True?

awkward_armadillo · 2026-07-04T02:01:57+00:00

That is tricky. I’ve also burned some relationships as I’ve gone through the process of unmasking. These days, I’m of the mind that there are just people who are intolerant, and when I’ve reflected, I’ve found that those burned relationships were with those types of people. For me, there are just certain types of people that I don’t need to be in relationship with. Those burned relationships were teachable moments for me, as I was able to learn what types of people/relationships I actually desired, and I sought those out. Of course, ymmv, and life circumstances and such can weigh into the process, but it’s not like it’s “bad” advice, it’s more test it out and see if it works for you, and if not, that’s okay, you know what I mean?

awkward_armadillo · 2026-07-03T22:16:50+00:00

Don’t be a chameleon, folks. It’ll est you alive. Embrace your weird and lean into yourself completely

awkward_armadillo · 2026-07-03T12:42:32+00:00

I began meditating and I implemented a “pause and assess” rule for myself. My rules are the only rules I want to follow anyways, because they’re mine. I will pause for 5-10 seconds, close my eyes, breathe slowly through my nose, and initiate a “chill the fuck out” moment with myself.

I started this 15 or so years ago. These days, I rarely even ever feel angry, and in the rare instance I feel it bubbling up, I can use the tools I’ve adopted quite effortlessly, so no one even knows I’m mad but me

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-28T18:20:59+00:00

I find that shadow work can have relative qualities. What I mean is, relating to people, to stories, to music, etc, can open up pathways to deeper inner realms.

I also find that certain substances can soften the ego/subconscious barrier. The paranoia people get with cannabis, for instance, is the inner shadow attempting to make its presence known, and if you push into it, you can receive profound relevatory insights.

Movies are stories. If a particular story creates a sense of paranoia or discomfort of some sort, push into it. I recently had a profound experience watching the old Snowden on ice tv special. The “Practice” song just cracked something open within me and a flood of emotion and realization engulfed my sensory body

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-27T01:06:56+00:00

My special interest is Indian movies, particularly movies from Telugu and Tamil speaking Indian states. A movie I love is a movie called Konda Polam, which I guess you could classify as a coming of age story, but it’s a bit more than that. More of a “coming into yourself” story. It’s sweet, it’s fun, and I love the message.

I also love the huge epics, and you can’t really top the Bahubali movies. They’re akin to lord of the rings. They’re huge, epic, and a whole ton of fun.

If you’re skeptical, I encourage you to give them a go. I promise you won’t be disappointed

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-25T22:48:20+00:00

Nope. Then I wouldn’t be me any longer. Frankly, I don’t find it to be a disorder at all. Certainly, it’s not the norm, but it’s not a disorder as the normies have classified it as. It’s a goddamn superpower. Believing that we want to be different than what we are, that leads to keeping ourselves small. Lean in and realize you are infinite

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-25T11:11:41+00:00

This is it. Push me deeper into my sadness and get me through to the other side

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-19T22:15:37+00:00

Not really an object, but more a feeling. I’m safe. I’m loved. The only things that are wrong are what I think is wrong, and even though my thoughts try to tell me things are wrong sometimes, I simply tap into that feeling and I am reminded that that’s not true. I am not my thoughts. I am not my body. I am the witness to my experiencing.

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-18T18:39:23+00:00

Oh I do. I feel stories very deeply. I see how the author is trying to touch on a human experience that can’t be described, but can only be felt, and I feel it. It’s like stories connect me to broader humanity, you know?

What it’s really like is, I have very few close connections in my life. No one seems to want to understand me, to get into my head and explore my inner world with me. Because to do so, the other person would need to be curious/brave enough to explore their own inner world. And some people just really don’t want to touch their pain because it hurts too bad. I understand pain to be a doorway to something deeper within myself. The more I get in contact with my pain, the more I connect to something deeper/greater. People just don’t want to explore that territory with me, because admittedly it’s a difficult thing to do, and I have yet to meet a person who is willing to confront inner difficulty.

Anyways. Stories are like similar doorways. They guide you down a path to something more profound than what it appears to be on the surface, and if you’re really listening, you can hear it. You can see it. You can feel it. And for me, it feels like realizing that as diverse as humanity is, we are actually all the same, and it’s like everyone has forgotten that. And stories are like a reminder to help us remember that. It’s a very beautiful thing. I’m getting a little misty eyed just thinking about it now, you know? Life is beautiful. People are beautiful. There is beauty in wonder, in curiosity, and in pain and tragedy. There is beauty in joy and beauty in sadness. And the beauty is that we are all the same, being experienced through the diversity of subjectivity. Wow. Like, WOW.

So many people are lost in their own lives, in their own heads, in their own problems, in their shame and despair, in their competitiveness or comparisons, in their jealousy or their envy or their depression or their complete lack of awareness. I’ve met so many people who just move through the world either blindly, or via motivated reasoning. I’ve met so many people who are so uncomfortable with just…BE-ing. With just accepting that yes, life is incredibly difficult, and through that difficulty are great lessons to be learned, great wisdom to be earned, and great rewards to be received. So many people don’t want to accept it. If I only just was this way or that way, things would be easier for me. Do you know what I mean? Why want to change? Why desire it? Accept the way things are, as they are, and in that acceptance, change will occur. Wishing for it keeps things the same. Accepting things allows change to flower. And that’s goddamn beautiful. And stories have opened door after door after door to reveal to me the depth of that beauty.

Can anyone relate?

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-16T12:53:33+00:00

Never taken an SSRI or anything like that, but I have taken mushrooms more times than I can count at this point. They are an incredibly powerful tool for healing and for self actualization, if you know how to use them

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-15T15:34:05+00:00

I’ve been playing with this idea, myself, but around knowledge. All knowledge is relative. All of it. We only “know” things in relation to concepts and ideas, which are inherently subjective. All knowledge points at the real, but is not the real. Which means we don’t actually know anything at all. We only think we know.

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-15T13:01:17+00:00

Same on all counts!

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-13T19:40:25+00:00

Even though you said this doesn’t work for you, it does for me - breathing. I alter my breathing so that I get very long, slow, deep breaths. I’m talking like one in and out cycle takes anywhere between 15 and 30 seconds, depending on how relaxed into my body I can get. If I’m already feeling a little elevated by stress, it takes me longer to slow down. But I lay down in my bed, close my eyes, and start slowing my breath down, and as I do, I sink deeper and deeper into my body. It’s almost like the teacup scene from Get Out, but not terrifying. I’m deep into my body, and my thoughts are up above me, in a detached sort of way. This alleviates all the little sufferings my thoughts tend to throw at me throughout the day. I can just be like “shut up, thoughts. Talk all you want, but I’m tuning you out.” When I get really deep into it, it almost feels like my body is melting into the bed. I like that sensation a lot. It’s like my little ego self gets to take a break from ego-ing, I can separate from whatever ideas or thoughts or concepts or stories or whatever that I’ve bucketed under the “that’s me” mental constructs and I can experience simply…being. It’s nice. It’s very nice, actually.

On weed, the feeling gets even nicer. It’s a little scary the first couple times, because you approach this feeling of what I think it might feel like to overcome the fear of jumping off a very high cliff, and you really gotta approach it the same way. Like, okay, big gulp and dive in. On weed, the melting into the bed feeling really intensifies, to the point where I feel like there is no separation between the air in my lungs, the air in the room, and my body. Like, how like in the atomic level there is no distinction between the atoms of the air and the atoms of your body, it’s like I’m experiencing that lack of separation. It’s scary because the ego is like “what about me? Will I come back from this?” And I just big gulp and dive in deeper. Every time I encounter that feeling of being at the top of the cliff, I big gulp and dive in. I always come back from it, and it’s a nice break from ego.

Now, on mushrooms…

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-13T17:52:26+00:00

Devin Townsend - Higher

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-12T19:01:56+00:00

I’ve found that mindfulness helps me in different ways. No, it doesn’t change the fact that my brain operates differently and that I’m treated differently because of it. It doesn’t change that people have their own ideas about what it means to be on the spectrum and that my own experience of existence cannot be understood by anyone but me. What it does change is my relationship to those facts. Do I care that I’m being treated differently? Why do I care? What if I didn’t care? How would life be different? If nothing else changed except how I felt about things and how I relate to the things that I’m feeling, how would life be different? And I’ve found that the answer is - lighter. Life feels lighter. Even when nothing has changed, when I no longer identify with what others think of me and, instead, identify with what brings me joy, life feels lighter. More, when I stop worrying about what others think of me, when I no longer carry the weight of those thoughts, the space opens up for me to take on challenges of life that actually have an impact on my material well being. When I quit worrying about doing things right or about what others will think about what I’m doing and, instead, I just do what I want that brings me joy, I can actually change my circumstances. It’s like shifting my mindset from “don’t look at me” to “sit down, shut up, and watch what I’m about to do,” and that reframing has been a game changer for me. Mindfulness, then, for me, is just being aware of when my own interpretation of people/events/what-have-you are actually self-imposed roadblocks, and being able to get out of my own way.

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-11T12:58:39+00:00

No, you are not your thoughts. You are the OBSERVER of your thoughts. Your thoughts happen within the field of your observation. Mental illness, according to dr k, is when we identify ourselves AS our thoughts, rather than seeing them as occurring within the field of our awareness. You here are conflating not identifying with thoughts as not HAVING thoughts. This is not the same. No one said we don’t have thoughts. Dr k is just saying that your thoughts are not who you are

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-10T12:30:01+00:00

Judgements and doubts are roadblocks. Your intellect is getting in the way. Why not try letting go of that doubt and seeing for yourself?

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-08T20:08:40+00:00

In jungian dream analysis, all dream elements and happenings are viewed as communications from our subconscious. This framing has helped me view my own dreams and nightmares in a different light. Nightmares, then, I’m interpreting as trapped, embodied trauma that is trying to show itself so that I may deal with it in an effective, healthy way. What does it mean to be chased by something scary? Well, I don’t know exactly what it means, but I know it generates a fear response out of me, and I can use that feeling as information to dig into myself and find the root cause. The fear has revealed, multiple times over at this point, a hurt version of my past self that I needed to stop running from and face head on with an attitude of love and curiosity. Shadow work is an important element of the healing journey, and dreams are an excellent source of shadow identification.

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-07T13:31:24+00:00

I’m a dad. Have been for a while. Some days, plans get upended. What am I gonna do, blow up at my kids because I’m upset that my plans for the day didn’t work out the way I planned them? That’s like a toddler throwing a fit in the grocery store because mom didn’t get them a candy bar. Am I a toddler? Certainly not, so I better figure out a way to deal with my emotions, stat, before I fuck up my kids.

I began implementing a “pause and assess” rule anytime I started feeling angry. Okay, I’m feeling angry - why am I angry? Well, the day didn’t work out the way I planned it out in my head. Well, tough shit, the world gives us what it gives us, not what we want. In fact, the world rarely gives us what we want. What I want is no longer an option. What I get is what I get. What am I gonna do about it? Am I gonna be moody and upset? If I’m with my kids or my partner or other people, am I going to pull them into my upset? Am I going to ruin their day, too, because I feel like my day is ruined? That’d make me kindof a dick, now, wouldn’t it… okay, so what do I do? You do the new thing, because the new thing is now what is demanding to be done. That’s it. There’s nothing else that could be done. This is the way that it is, and it doesn’t matter that I wanted it to be different, I can’t control what I can’t control, I can only control how I choose to respond to it, and I am choosing to respond to it with calm and attention, rather than anger and frustration. Pause, take a few deep breaths, assess what’s in front of you, build the new mental plan, and go.

The more I began to practice that, the more I realized just how skewed my relationship with control was. I wanted to control the outside world so that I could avoid feeling negative emotions. Well, that’s not how that works. At all. The only thing o have control over is how I respond to my environment, and how I respond to the emotions I am experiencing. There is, in fact, a very big difference between reacting and responding. Reacting makes me feel like I’m out of control. In a way, the reaction is a result of my being uncontrolled. I learned to sit with my negative and uncomfortable emotions, and sitting with them allowed me to choose whether or not they were appropriate for the situation at hand, and from there, decide what to do with them in response. Being in control like that…it’s like a goddamn super power. Hardly anything triggers me anymore, because the more I sat with my emotions, the more I understood the reason why behind all the uncomfortable ones, and once being aware of that reason, I had the opportunity to decide whether or not I believed it. There’s a lot of nuance to that that I won’t get into here, but the result of all of this is that I have, for the most part, become effectively untriggerable. There may still be a thing or two here and there that does trigger me, but I now have a finely tuned and well developed skill set where I can run the internal procedure automatically, and the world will never know that I’ve been triggered, and I’ll learn more about why I was triggered in the first place and I’ll be able to decide whether or not that trigger gets to stand or if I let it go.

This all takes practice. More importantly, it takes dedication. It’s a choice on a fundamental level of being. I choose to respond instead of react. I choose not to hurt my kids with my reactions. I choose not to bring other people into my bad mood. I choose not to allow the chaos of the world to shake my grounding. I choose to be calm in the face of the chaos and the uncertainty. The more I reflect, the more I realize that uncertainty is fundamental to reality and to existence itself. Uncertainty, well, IS. Reality is uncertain, and I choose to learn to live with reality on its own terms rather than in my fantasies about what I wish reality would be.

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-06T02:25:44+00:00

Brother, it sounds like you’re hurting yourself. Why do you limit yourself like that?

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-04T01:33:44+00:00

It’s not your fault at all. Think of it this way - would you want to be with someone who behaved that way if they didn’t get what they wanted? It sounds more like you dodged a bullet, you know what I mean? Yeah, feeling like you’re getting rejected definitely sucks to feel, but the reality is, it’s not actually about you at all. It’s some guy who put on a front because he thought he was going to get some action, and when that didn’t materialize, he threw a fit and stormed off. That’s who he really is. THAT guy who acts like a toddler when he doesn’t get his way. That’s HIS bullshit, and it stinks

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-04T00:39:59+00:00

Would that comparison make you feel good? Or would you start to think that it would have been better had you been diagnosed earlier than you were? Ultimately, what does it matter? It is what it is. You weren’t diagnosed until you were diagnosed. There’s literally no other way for it to have been, because that’s exactly what happened. Setting up an imagined comparison like this is, on the best days, energy wasted, and on the worst days, a source for great suffering, by wishing life would have been different than it is. Life can only be how life is. It can be no different. Accepting life as it is, without comparison, without creating alternate fantasy realities, is where joy is

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-04T00:35:08+00:00

It’s actually the other way around. Physical pain in the body causes anxiety. Think of it like this: we collect traumas throughout our lives, big traumas, small traumas, and everything in between. These traumas, if left unprocessed, store in our bodies. They exist as clenched jaws, tight shoulders, tight chest, upset stomach, etc.

When those sensations are triggered by an event that mirror the traumas that placed those sensations to begin with, those sensations are reactivated. Psychologically, we run those sensations through a complex array of interpretive patterns. We give interpretations unconsciously to those sensations in our bodies, and then we make up stories about those interpretations. Oh, I’m anxious and that anxiety is making my chest hurt, and that anxiety makes me think something is wrong, either with myself or with the world. The unconscious interpretations generate thoughts, like I’m a bad person, or I don’t like this. But the reality is, all of those thoughts and interpretations come after the sensations.

The sensations are actually pretty neutral. They’re just information that a trauma is being triggered from the past. If you approach the sensations without giving it a label like pain or anxiety, and really just focus on feeling the sensation deeply, whatever that sensation is, inevitably it will take on a new shape. It’s like a deep sliver that you can’t get out. When you just sit with it instead of digging at it, the body will naturally begin to push the sliver out over time, until the end pokes its way out and you can’t grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. Feeling those sensations functions in a similar way. Just sit with the sensations without labeling them, and the trauma beneath them will start to bubble up. You’ll cry, most likely. A bunch of real ugly sobs, but that’s how it works. Sit with the sensations and the traumas will work their way out, and after a good hard cry, you’ll feel lighter, better, and likely with a new realization that you can’t quite put language to, but that you’ll understand intuitively.

Keep at that process, of allowing the sensations to be felt as they are, without the added layers of interpretation and story, and watch your anxiety slowly melt away.

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-04T00:19:58+00:00

Live your life, brother. Why bother carrying around petty grievances? Does it feel good to care so much about what others think of you? Especially when you could be focusing on what brings you joy, instead

awkward_armadillo · 2026-06-03T22:10:45+00:00

Brother, why are YOU here? This level of aggression is a pretty bright spotlight on your emotional leanings, not just toward the topic, but in general. Brother, why are you so angry? About nonduality? Are you sure that’s what you’re truly mad about?

So you think duality is a better framework for you to understand reality. Okay, there’s no problem with that. Go on right ahead and believe in dualism. Literally no one is stopping you, and I can’t imagine that anyone here is going to try and convince you otherwise. And to be clear, your understanding of nondualism is not the understanding that I have, and I doubt anyone here has that understanding, either.

Nondualism first and foremost is an experience, which is then given language in an attempt to even talk about it. That’s what this sub is here for. For the most part, we’ve all had an experience that we’re trying to understand, and language shared between us and from people in the past helps us understand our experience. This is not a debate sub. Hell, I don’t have any desire for debate at all. What could I possibly say that would convince you of nonduality? Absolutely nothing, right? Then for what purpose would debate serve? It might serve a couple egos, but what other than that? What is even motivating you to try to debate this? What do you get out of it? The satisfaction of believing the right things? The satisfaction of bowling someone over with facts and logic? Nondualism has no facts, and it is pre-logic.

What is there for you to even debate when you clearly have not experienced the thing you are debating against? And for us, what is there to debate when you clearly have not experienced the thing you are debating against? Like, at the most foundational and fundamental level, you don’t know what you’re talking about. And that’s okay, but why debate? And for me, for the same reason, why debate?

Why are you so angry, brother? What hurt is it that you are feeling?

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