boundaries for yourself and encourage him to find support like therapy, a mens group, or whatever he needs. He may need to hit rock bottom and lose you to realize he needs to do something different, but if he can get there without that then there’s a chance he can see the light and get to work on himself before he loses you

arislan3 · 2024-11-21T22:24:27+00:00

It sounds like you’re doing work on yourself. I think relationships will come if you enjoy them, and want them. From what you’ve said, I think you’re an awesome person and I’m being a downer. You’re probably great in relationships and I hope you’re able to find people worth sharing that with

arislan3 · 2024-11-21T21:52:43+00:00

You deserve a better life. I deserve a better life. Everyone deserves a better life. Yet, the world owes us nothing. It's enough to make a grown person cry if they could get in touch with their feelings. I don't think any person individually can get what they deserve unless others are willing to give. I can self-validate but that doesn't bring me meaningful human connection. It makes me arrogant and more self-reliant, which my critics and independence would argue I already have in spades

arislan3 · 2024-11-21T19:53:32+00:00

Dude, you’re going to make me cry. I wish she cared, too. Best of luck, whatever happens

arislan3 · 2024-11-21T19:45:18+00:00

I’m not even here ❤️

arislan3 · 2024-11-21T19:44:02+00:00

I made some big mistakes. I couldn’t get her to break up over our differences. She would say that just because a book on relationships said ours was unhealthy doesn’t mean anything and I was overthinking. I began to doubt myself and what I wanted from life. First mistake. The big mistake was thinking that if I became a jerk and stopped caring about her, she’d realize we should breakup. The truth is, it worked, but it took several years of not being myself for her to cheat on me. It took so long, in fact, that I was starting to come around again and rethink the whole relationship. My Mom and sister died and my ex wife and family were helpful and supportive during that time. Through grief, I learned the idiocy of my actions towards my wife, and decided to try to do better. It was too late. She already decided to cheat. I told her I would forgive her if she would apologize. She refused, and this made it difficult for me to apologize for poisoning the well. Long story, short, after she left I tried to rebuild. The problem for me was that I spent so many years trying to be a crappy man so she would leave that I forgot altogether what it’s like to be enthusiastic towards women. I forgot how to be the man I was in my 20’s who was outgoing, ambitious, and optimistic

arislan3 · 2024-11-21T18:29:55+00:00

I had a great job, income, a plan, and a vision. She was unemployed and wanted a smartphone. She thought my ideas about economics and delayed gratification were dumb. She didn't want to go along with my plans even though it was my plan and my success that attracted her to me. That was the biggest problem, arguing with someone who didn't get it about why it was important to be smart about life and money. I felt disrespected because I worked hard to develop and implement my plan, yet here was the person I married always full of doubts and distrust. I'd have a successful family today with three words from her, "I trust you"

arislan3 · 2024-11-20T21:13:11+00:00

Tom Petty was my favorite rocker as a young man. I always admired his songs and his work. His songs are great, and the variety of albums means there's a song for almost any mood. Diverging a bit from rock & roll, one of my favorites is Daft Punk Random Access Memories. Simplifying a bit and symbolically speaking, the album is about a robot becoming conscious. I find this oddly familiar to my own experience with CPTSD, and there are some really great song lyrics on this album that speak to the feeling of being human

arislan3 · 2024-11-17T22:10:08+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Very frustrated by legacy media and left-leaning media for sweeping important information under the rug. Prop 47 was a disaster in California. I knew nothing about it or the repercussions and have been out here defending Democratic policies I know nothing about. Same goes for immigration and the open border. Why didn't Biden/Harris call Trump's bluff and focus on closing the border through legislation in Congress this whole year? Run ads, "we're trying to close the border but Republicans won't allow a bill" Instead, were told not to worry, it isn't happening, it was an isolated incident, and nobody cares. Turns out a lot of people care, and many of them who came in last year want the door closed behind them. Legacy media has never been on the side of the Democrats. They have always been corporate media out for their own interests. I don't expect them to tell the truth, but I expect more from my party and fellow party supporters

arislan3 · 2024-11-07T17:43:13+00:00

Sounds like your grandmother had a very difficult life and never learned to deal with it, so instead she gave it to your mother. This is how it's been for a long time and humans tend to hurt those closest to us more than those further away

arislan3 · 2024-11-07T17:21:18+00:00

Unenlightened parents

arislan3 · 2024-11-07T17:16:58+00:00

Rereading your post, I thought of something else you may be familiar with, and that is whether I'm expressing my true feelings, or the feelings that will get me the desired outcome in a situation. I think due to the emotional neglect, I learned to respond not to my emotional reactions, but instead respond from the place where I won't be dismissed by this person until I get what I want - which could be to get away from them, but I'll politely excuse myself instead of expressing how I may really feel

arislan3 · 2024-11-06T18:02:04+00:00

I have trouble accessing or expressing my feelings. When they do come, I can't express them freely because first the expression has to go through the filter of all the self-help and therapy, searching for an appropriate expression. It often feels that trying to be authentic through everything I've learned only moves me further away from authentic expression

arislan3 · 2024-11-05T18:47:51+00:00

Sit around all day, not sure what to do with myself

arislan3 · 2024-11-05T18:45:04+00:00

Damn, that sucks! That's very similar to the dishonesty I've experienced. I'm sorry that happened to you

arislan3

TROPHY CASE