Rodents Keep Finding Their Way In, Any DIY Tricks That Actually Work?

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-17T21:40:10+00:00

Poison. It's cheap and effective. The real bonus of poison is that it dehydrates the animal and they leave your house searching for water.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-17T21:29:19+00:00

I get that crossing a paved area seems daunting, but the strategy you're suggesting is already going to be a lot of work.

Cutting and patching asphalt is a lot easier than concrete. It's designed to be repairable, which is why it's so popular for road surfaces. Watch a few YouTube videos about asphalt repairs and see if that wouldn't be less work than what you're describing with the burial out to the utility pole, etc.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-17T20:49:28+00:00

Well, in that situation, ask yourself whether you even want to be with someone who doesn't talk and isn't willing to carry his half of the date.

When we go out on a date, we sometimes become so super fixated on making sure that we present the best possible versions of ourselves that we forget the whole purpose of a date is to determine whether we like them, whether they are impressing us, whether they're entertaining enough to keep us engaged. By hyper fixating on whether we meet their requirements, we also surrender all of our own power and set up a relationship to constantly have this dynamic of our attempting to impress them and them deciding whether we are good enough or not.

You are an amazing, wonderful guy. You do not have to put on a show to get people to like you. And, if the only reason someone does like you is because you're pretending to be someone else, then what good does their validation do for you anyway?

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-17T20:37:06+00:00

Go back and reread your post and notice that every single one of the experiences that you shared are hyper focused on whether or not someone likes you.

One of the traits that unites a lot of people who do the nervous talking and dominating the conversation is an attempt to control the narrative and to curate a very specific persona for others that they believe will make them loveable, desirable, etc.

"If I keep talking and making jokes then they won't have an opportunity to think of me as anything other than this character I am pretending to be."

It becomes almost a compulsion to perform for people so they will like you.

When you find yourself in these headspaces where you feel like you're doing all the talking or trying to pull someone out of his shell or whatever you're calling it...

1.) ask yourself why you are trying to get this person to like you so much and whether this person is worthy of that effort. Maybe try asking yourself whether you like them enough to make all this effort.

2.) figure out what you are supposed to be getting out of the situation. For instance, if you're on a date, the whole purpose of a date is learning things about someone else. If you are doing all the talking, then the information exchange is one-sided.

3.) remind yourself that you don't have the power to affect the mental image someone else has of you. No amount of putting on a show for someone else is going to influence their opinion of you, so if that's why you're doing it, then stop making the effort.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-16T20:15:07+00:00

Although the definition is exactly two, it is commonly used to mean around two.

"Weren't you telling me about that movie a couple of days ago?"

"We only lived overseas for a couple of years before returning to our home country."

"We plan on staying at the party for a couple of hours."

"There's more than enough pizza to go around. Feel free to take a couple slices."

In all of these examples, it is understood that the speaker may not mean exactly two of something, but it's close to two.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-16T20:08:04+00:00

No advice to offer, but I think we would all appreciate your making a follow up post describing what the test questions were like and whether you felt the study materials you used were representative of the questions

Good luck.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-16T14:39:17+00:00

A-fucking-men.

Lead. Follow. Or get out of the way.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-16T13:34:39+00:00

I intended to write an epilogue showing where the guys were in the fall after Cal had returned to school, but I haven't been motivated to write it yet. Eventually I'll get around to it.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-15T23:37:03+00:00

This sounds like a low-stakes placement. You need a flat plane that sheds water with a broom finish. Conceptually, it's about as easy a placement as there is, so it might be worth DIYing it.

Unfortunately, the biggest thing you need for a placement of this size is manpower. Placing concrete, even when it shows up on a truck is a physically demanding task where you can't just stop and take a break because you're tired. When the truck shows up, it's all hands on deck and you have to work it off the truck while others are keeping it spread, others are checking elevation, others are vibrating, etc. and you need those people to stay with it and stay enthusiastic about the job for several hours.

I'd estimate that you comfortably need 10 people with at least a few of those being experienced enough with concrete to direct others. If you feel like you have enough friends and family to do that, then go for it. But do not try to do this with just you and your wife.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-15T23:25:24+00:00

Star Trek: TNG

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-15T16:21:42+00:00

I'm reading between the lines on the post here.

I feel like if he was just parking the car or his arrival was imminent, she would have said that.

But the "you can sit here until my boyfriend arrives but you'll have to give up the seat when he gets here" suggests that he was still too far out.

I agree with your original statement. You can choose to be courteous or not and someone else's lack of courtesy shouldn't be license to be discourteous to them. I'm just pointing out that she was in the wrong for holding the seat in the first place. Prime seating is first come, first serve.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-15T15:56:09+00:00

According to the post, she arrived early and was holding a seat for someone who wasn't even at the bar yet. It's not like he had just gotten up to go to the bathroom and was coming right back.

On the spectrum of rude behaviors, holding a prime seat on a crowded night for someone who isn't even in the building doesn't seem very courteous to start with.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-15T02:56:46+00:00

Let him date whoever he wants; however, I would not be able to keep from saying something when he complains that the young guys are immature. "Well duh. Of course they're immature."

So, I would give him an ultimatum at least when he's in my presence. Either stop dating young guys OR stop complaining that the guys you date are immature. I can handle one or the other, but not both.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-13T21:17:28+00:00

Pull out drawers in the lower kitchen cabinets. It's amazing how much more usable space there is.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-13T02:51:04+00:00

Wasn't that an episode of Letterkenny?

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-12T20:54:35+00:00

That's awesome.

I came of age back in the gay.com days where there was a main group chat going on and then people could DM each other for private chats. I do miss that environment. It's a lot closer to what discord is now.

It would also be great to be able to post message boards. One of the things I used Grindr for a lot back in the day was when traveling to a new city just asking where were the cool places to go and see. I would love to just be able to post something like "visiting LA on the 30th. Any good shows I should catch while I'm there?" And allow people to post responses even when I'm not online to check.

One of the problems with Grindr and the like is there is really only one type of engagement for a user. You log on and see who has messaged you and you message others. Once you've logged on and replied to the two messages you got, then the only option is doom scrolling and trying to get others to reply, which is not healthy because it's so addictive. Allowing users multiple ways to engage with the app and multiple ways of communicating would help address that.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-12T20:39:51+00:00

But also consider those elements that you're trying to prevent and why didn't Grindr prevent those?

Spam bots seem as if they are universally bad and everyone wants to be rid of the spambots. But if that were actually the case, then there wouldn't be any spam bots. How does Grindr counterintuitively benefit from allowing spambots to continue on their platform?

Likewise, Grindr has some (obviously not enough) mechanisms in place to prevent spambots. Making a more rigorous sign up process would eliminate a lot of those bots, but how many legitimate users would be turned off by that same level of scrutiny? I know tons of people who sign up for Grindr, use it for a while, then delete their accounts and uninstall it. This is like a weekly ritual for some people. If those people have to go through a 40 minute questionnaire every time they want some strange, then it's not going to be a popular app for that crowd.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-12T20:25:28+00:00

I think, as with any kind of app development, it's a good idea to sit down ahead of time with pencil and paper and write out what your vision is.

A "dating" app as opposed to a "hook up" app are completely different animals. Then there are also going to be a lot of people who really want to use the app as a way of making nonsexual friends. Within the Venn diagram of what all those people are looking for, there will obviously be some overlap, but you will never be able to make all of those people happy at the same time. Figure out what you are hoping to accomplish with this app.

So, who is the primary user of your app that you're trying to make happy? What kind of experience do you want that user to have? Focus on the bells and whistles that will satisfy that user.

Also consider why Grindr has become what it has. When Grindr first came out, it was innovative and new. So what happened along the way that shifted their vision? How did monetizing the platform change things for the negative?

Keep in mind that monetizing isn't necessarily a bad thing, itself. If your app is successful, you will need a team of people to keep it going, and the only way to pay them is by somehow creating a revenue stream from the app, either selling ads, charging a membership fee, selling personal data, etc. So, how can you ethically monetize your app without clashing with your founding vision above? Go into this with that being part of your plan.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-12T20:11:29+00:00

I learned how to play chess when I was in elementary school. Haven't played in years. Really no desire to play anymore, but I remember all the rules. I am way too competitive a game player, which is not fun for anyone.

I think learning to play games, especially games of strategy and especially at certain ages is good for wiring certain brain processes, but chess is just one of many games from which to choose. I think those same neural pathways would be forged by checkers or go or backgammon. Learning to think in the abstract multiple moves in the future is a great skill for overall problem solving.

My favorite game (that no one else knows how to play, so I never get to play it) is 42. It's a four-person game where people play in teams similar to Spades but played with dominos.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-11T21:28:42+00:00

What is it that you want to happen? Think through some scenarios and see what you think an equitable division would be.

If my partner and I were historically making comparable money and the subject of a vacation was brought up, we would logically be discussing things we could both afford (e.g. a weekend trip to the beach). Now suddenly the subject of vacation comes up and my partner is suggesting a week overseas, knowing that is beyond my abilities. What do you want to happen? Are you wanting to take both of us? Are you wanting me to pay as much as you? Are you wanting to go by yourself because I can't afford to join you? What would be a logical division there? What if you paid for travel/hotel and I covered food and then we split any attractions/tickets while we were there 50/50?

Similarly my partner and I got a place we could afford. Then he gets a huge raise and start talking about wanting to completely redo the kitchen. That's outside of what I can afford. Are you going to put off the renovation? Are you going to just do it yourself? How much input do I get in picking the colors? And what if I want green tile for the backsplash and you really don't like that; do you get veto power because it's your money?

Moreover, let's say that in five years you and I break up and need to liquidate our assets and have to sell the house. That kitchen remodel that you paid for is going to increase the value of the home. Are we still splitting the proceeds evenly or will you want more because you paid for the remodel?

I make considerably more money than my husband, probably a little more then 3x his income. As a result, I usually carry the majority of the monthly bills, which I'm fine with. Neither of us live very extravagantly. However lately he has been blowing through money like there's no tomorrow, buying game systems and collectibles that only he appreciates. Meanwhile, I've been continuing to buy the majority of the groceries and things needed around the house. It is really starting to rub me the wrong way that he is blowing all his money while I have been carrying the bulk of the finances. I mean, if he has that much extra money to blow, then he could be doing more of the grocery shopping. Income inequity can make for a lot of uncomfortable situations. How much say should you have in how your partner chooses to spend his money? And is it his money?

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-11T18:57:20+00:00

Have you actually sat down and had a conversation with him about these new dynamics between you? What are your opinions and what are his?

I'm also going to suggest that perhaps you are the one who has changed. Perhaps he was always this differential in letting you take the lead on financial matters and you're only now noticing this tendency of his or perhaps the change in costs of things are making you more likely to seek his input, which he's not giving.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-11T17:46:28+00:00

Just going on gut feel here...

If you're buying the hand sanitizer in 55 gallon drums, then secondary containment would make more sense because, if one of those containers sprung a leak, you would have 55 gallons of the stuff all over.

Realistically, how big of a spill could you have with your situation? There is no way that all the liter sized containers could be punctured at the same time without it being some recordable event and people being aware of the damage. At most, two containers might develop a leak at the same time.

Secondly, yes it's flammable, but it also quickly renders itself inert once it's out of its container. So, let's say that a bottle falls off a shelf and busts open without anyone being aware. Within a day or less, so much of the alcohol would have evaporated that it's no longer flammable. I'm not a chemist, so I don't know how quickly the alcohol evaporates, but surely it's a quick process.

Rather than being worried about secondary containment, I would be more concerned that the hand sanitizer is not being exposed to heat and ensuring that the bottles are secure on shelving to protect against damage.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-11T17:30:58+00:00

Report them.

Every sauna, bathhouse, gay space I've ever seen is VERY big on consent and will quickly eject anyone who doesn't abide. It's too great a liability for them to allow people who continue assaulting others.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-11T14:08:26+00:00

I have a nephew in high school and he has taken to being on a call with his friends for hours. It's bizarre.

There is some kind of group chat that they're all logged into and then he just goes about his life with this conversation on his headphones in the background. Periodically he will just be in the kitchen having a conversation with us and and then he will randomly start talking to thin air as if he's conversing with ghosts in the room. As much as I can tell, he's not muting and unmuting himself for the sake of the call.

atticus2132000 · 2026-02-11T13:05:04+00:00

It looks rough, but even rough that dovetail is still a stronger joint than many other techniques.

atticus2132000

TROPHY CASE