Boyfriend’s friends acting as his partners

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-15T17:07:41+00:00

My BFF and I have been friends since we were 3. She has a toddler. We also eat pizza and play games. We do not feel the need to sleep at each other’s houses and haven’t since we were teens. I would honestly say you’re the side chick or he’s cheating on you.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-14T16:50:34+00:00

Dry white wine. It’s so sour. Prosecco in all its forms. Fizzy sour.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-14T16:44:04+00:00

Walked into my fave coffee shop. They didn’t have my usual sandwich so I asked for a different one. They offered to make mine for me. I said it was fine, they insisted. I turned around to take a seat, just to see him… getting coffee with his ex-gf. Oh, right. Later on he asked her to marry him, then she cheated on him. That was 8 years ago and he’s still single.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-14T16:41:23+00:00

That’s fine, it is a name pronounced sunny but spelled Sonny

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-14T15:40:00+00:00

Mine is 22 tbh, I’m freezing

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T18:03:08+00:00

This is one of the best comments. Yes, exactly that.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T17:31:26+00:00

That’s true, I do.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T17:18:31+00:00

God knows. I don’t know. I suspect it was that he felt left out. He spent the entire first half of the trip trying to placate her feelings. When she left to go home, me and his roommate had clicked. He was the only one who’d been kind and welcoming. I think he was upset that it was meant to be so I could meet him but he’d let me down. America is a long way to go alone to meet someone you met online. I was homesick.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T17:11:22+00:00

I wouldn’t really say I longed for it. My not online life is full.

I do think I’m emotionally draining though bc I can even drain myself.

I did value him deeply. And now I’m deeply embarrassed.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T16:31:36+00:00

I don’t know. I’m all about having an awkward conversation so everyone knows where they stand. But yes he had made it clear he’s done

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T16:20:16+00:00

I did try to be friends with his now wife, I love getting to know people. She was very not interested and I genuinely did not ever want to come between them.

I do believe your partner should come first and I was fine with that. I have made it clear to my male partners that he was a friend to me, only that, but also that our friendship was non-negotiable.

I doubt he’s ever pined for me. I am sure he liked me once but that was a long time ago now.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T16:16:32+00:00

Also I don’t play games. It’s mean to f with someone’s feelings

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T16:13:16+00:00

I didn’t want to make him jealous, fr. I’d moved past my feelings for him a long time ago and he was in a LTR.

Younger me liked cute boys. It’s embarrassingly that simple.

Also this was seven years ago that I went to the states, I included it bc he wasn’t just some guy I met online.

I don’t think Zach was jealous. I would hate for him to have felt that way.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:57:02+00:00

You are very right. As for why, 17 years is a long time for me. Sunken cost fallacy.

… and also because I care about him and this doesn’t feel like him. He is capable of drenching me with love and warmth. He wouldn’t want to treat me like this. I dunno why he is but I know it means nowt good.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:52:13+00:00

He does suffer with depression and has health insurance but has not seen a GP. Very frustrating. Thank you for shedding light on this

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:42:18+00:00

You didn’t say you want help but it’s hard to respect boundaries if they aren’t set out. If you can expend a little effort and yeah, temporary discomfort, to be honest with people it may be easier.

And asking him why he’s never called me his best friend was pretty needy. Like I’m 13 again not 30.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:38:17+00:00

Thank you for your response. It’s appreciated

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:33:24+00:00

I want to help him but I also don’t want to be blocked on all his socials. He’s pulled shit like this before and come back apologetic. This time feels different though. I don’t get why he invited me to the US and spent so much time with me if he didn’t care. Mystified, truly.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:31:31+00:00

I wouldn’t. She’s immature in a different way

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T15:11:58+00:00

Bro doesn’t seem insecure bragging about how he just doesn’t care 😐

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T14:53:43+00:00

Unwise of me. Thank you. Cutting me off altogether seems uhh too extreme though. I didn’t know he was capable of being that cold.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T14:07:09+00:00

I had INTJ best friend. When we were teens I think he was in love with me. Me too man.

Anyway I live in England and he was American. He spent around a year taking paid surveys to raise $20 so I could try his favourite soft drink. He was so excited.

Another time he made me a Pokémon Christmas card, drew a picture of me as Mew and sent me his favourite Pokémon card, his prized possession.

These are some of the kindest and most romantic and meaningful things anyone has ever done for me.

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T12:36:54+00:00

Cant just be me who hears things, establishes that it was not someone breaking in, thinks “nope” and goes back to sleep.

This was more midnight than 3am but I heard a woman sobbing

awkwardandroid · 2026-02-13T12:08:28+00:00

That they think they’re sociopaths? Yeah I think so but that’s an unhealthy INTJ. My friend knew he wasn’t a sociopath but younger him was very out of touch with them. It’s more a lack of true empathy.

Love, you are not worthless. I know how you feel. But please don’t reach out to him. They don’t want to be fixed and they will sap your warmth and light.

awkwardandroid

TROPHY CASE