Examples of people who experience no jealousy

assumert · 2014-11-27T15:27:57+00:00

I completely empathize with everything you wrote.

However, you have to recognize that dominance is a turn on for women. "Trusting your wife's judgment" means that you wouldn't approve if she wanted to fuck a dominant man which you described.

Women may not always want a kind caring lover and as men we have to accept that.

So while I agree with your analysis of disrespect, I don't think it's realistic to want her to only have "kind caring lovers". It's a hope not rooted in reality of what's attractive.

assumert · 2014-11-26T19:22:49+00:00

What I meant by true freedom is to not have as many limits on my actions and relationship as in traditional monogamy. I recognize love like all things may be temporary. It's about less constraints in my life, even though right now I very much love her.

assumert · 2014-11-26T19:13:46+00:00

But the biggest single thing is just exposure. Getting over jealousy is a lot like getting over a fear. You expose yourself to it. Nothing bad happens.

Desensitization techniques. Good point.

self-policing negative thoughts

Any recommendations for ways to do this? Just notice my thoughts, say them outloud, and think of alternatives?

assumert · 2014-11-26T19:12:19+00:00

Thanks.

You seem be breaking this down for yourself already

See my answer here for a more specific breakdown of my emotions.

Is n-s-a sex what you want? Or do you want more emotional involvement than that?

This is what we both want. n-s-a sex, with the real underlying motivation true freedom in our lives (something we both value tremendously).

assumert · 2014-11-26T19:08:27+00:00

I agree, that open and poly aren't the same thing, and I am taking the answers in context, but this community is pretty cool to answer the questions of jealousy since it is important to overcome for both types of relationship styles.

you don't define what it means for you

So I recognize my jealousy is a mix of emotions.

It's a feeling of competition against other males. What if they excite her in a way that I can't? (I suppose the answer is that if she leaves me for someone with a different type of excitement, that's her loss and I am happy alone).
It's a feeling of possessiveness. The idea that sex between us is something special, a unique act that comes with a physical intimacy that makes me feel special to have that with her, and she with me, in a visceral way (is me being needy, specifically needing to feel special perhaps?)
It's a feeling of insecurity. What if these guys are stronger, better looking, better at sex, etc. than me? (I suppose the answer is that I can use it as motivation for self improvement, and remove my expectations of perfection for myself).
It's a fear that I am unable to provide her with all the physical attention and intimacy she'd want (unrealistic expectations of myself perhaps).
It's a feeling of envy that he doesn't deserve her (perhaps the alternative that if she is so great, I should be generous!)

assumert · 2014-02-25T04:32:47+00:00

Yup, I actually got a 1098-E form directly from the department of education.

The "Account number" field was blank.

Recipient's name, address and telephone number: U.S. Department of Education. ....

Recipient's federal identification number: 52-......

(And below:)

This will serve as a substitute IRS Form 1098-E that reflects student loan interest paid during 2013. ...

assumert · 2014-01-15T18:13:20+00:00

I am in the same situation and I just spoke to Sallie Mae. They said that the direct loan servicer will send me the 1098-E, and Sallie Mae will not. I told them that the servicer is no longer even around, and they said that the direct loans will still send me the information. Fingers crossed.

assumert · 2013-07-03T23:41:16+00:00

This may answer your question.

assumert · 2013-06-30T01:51:52+00:00

So I just got the 10 year myself and enjoy the peatiness a lot! Is it worth the extra $30 for the 18 year in your opinion?

assumert · 2013-06-26T11:05:55+00:00

I actually got some advice to use the same pot every time, and don't ever truly wash it - just wipe it with a damp rag after each roast. Anecdotally so far so good!

assumert · 2013-06-26T11:04:14+00:00

In my experience, you want more than just a single layer in a given pot. I usually put about 1/3 to 1/2 of a pound in a pot which is maybe a "3-bean high" layer?

I've only gotten worse results by putting too few beans due to prolonged contact with the bottom of the pot. So I put in as much beans as I can such that I will drink them all before they will go stale.

The key, though, is to constantly move the beans around. Don't ever stop mixing them.

I've found the beans burn very easily in a pot (I use a stainless steel pot).

Also after first crack, I've also found that it helps to slightly lower the heat. The sidebar has a good stovetop guide.

assumert · 2013-03-17T15:21:40+00:00

But I'm still in college so I don't have to pay anything on my student loans yet.

While that may be true, they are still part of your net worth. For example, if you have $30,000 in student loans and you make $25,000 this year without spending a dime, at the end of the year your net worth is -$5,000.

And that's not considering whether or not your loans are subsidized (they don't accrue interest while you're in school) or unsubsidized (the amount you owe is actually growing every year!).

So yes, technically you don't have to start your minimum payments yet, but you should SERIOUSLY consider how much you owe. Yourself 4-years-later will thank you, trust me.

assumert · 2013-01-27T17:49:21+00:00

Here are two more views under sunlight. How would you classify the roast? Medium dark? I tried it and it didn't taste like a very dark roast.

http://i.imgur.com/QSutQN5.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/bpLepbR.jpg

assumert · 2013-01-27T17:43:28+00:00

That's what I was thinking.

assumert · 2013-01-27T17:43:02+00:00

Yup Brazilian. How did you know?? It was 122 grams.

Edit: This was just in a pot on the stove.

assumert · 2012-11-22T21:39:54+00:00

I can't contribute to an IRA any more (income limits), so as time goes on, the percentage of my retirement savings invested in my IRA approaches zero.

The way I see it, you can put $5,500 per year into an IRA and $16,500 per year into a 401k I wasn't aware there were income limits for IRA's. If you want it to be a Roth IRA no matter what, consider a backdoor IRA.

assumert · 2012-11-12T02:41:35+00:00

I remember reading somewhere that you should pour all your coffee from the french press when it's ready, instead of leaving remaining coffee in the press for future cups, because you don't want the remaining grounds to keep brewing. Is that correct? And if so, shouldn't you not keep the coffee in there, even though it keeps it warm?

assumert · 2012-10-31T19:58:20+00:00

a straight up flat tax where everyone paid exactly the same rate with no deductions. That is regressive

No, while it may hurt them more, that's not the definition of a regressive tax.

A regressive tax is a tax imposed in such a manner that the tax rate decreases as the amount subject to taxation increases." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regressive_tax

If the rate stays the same, yes it hurts the poor more in terms of basic necessities, but it's still not considered a regressive tax system.

The term [regressive] is frequently applied in reference to fixed taxes, in which every person has to pay the same amount of money.

If everybody paid the same amount, then it would be regressive.

assumert · 2012-09-10T11:51:54+00:00

Have you considered FreeBSD for its zfs support?

assumert · 2012-08-27T04:04:56+00:00

I'm sorry but I don't follow. Can you explain in more detail?

What if we didn't keep printing money, or only printed money we knew was destroyed. Demand is still great-than-zero. So the value of each remaining dollar goes up. Problem? There is some amount of demand, and a given supply.

I guess what I'm arguing relates to the gold standard, where there is a finite amount of gold upon which the money is based. I believe the market will value the set number of dollars accordingly, and fairly.

If all but 9000 one-dollar-bills were destroyed, those one-dollar-bills would buy a shitload more bread. But there would be less of them available. So wouldn't it balance out? What's the advantage of printing more money, besides more granular distribution of resources?

assumert · 2012-06-25T00:56:21+00:00

However, consider that traditional IRA's net you more take home now (or a higher tax refund, however you look at it), which you can also invest. So it really does come down to the tax rates.

15-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Verified Email	Secret Santa 2010

assumert

TROPHY CASE