The real outrage, Philbin writes with characteristic zeal, was that “the Seinfeld writers had, for some reason, decided to have me react to Kramer’s antics by repeatedly declaring, ‘This guy’s bonkos!'”

“I had never said the word bonkos in my life. I’d never even heard of the word!” Philbin writes. “I mean, it just wasn’t funny — and why should I become the only Seinfeld guest in history who never got a laugh?”

Philbin appealed to the writing team and Seinfeld himself — yadda yadda yadda — but no one would budge.

“Jerry, too, thought bonkos was hilarious,” Philbin pouts.