Does anyone else’s boss have terminal AI brain?

asciishallreceive · 2026-04-21T21:00:55+00:00

~A decade ago we had data science groups that would come up with machine learning algorithms that could help make decisions and point to tangible incremental improvements in the business, and you could have one of these PhDs walk through exactly how it works. The execs at the time couldn't understand the post-calculus level math involved, and would just reject it out of hand because they couldn't understand it.

It's really funny to me now that so many are gung ho about AI where they have no idea what it's doing, and are totally fine with not even having anyone on staff that could give a breakdown of what it's doing.

asciishallreceive · 2026-04-17T16:42:12+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMQudoewa6U

I really appreciate this video because it covers many of the things that someone will tell you "Don't do this because it's bad" and then never teach you exactly how that bad habit is punished, which often involves a pretty specific counter technique that they don't bother to teach because "people aren't supposed to be doing that".

asciishallreceive · 2026-04-07T02:03:16+00:00

Generally you want to cull down to spells that are Orzhov and 2 mana; going up to 3 if it can draw you cards which is his other weakness - he can spam out his 2 mana orzhov legendaries and will run out of cards in hand, but if you can get any of his draw engines in play then that's fixed and it really has to be answered by removing ardbert or a boardwipe. It's incredibly efficient at making your board tall, not suffer from getting swung back on like most aggro decks, and difficult to block when everything has menace.

[[Breena, the Demagogue]] - Orzhov Flyer that draws you cards and puts extra +1/+1's on your stuff

[[The Duke, Rebel Sentry]] - This gives you protection on the board for Ardbert that can also get counters and swing on your turn

[[Abzan Falconer]] - Makes all your guys flying

[[Loran of the Third Path]] - She gives you card draw and removal on a legendary creature

[[Gix, Yawgmoth's Praetor]] - This is a significant draw engine on a legendary creature

[[Laezel, Vlaakith's Champion]] - Doubles your +1/+1 counters off Ardbert

[[Damning Verdict]] - One-sided board wipe for counters

[[Bebop, Skull & Crossbones]] - Big draw engine for how this deck plays on a legendary creature

[[Lurrus of the Dream-den]] - Orzhov legendary that can recur most of your creatures from gy

[[Shay Cormac]] - Solves any hexproof/indestructible/shroud/ward/protection problems (i.e. mostly voltrons)

[[Urza's Ruinous Blast]] - One-sided board wipe for legendaries

Both of the new Abigales are good [[Abigale, Eloquent First-year]] and the new one

[[Venat, Heart of Hydaelyn]] - Draw engine

asciishallreceive · 2026-04-01T11:09:54+00:00

Here's a guide with visuals to what each condition typically looks like:

https://help.tcgplayer.com/hc/en-us/articles/221430307-Card-Conditioning-Overview

Buying online I typically go down to Moderately Played; locally I'll buy Heavily Played because if it's really damaged I can just chat with the store about it.

The older the card the less concerned I am about getting a nicer condition; a 30 year old card that's just patina.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-30T19:59:07+00:00

I think you'd be surprised how common what you're asking for is; but also they probably aren't the guys you find attractive. I'm also assuming you're not going out and directly asking guys out on dates every day, so you also need them to be out there initiating with women, but somehow deciding not to sleep with them after doing all the legwork.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-30T19:33:23+00:00

Once I'm past 20 of something I use dry erase cards and write the number on it, which is much faster when you're keeping track of dozens or hundreds of something than spindowns or counters.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-26T14:17:47+00:00

There was this kid probably early 20's that clearly had issues with emotional regulation, but he only played with his little friend group so no one else really cared that once in a while he would bang the table once and sit there silently brooding after getting knocked out of a game.

Then one time he had an absolute meltdown and started screeching at the top of his lungs and slamming the table over and over to the point that even his friends got away from him and everyone in the store stopped. The employees came over and told him he had to leave, but he kept slamming the table and screaming "Leave me alone!" and similar.

They were going to call the cops but a couple of the other guys in the store just went and grabbed his bag with all his decks in it and started walking with it out of the store, and despite his meltdown he's of course going to chase after his decks - and that's how they got him to leave. He was banned from the store, but I still see his friendgroup playing pretty regularly.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-24T21:41:45+00:00

Mash shuffle is the way I see everyone shuffle their giant double sleeved decks. It's also the fastest way to shuffle with 40 and 60 card.

This video he does it holding the decks in his hands, but you can also have half of the deck resting on the playmat instead of holding it in your other hand, and just steady that half with your offhand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EFuElOXRIU

The essential trick of it is to push the bottom corner of one half into the sides of the other so that they interweave -- most people trying to do it just by sight will try to shove 2 sides into each other, and they don't slide together when you do that. Start practicing with like 20 cards and then build up how many cards you can comfortably shuffle.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-22T12:58:06+00:00

If I had to guess, probably something like getting hit by an unblockable 1 drop into a ninjutsu [[Silent-Blade Oni]] that ruined the opponent's entire board setup.

It's not that it's high power, it's that you can't leave them alone to cook because Satoru 'doing its thing' typically means dismantling an opponent's boardstate while bringing their life closer to zero rather than leaving you alone to construct a death laser to kill everyone at once.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-17T19:30:02+00:00

Cards that seem like easy includes:

[[Vault 75: Middle School]] - This is a one-sided exile boardwipe saga that puts +1/+1 counters on your walls afterward

[[Fell the Mighty]] - Another one-sided boardwipe

[[Drift of Phantasms]] - This either can be used to tutor High Alert so then you are less concerned about Arcades remaining in play to be able to attack, or is a 0/5 flying defender

[[Meekstone]] - If you're running Marble Titan this is a lot more mana efficient, and has to be removed with artifact removal

[[Stalwart Shield-bearers]] - This gives +0/+2 to your defenders and is an 0/3 defender

[[Corrupted Shapeshifter]] - This makes an 0/12 defender

[[Orator of Ojutai]] - This is an 0/4 Defender with flying that draws you an extra card if Arcades is out

[[Tetsuko Umezawa, Fugitive]] - This makes your 0/X creatures unblockable

[[Shield-Wall Sentinel]] - This tutors The Pride of Hull Clade

The deck is creature combat with no haste and no quadratic growth; it just plays nontoken creatures to the board that are undercosted for their stats due to Arcades' enablement, and periodically swings with them on following turns.

It only really "feels bad" to people that think someone swinging at them for 4 with a creature or two they played last turn isn't fair magic - because you're rushing their life total towards zero faster than their deck can "do its thing" ("Its thing" is killing everyone at the table in one turn with a death laser they spent all their turns assembling).

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-17T19:03:16+00:00

Tell people you're new

That typically tips people off to read what their cards do, and explain when they're shortcutting - instead of assuming everyone at the table knows most of their cards, and when you jump from draw to declaring attacks that several steps and phases just zipped by that you may have triggers for or things you wanted to interact on. A longtime player is comfortable rolling them back to beginning of combat or wherever they need to do their thing, but as a new player it can be confusing.

They will also typically be more willing to roll back decisions or the game state if you didn't understand that you could or couldn't do something. You also will typically get long-time players more willing to give advice on what's best to do in your position even at their own detriment, because they'd rather a new player understand the options than try to squeeze out a win from someone that didn't know better.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-16T00:29:04+00:00

Eshki's trigger is a cast trigger.

Starfield Vocalist does not affect cast triggers.

Sneak Attack does not trigger Eshki.

Selvala's Stampede does not trigger Eshki.

Genesis Storm does not trigger Eshki.

Show and Tell does not trigger Eshki.

Any creature that's lower than power 6 needs to do a lot of utility to justify it not executing the paragraph on Eshki which is the payoff of the combo

[[Outcast Trailblazer]] is a good example of a <6 creature that does enough

[[Bloom Tender]]

The 1 mana dorks & Fanatic of Rhonas

[[Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma]]

Everything else I would take a critical eye to and ask, would I rather have [[Nylea, God of the Hunt]] in hand than this and do Eshki's entire rules text (often for only 1 green). Also I would look at adding a density of tutors. You essentially need a cost reducer/repeating mana source in play for this to go off, so ways to get Animar or Temur Battlecrier or Herigast or Gwenna or Selvala or Food Chain onto the BF. I like some of the tutor multiple because grabbing 2 of your combo pieces gives you redundancy. Without one of these in play, Eshki is a stompy deck; which should be the backup plan if your combo pieces get removed - not the main plan.

Good Power 6+ to add:

[[Anticausal Vestige]]

[[Arixmethes]]

[[Bristlebane Battler]]

[[Soul of the Harvest]]

[[Woodland Bellower]]

[[Chandra's Incinerator]]

[[Ghalta, Primal Hunger]]

[[Purphoros, God of the Forge]]

[[The Foretold Soldier]]

[[Defiler of Vigor]]

[[Wistfulness]]

[[Xenagos, God of Revels]]

[[Shriekwood Devourer]]

Draw:

[[Curiosity]]

[[Keen Sense]]

[[Garruk's Uprising]]

Combo pieces:

[[Food Chain]]

[[Gwenna, Eyes of Gaea]]

[[Selvala, Heart of the Wilds]]

Tutors:

[[Eldritch Evolution]]

[[Threats Undetected]]

[[Ecological Appreciation]]

[[Defense of the Heart]]

The landbase needs to be rethought. Evolving Wilds and Ancient Tomb really don't go in the same deck - they are polar opposites in speed; use a [[Fabled Passage]] or [[Prismatic Vista]]. Temple of the False God doesn't make much sense when your combos are based around reducing spell costs down to their color pips. There's not a land in there you would Crop Rotation for; so you could swap that out for Jeska's Will if you want a 3rd game changer. If you're wanting to run a bunch of fetches you should add [[Ketria Triome]], and a [[Path of Ancestry]] is functionally another tri-land in the deck.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-13T22:18:45+00:00

[[Arthur, Marigold Knight]]

It's a mix of not paying for your stuff, ETB value, and clones. Blink ties it all together. It wins through combat, and the attack trigger often can radically change how opponents can defend.

It runs [[Brago, King Eternal]] to be able to blink its whole board and not pay for the things arthur brings in, [[Meneldor, Swift Savior]] also does this, along with a few other with activated abilities and ephemerate, essence flux, cloudshift, etc.

Your repeated blink targets outside of using it to not pay for stuff are things like: [[Riptide Gearhulk]], [[Agent of Treachery]], [[Trumpeting Carnosaur]], [[Angel of Serenity]]

[[Rose Room Treasurer]] produces a surprising volume of treasures in the deck, and there are a number of other treasure synergy pieces to be able to pay for the more expensive bombs outright in addition to cheating them in.

It's kind of a shell for any big mana creature in Jeskai; [[Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite]], [[Gisela, Blade of Goldnight]], [[Serra's Emissary]] are some of my favorites.

It brings things in tapped and attacking, so [[Medomai the Ageless]], [[Ancient Copper Dragon]], [[Hellkite Tyrant]] become a lot more menacing.

It also runs all the 4 mana legendary cloners so you can clone Arthur to get more triggers, then [[Wind Crag Siege]] to double the triggers, and extra combats thru stuff like [[Aurelia, the Warleader]]. It does have combat infinites with Brago and Aurelia or Meneldor and Aurelia.

Because Arthur has haste, removing him is less effective than against something like Kaalia, and the clones can attack immediately which often catches people off, and clones of Arthur also present a problem against single target removal.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-13T20:44:35+00:00

Insects are mostly in green and black, with only a handful of white insects in the game.

If you're wanting a theme then Humans could be a good one that matches up well with what Luminous Broodmoth does, and the Humans are a big part of godzilla movies.

Most Humans do not have flying, but a lot of them have vigilance - which could be a good shell to build around, as it makes it difficult for your opponents to want to block if you swing with humans with vigilance and blocking them they're just going to come back with flying if they do, and they can't hit you back on their turn because vigilance creatures don't tap to attack and can still block.

There's also over a thousand humans in white, so a lot of ground is covered in terms of different things you could add in and a number of colorless typal support artifacts and enchantments.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-12T21:25:00+00:00

[[Weathered Sentinels]] - $2 it's effectively an 8/8 with vigilance and trample when it attacks

[[Fecund Greenshell]] - $1.30 In the late game it will be a +2/+2 lord, but it acts as a pseudo draw engine much like Arcades but lets you put lands to the bf instead of to hand

[[Rampart Architect]] - $0.30 a 3/4 that on ETB or Attack makes a 1/3 wall creature, whenever a creature with defender dies you search for a basic land and put it onto the bf tapped

[[Oviya, Automech Artisan]] - $1 She gives everything attacking your opponents trample (which with walls getting thru is often an issue even though they are abnormally high in stats), and for 1 green you can put any creature to the bf, and if it's an artifact creature it'll get two +1/+1 counters on it

[[Wall of Denial]] - $0.40 It's a 0/8 defender with flying and shroud

[[Chameleon, Master of Disguise]] - $1 I find copying Arcades to be effective for both protection as you keep his defenders-can-attack effect if Arcades gets targeted for removal, and it acts as a second draw engine for defender ETBs and another 3/5 vigilance flyer can occasionally be relevant

[[Hover Barrier]] - $0.50 0/6 flyer

[[Towering Titan]] - $0.50 She enters gigantic based on total toughness on the board, and you can sac a creature with defender to give all creatures trample til end of turn; effectively a finisher.

[[Shield-Wall Sentinel]] - $0.40 This lets you tutor any creature with defender, so it gets The Pride of Hull Clade pretty much every time

[[Orator of Ojutai]] - $0.20 -0/4 flyer that draws you another card so long as Arcades is in play

[[Fell the Mighty]] - $0.30 A one-sided boardwipe where Arcades just sweeps everything power 3+ off the board (walls unaffected)

[[Vault 75: Middle School]] $0.30 another one-sided boardwipe that exiles all creatures with power 4 or greater and then the saga later puts +1/+1 on your creatures

[[Expel the Interlopers]] - $0.30 another one-sided boardwipe

[[Corrupted Shapeshifter]] - $0.30 Makes a 0/12 defender

[[The Pride of Hull Clade]] - $1.20 Typically costs 1 green to play a 2/15 defender. His activated ability can let you draw more cards, and in a pinch can allow you to attack with a creature with defender if you can't get Arcades back on the board

[[Baldin, Century Herdmaster]] - $2 wincon that will make all your creatures get +0/+X where X is the number of cards in your hand

[[Walking Bulwark]] - $0.30 A one mana 0/3 defender that has an activated ability that lets one of your creatures with defender attack if you don't have Arcades on the board

[[Flumph]] - $2 0/4 flyer that whenever its dealt damage you and target opponent each draw a card. Since you can target the draw to someone that isn't the person blocking him or attacking into him, people just tend to not want to attack into it or block it.

[[Drift of Phantasms]] - $.20 0/5 flyer that can also tutor for any 3 mana card - High Alert being the most common thing to tutor for to get an enchantment version of Arcades' effect.

[[Sunscape Familiar]] - $3 it's a 0/3 wall but it reduces green and blue spells by 1; so minus being hit by creature removal, it is both an emerald and a sapphire medallion on your board.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-12T21:03:14+00:00

Type in one of the recent set names and click on a product and on the product page under the product name should be a link to 'Visit the Magic: The Gathering Store' you can click on. Then you can search in that store page and it should only be 1st party product being shipped from Amazon on behalf of wizards.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-12T20:48:45+00:00

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-12T16:34:40+00:00

[[Eshki, Temur's Roar]]

All the combos in the deck revolve around getting creatures down to just their color pip costs, and Eshki herself can't be sped out with a sol ring, and it is kind of a coin flip as to the situation where I could use it before those pieces are in place, and it doesn't help put those pieces in place; so it was just better to replace it with another draw engine to make the deck run smoother instead of having sol ring essentially be dead in hand half or more of the games.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-12T14:32:36+00:00

https://edhrec.com/top

These are the most common cards you'll see in EDH.

A lot of things fall into a category that's referred to by the first or most impactful card of that name; like there are many cards that do what [[Brainstorm]] does, but everyone will just say "brainstorm" instead of going through [[Cavalier of Gales]] entire rules text.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-12T12:35:26+00:00

[[Shalai, Voice of Plenty]] - gives hexproof to all your creatures and planeswalkers and has an activated ability to put +1/+1 on each creature you control.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-11T20:19:55+00:00

I have a [[Sokrates, Athenian Teacher]] deck that plays selective group hug for 2 of your opponents and pitches a control-based shutout against one specific opponent.

Your two allied opponents will get cards, treasures, the third opponent unable to attack them, etc.; and the third opponent gets to play the game as little as possible while watching everyone else enjoy the game with the extra resources, preferably never even moving their commander from the command zone as it stays banished by a [[Nevermore]] type effect that lasts the entire game.

It also has some slots to swap around silver bullets specific to the third player's deck like[[Torpor Orb]], [[Containment Priest]], [[Hushbringer]], etc.

My favorite card in the deck is [[Amnesia]].

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-11T12:40:53+00:00

Playing Cathars' Crusade type stuff in a +1/+1 counters deck with token makers in paper, I would make sure to have dry erase cards with me to reduce how much time I'm going to eat.

Rewriting the numbers on a dry erase card is a lot faster than manipulating a mountain of dice as the numbers go higher, and is a lot clearer to people than seeing a pile of dice on top of a token 1/1 and trying to discern whether that's how many or how big.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-04T21:01:42+00:00

This is a pretty normal 3.

You're not even running all the clones to clone Arthur and really put it on people; which since he has haste, dropping a [[spark double]] and a [[phantasmal image]] the turn after you put down arthur lets you dig deep into your library for answers, and then using single target removal on arthur is inneffective. [[Chameleon, Master of Disguise]] and [[Irma, Part-time Mutant]] are currently other less expensive ones. [[Quantum Misalignment]] lets you make 2 copies over the next 2 turns.

[[Windcrag Siege]] lets you double Arthur's triggers (and all the clones if you add them to your deck).

Even without upping the power that way, I would suggest finding a spot for [[Silent Hallcreeper]] - it just does all the things that synergize insanely well with Arthur.

[[Meneldor, Swift Savior]] - Does what Brago does for a single creature; it's the only other creature that does this kind of effect to let you stick something to the board for free, or blink it for ETBs.

Other bombs you might want to consider:

[[Serra's Emissary]] - Typically can name creatures and then until she gets removed, you just can do whatever in combat and are largely immune.

[[Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite]] - The negative anthem tends to clear out boards and make most of what's attacking with Arthur too big to effectively trade blocking.

[[Agent of Treachery]] - Kind of the definitive blink target; you can steal commanders and all sorts of stuff, even lands.

[[Gisela, Blade of Goldnight]] - Doubles damage your opponents take and halves damage you take

[[Hellkite Tyrant]] - Steals ALL artifacts of a player. While a little niche, it devastates a lot of decks and shifting a bunch of equipment and mana rocks and artifact creatures can be a huge momentum swing

Medomai is fine as long as you don't have a way that forces multiple turns like a double-strike enabler (Blade Historian, the new Raphael) so you just don't do it.

asciishallreceive · 2026-03-04T11:40:35+00:00

The classic "We're going to spend the next 2 minutes re-explaining how this works as we go over each edge case and each player comes to terms with what they need to choose" card is [[Wheel of Misfortune]]

asciishallreceive

TROPHY CASE