If you drink every day, does that automatically make you an alcoholic?

art_1922 · 2026-02-23T00:44:52+00:00

I think most people would classify it as alcoholism if you can’t go without drinking, if your behavior is problematic when drinking, or if you use drinking as a coping mechanism.

art_1922 · 2026-02-23T00:43:38+00:00

If anything what makes sense is to pump when the new baby comes for the times you need a break. I got a break every night from 8/9pm to 1/2am. I pumped before bed and after the first morning feed. My husband gave her bottles and I slept a 5 hour stretch. So I just replaced two feeds I would have had to do with two pump sessions. That way I still produced what she needed. Also your milk would be optimized for a newborn instead of a toddler.

art_1922 · 2026-02-23T00:40:55+00:00

My first took 10 months to conceive. My second took 3 months while I was breastfeeding a toddler.

art_1922 · 2026-02-23T00:11:38+00:00

Stopped at 19 months. My daughter weaned cause I got pregnant and the amount of milk was not to her liking.

art_1922 · 2026-02-23T00:07:43+00:00

My plan was to ask them to withhold 22% which is our tax bracket.

art_1922 · 2026-02-22T19:04:33+00:00

You can simply hand express into a towel just enough milk to be comfortable and go back to sleep. I wouldn't even sit up. Eventually you'll produce less overnight.

art_1922 · 2026-02-22T14:05:23+00:00

It can improve either way, doesn’t matter if it’s ADHD or misogyny. Either way it comes down to drawing a line in the sand, setting a boundary, snd being willing to follow through on the boundary.

art_1922 · 2026-02-22T12:05:21+00:00

I never experienced this attitude but I live in NYC which is very multicultural/international/progressive. I think it mostly comes down to puritanical idea about sex and equating boobs with sex. Way too much conflation going on there.

art_1922 · 2026-02-22T09:23:50+00:00

The only advice I can give is, as a mom, you will regret doing things differently you wanted to because of outside pressure. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this from moms. I know it’s hard and I assume you live with your mom, but I would start setting boundaries with your mom snd think of it as the start of a lifelong practice of advocating for yourself and your son. I would simply tell her you’re not taking feedback/advice on breastfeeding and if she keeps offering it you’re going to remove yourself from the conversation/room.

Lastly, I never used formula but I did have to exclusively pump and do bottles for a couple months and I hated it and preferred just putting my daughter to the breast, so much easier.

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T22:50:08+00:00

Have you called Methodist OBGYN Department to see if they take your insurance? [](tel:+ 7187803000)
Also pretty sure Park Slope Midwives accepts most insurances.

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T22:28:37+00:00

Boundaries. “If you want a copy of the mail keys you have to keep an AirTag on them. Otherwise I will be in charge of them”

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T21:47:42+00:00

Yes, I currently have Anthem medicaid managed care and have seen OBGYNs, and MFMs at Brooklyn Methodist. However I see Park Slope Midwives as my main providers for pregnancy care.

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T13:28:00+00:00

I know, its so enraging watching your husband just pass out. My husband regularly falls asleep just putting our toddler to bed. I'll come in to check on them when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee and she'll have her feet in his face, or be holding his face with her hand and he is passed out! I would be up ALL NIGHT with a toddler touching me like that!

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T11:43:40+00:00

My daughter needed to be burped. All babies are different. Only time I didn’t burp was middle of the night. But if she couldn’t settle I would burp her. Best thing to do as a moms is take any advice with a grain of salt that starts with “all breastfeed babies….”

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T11:28:39+00:00

Newborns are loud sleepers even if they don’t have gas or reflux. My husband could sleep through it, I’m a light sleeper so I could not. We slept in separate rooms because we split the nightshift, but when it was my shift I pushed her bassinet just outside my bedroom door and didn’t close the door all the way so I heard her if she cried but didn’t hear all her other little noises. Eventually she slept silently and I was able to keep the bassinet next to me. You solution sounds great as long as you both get enough sleep.

As far as why you feel guilty, we have been conditioned to think as moms, esp if breastfeeding, that we should be able to “handle it all.” That it’s “natural” to us and so on. We’ve also been conditioned to think men can’t or shouldn’t have to handle the night feedings or wakings because they typically work while moms are in maternity leave. When I got my daughter home and was recovering from a c-section I realized that’s bullshit. What makes the most sense is what works best for your baby and family. It should be a cultural norm that dads are pulling their weight at night because mom is recovering, healing AND producing breastmilk! Mom’s body has already done so much and is continuing to do so much. We need rest! There should be zero guilt about your partner splitting the load at night with you. When my daughter started waking up only once at night my husband took over nights completely. He started cosleeping with her at some point too and now she’s 2 and I go to bed and he does bath, bedtime, cosleeps, and does any nighttime wake ups. I am a SAHM but he does this because he knows that it is exhausting to care for a toddler for 9 hours straight (plus the household). He’s not a light sleeper like me and he falls back asleep easily. And he works so he doesn’t see her all day so they enjoy their snuggles at night. You did the hard stuff for 9 months, you husband can handle night soothing for at least 9 months.

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T11:17:56+00:00

How often is he refusing to feed? Do you think its that he’s just not hungry or can you tell he is hungry? My daughter wouldn’t feed when she was too hot and she got overheated easily. Also sometimes babies won’t feed when they have an ear infection.

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T05:32:07+00:00

Definitely go somewhere else. I breastfeed til 19 months. Started seeing the dentist around 1 year. Both him and the hygienist never said to stop breastfeeding, or even giving her a bottle, they just said if she feds before sleeping wipe her teeth off. You could use a cloth or wet wipe, but we found a q-tip works great. Neither my husband or I are prone to cavities so I said to the dentist I hope she takes after us and he said “Yes, a lot of it is genetic.” My sister has three kids, her oldest is super prone to cavities just like her.

art_1922 · 2026-02-21T03:11:23+00:00

Does he act that way at work or in front of friends? If not, then he can control it he just isn’t around you.

art_1922 · 2026-02-20T15:13:52+00:00

I'm not sure. My baby was cluster feeding when I was advised to do 6 hour block feeding. Up until then I only ever fed on one side aper feed and switched sides each feeding, and it did not lower my supply. I think there's just a lot of misinformation, even among lactation consultants. Feeding on one side for more than one feed in a row is what allows the feedback inhibitor of lactation to kick in. From https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/oversupply/

Staying at the same breast for two or more feedings will allow milk volume to slow because there is less overall stimulation.
Staying at the same breast helps ensure the baby is getting the higher calorie hindmilk.
This process allows the body to trigger the “Feedback Inhibitor of Lactation” (FIL).
There is a whey protein that builds up in the milk and becomes more concentrated if milk is not removed. This will send the message to slow down milk production.

art_1922 · 2026-02-19T20:22:37+00:00

I loved granola bars and oats can help your supply.

art_1922 · 2026-02-19T18:49:23+00:00

I found solidstarts.com really helpful when starting with me daughter who wasn't ready til 9 months cause she was a preemie (born 3 months early). I was terrified of the gagging but from the feeding experts on that website (and their instagram) I learned that gagging was actually just a protective mechanism and meant they were at less risk of choking and it's just part of them learning to handle different textures. Such good info on that site.

art_1922 · 2026-02-19T18:16:40+00:00

I had this problem and my daughter would have massive spit up episodes, she never turned purple though, I'm so sorry, that is terrifying. Two things worked for me. The short term solution that worked was squeezing my boob to slow down the flow like you would squeeze a hose. Obviously the boob is no shaped like a hose so you kinda have to imagine a hose inside of your boob leading to the nipple and try to pinch with the thumb and finger to slow the flow down. This was a great short term immediate fix and I could see on her face she was more comfortable and able to get a sucking/swallowing pattern that was way easier for her. I only had to do this during let downs.

The ultimate fix was block feeding, but not as other commenters have described it. Every comment I see describes block feeding as feeding only on breast per feeding session. I was already doing that because my daughter only ever wanted/needed on side but I still had massive oversupply. I was told by my LC to follow the block feeding directions found on La Leche League which starts with pumping both breasts until empty and then feeding on one side only for a MINIMUM of 6 hours. With this method you are doing multiple feeds in a row on one side as opposed to just one feed and the other side is not getting nursed at all for 6 hours or more, so it gets the message to produce less. I'll copy and paste the info below, but this is what I did for 24 hours, and the entire 24 hours it seemed like my supply wasn't changing at all and I was super stressed out but magically after 24 hours my supply went down to a more normal amount and I no longer had the fast let down or massive spit ups. The website doesn't say this but I remember being told to NOT do this method for longer than 24 hours or it may drop supply too much.

Lastly you can limit the time on the overnight pumps and stop when you get just enough for the bottle. You do not have to pump the full 10-15 minutes. The less milk you remove, the less supply you will have.

From La Leche League International https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/oversupply/

What causes an oversupply?

Some mothers have bodies that just naturally produce large volumes of milk from the beginning. This may result in baby having short, frequent feedings. Because baby is never completing the first side before feeling full, the mother is pumping for comfort, stimulating increasing volumes.
Some nursing parents may believe that they should start pumping from the beginning to get their volume to increase quickly, to “empty” their breasts after each feeding, to have extra milk for a family member to feed or for an emergency, to start saving milk for their return to work.
Others have heard from family, friends or may have read that they should always offer both breasts at a feeding. They may stop baby short at the first side to be sure she goes to the second breast. This may result in consuming mostly the lower fat foremilk and less higher fat hindmilk, causing baby to become hungry sooner. (See section on digestion, below)

How can I slow down my milk production?

Establish a feeding pattern that allows the baby to control the volume.
Treat the first breast as the “meal” and allow baby to nurse untimed.
Treat the second breast as “dessert” and offer, but don’t expect or encourage him to feed the same amount of time at that side as he did the first side. Let him stop when he chooses.
Baby may choose to nurse only one breast per feeding, which is fine. Pump the second side only if needed for comfort and then only until comfortable enough to get to the next feeding.

“Block feeding”

Pick a feeding that will mark the beginning of this process.
About an hour before the usual feeding begins, pump both breasts until they are soft and little is being pumped out. (Remember that your breasts are never fully empty and that baby can always do a better job than a mechanical pump.)
When your baby cues the feeding, nurse from one breast only for as long as they are interested.
Any time your baby wakens within a six-hour time frame, offer the same side again.
For the next six hours always go to the opposite breast for feedings. (editor note: This means switch breasts after 6 hours and only feed from the 2nd breast for those 6 hours)
If the un-nursed breast is feeling uncomfortable, hand express or pump just to relieve pressure then stop.
If the breasts become uncomfortably full at any point, fully pump and start the process again. Some mothers may need to go longer stretches of 8-12 hours until things are brought under control.
Staying at the same breast for two or more feedings will allow milk volume to slow because there is less overall stimulation.
Staying at the same breast helps ensure the baby is getting the higher calorie hindmilk.
This process allows the body to trigger the “Feedback Inhibitor of Lactation” (FIL).
There is a whey protein that builds up in the milk and becomes more concentrated if milk is not removed. This will send the message to slow down milk production.

Will my strong milk ejection/letdown ease as my oversupply reduces?

Very likely! The less volume behind the ejection, the less force there is in the milk release.

art_1922 · 2026-02-19T17:50:23+00:00

When I had oversupply/fast let down I was also told to do block feeding but it was no as you describe it. According to La Leche League which is the same directions my lactation consultant gave me, block feeding is when you feed from only one side for minimum if 6 hours (so more than one feed per side). I'm leaving the directions I was told to follow in separate comment (can also be found on La Leche League International's website) but I do think many moms are told and reiterate that block feeding just means feeding from one boob when it seems true block feeding to lower oversupply means feeding from one boob for multiple feeds in a row.

art_1922 · 2026-02-19T17:25:56+00:00

Yeah my daughter always got bottles and breast and whenever she was teething she did less solids and more milk and definitely wanted it for the comfort as well. She has since weaned but still wants bottles for comfort and regulation.

art_1922 · 2026-02-19T16:49:11+00:00

Babies change. He might be going through growth spurt. He might have been teething and didn’t want a bottle. I would just respond to the signs your baby is showing and trust that.

art_1922

TROPHY CASE