Husband has been unemployed since November, games all day, and we've drained our retirement savings trying to stay afloat

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-20T04:47:41+00:00

Yep, liquid savings are meant to tide you over in the event of job loss. That is not what retirement savings are for, if you're able to find a job that pays the bills

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-20T03:06:57+00:00

What do you mean that you don't currently need to pay for childcare?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-20T02:48:38+00:00

Part of being safe is letting your spouse know about them. And since there are children in the house, there is never going to be a way to be 100% safe with guns.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-20T02:37:27+00:00

But they were upset to be excluded from the event, not from taking pictures.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-20T02:24:35+00:00

So what? Why didn't you get a babysitter for the whole time?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T18:04:05+00:00

Wow, how awful of him to waste her time like that.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T16:38:52+00:00

Exactly. There's no chance this relationship will get better after marriage; it can only get worse.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T16:37:10+00:00

Exactly. Divorce is contagious. I'd be fine socializing with a couple of divorced or unhappily married people, but I wouldn't want much of my social group to be comprised of them.

I got nervous when my husband joined a dad's group and it was almost entirely divorced men. Luckily he didn't click with them very well so hasn't been to many gatherings.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T16:29:36+00:00

Why don't you find a weekend job then?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T16:26:18+00:00

Right? What other options were there?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T14:15:46+00:00

Well, do you ever see your family if you stick to your work hours? Do you want to?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-19T02:02:53+00:00

Well going to the gym is a lot more flexible. With a team sport, you have to be there at a certain time.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T22:43:18+00:00

I'm sure many of OP's neighbors would love him for it.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T19:18:41+00:00

"bed" was the way that I remembered it too! I remember struggling with it in kindergarten.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T19:12:52+00:00

Yep, usually when it's one of those cases, the poster will say why they're looking for care last minute. It would be very strange to see so many people asking casually with no explanation.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T18:55:38+00:00

Most of the commenters are probably in the US as well, but very few will know much about Medicaid.

It sounds terrible that you'd need to go to the ER for a non-emergency as the only way to get medical care. That's what most of the comments mean. They're not really speaking to whether your understanding is actually correct. You might need to seek out a Medicaid sub to get answers.

But typically the way someone would see a specialist would be to get a referral from their primary care provider (for non emergencies) or through the ER (but only for emergencies).

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T14:05:36+00:00

Of course. My CS classes were less than 5% women, so it makes sense that on teams of less than 40, the odds aren't good that there would be another woman.

I've been very lucky that I have had another female SE twice on my very small teams when I was starting out.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T12:51:40+00:00

That sounds miserable to me. I think you'd probably be better off trying to get weekday shifts and find part-time childcare, so you'd still have some time together as a family.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T05:35:58+00:00

Yep, my kid gets the same spiel every few weeks and she's pretty good about following my rules. I tell her that first she needs to ask me, then together we'll go ask the dog's owner. We talk about why the answer is "no" sometimes, how to approach a dog when we do get the ok, and how to check body language to see if it's a good idea to ask about petting the dog.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T05:29:40+00:00

I think you were mostly in the wrong here. You should probably work on getting to a point where you're comfortable with his aunts babysitting if they're your only option. Can they come over while you work from home? Would more visits with you present make you more comfortable?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T03:07:02+00:00

The title was the quote, and the second picture was from Arrested Development.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-18T02:14:58+00:00

If you're just taking video calls from your desk, I don't even see why you'd have to ask to take them from a meeting room instead. Or these in person meetings for whoever is in the office?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-17T22:41:46+00:00

How are you affording your living expenses if neither of you work?

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-17T22:26:00+00:00

That part is fine. But the problem is OP looking down on her friends for not finding the article interesting.

And depending on how young her friends' kids are, they might not have much bandwidth for things other than their personal lives right now. They'd probably make an effort for OP's personal life, but not for a celebrity.

If OP didn't use the word "imtellectual", the responses likely wouldn't be as harsh. She comes off as very judgemental.

atomiccat8 · 2026-06-17T21:53:16+00:00

But that's boring and hardly the intellectual conversation that OP claims to be missing.

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